LA: Loyalty or Annihilation

Chapter 7

Shawn's POV

"Kristal, please."

She doesn't stop.

That's the part destroying me.

She doesn't hesitate.

Doesn't look over her shoulder.

Doesn't give me one of those little pauses that says she's hoping I'll find the magical combination of words that'll make everything right.

She just keeps packing.

The second suitcase fills much faster than the first.

Clothes.

Shoes.

Hair products.

Makeup.

Chargers.

Medication.

Anything she knows she'll need for the next few days.

Or weeks.

Fuck.

Maybe forever.

I stand helplessly near the bedroom door while she moves around me like I'm furniture.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere."

"That's not an answer."

"It doesn't need to be."

"Kristal."

She walks into the bathroom.

I follow.

"Would you stop following me?"

"I'm trying to talk to you."

"We've talked."

"You barely said anything."

She spins around.

"And look how much I learned."

That shuts me up.

She grabs her toiletry bag.

Toothbrush.

Face wash.

Perfume.

Her ocean breeze body lotion.

My chest tightens when she tosses it into the bag.

Five years of waking up to that scent.

Five years of finding her hair wrapped around my arm.

Five years of hearing her complain that I stole the comforter.

Five years of—

"Stop."

She looks at me.

The word came from me.

I don't even know what I'm asking her to stop.

Packing?

Leaving?

Making this real?

"Please," I whisper.

Her expression softens.

For half a second.

Just enough to hurt worse.

Then the wall goes back up.

"I can't stay here."

"I'll sleep somewhere else."

"That doesn't change anything."

"I'll give you space."

"You still aren't listening."

She walks past me.

I follow her back into the bedroom.

She closes the toiletry bag and places it inside the suitcase.

"You think this is about needing space from you."

"Isn't it?"

"No."

She zips the second suitcase.

"This is about needing a life without you."

My chest caves in.

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

"No."

"Shawn."

"No!"

My voice cracks through the room.

Kristal goes still.

I run both hands over my face.

"I f****d up."

She says nothing.

"I f****d up badly."

Nothing.

"But that doesn't erase what we had."

Her eyes slowly meet mine.

"What we had?"

"We were happy."

"I was."

The distinction cuts.

"Kristal..."

"I was happy because I didn't know the truth."

I swallow.

"Every happy memory I have with you now comes with an asterisk."

"That's not fair."

Immediately, her face hardens.

Fuck.

"Wrong word."

"Yeah."

She grabs the suitcase handles.

"Definitely the wrong f*****g word."

I reach for one.

"Let me carry that."

"No."

"Kristal."

"I said no."

"I always carry your bags."

Her lips press together.

For one awful second, tears shimmer in her eyes.

Then they're gone.

"You used to."

Used to.

Jesus.

She pulls one suitcase behind her and drags the second with her other hand.

I trail behind her.

"At least let me drive you."

"No."

"It's Los Angeles. You can't just wander around with suitcases."

"I have a phone."

"Where are you staying?"

"I don't know yet."

"Then stay here until you figure it out."

"No."

"Kristal, be reasonable."

She stops so suddenly I nearly run into her.

Slowly, she turns.

"Reasonable?"

"That's not—"

"Shawn, I am being unbelievably f*****g reasonable."

She's right.

She hasn't broken anything.

She hasn't slapped me.

Hasn't called Jade.

Hasn't tried to destroy my career.

She has simply decided she no longer wants me.

And somehow that's worse than everything else combined.

Kristal reaches the entryway.

Her purse goes over her shoulder.

Her keys disappear inside.

Her laptop bag follows.

I stand between her and the door without intentionally doing it.

Her eyes narrow.

"Move."

"Kristal."

"Move."

"Just give me today."

"No."

"One day."

"For what?"

"To think."

"You think."

Her eyes glisten.

"I've thought enough."

She reaches for the doorknob.

Panic surges through me.

I gently catch her wrist.

She immediately looks down at my hand.

I let go.

"Sorry."

She says nothing.

"I'm scared," I admit.

That finally makes her look at me.

Really look.

"I know."

"I'm losing you."

"You already did."

My throat burns.

"Don't make this so final."

Her face crumples for one second.

One.

Then she steadies herself.

"I didn't make it final, Shawn."

Her hand wraps around the knob.

"You did."

She opens the door.

"Kristal."

She steps into the hallway.

"Please."

She turns.

Tears shine in her beautiful blue eyes.

For one crazy second, hope explodes inside me.

Maybe she'll come back.

Maybe—

"I loved you."

Past tense.

My entire body goes cold.

"Kristal—"

"I really f*****g loved you."

Then—

SLAM!

The door shuts in my face.

I stare at it.

Nothing moves.

Nothing makes sense.

My vision blurs.

I touch the door.

"Kristal..."

My voice breaks.

Tears slide down my face before I can stop them.

One.

Then another.

Then too many.

My phone rings.

I don't even have to look.

Jade.

Of course.

I pull it from my pocket.

JADE ❤️

I stare at her name.

My wife.

The woman waiting for my decision.

I can't.

Not now.

I hold the power button.

The screen goes black.

Then I let the phone fall from my hand.

It hits the hardwood floor.

I don't care.

My knees give out.

I slide down the door until I'm sitting on the floor.

And for the first time since this whole nightmare began, there is no Jade.

No Kristal.

No decision.

No excuses.

Just me.

Alone.

Surrounded by the consequences of every lie I told.

I bury my face in my hands.

And break.

---

Kristal's POV

Don't turn around.

That's the only thing I tell myself as I drag two suitcases down the hallway.

Don't.

Turn.

Around.

Because if I do, I'll see that door.

Our door.

No.

His door.

