Shattered Hearts, Unspoken Bonds

Mary As soon as I arrive home from school, my mom,Bliar, Tom, and Riley are sitting in the living room like they were waiting for me to walk through the door. What worries me the most is their expressions. "Sit down, Mary. We have to talk." As soon as I take a seat next to my mom, she coughs, and a slight cry escapes past her lips, "I have small cell lung cancer, Mary." Mom gets straight to the point, speaks smoothly as if she feels empty on the inside, void of all emotions. She's had time to allow everything to sink in. I, however, didn't. As her words flow through me, the realization sinks in. I shake my head as I mutter, "No, no, no "I can't lose my mother. I just can't. She's all I have. I need her. Dad left; he died. He left us unwillingly, so mom has to stay here with me. She just has to. Pain shudders throughout my entire body. My chest burns with defeat. I'm paralyzed. I'm afraid. I can't lose her too. Helplessly, I let the tears tumble down my cheeks as disbelief slowly becomes my new reality. Not my mom. God already took my father. Please, God, I silently pray. Don't take my mother from me as well. Cancer took my father, and now it will probably take my mother. I stare at my mother with tears slipping from my eyes. "You have to fight this battle and win, Mom. I can't lose you." I take a deep breath. "You're my mother and my best friend. How would I live without you?" The thought of losing her stings. It hurts. I can't live my life without my mother. Since my father passed away, life for mom and me was complicated. However, mom made life bearable after losing dad. My mother always makes everything okay. No, she can't leave me. Even in our darkest moments, mom brought happiness. She brought comfort when I needed it. Love when I needed it. She's a mother and a best friend, and I need her to beat this. In reality, I'm not ready to lose my mother, just like I wasn't ready to lose my father. No, no, no, she can't ever leave me. Mom is my rock. She is my strength. She's my mother. "I can't live without you, Mom." I'm powerless to stop the tears as I stare at her. "Oh, honey." She pulls me into her side, gently strokes my arm. "I will fight every day for you and me.I can't make any promises Mary, if this takes a turn for the worse, you will never be alone. You will always have Bliar, Tom, and Riley." I understand that I'll always have Tom and Bliar. However, nobody can take my mother's place. Bliar has been my mother's best friend since high school. The two are inseparable. Bliar is the sister my mother never had, considering she is the only child. Riley and I have a bond that I don't quite understand. Other than my mother, Riley is the only friend I have. I slide my arm around my mother's back, and the other around her front, hugging her tightly. I hold on to her, not wanting to ever let her go. "You're irreplaceable, Mom." I break down, weeping into her side. "If anything happens to me, Mary, promise me always to live your life and never stop being the happy, loving girl you are." She brushes her hand down my hair, trying to comfort me. Sadly, it doesn't work. At the moment, all I can think about is never hugging her again. Never hearing her laughter or having her by my side. "I am who I am becauseof you, Mom. When daddy died, you were all I had left. I need you to beat this because I can't live without you." "I've already spoken to Bliar and Tom, and they have promised to take care of you if" Urgently, I cry out, "Stop Mom." I bounce off the couch. "Stop talking like you 're going to die." I whimper, breathing heavily. "You are not going to die." I cover my face with my hands, "You can't die." Strong arms wrap around me, draw me into a. hug. His arms hold me up when I feel like falling, "Everything will be okay, Mary." I pound on Riley's chest, releasing all my anger and hurt on my best friend. "It won't be okay, Riley." I cry louder, "She's my mother." I sob as I drop to my knees, slipping out of his hold. "If she dies, nothing will be okay ever again." "Hey." Riley places his fingers under my chin, tilts my face up to meet his, "She's still here. She's still alive." He sets his hand over my heart, "Your heart is still beating, and so is hers." I notice a tear escape his eye. "We're okay." He pulls me into his arms, and I go willingly. "Love her while you still can." He says in a whisper. Riley is hurting. Tom and Bliar are hurting. Finding out my mother has cancer isn't just hurting me. It's hurting all of us. I grip Riley's shirt in my hands, "I don't want to lose her." "I know," He whispers softly as he pulls me closer. "Neither do I," Riley admits. He and I have always considered ourselves lucky to have two of the best mothers in the world. Our families have done everything together. We celebrated every holiday, vacation, and birthdays together. I don't have a memory that doesn't involve Bliar, Tom, or Riley. My mother comes over to Riley and me, stoops down to her knees, "Im not giving up, Mary." She breathes deeply, "I start my first round of chemo treatments tomorrow." I tip my head to the left, leaving my cheek pressed against Riley's chest. "Im going to remain by your side every step of the way," I promise. Alas, that is a promise I will never break. Bliar and Tom squat on the floor, fold us into their arms. "Tom and I will be right there fighting with you," Bliar reassures my mom. "You have always been my hero, mom." I wipe at my eyes. "You're the strongest person I know, Mom. If anybody can beat this, it would be you." "Your daughter is right, Latt." Bliar sits down on the floor, wraps her arms around her legs. "You're the strongest person I know also, Latt." Tears form in Bliar's eyes as she stares at her best friend, my mother, "You better not leave us." Bliar murmurs, brokenly. My mom reaches out, takes hold of Bliar's hand. "Bliar, you and I have been best friends our entire life. You are the only person I trust to take care of my daughter if something should happen. I know you will love her as I do. If I don't beat this, promise me" Mom chokes on her words, unable to finish. Clearly, mom is hurting too. She's scared and is trying to remain strong for me. I realize at this moment that my mother is as terrified of leaving me as I am of losing her. Bliar places her hand on my shoulder. My grip tightens around Riley. "I promise I won't let anything happen to her." She stares fiercely into my mother's eyes. "I loved your daughter all her life, Latt. That will never change. I promise I'll love her extra harder for you." "Stop," I scream into Riley's chest. "Stop talking like you're going to die, Mom." I let go of Riley and crawl between my mother's legs. Hastily, mom wraps her arms around me. "I knew mother will have to fight the biggest fight of her life with our family by her side. I notice Bliar, Riley, and Tom, staring at my mother and me. What scares me the most is that I recognize the uncertainty on their faces. Evidently, they are trying to be strong, and keep it together for me, and for mom, but they are barely holding on to themselves. I have to be strong. I have to keep faith to make sure my mother doesn't lose hers. My mother will beat this. She'll do it for me, and for dad. She has to.