Chapter 1
Today ought to have been about my turning fourteen. It should have been related to my first shift. Should have focused on meeting my wolf.
Rather, I'm standing here in black in front of a coffin far too small to really feel real.
No cake here.
Not gifts.
Not laughed at all.
Just cold whispers, heavy steps on the stone floor, and the kind of silence that stalks your chest.
Clarissa's funeral sucked all that was meant to be mine.
I tightened my dress in my hands.
Aurora, this is just a stupid birthday. Let go of it.
Though I forced the tears back, my eyes burnt. It would get worse if one started crying. Make me weak.
People were murmuring all indirectly around me. None of them were brave enough to get quite near.
She was meant to be the future Luna.
"Such a catastrophe." Gregory and his family have to be crushed.
"How will the Wolfhaven Pack bounce back from this?”
They were not interested in me standing here like a ghost from long ago. Regarding only what Clarissa's death meant for them.
"How's Aurora holding up?" a neighbour asked.
"Poor thing," another responded with sympathy. "Losing a Sister... and on her birthday, no less."
I clenched my hands till my nails bit my flesh.
I am not paying attention. Don't respond.
Suddenly at my side was my brother Adrian.
You okay?" he asked.
"Peachy," I said in a whisper.
He muttered a sigh. "Mom is looking for you."
Clearly she is. Unlike my day or anything else."
"Aurora... " He stopped, looking around. "This is not about you today."
I laughed quietly under my breath. A nasty sound.
Never was it.
Outside the Silver Mother temple, the bell rang, signalling the beginning of the service. Under my feet, the deep, sombre sound seemed to ruckle the ground.
I trailed Adrian across the sea of people, listening to brief exchanges buzzing like flies.
"She was meant to mate with Adrian Gregory's boy."
"Such a waste..." She would have produced the ideal Luna.
"Now who's going to lead after Alpha Gregory retires?"
Every syllable seemed like a slap.
We arrived at the front row, where my parents were statues caught in grief. Head down, I slid into the seat next to them.
Standing close to the altar, Gregory, the Alpha, made a great speech on Clarissa's compassion, fortitude, future... Every bit I knew was not the whole truth.
Had only they had known the other Clarissa.
The one who, when nobody else was around, murmured nasty things.
She walked in and looked at me like I was.
"You're never going to be anything," Aurora said. You are just the leftover child.
My stomach spun.
Maybe I deserve to be wrecked today.
Gregory said, "...we will never forget her light."
My mother held my hand so firmly that my bones ground together.
Don't wince. Keep from setting off a scene.
The presentations opened the floor to anyone eager to share memories when they came to a finish.
I dropped into my seat and prayed no one would call on me. I didn't want to create a fiction around Clarissa's golden heart. I felt no desire to lie.
People got up one by one to speak. Tears and smiles abound in the stories that came out.
"Clarissa showed me how to braid my daughter's hair."
"She always volunteered first during harvest festivals..."
"She was a role model for everyone..."
Role model: Of course. If you turned aside the glares. The muck-balls. The entertainment value of the games
Adrian gave me a shove. "You ought to speak."
I shook my head very hard. "I'm fine."
"Sure?"
Under my breath, I snipped. "Leave me alone unless you want me to wreck this whole thing."
He pushed his lips together and then turned away.
The reception began following the burial under the twisted black oaks behind the temple. Trying not to breathe too deeply, I stayed near the edges, out of sight. Every scent seemed to be regret and dying flowers.
My wolf moved within me. A low, restless sensation that caused skin itching.
It comes... It is not possible to stop it.
I wished I could vanish and pulled at my sleeves.
Aurora.
The voice of my father sliced through the noise. I started straight away.
Indeed, sir.
He wrinkled his nose. "Tonight... during the reception... we’ll find a moment for you to shift."
My heart staggered.
"Here now? During Clarissa's funeral?
His eyes got sharp. "Do you want to complicate this for your mother?"
"No," I said in a whisper.
"Good. Prepare yourself. We shall not have much time.
He turned aside without saying anything else.
Feeling as though I were a stranger in my own flesh, I watched him walk.
This was indeed happening. Here was I really about to shift for the first time?
From behind, someone bumped into me.
"Watch it," a lad sneered.
I mumbled, not even looking at him, "sorry."
Mixed together—thick and oily— were voices and laughter. Not one of them seemed real. Not one of them seemed appropriate.
Night crawled in front of us, clouds hiding the moon. The branches of the trees shook as a cold wind slithered among them.
From every table, Clarissa's picture grinned, large false smiles not matching the girl I knew.
Would the Silver Mother not object to this?
I retreated, a strong pull in my chest guiding me. My wolf started to grow impatient.
"Are you ready?" Suddenly appearing out of nowhere, Adrian asked.
I gave a stiff nod.
Come on now. Dad was waiting.
We left the throng behind us. Every action caused my heart to hammer harder. My vision darkened at the margins.
Adrian led me to the old amphitheater, now empty and echoing under the weight of the night sky.
The moment I stepped into the center, my knees wobbled.
"I don't want to do this," I whispered.
"You have to, Rory," Adrian said quietly. "It is who we are."
"But she just passed."
"Know."
"Everything is wrong."
Knowing is something.
I drew my eyes closed. I am unable to do this.
I'm not yet ready. I lack sufficient strength for Unlike Clarissa, I do not enjoy this.
The first jolt knocked me so hard I gasped.
Pain, white-hot, tore across my skeleton. My back curved. My hands ripped at the heavens.
Adrian grasped my shoulders. "Breathe, Aurora." Come stay with me!
I faltered. The world spun.
Additional shock. Further.
My body seemed to be separating itself.
I started to scream, raw and frayed. It returned twice as loud and bounced off the empty chairs.
"I am not…"
"You might!"
The moon lastingly breaking through the clouds was the last sight I saw before everything turned dark.
And the shadow observing me at the brink of the woods.
not personal. Not wild. Not anything I recognized.
Her heart stopped.
Something is approaching….
There is already something here.
And moving might have simply made me visible to it.
