Lycan’s Kiss — Bending not breaking

Call back…or ‘When in New Orleans’

Elodie

I’m seething. The rage inside me has been building for the last two weeks. But I kept my mouth shut. This morning though… oh, I just couldn’t. He’s the reason for bleeding feet, sore muscles, and a few bruised ribs, but I will not let him talk to me like that.

‘…Lose the will to put in good old-fashioned work.’ Tssss. That man seriously needs to pull his head out of his a**. What I hate most, though, is that the dark thoughts are coming back thanks to him. I want to scratch myself bloody and fight off the urge to pick my nails. The urge to numb the voice screaming at me to hurt him. Before, that voice was all about me hurting myself… now it wants him to suffer.

When I arrived in Haiti and the potion that Serena, Nael and Maeve’s witch friend had given me to turn off my empathic abilities, to get some rest from the people around me mourning my mate, I had to find a new way of numbing the feelings… and that voice that had grown incredibly loud. And I did. Not of the legal or safe kind.

Month four in Haiti, and I was an open wound. I couldn’t leave my room, and my colleagues were really worried. Finally, one of the guys I confided in a little more said he had something he wanted me to try. By then, I was so desperate I took what he gave me. I had no idea I’d be hooked on those pills for over a year. And that that addiction would lead me to the two people solely responsible for me making it this far and not giving up…. For getting clean in the first place. Because let me tell you…Haze is no joke.

My hands shake as I leave the cafeteria with Cole, and I don’t really register that he’s talking to me until he stops and grabs my hand looking at me quizzically.

“Did you hear anything of what I just said?”

“I…No. Sorry, Cole, I was distracted. First time sparing today, so I’m kind of nervous.” Good safe. That’s why I’m nervous. Not because your obnoxious second in command is putting me on edge.

“Oh…Don’t be. I know you got this. Want me to come and cheer you on?” And his big puppy eyes make me want to say yes. He got this surfer-boy look down with the hair and the pretty blue eyes. He even has the smolder he tries on me right now.

“No. But thank you. That would only make me more nervous.”, I smile at him.” What did you say when I was freaking out? Something important?”

“I…just asked if you would go on a date with me… like an actual date.”

OK. I knew this would come. And I kind of thought I would be more excited about this… I’m just exhausted and can’t really think all that clearly right now.

‘We are excited!! Say yes!’

‘We are not going on another Alpha craze. Remember what happened with Nael.’

Ira is instantly silenced. Yeah, her leading me to chase after a man my gut told me wasn’t right, and she knew wasn’t my mate, strained our relationship for a little bit. She later tried to explain it away with our bond as triplets. That since he was Maeve’s mate, we felt an attachment to him as well…. don’t know what I think about that. That would mean Theo had those feelings as well, and I saw him kick Nael in the back of the knee and push him face first into a mud puddle during a touch football game he and his friend instigated to scar our sister's mate off… or put him through a weird test…? No idea what the end game was. Just happy they didn’t do that to Jordan. Because I’m not Maeve and would not have signed up to play as well and be thrown (!) across the field for a touchdown. At least back then, I wouldn’t. Sh**… I’m getting sidetracked again.

“I—-Can I think about it? It’s not a no just….maybe next week..or the week after?”

Cole’s face, which fell a little at my first question, brightens again.

“Sure. Let’s make it Saturday in two weeks. I have the perfect plan.” And I can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

“Great.”, I give the hand he’s still clutching a tug, and when he doesn’t let go, I squeeze once. “I have to go get to the morning drill. Thanks for making my day.” After another broad smile, he lets go of my hand, and I trot down the path to the training field. I don’t feel ready for this at all. I… I need…. There are only one of two people I really want to talk to right now. So I fumble my phone out of the sown in pocket of my leggings. When I hear the dial tone, I let out a shaky breath.

There’s a click, and the call connects.

“Amirti! Hey, B, get your a** over here." I hear a loud sound and just know the person on the other side must have slapped a table or stomped her foot. "Our girl is calling.” The smooth voice and the honest excitement in it almost make me want to cry.