And I refuse to let sentimentality drag me back into hell.

The elevator arrives.

I step inside.

The doors close.

My knees nearly collapse.

I grab the railing.

"Breathe."

Down.

Down.

Down.

Every floor puts distance between me and the biggest mistake of my life.

By the time I reach the garage, I've pulled myself together.

Mostly.

Outside, Los Angeles is doing what Los Angeles does.

Cars.

People.

Noise.

Life.

Nobody knows mine just imploded.

I place my luggage in the truck, get in the car and search hotels on my phone.

Cheap.

Safe.

Available immediately.

That's the criteria.

Luxury can kiss my ass.

Eventually, I find a small hotel that isn't glamorous but won't completely drain my account.

Good enough.

I start the car as I brace myself.

I put the hotel address in the GPS

Goodbye...

I zoom out of the garage.

Never looking back.

Los Angeles passes outside the window.

Five years ago, I arrived in this city beside Shawn Montgomery believing I was beginning my future.

Today, I'm driving through it alone wondering how much of myself I lost along the way.

My phone sits heavy in my hand.

Mom.

Not yet.

If I call her now, I'll break while driving.

I can't.

So I focus on my destination and hold myself together.

Barely.

---

The hotel lobby smells faintly like lemon cleaner and old carpet.

Perfect.

Nobody here knows me, Shawn nor Jade

I'm just another woman checking in.

"Reservation?"

"Kristal Jones."

The clerk finds it.

I hand over my ID and card.

A few signatures later, she slides a keycard toward me.

"Third floor. Room 317."

"Thank you."

My voice sounds normal.

Amazing.

I drag my luggage upstairs.

Find the room.

Swipe the card.

Green light.

I step inside.

Two steps.

Then I close the door.

Lock it.

Deadbolt.

Security latch.

And just stand there.

The room is small.

A bed.

Dresser.

TV.

Tiny bathroom.

Ugly painting.

Nothing about Shawn.

Nothing about us.

Nothing familiar.

My suitcase slips from my hand.

Then the second one.

My purse hits the floor.

I sit on the edge of the bed.

My phone is already in my hand.

Mom.

I stare at her name.

Then press call.

One ring.

Two.

"Hey, baby!"

Her voice.

That's it.

That's all it takes.

"Mom..."

She goes silent.

A mother knows.

"Kristal?"

My lip trembles.

"Mommy..."

"Oh, baby. What's wrong?"

I break.

Completely.

The first sob tears out of me so violently I fold over.

"Kristal!"

"He—"

I can't breathe.

"Baby, breathe. What's happening?"

"Shawn..."

"What did he do?"

I cover my mouth.

My body shakes.

"He's married."

Silence.

"What?"

"He's married, Mom."

My voice cracks.

"He was married the whole time."

"Oh my God."

"Seven years."

My mother makes a sound somewhere between shock and anger.

"I've been with him five."

"Oh, Kristal."

"I didn't know."

"I know, baby."

"I swear I didn't know."

"I know."

That makes me cry harder.

"I left everything."

"I know."

"For him."

"I know, baby."

"My job. Everybody. You."

"You didn't leave me."

"But I moved across the country because I trusted him!"

The words rip through me.

"And he—"

I choke.

"He has a wife."

My mother lets me cry.

She doesn't rush me.

Doesn't tell me everything happens for a reason.

Doesn't tell me to calm down.

She just stays.

Exactly what I need.

Eventually the sobs weaken.

Then slow.

Then stop.

I wipe my face with both hands.

"I left him."

"Good."

My mother's answer is immediate.

A watery laugh escapes me.

"Mom."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"Are you safe?"

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

"A hotel."

"Do you have enough money?"

"Yes."

"Do you need me to come?"

Fresh tears sting my eyes.

God, I want her.

"I don't know."

"Then I can come."

"No."

I breathe slowly.

"Not yet."

"Okay."

"I need to think."

"Then think."

I close my eyes.

"I feel so stupid."

"No."

"Mom—"

"No, Kristal."

Her voice turns firm.

"Trusting someone you loved does not make you stupid."

My throat tightens.

I look around the little hotel room.

My temporary home.

My first space in five years that has absolutely nothing to do with Shawn Montgomery.

"I'm done crying."

"You don't have to be."

"No."

I wipe away the last tear.

"I'm serious."

Because something inside me knows this is true.

This is the last time.

The last time I will collapse because Shawn chose dishonesty.

The last time I'll mourn a future that never truly existed.

The last tear I'll shed over a relationship that never should have happened.

I loved him.

I lost him.

And now?

I have to find myself.

---

Jade's POV

Call declined.

Again.

I stare at my phone.

"What the hell, Shawn?"

I've called him more times than I care to admit.

No answer.

Earlier, my text showed Read.

I meant what I said.

He saw it.

And still—

Nothing.

Radio silence.

I pace through the living room.

At first, I was angry.

Let him deal with it.

He created this mess.

He needed to make a choice.

That's what I told myself.

Now?

I'm starting to regret making him leave.

Not the boundary.

I meant that.

I am not going to be the mistress to my own husband.

But maybe forcing the decision immediately was too much.

What if Kristal heard everything?

What if she's falling apart?

What if Shawn is trying to fix things with her?

My stomach twists.

I stop pacing.

No.

Don't do this, Jade.

You asked for an answer.

You told him not to call or come back unless you were his choice.

He's not calling.

He's not coming back.

My throat tightens.

Suddenly, a thought enters my mind.

Quiet.

Cruel.

Impossible to ignore.

What if the silence isn't confusion?

What if it isn't because he's dealing with Kristal?

What if...

My eyes drop to my wedding ring.

Is this his answer?