The broken Alpha - Healed by innocence

Visiting the town

*Callista*

Studying the words I had written before I went to sleep last night, I slowly chew on the biscuit. I know freedom is an illusion. I can come and go as I please as long as I don't go where I really want to, someplace where I can cast my own shadow.

Still, I intend to enjoy the day. Even Chase's apparent lack of interest in my topics isn't going to spoil my mood. I glance up from my notes. "Why do you suppose the leaves change color in autumn?"

With his egg-laden fork halfway to his mouth, Chase stills. "Because they die."

"I see." I look at Blaise. "Are you of the same sentiment?"

Peering at me over the brim of his cup, steam rising from the coffee, humor in his eyes, he nods.

I return my attention to my list. I had been incredibly pleased with myself last night for walking to the corral to ask Chase for permission to ride to town with Blaise. Of course, Blaise had shoved me out the door and locked it, forcing me to find the courage to face my mate, but still, I had found it... eventually.

"What is your favorite color?" I ask.

"Brown." He says.

I lift my gaze. "Brown? Of all the colors in the world, why do you like brown?"

*Chase*

I can't bring myself to tell her the truth. I favor brown because her eyes are brown. The one time I saw them without fear or wariness clouding them, they mesmerized me. "I just do."

"Oh." She says.

She looks at her scrap of paper, and I bite back a scathing expletive. I had threatened her with a discussion on husbandry if she didn’t talk, and here she is, bringing a list of topics to the table this morning and running her finger over it, looking for things to discuss.

Wind. Rain. The shape of clouds. The entire time she prattles about things, I discover that I want to talk about her. What she feared as a little girl. Her dreams. If she's lonely.

I shove my chair back, and she jerks her head up. I stand, walk to her end of the table, and set an envelope beside her plate.

"What’s this?" she asks.

"Spending money." For over an hour, I contemplated how much to give her, fearing too little or too much might offend her. I have no idea how much money a she-wolf need and settled on 200 dollars. "If it’s not enough, you can put your purchases on my account, and I will take care of it the next time I go to town."

She trails her fingers over the envelope, and I wonder what it would feel like to have her slender fingers skim over my chest.

She peers up at me. "Thank you."

"You’re my Luna. I’m supposed to see that you don’t do without." I glare at Blaise. "Take care of her, or I will hang your hide out to dry."

I stalk from the room, wondering why I couldn’t have simply leaned down, kissed her on the cheek, and told her to enjoy the day.

*Callista*

I take great delight in riding with Blaise. He possesses much more patience than his older brother. He has already taught me how to send Lemon Drop into a trot. I love the feel of the wind brushing across my face, the movement of the golden mare beneath me, and the knowledge that I am in control of the beast.

If only I could control my mate as easily. If only he would set me free.

I slow my horse to a walk. Beside me, Blaise does the same.

"You did that really well," he says, smiling broadly.

I feel the warmth fan my cheeks. "She’s a good horse."

"That’s the only kind Wade raises." He grins.

"Do you think we will go back and work on their house this Sunday?" I ask.

He nods. "I’m sure we will. Chase ain’t one to leave a job half-done."

"No, I don’t imagine he is like that." I shift my backside over the saddle. "Why did your parents name you and your brothers what they did… kinda rhyming I mean?"

"According to Wade, our pa had a poetic streak in him and named us to rhyme on purpose, it also made him travel a lot. I don’t remember our pa, but Wade says Chase is a lot like him, says that’s the reason Chase purchased so much land. He could wander far and wide and still be at home."

His answer gives me pause for thought. I wonder if Chase had longed for roots while he was growing up as much as I had longed to leave. I brush a fleck of dirt off my riding skirt. "I was wondering..."

Blaise tips his hat off his brow. "Yes, Callie?"

"My father sends someone into town every week for supplies. Wouldn’t it save you considerable time if you brought a wagon so you wouldn’t have to go into town every day for supplies?"

Blaise’s face turns beet red as he tugs his hat down. "I ain’t going into town for supplies. Chase sends Pete in to get the supplies."