“Hey, Noor.”

::::::::::::::

Two years ago

The stroboscopic lights will give me a headache, and the smell of smoke and alcohol is slowly but surely soaking into my clothes. I should have picked a better spot than the back hall of a nightclub to meet my dealer. Seriously. Who does that? Oh, do I hear you say: an addict? Because that would be correct. I need my next fix. The voices are getting too loud again, and the fact that I know how much the bouncer's tooth hurts and that the bartender is a closeted gay man who has a thing for one of the servers tells me I need it fast.

“Ah, there she is.”

A hand slams onto my butt in the dress that could be cleaner but is really all I had. I spent my last money on the fix I got two nights ago—nothing left for a room or to wash my clothes. Spike doesn’t care, though. And I have gotten used to him feeling me up over the almost ten months I have been in New Orleans now. Hunter hooked me up when we were still working in Haiti… the only reason I came here. Well, not the only one. Dead mate and overbearing family also had kind of to do with it.

“Hey..I…I need something. Two, maybe three. I will pay you back tomorrow…..you know I’m good for it.” Funny how you even start talking like a drug addict. Is there a handbook…or a dictionary of common phrases to use when trying to get drugs from your dealer that you don’t have the money for?

“You know I don’t work like that, sweetheart. But…”

And I feel him caress me again. “We could work out another form of payment. Right here. And you could go home with these pills you so desperately want.”

His warm breath is fanning my face, and I turn away. Halitosis is no joke.

“I…No, thank you. I will just see that I …get the money and call you again when I—-

A big hand suddenly closes around my neck.

“See, that don’t work for me... I came all the way out here for you. Now you not buy’n nothing and I’m not getting any? Na uh.”

He presses onto my shoulder, his one hand still firmly wrapped around my neck. My back is scraping against the wall that is covered in something sticky and gross as he tries to push me to my knees. I can see where this is going and fight to stand up as long as possible.

“Quit trying to play coy. All you junkie wh**es do this at some point… even the ones as pretty as you.”

When he starts unzipping his pants with one hand while still pushing my head down, my knees buckling and hands scratching as his hold around my neck, I feel a little vomit make its way up my throat. How did I get here? How did the med student with the bright future turn into a good doctor who then loses herself because she lost her mate?

The moment I make peace with this..this f**ked up mess I now apparently call life, I swear I see something move behind the guy's shoulder.

“Excuse me.”

Spike jumps and lets go of my neck. Scrambling to the side, I pant and wheeze, trying to collect myself and make up for oxygen lost thanks to the man's hands wrapped around my throat.

Looking up, my eyes meet two women standing on the other side of the hall. And their height difference would be almost comical if this wasn’t one of the worst nights of my life.

“Jesus… Don’t you girls see I’m busy?”

“Well, didn’t sound like she wanted to be ‘busy’ with you? You OK, amirti? “

I just nod and then shake my head… and then nod again.

“She’s confused. Drugs. Now f**k off.”

Spike is pissed, and the threatening steps he takes toward the two would have made me shrivel and dug away. But the tiny woman just pushes back her mass of bouncy dark curls and laughs.

“Oh no, no, no. My mama raised me better than to talk to others like that.”

She takes a step toward him. “Ask again….Nicely. And maybe one of us would be up to… get busy. Let’s not waste a nice evening on a nasty dispute like this.”

Adjusting her dress, the dealer's eyes zero in on her impressive cleavage. Then his gaze snaps to the taller one, who gives a sultry smile and pulls open the waterfall-like collar of her blouse. Her hand dropping to her side, caressing her belt.

“MMmhhh… I could get ——What the—-

“Not the nasty word again. Seriously. We need to wash your mouth out with soap if you go on like this.”

My eyes wide, I stare at the butterfly knife I didn’t even see come out, which is now pressed against the guy's throat. The Amazonian almost looks scary, all sultry and allure gone from her gaze. Her long hair straight back in a ponytail, and her eyes such a bright cerulean they almost seem to glow in the dark. Her short friend is doing all the talking.

