BLAMELESS SORROWS

2. Encounter

Heri's Point of View.

Ohh it's something new again, is it another dairy?

I know this is invading someone's privacy, but that guilt I have gotten used to it already since when I was so so much younger.

Since I have to know anyway, the least I can do for them is know them with respect and try to understand as much as I ever can, instead of neglecting them in the name of ignorance when I have to know anyway.

The person this time is in pain again, will he ever get over it, I wonder?

Since he was very little he has been broken.

If I could, I wish I can tell him that it is not his fault; that it is no one's fault.

But whenever I think about it, meeting him or comforting him is not my place. I may know his deepest secret and his most vulnerable moments and feelings that he tried so hard to hide. To me, it may seems like he is my closest friend, but no matter what; for him Iam just a stranger, whose face he has never seen and that is truly so.

But the things he write down are so so painful that, I sometimes want to boldly assume that he won't mind even if a complete stranger comfort him.

Even today he wrote with tears in his words.

A monster lurk deep inside my heart, someone says he is dark, someone says he has no emotion, someone says he know not what is what, someone says he is just an animal, he recognise anyone not.

But the most hurtful thing was not that, the monster is inside me, but that someone who call me a monster is me.

And I guess it's time for the moster to go back home again, to the deep dark forest I reserve for him. The itch to set itself free is too strong for me to ignore.

I guess it's time for me to prepare dinner again.

I should count it as a blessing that I live near the forest.

With that I take the books I need and went towards the shelf, ready to keep everything to its place. Many books come in yesterday, so Iam trying to keep it back in the shelf of the library, where Iam standing right now.

But when I was about to sit down Vann rush in, super excited.

Vann : Rii, how do I look?

Hmm? This is new!

He is wearing an oversized white shirt loosely tucked in his olive green dress pant which perfectly fit him, and a light grey cotton loafer.

His light brown hair tousled carelessly while his warm grey eye popping in ecstasy, and his charm full face paint in a joyful smile, he do look quite alright.

Heri : You look quite okay.

Vann: Come on sis, thats it! 'its just alright?'

He quote unquote his last words as he look at me in disbelieve.

Dara: Okay! what's up with you, where are you going that you suddenly care about your look all so much?

Vann: I care about my look from before.

I look at him intently, my gaze unmoving, telling him with my eye to spit it out.

He tried to avoid my gaze for a while but in just a few seconds, he give in.

Vann: Okay, okay, Iam meeting someone.

That quickly peak my interest. The holy introvert is finally seeing someone! Wow!

Heri: Iam not wrong here to think by meeting, you mean dating right?

He blush a bit as I say that, his grey eye blinking everywhere in shyness. While I stare at him relentlessly making him give in.

Vann: Yes yes, you are right!

That quickly put me into action and I get to my Tippy toe and quickly fix his hair which was a bit too wild before.

After that I quickly give an overall look of his look and give him a big thumbs up. Which make him smile and rush out shouting his bye and take care.

While me I smile like an old mom who is smiling proudly looking at his little boy all grown up.

But joke aside, I can't believe my little brother is even dating. I wonder where does he even meet someone, that dude is always home or at work. He do and went nowhere else, I wonder where they meet?

Wahh, I can't wait for him to come home later. I at least want to know who the special lady is, that got him all nervous and giddy.

While I smile at him, I also went towards the kitchen to prepare my basket.

The basket include about ten kilogram of finely cooked steak. And about two dozen of plates. I very expertly packed all the things in the basket which perfectly fit, experience speak.

With that I carry the basket and leave it in the living room, while I went up to my room and went and put on the black hooded cloak.

I put it on, perfectly hiding my face with it.

And with that I went out by the back door and went into the deep green forest.

This forest is a unique one, it's about 500 hectare big which is covered with nothing but tall and big big pine tree which is green the whole year and wholely fortified. And in the middle of the forest there is a small river that flow through it which is also perennial. This forest is also a reserved spot, so no other than the royal family can enter.

That is what it is said but I know better than that, this forest is not for the royals, rather it is for the beast who comes home every now and then.

But overall what make this forest so much special is not due to its beauty which it really is beautiful, it's not due to how fertile the place is, or how much fresh and clean water flow by the river. Rather it is the fact that everything in the forest is personally grown by the 'fruit basket' and it is the home to the beast is what make it so special.

