Broken Butterflies

Jordan was someone extremely special to me. He was the boy I always looked at from afar. He was my guilty pleasure. To be real, he was my first love. But he never knew about it. On a Monday morning, sitting next to Sally, I knew that something was up. She wasn't energetic anymore and was biting the hell out of her acrylic nails. "What's up, Sal? Are you okay?" I knew that she was lying when she shook her head, saying that everything was normal. By then, she was wiping the blood off her right middle finger. I asked her if she knew that she could tell me anything, anytime. I could never get mad at her. She told me that there was nothing to say anyway, so there's no problem but she knew that she could trust me with anything. The unsure sound of her voice betrayed her still face. I nodded and kept quiet for the rest of the class. This is what she wanted but she never put words to it. I got used to it over the years. I threw a glance at Jordan who was flirting with a girl next to him, being thirsty AF. I knew that she would walk back to her friends and laugh and chuckle out of delight. That was what they always did after talking to Jordan Starr. I wasn't being jealous, I was only stating facts every single time I called a girl thirsty for flirting with Jordan. Not that Jordan knew it, but he was mine. After class, I stood up and walked out immediately, Sally shooting looks that had mixed expressions. I walked to the stoner spot behind the east block of the school. It was where all the cool kids hung out, but also where a certain someone very special to me was. Yes, you guessed it. That special someone is Jordan Starr. "Hey, Jordan." I hoped I didn't sound thirsty just like all those girls he talked to every single day. "What up, Lucas? I didn't know that you hang out here.' His expression wasn't showing anything that I would get excited for. And believe me, I get excited for pretty much everything. "Yeah, I just came here. Like this exact place. It seems nice, though. I think I'm gonna stick to it if that's fine with you." Now, I hoped that I sounded a bit more thirsty than I was at the beginning. "Yeah, well, I guess I'll be seeing you around. I'm just gonna go talk to Layla right there." I was mildly disappointed by how the conversation went, but it could've gone worse, right? He could've called me out for being a total creep and talking to him in the middle of nowhere. More precisely, the east block. If Sally were here, she would've educated me differently. She would've given me a full course just to teach me how to say hi to him. But first, of course, I'd have to tell her that Jordan was basically the love of my life. And that was a whole topic I didn't want to get into. I glanced around the stoner place. Nobody worth talking to. I mean, I could make some new friends, but as long as I still have Sally, I have everything I need. Except for a boyfriend. I've had one boyfriend in my entire life and even then we had a long-distance relationship. After that relationship, I went through a series of serious crashes but the feelings were never mutual. But don't feel sorry for me. Because even I will find somebody to love. Someday. Even if that day is not even close to being now. I opened my phone and I saw that Sally was typing. I waited for a minute or two. Then I waited for five, then ten minutes. After fifteen minutes, I got worried, so I asked her if she was okay. A simple Yes did it. It convinced me that something was wrong. I clicked on the phone button and dialed my best friend who was close to a mental breakdown. This was a mistake I would soon end up regretting. But better safe than sorry, right? I shot another glance at Jordan who still didn't move on from Layla and another girl, who was eating him up with their eyes. Sally's brother used to call these kinds of people by a special name but I can't recall it. Another glance at Jordan but before my brain processed his change of position, a person came to the east block. Sally. I walked up to her and smiled. She smiled back, making a peace sign. There were three things wrong with her doing it. First off, her nails were almost gone. Secondly, she wasn't actually happy which brings us to the third point. She wasn't high. Yet... "Hey, Lucas. Listen, I think that there's something I have to tell you." Her voice was now giving away the vibes I was only mildly sensing from her direction all day long. "Sure. I knew that something was bugging you all day long... What is it?" I tried to act as chill as possible. She lied to me, about being okay. That was something we never did. Lied to each other. "Well, I don't know how to put this into words, but--" Her face shifted from worry less to worry fully. And that wasn't something anybody liked looking at. I smiled and looked around us. By now, most people were at least paying the slightest bit of attention to us. Jordan smiled in my direction and I smiled back. He started walking towards me, and even though I hoped that the barriers between us were finally broken, I knew that something was wrong. My life couldn't just be a normal, stable love story. And my gut was right, like always. As Jordan walked up to me, he smiled at me, took two more steps forward, hugged Shelley and kissed her. On the mouth.