Ghosts

Wild dogs & Votes

*The next morning.*

"Yeah, it was crazy. We came downstairs, and we were like,'Woah!' and the bones - they were just - " Jay blew in his hand like a magician would make something disappear. "Gone!"

"Vanished." Damien added, trying to get the both of them out of this situation.

"So you don't have to call the county anymore, huh? Which is good. Alright." Jay rambled.

"So they're just gone?" Mark said, not believing their story.

"Yeah." They both said, hoping Mark would drop it.

"Must've been an animal. Wild dog?" Jay forced out. "Y'all got wild dogs out here?"

"Could've been a fox. No one knows for sure cos we were all asleep." Damien insisted.

"Look, guys. I don't really care. I didn't want this site to shut down anyway." Mark admitted. "That being said, I was talking to a buddy of mine he said that if the bones were actually viking, could be worth a pretty penny."

"Really?" Jay asked sceptical.

"Yeah. A museum would definitely buy them. But you don't have them, right?"

"Nah." Jay and Damien replied, trying their best not to sound disappointed.

"Huh. Sucks about those wild dogs." Mark informed as he walked past both men towards the construction site. Jay and Damien stared at each other in disbelief before they yelled:

"Sam?!"

"Cassie?!"

Then they headed into the house to tell the girls the news.

************************

"So, can I count on your support, Hetty?" Alberta questioned, determined to win the election.

"Well, I do believe that women should have each other's backs."

"Yesss!!!" Alberta celebrated.

"Nooo!!!" Isacc whined.

"But I don't believe that women should be allowed to vote. I won't get into the who's and whys, but it has something to do with overtaxing the female brain." Hetty finished before hurrying out of the room.

"WHAT THE HELL?! Come on, Hetty!" Alberta pleaded as Hetty left.

"I fully endorce your decision!" Isacc supported. "Which is why you should vote for me! Illegitimate though that vote may be!"

*********************

*The kitchen*

"OK, so that should be everything." Sam told Thor. In the kitchen, she and Cassie had been planning Thorfinn's viking funeral whilst Trevor, Thor, and Sassapis watched. "I found an old canoe out in the boathouse by the body, and Jay has been practising with his arrow."

"Do you even know how dirty that sounded Mom?"

"And mead, I will need mead! Watch u, Small Man, Little One n Tall Stick drink! Yes!" Thor added.

"We don't have any mead." Sam regretfully informed him.

"Yeah. Besides, Tall Stick and I can't drink because we are underage." Cassie said, enjoying Damien's new nickname.

"No mead? So what you drink at your orgies?" Thor questioned, causing Cassie to choke on her water while Sam froze.

"Bro, Viking life sounds awesome!" Trevor exclaimed.

"People don't really do those anymore!" Cassie told Thor.

"Y'know, I was wondering." Sam started, attempting to move away from the previous topic. "If funerals were so important in your culture, how come you never had one?"

"Told you. I was...alone on a mission!"

"Yeah, I know, but when you didn't return, did they not find you or?" Sam asked.

"Don't interrogate Thor! Less talk, more brew mead!" Thor yelled as he stormed out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Sam questioned.

"Well, it's a complicated time." Sassapis spoke. "There's a lot of emotions wrapped up with this whole funeral. Plus, it's been a thousand years since his last orgy."

"Gross." Cassie mumbled.

"Big Guy's a little pent up." Trevor commented. Cassie hit her head on the table and then grumbled, "How is this our lives now?" Sam was wondering the exact thing and didn't really have an answer, so she just rubbed her daughter's back reassuringly.

******************************

A little while later, Alberta searched for Hetty and found her sat in her bedroom. "Hey, you got a sec? It's about your vote."

"Please, not this again!" Hetty groaned.

"Just let me say my peace." Alberta said. "When you were alive, women couldn't vote. And when I was alive, we got the vote, but the ain't make it easy. And for people like me? It was still almost impossible because the man didn't want to give up that power."

"Yeah!" Flower joined in as she had overheard the conversation from the hallway. "And the man tried to make us wear bras and shave our pits! Drop acid, not b*mbs! WOO!!" She cried as she ran out of the room.

"OK." Alberta grumbled before continuing. "The point is," She said as she took a seat beside Hetty. "Too many people worked too hard and sacrificed too much for you to just throw this away!"

Hetty contemplated before speaking. "Alberta? You have my vote!" Both girls cheered at this news. "Oh, look at that! I used my female brain to size my rights, and I don't feel the vapours coming out at all!" Hetty smiled. "Wait, hold on!" She said as she made sure that there were no vapours. "No, I'm good!" She smiled once again.

*********************

Sam and Cassie were in an office when Jay and Damien came running in. "Hey!" Jay called, snapping the girls' attentions. "Are we alone right now?" Jay whispered.

"Yes." Sam whispered back.

"Check this out. Turns out Viking bones are actually really rare and very valuable." Jay informed them.

"Really?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah, I called the Natural History Museum in Albany, and they say that if the bones are genuine, they'll buy them!" Jay said.

"Well, how much?" Sam asked with excitement.

"Enough to pay for the fountain...and the roof!"

"Oh my God!!" Cassie exclaimed as Sam's smile widened.

"AND, extra money to put a booth in the kitchen like Chip and Joanna did in the last season!"

"Who?" Damien asked.

"The Christmas episode?! 'Empty nesters looking to downsize?!"

"That's what I'm talking about, baby."

"But I already told Thorfinn." Sam sighed.

"I know, and I wish there was another way, but we need the money." Jay reasoned. Unbeknownst to the four livings, Thor had just entered the room. "And a much as it pains me to say," Jay continued. "I think we got to sell that big viking's bones."

"Can we just sell one bone? Y'know, so he can still have a funeral, and we still get a bit of payment?" Cassie asked, torn between the two ideas.

"But you guys need more money for the B&B and renovations." Damien added.

Sam sighed. "OK, you're right."

Thor roared in anger, snatching Sam, Cassie, and Damien's attention as they watched him storm over to Jay and attempt to strangle him, even though Thor knew it wouldn't affect Jay and his hands kept phasing through his neck. "How are you going to break it to him?" Jay asked, blissfully unaware of the fact that Thor was currently trying to k*ll him.

"Um, I will figure something out." Sam said as she watched Thor's rage.

"It's gonna be grate for us." Jay smiled. "Ooh! I'm excited!"

"Please stop." Sam quietly asked Thor while keeping a smile on her face for Jay.

"DIE LITTLE MAN!!!!!" Thor bellowed, still attempting to cause Jay some sort of hurt.

"OK." Cassie mumbled as she walked out of the room, dragging Thor with her, who was yelling at Jay.

******************

*Meanwhile, in the basement*

"So you're saying we get to vote for this ghost representative thing?" A basement ghost asked.

"Mm-hm. Oh, absolutely!" Isacc confirmed. "You're not different from those of us who live upstairs. Not too close, my dear friend." Isacc instructed a ghost who started to inch really close to Isacc.

"Wow! No one ever thinks of us." A female basement ghost admitted.

"But I do. I think of you. In fact, I will have vivid memories of this conversation for a long, long time. So, can I count on your vote? I promise if elected, your voice will be heard!" Isacc declared as the same ghost from before began getting close to Isacc and sniffing him. Isacc squirmed and started to exit the room. "Um, ok. Y'know what? Thank you so much for your support. I am a man of the people! Good day." Isacc bid as he ran out of the room. "Oh my God!"