Lost Hope

The Arrangement

I had to walk over five minutes to get to what most humans would call a castle. There was a 10 story building of classrooms with the cafeteria on the bottom floor and 9 stories of classrooms. The dorms were in the next building over, but I didn’t have to go there.

They didn’t allow unmated in the dorms.

This gave me a chance to work near my classes.

They called getting to attend classes, getting one meal every other day, and having my hut equivalent payment. The mini-fridge is still a goto item.

I'm in love with a fridge.

I still haven't sorted out how a sketchy hut and housework in a mansion was any sort of equivalent payment.

I called it slavery, but at least I didn’t get put in the basement with the spiders.

The food situation was easily figured out..

As long as staff continued to avoid me like the plague, they would never know I snuck food out to my hut.

When I left home, I thought things would be easier. College had seemed so plausible with my smarts and sense to survive I figured everything would be fine. My furry knight in shining armor would arrive, life would be fixed, I would have a dozen pups, and I would never again worry about a home.

I'm still wrong on that front. The only thing I have gotten is a shiny dustpan and mop.

I don't exactly hate me, but there isn't much love either.

I hate being an outcast.

I hate being alone with my stupid thoughts.

I hate that my wolf hates me more than I hate me.

This is a very contradictory statement, but I think she thinks she's being supportive in some way. Like two of us loathing the same person could totally solve my blooming depression.

I walked into my campus with my head held high. Everyday the males stared at me like I was meat, while the females stared at me like I was the plague. I really shouldn't have to say, you keep your man cause ain't nobody else wanting all that.

If I didn't want me, what makes these idiots think I wanted anything outside my mate.

I have already faced enough bull to last a lifetime.

My parents had been so disappointed to get a reject like me. They had hoped to have grandpups by now and a son in law to adore. They instead got this shitshow.

I don't mean to be this dark this early in the morning.

I have caught a break having caught the attention of only a few on campus. There were the polite nodders and then the bullies.

My main bullies really did run together in their own pack.

I will be content to never have to listen to someone shouting,"Hey, Trash you missed a spot" as they in every jerk fashion dumped their trays on the ground.

Stupid Megan was the worst. She is supposed to be a Luna. Like she could really care for anyone other than herself.

Megan is one of the few bullies that will physically attack me. In my time here she already snapped my arm, broke some ribs, and beats me till I am unconscious.

Screw her and her crew. All because I am different. There should be nothing wrong with being a little unusual. It's not like it's my fault.

Today’s round of dodging Megan was unsuccessful because I came in late.

Freaking Alarm clock.

I knew her schedule in and out. It’s easy to avoid someone when you know where she is supposed to be.

I made it to the fourth floor cleaning before she has me pinned.

I should have just skipped this floor.

She doesn’t have her minions, so at least today’s beating will be mild. She thinks she’s strong but I know the truth after each hit.

This Luna is a weak she wolf who only gains her strength from teaming up with others.

Really I’m bored with her. I’m like I’ve survived too much to put up with all of her dramatics.

Today’s bullying encompasses how fat I am, stupid, reject, swift kick to the ribs.

Damn. She had to go for the ribs. If you wonder what the issue is. They still have not healed from the last attack.

Today’s rounds were quick because she didn’t have her audience.

I wipe the tears off my face and pick myself up. The rest of the fourth has to be finished, then onward to fifth through ninth.

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I’m caught up by class time. I’m not exactly moving gracefully, but I do finish each floor correctly.

Class is theory of werewolf history III. We each have to take this course each year. I am a Junior which is how I ended up in the third class. I like the professor a lot in this particular course. The last couple weeks have been on past lives and reincarnation. I don’t believe in this, but it’s something new and interesting.

Today’s topic is reincarnation dreams. The dreams she describes are familiar and the setup to start having the dreams till my life issues are resolved.

Professor states one of the causes of the beginning of past life dreams can be a near death encounter. I’m a little worried. I wonder if my dreams are my past. If my dreams are my past, what does that mean for my future?