Finding His Sun

Chapter Two

The sun shining through the window felt warm on her facets she woke up. Her whole body ached and struggled to get up off of her bathroom floor. She did not want to leave the cool of the tiles, but pried herself away. Many nights after Erin left Mason’s she found herself feeling empty, crying on the floor. She knew she did not and could not love him fully, but he loved her so much. She thought he did. He may not have shown it in all the right ways, but he looked at her with passion. No man had ever looked at her that way.

Erin, ever since she was little, was very beautiful. She had long wavy golden brown hair and blue eyes. She matured faster than most of the girls in her highschool class, which did not go unnoticed. She had offers from many guys, and even took them up on it. Every one of them just saw her for face-value. She did not have anyone around to teach her what love was, but she thought she found it in Mason’s eyes. She never had someone pay attention to her, until Mason. When she first met him, he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. He laughed at all her jokes, and loved listening to her dreams and ambitions. Back then she had so much passion and so many dreams, and she wanted to share them with Mason. He was son to one of the most prestigious families in town, and she always wondered why he set his sights on her. There was absolutely nothing Erin could give Mason that he did not already have. He was working towards being a partner at his father’s firm, he was out of debt, and could have any girl he wanted… she could never measure up to him. She always wondered why he chose her. They had been dating for a year, and she started to realize his love was not as pure as she imagined, but it was never ending, and Erin liked being loved. Impurity was a small price to pay for never ending love.

Looking in the mirror, Erin frowned at the dark circles which now held strong on her face. She was withering away. Come to think of it, she did not know when she had eaten last. She often forgot about herself and her needs, it was easier. Ignoring her appearance, she went straight to bed. She knew she had things to do, but she couldn’t hold her eyes open anymore. It was two in the afternoon before Ryan figured out the house was a mess and it wasn’t going to be picked up any time soon. The slamming of her bedroom door woke her. Ryan barged in and laid next to her.

“You don’t feel good do you?” he asked.

“No. I’m sorry,” She replied, her heart still racing from him slamming the door. 

He sat up, “I’m tired too Erin. We can pick up the house tomorrow”. 

She looked at him shocked, but tried to hide her excitement, “Thank you”.

He left without another word. Erin was not used to Ryan being a gentleman, but with no friends around, he had no one to impress, and he could see she was hurting.

Earlier that month, Ryan walked in on her and Mason arguing. Ryan was drunk, like always, and did not like Mason yelling at Erin. The thought made her laugh, since Ryan yelled at her more than anybody, but he knew it was different with Mason. Ryan had anger without any threat, Erin was just a person for him to take out his own pain on, with Mason, it was real. He and Mason were both twenty-four and went through school together. Ryan wasn’t fond of Mason being rich and always having his way because of money. That night Ryan punched him multiple times. Erin had to apologize and make up for Ryan’s mistake in ways he didn’t know, so Mason wouldn’t press charges. The last thing Ryan needed was another record holding him back. 

Ryan was a good guy he had just been through a lot in the last five years. His senior year and Erin’s junior, both of their father’s were suddenly killed in a car crash. Ryan had never had a mother so Erin’s mother took him in with them. Slowly Erin’s mother could not handle the loss of her husband and decided to leave and focus on her research in the jungles of Vietnam. Erin’s mother, Debra, was an environmental biologist and was always engrossed with her research more than her daughter. Erin was not surprised when she woke up one morning to a note saying she loved her, just not enough to stay. She left a little money for Erin and Ryan and they haven’t heard from her since. Ryan couldn’t take another person leaving him so he shut everyone out, even Erin. He fell into a bad crowd at college then eventually dropped out. It’s been five years and he still holds more anger in him than most people accumulated in a lifetime, and Erin knew that. She tried to ease his pain by looking the other way and being the adult for both of them. He needed time to heal… but so did she.

Erin laid in bed all day. She wanted to rest. She put on a long sleeve shirt and pants to cover up the bruises from last night’s activities. No one would see them. She knew that, but for her own sanity she covered them any way she could. Mason was not stupid. He hurt in places no one would see. He expressed his love the only way he knew how. She knew it made him feel better, to have all the power. So, she let him. She always hated herself for selling her soul to the devil.