Cause this is the only place in the kingdom where the beast exist and the fruit basket grow a forest herself rather than blessing an already grown forest.

By the way when I say the fruit basket, I mean Tilbe. The only royal of Iklu and the current ruler of our country.

She is comically and lovingly called the fruit basket, because of her talent or gift.

That is, she can grow anything on earth in a snap of a finger anytime she want. That is her gift, which is she can grow anything she likes.

So in Iklu, there are no such thing as bad harvest. All crops grown are blessed by the fruit basket.

And yes most of the forest around here are mainly filled with fruits tree which had fruits on it the whole year, mainly because the fruit basket is obsess with any type of fruits so the name, fruit basket.

Anyway, now I have reach the forest. The forest is about half a mile away from my home, so it's quite near. I went in through the small secret opening, I created years back.

I went inside the forest and start to place the meat in each plate and place them around the area. Around each corner I put some and then around the middle I did place some as well.

After a bit of walking around, Iam on the other end of the forest. I was about to finish placing all the meat like I usually do.

But I suddenly heard a growl from nearby . Startled, I quickly whip my head back.

I know I have been doing this for a while now, and I kind of know what to expect but experiencing it first hand is no joke.

Cause right now, the beast is standing just in front of me while me I freeze.

Like I have read, his furs do look as black as the midnight sky. But also, it shine with a very beautiful lustre that you have no choice but to be lure into it.

A face which still resemble a human feature but mostly covered with black hair. A deep twisted horn with a long black hair in the back. His facial features twisted in a root like manner yet still look humanly.

He stand there in his two fury feet, a bit hunch. His whole body covered with the familiar black hair.

And yes, he stare at me with deep monstrous red eye, staring in wonder while still having a murderous gaze.

I stand there starstruck, completely frozen. I know I have thought of this situation a thousand time, but I always brush it off thinking that I will be careful enough not to run into the someone who I have been feeding for five years now.

You see, Iam noble enough to sympathise and do things to take away even if its just a little part of his pain, but Iam definitely not courageous enough to face the danger face on. Iam not that kind of brave character, rather Iam someone who is all too timid and will always run.

But now that Iam here, should I run?

But I don't think I can outrun him, if he did decide to chase me!

And if he caught me then, will I be in more danger?

What am I saying?

Should I just stand here and wait for him to do whatever he will do?

May it be attacking or god bless just leaving thinking Iam frozen!

Okay this is just a battle inside me now. But then again, what do I do?

I keep on trying to have the eye contact Iam maintaining right now, I don't know why Iam doing this though.

I can't run, I won't win in that area. Iam quite sure, mainly because I know my stamina best. Basically it is none existence.

And because if I want to run I have to climb the wall behind me or run past where he is standing, so nop. Basically Iam cornered.

But I can't stay here like this forever, so I slowly and slowly reach for the meat and throw it far away.

Hoping for the beast to follow along, but I was definitely wrong. As the beast look at where I throw the meat and then to me, and I swear I saw him roll his eye at my foolishness.

While I hold my breath and stand there full on alert afraid of his reaction, whatever that might be.

And true to my fear, he let out a loud growl making me shudder in fear and fall backward in a thud. Wow that hurts, but I bet that will not be the only thing that will hurt, in just about seconds now.

I shudder once more and tried to shake off my fear but then I quickly remember something. So with no choice I tried it.

Heri : Oh beastly, please go your way and I'll go mine.

I look at him hoping for the positive reaction. And no Iam not saying this just for anything.

In the many book of the Iklu's beast, which is a beast that turn into a beast in the season of harvest and remain a human the othe time of the year.

Anyway, there is a legend that although they don't have full emotion and understanding of the world as their human side do. They still have emotion and understanding but it will be much more primal and will be somewhat more like a wild animal rather than human.

But they still do understand most of human language, so in ancient time if people meet them, they often said what I just said, showing him that they mean no harm and want peace and nothing else.

And in that situation the beast are said to leave them alone, and went their way. As even though they are beast, they are human first. And all they want is peace; it's like if you leave them alone, they will leave you alone as well.

They are said to attacked only those who provoked them or challenge them their security. And strangely there are rumours that if you went to where they are and said bad things about them or rather talk in a challenging way.

Then they follow you wherever you are and attack you. And once the beast has start to attack you, they will leave only when he is dead or the one he attacked is dead.

