BLAMELESS SORROWS

7. Tama

Axel's Point Of View.

Still 15 years old.

The monster or the animal, or I don't know exactly what it is but it come sprinting at us in full speed.

So I quickly pick up Tilbe and make a run for it, shouting for help at the same time.

But me quickly getting up and picking Tilbe up and running must have shock her, cause before even seeing the beast she start shivering in fear.

Axel: Little one, please close your eyes for me and open them only when I ask you to okay?

She nod while whimpering. And quickly shut her eyes.

Tilbe: Axel, what's happening? Why are we running?

I tried my best to keep her calm and answer to her but to no avail. I keep on shouting and trying to run back to the palace to get shelter. But my small body and carrying someone don't help.

And above all, the fact that we are at the most secluded area of the palace also doesn't help. But I don't give up, even when my heart hurt with all the running and my mouth dries with all the shouting, I don't stop and keep on running.

But shortly after a while of running, I feel something harshly grab me and flung me backward, making me let go of Tilbe due to the force in which Iam pulled back. I drop Tilbe who rolled down and hit herself pretty harshly on a rock, but I could hardly watch out for her as I hit a tree behind me hardly which knock my breath out for a while.

Pain fills all over my body, and my head feel dizzy while my breath short. But seeing the beast stalk towards Tilbe, I still tried my best to went towards her and get her away.

I get up again, stumbling and fumbling like a baby unable to walk. So I tried my best to guide Tilbe.

Axel: Tilbe, open your eyes and get up and quickly run towards home.

When I shout that she quickly did as I said and get up to run, but not even one step out and she is s***h by the beast in her arm making her scream out in pain and fall down quickly.

Seeing this, with unknown energy I ran towards her and this time quickly take her away from another one of the beast attack. I tried to run again, but I know I won't be able to outrun it.

Axel: Tilbe, quickly grow trees around us okay?

She fearfully nods but within seconds trees started growing around us, but before it become too big the beast got in too, so I roll her towards one corner as gentle as possible.

Axel: Quickly now, cover yourself with the trees.

As she heard that, she start to grow tree everywhere around her while I do my best to distract the beast which is getting me nowhere.

The beast this time attack me, slashing my thigh making me groan in pain. While I was groaning, I heard Tilbe scream; she must have seen my injury.

And in just a moment, between me and the beast huge, huge tree start to form covering both me and the beast on one side each.

I got caged and the beast too, but unlike me; the beast got out scratching and pulling out everything that is in its way, scaring me to my core.

And within a few minutes it is out of the tree caged, but unlike what I hope for; instead of attacking me again, it went off towards where Tilbe is making my heart stop.

Axel: No, no, no. Stop, stop! Come my way, this way.

I shout at my highest voice but with no avail. I tried to scratch my way out of the tree barrier but I couldn't. I was too weak, my hands were bleeding none stop by then, but not even one tree break down.

But on the other side, the beast has reach Tilbe and has destroyed the little tree cage she has made reaching her by now.

Axel(shouting) : Tilbe run, and surround yourself with as much tree as possible.

I keep on shouting but unlike last time, she does not listen to me this time. And as I look at her more clearly, she seems dizzy and look as if she is losing her conciousness making my heart beat in fear.

Axel(shouting) : Tilbe, listen to me and please shield yourself. Little gift, please listen to me, listen here please.

I keep on shouting and pull, push and kick at the trees as much as I can, trying everything for me to get out but coming up with none. And during this time, the beast grab Tilbe and bite her just below her neck.

She scream out in complete pain and start to struggle against its hold while I look in horror completely frozen.

But in just second, I was broken out of my frozen state by Tilbe's scream. I start to struggle again, tears streaming down my eye, sweat everywhere shivering in fear.

Axel(shouting): Let her go, Tilbe! Oh my god! Tilbe! Someone help, someone please help. Help! Please help!

I scream and scream and finally the beast let her go, making me sigh a bit in relief. But that did not last long as he bite her by her shoulder again making her scream out once more. And this time it flung her away towards where Iam am, making her land with a thud just besides me.

I greedily push out my hand at the little gaps of the trees and drag her to me while she wince and heave in pain.

Tilbe: Ax, Axe.....l..

Axel: Yes, yes Iam here. Talk to me, Iam right here.

I clutch her hand to mine tightly, trying to keep her as close to me as possible.

Axel: Little gift, please stay awake for me okay?

Tilbe(shouting) : Ahh!!!!

She scream in pain once again, while I shutter in fright, not knowing what to do other than crying and shivering in fear.

Axel: Tilbe, please... please ...

I don't know what Iam asking for anymore, I don't even know what I have to do for it all to be okay again.

Tilbe: Ax... It hurt, it hurt so muc..., I ... I.. hurt...

