Thorns with fragrance

09

"Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever" - Audrey Lorde

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“Why have I never seen you with other people, Jane?” Ken asked, framing his sentence carefully. 

“Well...” Jane started, “When I joined college, Ben pretty much immediately befriended me...I’m glad he did, even though we didn’t always see eye to eye, he was there for me, I would’ve had to survive all alone for a long-time here” she continued. 

Ken’s eyes reflected the sadness from Jane, he had now turned to face her as waited for her to continue. 

Jane was still looking ahead of her, losing her words to her thoughts as she recollected all the times someone had befriended her. 

She took a moment for herself, then cleared her throat and continued “I have never had good luck with friends, I’ve been told that I had groups and groups of friends as a kindergartener and in early elementary school but....those aren’t times I remember well, my memories get clearer from when  I was in middle school and well that’s the time everything started going downhill for me...” she said with a sigh 

“I had become quieter, I wasn’t as confident anymore and to make it worse, early puberty had ruined my face with acne. I excluded myself from everyone else and before I knew it, they started excluding me as well, so when I did want to make friends and have fun with the others, no one wanted me there. All through high school I struggled to try and be part of the class and have anyone speak to me without cringing. I did have a glow up sometime during sophomore year in high school, I started caring about my appearance and treated my skin. It brought me some attention, usually just from the guys who were interested in f*****g me” Jane said with an ironic chuckle  

“I was so deprived of a social life that I snatched anything that was thrown at me. I dated a lot of jerks through high school, they usually broke up with me after they got what they wanted, and again, it took some time for me to get to my senses and stop sleeping with every guy but then it was too late again, I had gained myself the name of a w***e and no one wanted to be seen with me. It was sad, really, I didn’t know how to survive...I got increasingly depressed as the days went by and then finally, in the end of junior year I found some notes and studies my grandfather had done, about photography. He was a genius, with only basic school-based knowledge, he did wonders with his camera. I was inspired, for the first time in my life, I felt passionate about something, I wanted to be able to capture beautiful moments around me and see beauty in everything like he had done. It was amazing, I did all this study and got my uh parents to get me a camera and everything was great...” Jane stopped speaking abruptly, like stopping herself from saying anything more out loud 

“And..?” Ken pushed “What happened after that?” He asked  

“Nothing really. I had a standard Senior year, I quietened and went back to how I was before, just that now I wished I had a camera on me all the time. I wanted to take pictures of anything I found remotely interesting and...yeah, that’s how I spent high school and rushed out of there and into what I actually wanted to do, here in university. I was crazy excited to learn, I was ready to forget everything about high school, I never had a problem with letting people go. ” Jane said with a small smile “I am starting to realise I sound absolutely pathetic” she stated with a soft chuckle 

“It must have been hard, I wish I had joined university a little earlier so we had more time together” he said bitterly “I want to be able to give you so much love that you are able to think back and laugh at your past” he stated firmly making Jane’s eyes widen a little but eventually made her laugh out loud  

“You can be so cute” she said as she sobered down from laughing as Ken sat there grinning 

“Why did you join so late after all?” Jane asked after they shared a moment of silence  

“I was watching myself become a child of divorce, lucky for me I could legally get the f**k out of there when it got overwhelming, so I did” he said simply  

Jane sighed sadly and nodded “I guess we can say we’ve had great lives huh?” she said with a chuckle  

Ken agreed and smiled as he got off the swing and offered his hand to Jane “It’s getting late, let’s leave now, I’ll take you home and deliver your passport for you before going home” he said signalling towards the exit. 

Jane nodded “I would really appreciate that babe” she said with a smile and made Ken’s heart beat faster “Anytime, my love” he said, and in that moment, he truly meant it. 

Jane took Ken’s hand as she got up and they started to walk out of the park when Jane stopped abruptly. 

“Wait wait wait!” she exclaimed as she stopped and pulled Ken back “It would be so ironic if we didn’t take a picture, it’s sad enough that we don’t have one together yet” she said shaking her head as she opened her bag getting her camera out and pulled Ken back to the swings. 

She set up her camera and ran back “Smile, baby” she said, standing next to Ken wrapping her arms around his waist.  

Ken looked at her and gently grabbed her chin and pressed his lips against her’s, Jane barely had time to comprehend this when the camera clicked.  

When Ken smiled and tried to pull away, Jane came to her senses and pulled him back into the kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck and barely left any space between them. 

They stood there, flushed and kissing under the moonlight in front of the swing set, with the wind blowing and no one to bring them back to the real world. 

 It’s true when they say that people fall in love, they do truly fall, some fall into a set of clouds and eventually find the ground, some fall onto the grass and eventually stand up and some fall into a ditch that seems never-ending, it does end for the strong hearted but doesn’t for those weak at heart.  

The beauty of this is that we will know of an experience, whether it's our own or not, that will flood our minds when we read it, because we all do really fall, make of that what you will.