So all in all they are peaceful if you are peaceful and are wild if you are wild. And as I depend my whole life in knowledge of book, even this time I decide to believe in it.

But rather then my full hope of expectation, he rather look at me for a while and then sneer at me?

Is he sneering or roaring or being sarcastic?

Okay am I going crazy, but Iam not shaking in fear or passing out cold in the ground like I expect myself to be rather I look at him shock and amazed.

And also, neither is he going away or attacking me like I expect him to be. So what are we doing? He is not planning on where he will start eating me first from, is he?

I look at the beast in front of me sceptically while looking around for any route out but as expected seeing none.

But just as my fear was rising, the beast sit down. But that not the main part, he sit down in a yoga posture; his feet folded in neatly, while his hand respectfully kept by his side, not to scare me? Or maybe not?

Nonetheless that posture on him got me shivering in temptation as not to laugh out loud and got eaten here and now. Okay why does a beast or better yet a monster who everyone fear is looking so shy and peacefull seating in that posture?

Have I really went crazy, laughing to myself when my death is knocking right at my door.

But nonetheless, I also looks at him letting out a little laugh here and there, still in my fallen position.

While I do that he look at my basket which has meat; from now and then, so I push the opened basket forward.

While he gladly pull the basket to his side and start to eat, and I was hoping this will distract him for a while, so that I can find a chance to run away.

But before I can even let out a breath he look up at me again.

And this time he look much much more primal and wild, gnawing away at the red meat. And this means he look so much more scarier than he had looked before, so I flinched back unknowingly which he seems to notice.

But before I can be sure of anything he turn down his head and start to tear the thick meat into many many smaller pieces. I was looking at him wondering what he is doing but soon understood, as he finish tearing the meat into bite size.

He take all the tear up pieces and put it in his palm and forward it to me.

And my only though was, a gentleman beast?

Is he really offering me food right now, is that it?

Weirdly sweet? Weird? Scary? Scared? Shocking?

Oh yes I feel all of it, but like I said before Iam too scared to do anything. So I just remain in my freeze up condition.

While the beast definitely look a bit disappointed and kind of whimper, that is if Iam still sane.

He take back his forwarded hand in a while seeing as Iam not making any kind of action to take it from him.

But nonetheless he search through the basket again and brought out the peach I brought for me to eat.

And again even this time, he forward his hand with the peach. Okay now Iam sure it is indeed offering, I guess they do really are little like human even in this form.

But despite understanding that, I still remain frozen, while he come closer and closer to me with his hand still outstretched. Unwilling for him to come any closer, I quickly take the peach from his hand and sit back a little inching closer and closer to the wall. Nearly becoming one with the wall by now.

Anyway I quickly munch on the peach, not even aware of what Iam doing while the beast look at me looking very interested and focused.

After I eat it, I went back to my frozen state while the beast also just stare at me.

And yes, to make it all better, it is beginning to get dark by now, and the weather becoming colder and colder making me shiver a little from now and then.

And even this time a gentle breeze hit me again like it had been doing from before, but even this, make me shiver in cold. When I did that, the beast quickly stand up and come closer to me, making me quickly shut my eye and stay still.

I swear in my mind Iam sprinting by now, running as fast as my feet could take me. But my body, surely not.

While I shut my eyes tightly and wait for a type of pain, I feel a small nudge by the backside of his paw, making me slowly but surely open my eye; one after another.

And when I did, the beast was right in front of me, making me flinch back again. But this time, he come closer and pull at my arm with the sleeve of the blouse Iam wearing.

I look at him with my eye opened widely, scared that finally he was going to start eating me, first by my arms.

But that fear also past quickly as he just keep on pulling me with my sleeve, definitely not eating me.

He keep on pulling so I stand up in that direction. And yes he stop, as I do that. Rather this time he went behind my back and nudge me from my back, forward, so this time as well with a scary sigh I start to walk moving forward as he push me; confused as ever.

But slowly slowly I understand what he is doing as he walk behind me all the way to the opening of the forest I made, and when I reach the small paved road that will lead me home, he stop.

And when I turn back he howl a loud howl and then run back towards the forest, while I stare in amazement for a while at his back and then also run back home myself still scared out of my mind.

And with the scary thought in mind of wondering how he know about that secret opening I made?