Just as I was about to answer her, she scream out in complete pain again, and I realise the beast is trying to drag her away by her feet. I cling on to her tightly, not willing to let her go again. While the beast growl fiercely seeing as something is stoping him.

And then and there a thought came into my mind, that if I can; if only I can, I will do anything to be able to kill the beast, tearing it from limb to limb.

I hate it, I hate it so much, only because of it, Tilbe is crying is pain. Only because of it, Tilbe is slipping away from me every second.

I hate it, God I hate it. If only I can, then I will surely kill it in the worst way possible. Rage and hatred filled my heart at that moment with Tilbe scream ringing at the back of my mind.

And that is when I feel it, a part of me leaving my body in just a blink and going to the beast. And just like I had wished for, I strangle the beast making it growl in pain and stumble back away from Tilbe.

The beats contort in pain, while convulsing in unbearable t*****e. I don't know how Iam doing it, or how I feel like Iam inside the beast but at the same time Iam where my body is.

But at that time, I did cause the beast so much pain that it can even stop such a strong creature but most of all it can stop it from hurting Tilbe more.

I strangle him more and more, his breath feeling short at this point and that is when Uncle Jo, Grandpa and others arrive.

Grandpa rush towards me while looking at both the beast and me at shock while Uncle Jo quickly rush up to Tilbe.

Grandpa: Axel, my boy come back. Let him be, come back here.

He keep on shouting, while I look at him confuse. But Iam here.

Axel: Grandpa, what is going on? Why do I feel like Iam there too.

Grandpa: That is your Tama, bring it back here or you will kill him. Quickly.

I was about to listen to him, but then I remember, it hurt Tilbe.

Axel: But, it hurt Tilbe. It deserve to die!

And when I said that the pain in the beast intensified as it howl more and more.

Grandpa: Tilbe, yes Tilbe!

With that Grandpa quickly take Tilbe from Uncle Jo and bring her to me.

Grandpa: We need to treat her okay, so bring your Tama back quickly. The quicker you do, the quicker Tilbe will be fine. Jo sedate it!

I look at Grandpa in confusion, cause I don't know how to take my Tama back. And Tilbe do need treatment quickly.

And during that time, Uncle Jo inject something to the beast making it go limp and unconcious. But that did not stop it from writhing in pain.

Grandpa: You will kill him, quickly take the Tama back Axel.

Axel( freaking out): I don't know how to.

Grandpa: You need to let go of the want to kill him, then he will be fine again.

I look at Grandpa and then at the beast and then at the crying Tilbe and my rage just keep on increasing. I want to kill it more and more. It's all because of it!

Grandpa: Axel, calm down. You are making it worse, come on boy look at me. I know it's hard but I swear it's for the better, please calm down. Let take both you and Tilbe to treatment alright? Come on, come back here. Tilbe, look at Tilbe okay?

Hearing him, I look down at Tilbe but this time she is looking at me too, her eyes open wide with the familiar innocence swirling around it.

Tilbe: Axel.. let.. go home. It hurt, so let.s.. hurry home.. alright?. Let the beast be, let..s go.. home.

And that was it, I become calm again, and there and then I feel a part of me returned to me again. The beast can wait, Tilbe come first, her pain should be treated first and should be the first priority.

So, with that the beast stop whimpering while I feel a bit peaceful again. While grandpa bring away the cage like tree around me, Uncle Jo pick me up, as Iam unable to walk due to my injured foot.

He wiped away my tears gently and then we went home. But I also learn later, that this was not the worst moment of the day as there are worst news waiting for me.

But for that time, innocently not knowing what I have done, or not even knowing what I have uncover, I peacefully fall under the lure of unconciousness, so thankful and grateful that grandpa is here now, so confident that Tilbe will be alright now, with that peace I lose my consciousness.

The next time I wake up, Iam already in my room warmly tug in. But when I tried to move, I feel a weight on my right hand and when I look it's Tilbe, laid next to me tightly holding my hand.

I look at her sleeping peacefully but looking so weak and pale. Her entire neck is covered with bandages. But at least, she is fine now and is not screaming in pain.

I slowly tried to take her hands away from me but to no avail. She is holding on to me in a death grip and if I move more than this I will wake her up.

So not having a choice, I just laid back down again, hoping one way or other my thirst will be gone.

But luckily for me, while I was thinking that Uncle Jo and Grandpa came in.

My eyes light up like a Christmas tree finally seeing my salvation.

So I quickly ask Uncle Jo for a cup of water, which he thankfully get me in a jiffy.

I greedily drank all of it with a satisfied sigh.

Grandpa: How are you holding up pal, is it hurting anywhere?

I shake my head in denial.

Axel: I only hurt myself a little anyway. But how is Tilbe, is she okay?