“So. We are gonna have us a chat now, huh? If my friend here or I ever see you near her or another woman in this club, no this part of town ever again, we’re going to cut off what you so proudly call your balls. Got it.”

Spike nods profusely after another push of the knife.

“Great.”

The tiny one smiles.

“Now apologize to my new friend.”

“I…She wanted drugs and didn’t have anything to pay for them, so I offered…

“And that offer included making an effort to get her on her knees by force? Thought she might get lost on the way?“ It is the first time the other one talks, and something about her voice doesn’t seem right. Too raspy, too quiet. If I wasn’t a shiver, I wouldn’t have been able to hear half of that over the noise on here.

“No I—-

“She could have just followed the stank of your junk. So my guess is she wasn’t too enthusiastic about the pills any longer after she got offered slong in return, huh? And you thought the nice little head shove might do it… just always puts the girls right in the mood, who doesn’t know that.”

“Oh, f**k you, she’s just a junkie.”

“Again with the potty mouth.” Tiny furrows her brows and then points to a closed door beside me. “Janitors closet by the smell of it.” And pulling the door open, she produces a huge canister of soap. “Now, let’s get to washing. Open wide.”

“You’re crazy b—-

“Shut it.!” The tall one hisses, pulling his head back and enforcing the impact of her knife. Now I see blood trickle down his neck.

“He’s not wrong. I might be a little crazy.”

Winking at me after saying that, she pours a good cup of liquid soap into Spike’s mouth and then closes it for him, the dealer winding and squirming, but the blue-eyed beauty is surprisingly strong. After a minute or so, Spike goes limp because he tried to hold his breath and not swallow the soap.

Knife-Barbie just drops him to the floor, and both step over him in front of me.

“Are you OK?

“I…I think so. I just—-I really want to get out of here. Plus, I need to get my stuff. Didn’t stash it in a very safe place.”

“Where are you staying?” Now the tall one looks almost gentle and understanding.. and I have a hard time wrapping my head around it. The pretty face and long lashes won’t match the blood thirst and cold I saw in her eyes just a second ago.

“I don’t really have a place yet. I’m kind of in between …things.”

“So you’re homeless.” So blunt. Goddess, I miss Theo. Looking at me, she even has his stern wrinkle between the brows now.

“Yes,” I say meekly, blowing out a breath. It’s quiet for a minute. Then the tiny one grabs my hand and pulls me forward past my dealer, who is still passed out on the floor.

“You’re coming with us.”

“I—you heard what he said. I have a lot of … issues I have to work on and—

“And so does everyone else.”, Blue-eyes chimes in. I see the stone on a silver bracelet light up in a pretty purple as she pushes a stray hair from her ponytail out of her face.

“Yes...You’re right, but—

“No but’s. We have the space, and we could use the help. Plus, we need you to get better at selfie defense if you want to survive out there.”

“I’m actually OK at it.”

“OK, isn’t good enough. Might also help you channel some of those feelings you try to get rid of.”

I stare at them both. “How…”

“There aren’t that many reasons why people start taking drugs. And avoiding strong feelings, being overwhelmed with their emotions, with just ‘being’ is on the top of the list.”

I nod quietly, but I stop and turn around as we make our way into the club. Kneeling next to Spike, I turn him to his side into a stable position and tilt his head slightly so his airway is as open as possible.

When I get back up, I see the two of them look at me. “I was—-I am a doctor. Although that feels like it was a lifetime ago.”

“Well then, here is what you’ll be again.” And the shorter one grabs and rubs my hand. “Oh, I’m Noor, by the way. And this gorgeous, badass piece of booty is my friend or almost sister, Blanca. “

Blanca gives me a smile that is so warm and open that it makes my heart skip a little. And I instantly know I misjudged her… and I’m probably not the only one to ever do that.

“I’m Elodie.”

“Nice to meet you, Elodie. Now let’s go before someone comes looking for this gentleman. Plus, we have work to do.”

And work on me we did.