"Then why do you go every day?" I ask.

He clears his throat. "I just like to."

"Chase doesn’t mind?" I am curious.

"Long as I get my work done, he don’t mind at all." He says.

I contemplate his answer. My days are long, my nights even longer. I wonder if I could find something in town to help me pass the time.

Tightening my hold on the reins, I stare as the town comes into view. Half a dozen wooden buildings checkered the wide dusty street. On the outskirts of town, it looks as though people had haphazardly thrown up tents.

Workers are hammering on the frame of a building. The scent of sawdust fills the air. I have never seen anything like it.

The day Chase announced that he was setting aside the land for a town, I had seen nothing but open prairie. I haven’t returned since.

I knew the town has acquired a dressmaker and a general store. I hadn’t known about the saloon or the bank or the jail.

“What are they building?” I ask Blaise as he leads our horses down the center of town.

He smiles. “A livery and a blacksmith shop.”.

“It really is going to be a town,” I say in awe. “Rowan had said it would never happen. That Chase was a fool.”

“Rowan’s the fool,” Blaise says. “I have never seen Chase fail at anything.”

Blaise brings our horses to a stop in front of a false-fronted building that proclaims ‘Littlebeck’s general store’. He dismounts, tethers both horses, then reaches up and helps me dismount.

A whole town to walk through. Well, not quite a whole town, but it will be someday, and my mate is responsible. An empire builder.

Perhaps he is more. A builder of dreams.

How does one even go about knowing where to begin?

Blaise opens the door that leads into the general store. As soon as he enters the building, he sweeps his hat from his head and an easy smile plays at the corners of his mouth.

Olivia Littlebeck, the owner’s daugther, stands on a ladder, placing canned goods on a shelf. She glances over her shoulder, her blue eyes growing warm.

I think I might have discovered Blaise’s interest in coming to town every day.

“What can I do you for?” asks a balding man standing behind the counter.

I remember being introduced to Perry Littlebeck at my wedding.

Olivia rolls her eyes and climbs down from the ladder. “Oh, Pa, you got the words all mixed up again.”

He winks at me. “Young’uns. They ain’t never happy with what their parents do.” He looks at Blaise. “Well, young man, what brings you into town today?”

“Callie needs something so I just brought her into town.” Blaise says.

I fight to keep the surprise off my face. I don’t need anything, but Blaise gives me an imploring look that begs me to play along. How could I resist the plea in those blue eyes?

“What do you need then, Luna Moonshadow?” Mr. Littlebeck asks.

Luna Moonshadow? I think I might never get used to that name. “I . . . uh . . . books . . . I need some books.”

Mr. Littlebeck’s eyes widen. “You already read those books your husband came in and purchased last week?”

I glance at Blaise. He simply shrugs. I have no idea what books my husband has bought. No doubt more on husbandry. “No, he didn’t share them with me,” I finally confess.

Mr. Littlebeck rubs his palm over his shining bald pate. “That’s odd. He said they were for you. Said you liked to read.” He squints his pale blue eyes and puckers his lips. “Let’s see. I had A Tale of Two Cities and Silas Marner. He bought them both.”

Words fail me. If Chase had purchased the books for me, wouldn’t he have told me? If he hadn’t purchased them for me, why had he told Mr. Littlebeck that he had?

“They were all I had in stock,” Mr. Littlebeck continues. “He told me when I got more books in, I was to set them aside until he had a chance to look at them.”

The bell above the door tinkles as a young boy walks hesitantly into the store. His dark hair is in dire need of a cut and his face a good scrubbing. His bare feet shuffle over the wooden floor as he nears the counter and digs his hand into the pocket of his coveralls. One strap trails down his backside since he has no button on the front of the coveralls to hold it in place. It looks as though the button on the other side isn’t going to stay with him much longer.

Perry Littlebeck leans over the counter. “Well, Mr. Cooper Rawley. What can I do you for today?”