Grandpa: You hurt yourself pretty badly and yes, Tilbe is fine. Vann come a few hours back and heal the both of you but since his power is not mastered yet, there might still be some wound not healed properly.

Oh that explain why my tattered hand is okay now and scar less. While my leg hurt a little if I move, but thats about it. He must be good at what he does.

I got to know he is a healer when once Tilbe fell down and in a minute he heal her, but then again I was not there with them. I was looking at them through my room's window with grandpa.

And that is why, grandpa told me that easily cause in Iklu one's power is not given out openly like this.

And even though Grandpa know of everyone power, he don't share if it's not necessary.

Grandpa: You have many questions, don't you?

I nod my head, first off what is the energy that I feel, and how was I able to give the beast that much pain while Iam doing nothing.But that has to wait a little.

Axel: Shouldn't we talk somewhere else, Tilbe may wake up.

When I said that both Uncle Jo and Grandpa shake their head.

Uncle Jo: She won't wake up and besides she won't let go. I have been trying to let her hand loosened since we reach here but her grip won't move an inch even when forced. She nearly attack me unconsciously, thats why I leave it be. Anyway she is heavily medicated, so it's highly likely she wont wake up.

I nod my head while unconsciously holding her hand tighter.

Grandpa: You remember I told you that your Tama is attacking him?

I nod my head, I did hear grandpa saying that.

Axel: What's a Tama.

Grandpa: Listen to grandpa carefully and don't worry about anything else. And always remember that all of us are here with you okay?

I have a bad feeling about this, with grandpa's tone, I guess it's something bad. But as not ready as I was, I nod my head nonetheless.

Grandpa: Like you get your eye of truth from your mom, you seems to get the Tama from your dad.

I look at Grandpa confused.

Axel: But isn't dad just a normal person with no power.

Grandpa nod when I said that.

Grandpa: Tama is not a power rather it's a trademark that been with the Rafa's since time immemorial. But the Tama has not been seen in about three generation of your family, so everyone thought it's gone by now but I guess it's not.

I look at Grandpa expecting him to explain more on it, cause I hardly understand nothing.

Grandpa: A Tama is something that is in your blood, it's like an energy. And that energy will attack on people when you so as feel that you hate them or you are envious of them. But if your feeling, might that be hate, or jealously is not that strong you can control your Tama on whether it will attack or not. But when you lose control of your feeling and it become extreme then you will lose control of your Tama as well and attack the person you hate even when you don't want to.

I look at Grandpa with my eye wide open, shock and unable to swallow in the information. But he continue on.

Grandpa: Tama are said to awaken if someone feel so much hatred towards someone else. Like you feel towards him, the beast. And that hatred awaken your Tama that is hidden for forever, and you attack him without control cause your hatred was out of control.

I nod listening to Grandpa, but not exactly comprehending everything.

Grandpa(gently) : But that is not the worst part.

Of course!

I look up at grandpa expecting him to continue once again.

Grandpa: Your Tama will attack the people who you love as well. If you love someone so so much or too much then the Tama will attack that person as well.

I look up completely shock and scared.

Axel(shaking voice): Then Tilbe!

Grandpa shake his head in denial.

Grandpa: The Tama don't attack at someone who is your family or share the same blood as you. So me, Uncle Jo and Tilbe are safe. But glad to know you only think of Tilbe when I said that, Iam hurt my boy.

I take a sigh of relieve while at the same time glaring at Grandpa, how can he joke around now.

Grandpa: Okay okay, enough with the glare. But there is one more thing, the person you will love in the future will get hurt too and only a marriage can stop the pain.

I sigh once more, not able to comprehend and not having the ability to worry about my future when I don't have the strength to take care of my present.

Axel: Then, what about the other people in the castle, will they get hurt too because of me?

Grandpa nod slowly.

Grandpa: If you feel envious of them or you grow to hate them or you love them, then yes they will get hurt too.

I breath in all the air I could, breathing seems so hard right now.

Axel: Am I a monster now, who should never get close to anyone?

I mean Iam just a human, I will feel envious sometimes, I will be mad and hate people sometimes, while naturally I will also love the people there with me. How can I just become a blank space like that. How do I control my emotion so that I won't feel, I don't know how to do that.

Grandpa: No, it's not like that Axel. We can make this work. You are not a monster, you are not. Your Tama can be controlled, with time it can be. And all of us are here to help you through it.

I shake my head in denial at that, even if all of them want to help, how can they help me in controlling my emotion when I myself don't know how to.

Axel: Grandpa, before I hurt anyone else, shall we just lock me up in a dark place where no one can reach. Nothing will happen if I don't meet anyone right?

Both Grandpa and Uncle Jo look at me shock when I said that, but before they can say anything we hear Tilbe crying loudly making all of us shift our attention.