Apparition

Chapter # 17

Day. Night. Day. Night. Day. Night.

That's what left in my life; to spend my moments with a torment fright in my soul which is breaking me apart. To stay here for as long as he wants and become a victim of his deviant seduction which somehow evoked unnerving tribulations in me which are clouding my mind in temptation. I know if I stay here for any longer I will lose my sanity too- what else is left anyways... I don't know if I am here for how long. Day comes, Day goes, Night comes, Night goes. Nothing more, Nothing less. Just like a loop of darkness which leads to darkness leaving no place for redemption.

I feel like a corpse. I am in my coffin. Waiting desperately for my burial. But, It's not going to happen until he wants. I am a puppet whose strings are attached to him. He can control me the way he wants. And I can't do a single thing to save myself from this affliction. I want to cry at my misery but, I can't, I don't have enough strength left in me. My eyes dried out due to countless tears I have shed for my anguish.

I just laid on the mattress like a lifeless doll, breaking slowly and painfully as my strength is leaving my body by each passing second. But, he wont let me die that easily, he will indulge in every emotion he will draw out from me, taking pleasure out of it while breaking me apart. And especially that gaze of affection which left me bewildered about whether it’s real or just a mere show of my devastation; he is a devil, what can I expect?

Every Night, he came back and leaned on the wall and looked out of the window, staring into nothing, wondering about what he wanted to know. He just simply looked at the stained glass while I lay on the mattress devoid of any emotions, staring at his pleasing feature.

Just like everyday, I looked at him. He was looking out of the window, his arms cross at his chest leaning on the wall and staring deep into the glass. I wonder whether he looks outside; what's on the other side or look at the atrocious work. A strange glimmering light penetrated through the glass, casting a shadow on his face. The strange light enhanced his features more. His eyes that are completely lost in the work, shine with a hint of anger and sadness. Like he is trying to understand something which is beyond his comprehension. I continued to look at him while he looked at the glass window.

"What are you trying to apprehend?" I asked.

"Caprice." He replied, not looking at me. "For what?"

"That's what I want to know as well." He sighed. "Desire is an emotion as well." I mumbled. "It's a need."

"Fulfill it then"

"Let me." My heart stopped by hearing it. I gulped and blinked a few times. "Let you what?" I asked hesitantly. "To claim you. Possess you." He turned to look at me. My whole being stop, a rapid wave of vagueness rushed in me.

"What's stopping you?" I asked innocently. He narrowed his eyes at me and gave his full attention to me. We both looked at each other for a while. I gave him a look of bewilderment and the same goes for him. I tilt my head to my side and he sighed, turning his head away from me.

I shrugged my shoulders, and continued to look at him. As was looking at him, I felt a sudden pain shot in my stomach, I tried to not pay attention to it but it was very hard. I clutched my stomach tightly and shut my eyes. Tears rolled from the corner of my eyes. I grit my teeth and began to squirm. My writhing movements earned his attention as he turned his head to me. I couldn't hold it in, I began to groan in agony. I curled like a ball and began to cry in pain. I continued to wince in pain. The intensity of pain is unbearable, it’s breaking me apart. "It hurts..Make it stop, please.." I cried.

"What happened?" He asked, concerned about my abrupt agony. "My stomach..." I gasped, burying my face in the sheets, on the verge of crying.

I felt a hand in my hairs, running his hand in my hairs to console me. But, I continued to let out loud gasps to contain myself which was so hard. His hand trailed down to my neck then to my back and turned me so that I could face him. His silver gems blinked looking at me trying to apprehend what happened to me. "Where exactly?" He asked softly. "Can't fathom." I whispered with great difficulty.

His gaze was fixed on me, looking at me cries and whimpers with a glint of sorrow and pain like he is also hurt. He was staggered by this. His eyes show a hint of hurt and confusion. He looks like he doesn't want me to be hurt; even though he is the one who hurt me the most. A look of burning passion for me, that I deny from the bottom of my heart. A look of adoration, like he is lost in his own hatred just to fight the urge to show what he truly felt; which truly terrorizes me. "I can't take it."