The boy slaps some coins on the counter. “My pa’s needing’ some cig’rette makin’s.”

“I have got some right back here,” Mr. Littlebeck says as he disappears behind the counter.

The boy gazes at the jars of colorful candy that line the counter. I don’t think he can be much older than eight. His hazel eyes shoot back to Mr. Littlebeck when the man sets a pouch of tobacco and some papers on the counter.

“Obliged,” the boy says as he slips the supplies into his pocket and turns to leave.

“Hold on there a minute, Cooper. You gave me too much,” Mr. Littlebeck says as he places a pudgy finger on a copper penny and slides it across the counter.

Cooper looks doubtful as his gaze darts between Mr. Littlebeck and the penny. Hesitantly, he places his grubby hand over the penny.

“I’m selling licorice for a penny today,” Mr. Littlebeck says. “Don’t reckon your pa would miss a penny.”

Cooper shakes his head, grabs the penny, and hurries out the door.

“You should have told him it was free,” Blaise says.

Mr. Littlebeck shakes his head. “Tried that. The boy has too much pride to take something for nothing. Beats anything I have ever seen. Considering who his pa is, I don’t know how he managed to latch on to any pride.”

"Who is his father?" I ask.

He shakes his head lightly. "One of the workers putting up the buildings, although calling him a worker is giving him the benefit of the doubt. Mostly he just draws his pay and gets drunk."

"Where is Cooper’s mother?" I ask.

"Dead, I reckon."

Blaise pulls two sarsaparilla sticks out of a jar. “Put these on my account,” he says as he heads toward the door.

“He won’t take them,” Mr. Littlebeck calls after him.

Blaise flashes a disarming grin. “I can be quite charming when I want to be.”

As the door closes behind him, I back away from the counter, feeling self-conscious without Blaise by my side. “I’m going to look around.”

Mr. Littlebeck nods. “You let us know if you need anything.”

I walk to the far side of the store, not certain what I should do if I do find something I want to purchase. I feel vulnerable and lost, like a child who has let go of her mother’s hand in a crowd of people.

I’m twenty-six years old, and I have no idea how to purchase a ribbon for my hair. My father and my brothers had gotten into the habit of bringing everything to me while I had tended to my mother. The habit had remained long after my mother had passed away.

Where once I had felt pampered, I now feel afraid.

I have allowed myself to become dependent on the kindness of my family, and they have pulled that kindness out from under me. I turn toward the soft footfalls.

Olivia smiles at me. “Did you find something that you wanted?”

I wring my hands together. I suppose I should begin turning Chase’s house into a home. “I was looking for some rugs.”

“We have some over here,” Olivia says.

I skirt barrels and boxes as I follow Olivia to the other side of the store. Olivia pats a stack of rugs.

“This is all we have. Just look through them and let me know if you want one.” She says.

Careful not to disturb the pile, I remove one rug at a time and examine it. I want something with brown woven through it, Chase’s favorite color.

“I sure was surprised when I heard Chase was going to marry you,” Olivia says.

I glance up from the selections and smile. “I guess you didn’t know my brothers had a sister.”

“Oh, I had heard the rumors,” Olivia says. “I was just surprised Chase would marry you after Rowan shot Blaise.”

My heart rams against my ribs, and I can feel the blood draining from my face.

Olivia’s eyes widen. “Oh, my goodness. Didn’t you know?”

I lower my gaze to the floor, wishing it would c***k open and swallow me whole.

“I’m sure Chase has forgiven him, otherwise he wouldn’t have married you.” She quickly says.

The door swings open and Blaise saunters into the store, a sarsaparilla stick jutting from his mouth. “Well, I did it. Got the boy to take one of the sticks.”

He strolls over to me, confidence in his step. “What you got there, Callie?”

“R-rugs. I thought... I thought I would purchase one for the house.” I stutter.

“That would be fine,” Blaise says, talking around the sarsaparilla stick. “Which one?”

I quickly search through the stack and pull out a brown rug. “This one.”

