Worth the wait

This is my first year as a teacher. My name is Kam Bright. I am 26 years old and a history teacher. It was always my dream to become a teacher. I cannot wait to teach and live my dream. I live in a small city in Kansas. I thought of moving out of state but wanted to stay close to my family. Open house- It is the Friday before we start school. It is so the kids can learn where there classes are as well as meet their teachers. I wanted to teach middle school but there was no openings so I am teaching high school. I am teaching freshmen all the way to juniors. I am excited to meet my students. The day went smoothly was about to get ready to head out as it was over. Heard a loud student say mom I know where that class is we can just leave. Okay, well I want to meet your teacher the mom said. I put my bag down waiting for the mom to come in. My class was the only one In that was in the direction of the voices. Hello, I heard the mom say. My name is Sue and my daughter will be in your class this year. My name is Kam and it is nice to meet you. Thank you, is this your first year teaching she asked. Yes. Well good luck Kam. Thanks. I headed out for the night. I did wonder though what the daughter looked like since I heard the voice. What face would go along with it. The nerves were setting in. I only had this weekend and then Monday I would be teaching. Many questions running through my mind. Would I be good, would they like me, and if I would be like I dreamed it would be? The weekend went by so fast and I am up early to make sure I don’t forget anything. Wanting to get to school early to make sure I am there if anyone needs help. Thankfully they have a teacher’s parking section. I was able to find a spot no problem. Went in and got everything ready. Was writing my name on the board and I couldn’t stop smiling. This was it. The students are going to be walking in at any moment. I didn’t know if I should greet them at the door or was that over the top. They were high schoolers. I am going to just wait at my desk. Checking emails as the students came in. I was busy getting caught up in my emails and the bell rang and caught me off guard. I got up and walked to the front of the room. Ready to introduce myself when I heard that voice again. The one that was talking to their mom. I looked and knew I was in trouble. Not only was she beautiful but she started to laugh and I couldn’t believe that I stop breathing when I heard it. I wanted time to stop so I could just stare at her and memorize everything about her. I gave myself a few more seconds to look then told myself I had to move on. Hello class my name is Mr. Bright. I am your history teacher. I went on to hand out the syllabus. I was going to just pass them to the front and have them pass them back. But I wanted to get close to her. I decided to just hand them out to everyone. When I came to her she looked up to me and looked me into the eyes and said thank you. For me at that moment I knew then I was in love and would do anything for her. I don’t know how to explain it but when I looked into her eyes I seen so much. I seen kindness but sadness. I seen the light but also darkness. I kept moving on but wanted to understand the story her eyes where trying to tell or hide. I couldn’t figure out which but I long to. I made another decision to play the two truths and a lie games for an ice breaker. I wasn’t planing on it. Was just going to do roll call. I wanted to know more about her though. I cannot believe I am already changing things just for her. I was suppose to be in control it was my first day and everything has now changed. All I know is I am her teacher and I want her but she is to young. Frustrating is starting to set in. Maybe let’s not do the game. Mad at myself because I was already changing things. I don’t like this feeling. It is like a chase but she isn’t running. I want more. But haven’t even broke ground yet. I just decide to stick to roll call. I am anxious to find out her name though. Would it go well with Bright? No, Kam stop thinking that way and just stick to roll call. Amaris Myers I call. Here she says. I know that voice it is her I look over to her and see her hand raised. What a beautiful name. Her name seems to fit her. The day just started and I did plan on getting started teaching today after going over the syllabus, but after knowing her name. I need a minute to collect my thoughts. I go over the syllabus fast ask if there are any questions then just let them talk for the rest of the day. I go to my desk and just lost in thought. This day is not turning out how I planned. Would I change it? Yes and no. I met her so no but yes because what am I suppose to do with this information. I can’t act on it. I can’t have her. All I want is to go to her and pull her in my lap and hold her as she tells me everything about herself. The rest of the day seems to go on. I am grateful. That time didn’t stop or I would have stayed there forever. Stuck in an impossible situation. I cannot wait to get home. I get inside and set everything down. I rub my hands over my face and then let out a scream. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe what I am feeling. Why is life so unfair? I was not prepared for this. One, they don’t teach you what to do when you fall in love with a student. Two, never could I have even thought to plan for this. I wasn’t even looking for love. I just wanted to focus on teaching for a few years then think about dating. I also, didn’t know love at first sight was possible. I always thought my dad was over exaggerating when he told me he knew mom was it for him when he first met her. I should call dad and ask for advice. Well, maybe not. How do I tell him I feel in love with my student on my first day teaching?