Thorns

On the ground sobbing as the throns prick my skin pore by pore. "Selena!" screamed Lia as she realized that this was the end of my story aka my life. It wasn't though, I woke in the hospital and to make matters worse the physic floor. They should have just buried me cause this is humiliating. The whole school is gonna be judging me now. There is no way I can live this down. I guess I will have to add it to the list of things on my plate. The doctor walks in looking at me all funny and says" I'm Dr. Riley, Its okay to be sacred but you don't have to. I just need to know who you are and what's going on so I know how to proceed with treatment." I don't know what to say cause the truth is a bit too much but the lie doesn't help me. I started to talk but chop chop as I had so many questions and so many things to say. "Is life always going to be this depressing. No one by my side to hear my cries. I see myself withering away from this world as my mother seems to never understand me. My home life wasn't always perfect but it gave me the strength to get up and fight. Each day I got up and saw the struggles in my mother's eyes. This gave me the courage to work hard in school because she deserves the very best. My dad got other women pregnant while my mom was pregnant as well as engaged. He claimed to have loved her but how can you love someone and hurt them so badly. That statement was something I use to say a lot until life dealt me a hand of cards that I couldn't manage. My story is not like Cinderella or Beauty and the beast but it does carry some amount of weight. In my heas it's a fairy tale because I don't believe I went through any of it. Just like any other teenager, I had my own family problems mixed with school. I attended Mail Junior High. It wasn't the best school but it was the only one my mom could afford. I had to take the train to school plus walk a few miles. No one said life was gonna be easy but I thought I would have rough days and good days. However, the sun doesn't seem to shine on me at all. Ever where I go the grey clouds follow me plus the cursed spirit I walk with. Mom had 3 jobs so that we could have somewhere to live. She got fired from being a secretary and the other 2 jobs which were a delivery woman and waitress and so they couldn't cover the bills. I wish I could help but there was nothing I could as no one would hire a 14 year old. If they would then i would have gotten a job because after she lost that job we couldn't pay the landlord and we ended up living in a shed on a farm. Until, she meant Brandon Wilks, he seemed to be a loving man until he started to steal from her and treat her like a slave. He did take care of us but he wanted mommy to clean his shoes, cook for him, clean the house, mow the lawn etc and she didn't want to set that kind of example for me and so she stood up for herself. He didn't like that but he allowed us to stay with him as long as we paid him some money. Money does make the world go around. In his case, he never needed the money because he was rich. Mom didn't really have time for me when they got together and that hurt me because it was gonna be us forever. They would go partying and come home drunk. They acted as if they were teenagers. I found myself all alone because mom kept pushing me away and my friends were just my friends so that they could talk about people's business. Yes, I love to gossip but I am kind hearted and I don't bully people. However, people always seem to like to take advantage of my kind heartedness. I still remain kind because I believe that I should always do what's right. My life isn't easy but that doesn't mean I should treat people the way I feel." When I was done speaking he looked at me as if he was shocked. I know I didn't stop and breathe nor did I look at him while I was speaking as I felt like I would just freeze. He then asked me softly"What are the cards that life has dealt you?". Should I answer him is all I could about because I didn't think anyone was ready to hear my story. When I took awhile to respond he said we will talk about it at our first session. Looked like he started the treatment with sessions as he thinks I'm going through something when the truth is I have been through it and I'm over it. I might just be telling myself this so I can stay strong. It kinda sucks when all you can do is to think of these thoughts in your head instead of talking about how you feel and what has happened to you. He exited the room and I could feel the sadness coming over me. It was always there but it's what puts me to sleep. Yes, I'm one of those persons who cries herself to sleep no need to judge. That's what amma do right now.