Olivia takes it from me. “I will wrap it for you and put it on Chase’s account. You can pick it up on your way out of town.”

“Can we go home now?” I ask Blaise.

“Thought you wanted to see the rest of the town?” He looks confused.

“Oh, yes, I forgot.” I can’t bring myself to look at Blaise, knowing my brother had shot him.

Blaise takes my arm. “Come on, Callie, you’re looking pale. Let’s get some air.”

I allow him to lead me outside. Then I break away from him, cross the small boardwalk, and wrap my trembling hands around the railing.

*Blaise*

I study her, the she-wolf clinging to the railing as though she's afraid she will drown in the dust without it. I take the sarsaparilla stick out of my mouth. “What happened, Callie?”

She looks at me, with hurt and anger mixed in her eyes. My stomach drops clear to the ground, and I fight the urge to reach out and touch her, to wipe the hurt and anger away. “What did I do?” I say, my voice low.

“Rowan shot you.” She says.

I furrow my brow. “Yeah?”

“You said it was cattle rustlers.” There is accusation in her voice.

“Chase said it was cattle rustlers.” I point out.

She huffs. “Why?”

I shrug. “Maybe he didn’t think you would believe him, or maybe he was trying to spare you some hurt. Sitting in that shade, eating our meal, it just didn’t feel right to me to say Rowan had shot me. I reckon Chase felt the same way.”

“But Rowan did shoot you.” She says.

“Did Olivia tell you that?” I ask her.

She nods.

“Dang, that girl has a big mouth.” I mumble.

“Why did he shoot you?” She asks.

I shake my head lightly, “Don’t think he meant to. He was just shooting, and I got in the way.”

Tears well in her eyes. “I don’t have any friends, Blaise. I need a friend right now. Be my friend.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” I say.

“Friends never lie to each other,” she says.

With my thumb, I push my hat off my brow, wishing I had been a little slower in agreeing to be her friend. “What do you want to know?”

“Do you know what happened the night that Chase broke Rowan’s arm?” She asks.

I nod. “Yep. That’s the night I got shot.”

“Was Rowan guarding his cattle? Did you, Chase, and Wade attack him?” She looks nervous.

I j******f my hat and look at the sky, wondering where wisdom comes from.

"I want the truth," she says. "Am I married to a man who sneaked up on my brother in the dead of night and broke his arm?"

I lower my gaze to hers. Within her brown eyes, I see a sparkle of hope, and I wonder which would hurt her the least… the truth or a lie.

"The truth," she whispers as though understanding my hesitancy.

"No, you are not married to a man who would sneak up on anyone. It's not Chase's way. It never has been. He meets every problem head-on. Your brothers were gettin' into the habit of cutting through Chase's fence and killing off his cattle. That night, we were waiting for them. When the pain ripped through my shoulder, everything went black, but Wade told me that Chase had dragged Rowan through the river. I reckon his arm must have hit a rock or something and got busted, but I do know Chase didn’t do it on purpose."

"Chase frightens me, Blaise." She admits.

I can't stop myself from stepping closer and wrapping my arms around her. "I know. I see it in your eyes every time you look at him. He sees it, too, and it makes him sad, which, on him, looks like he is mad, which scares you more and makes him furious, mostly with himself. It's a circle you can't seem to get out of."

"The things Rowan told me... I don't know what to believe anymore." She says.

I lean back and cup her chin. "Well, you might try by not looking at him through Rowan's eyes, but look at him through your own. Pretend you just met him and had never heard anything about him."

"I think he would still frighten me." She admits.

I laugh. "He scares the hell out of me. Out of Wade, too." I grow somber. "But he would never hurt you, Callie. I know that."

"But he won't set me free." She says.

"If he did, what would you do? Was living with your family better than what you have now?" I ask her.

"I need something more, Blaise. I don't know what, but I know I need something more than what Chase or my family has the power to give me." There is desperation in her voice.

I draw her close, pressing my cheek against the top of her head. "Then I hope you find it, Callie. I truly do."