My cheeks glisten with tears. He continued to study me with his menacing gaze; which was not menacing at all, but to me it was. It scares me to just think about it. His one hand held my back firmly while his other hand wiped my tears. My quivering lips tried to plead for him to stop this pain, but, He is lost in his own world. "Please..."

"I will... Just don't cry." He whispered, leaning close to my face. My teary eyes lowered their gaze. His looks are scaring me.

His hand trailed from my cheek to my jawline then to my neck. I convulsed under his touch. I shivered when he made contact with my neck. His hand then traveled to my stomach. He lifted my petticoat a little and began to trace his fingers in my stomach. He pressed his thumb above my belly button. An intense pain reached my every nerve. I screamed from the agonizing suffering.

"It's going to be alright. It will fade away." His voice was so promising and at that time, All I could do is to put my trust on him. He pulled me close. His hand held my back; pulling me in his embrace. His other hand applied more pressure there. I screamed loudly. Tears flowed from my eyes without any control over them. I put my head on his shoulder as I clutched his shirt tightly. His lips brush against my ear.

"Shh... It’s okay, Mary." He whispered softly. My grip tightened as I bit my cheeks to not to cry. “It hurts..” I whispered back, holding him close. “Please make it stop.” I begged, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

“I will.. don’t worry.” He said in a gentle tone. I shivered violently at his voice. I continued to whimper in his embrace. I screamed loudly again when his finger went deeper as if it stabbed me.

“It hurts!” I screamed, crying out loud as tears rolled down showing my pain.

“Shh.. It will fade away soon.” He said in a low tone, rubbing my back. My tears soaked his shoulder as I continued to let out the screams of anguish. I bit his shoulder to muffle my eyes. I felt his gaze upon me but I bit it harder to do something about the pain.

“It’s okay.. Take it out.” He whispered. I let out muffled cries, biting his shoulder harshly. Blood began to flow out from my stomach, I could feel the vicious liquid streaming down to my legs. My piercing cries didn't affect him as he put his hand deeper in my stomach. My face is a crying mess. Death is far better than this hellish nightmare, it hurts a lot.

“Just a little, wait.” He continued to hush me in a soft tone. He tried to console me in a way like the one who is hurting is him, not me and he wanted to put a halt to my cries, wanting to end the reason of my cries. Like, he is being hurt, just because I am hurting. His other hand began to rubbed my back gently; trying to calm me down, which is apparently impossible. I sobbed loudly and denied that irrefutable reality I knew but didn't want to believe. I whined and feel like being crushed under the weight of this extreme distress. I thought this suffering would never end. I'll be tormented again and again. He'll continue to break me with his merciless demeanour. I'll be trapped in this nightmare ruled by his cruelty forever. He'll break me in the worst way possible. Luring me in his trap and turning me oblivious to the things around; taking my sanity. "Almost... Don't cry. Nothing can harm you." His words were so persuading as I want to get lost in his empty assurance.

His hand went deeper while he continued to soothe me. But after a tormenting moment, his hand stopped. That instant, Everything stopped. Everything calmed down, The pain, his presence; everything. This gave me a horrific sensation, the feeling of lull before a terrific storm; which destroys everything; the peace before chaos. A shiver went down at the sudden harmony.

But that instant doesn't last any longer than a second as he lets go of me and I fall on the mattress, blood flowing out of me. I was submerged in that physical distress but I couldn't move or speak. My eyes widened for a second when I saw a centipede in his bloodied hand. A horror stricken shiver emerges from my frightened form. I was consumed by the terror before me.

Was It Inside of Me?

"I will look after your body." Before my mind could comprehend any further; my vision blurred. I lost my strength as I felt my life slipping away from me but it’s far better than this hell, death sounds heaven to me. I felt a feeling of solace rushed through me; a feeling of being liberated from this hell. A moment of freedom which doesn't last any longer than my deep slumber but, It's treasured for me because I have died for that moment of reprieve from chaos, to enjoy a short-lived pacification from every harm. I let that darkness take me away from this tribulation. And I lost myself in that fleeting happiness. I smiled faintly, finally feeling the freedom I gained from endless and intolerable suffering. My mind went blank as I lost my senses, falling into a deep slumber of heavenly peace....

..or I thought so...