I love you

Have I gone mad? I'm second guessing this whole plan of mine, this whole move to another place because of a break-up.Am I actually doing this? After all I’ve built, my thriving business, my beautiful home? Not to mention, I’ve never lived anywhere permanently other than here. Is it even a good idea? I'm really going to have to start building all over again and for what? My mind's racing with all these thoughts when I’m snapped back to reality, “Good Morning, ticket please” says the attendant. I hesitate for a second and she notices. “Ma’am?” she says, concerned. I was stuck there, frozen, but I took a deep breath and gave her the tickets. She smiles, hands me back my ticket and gestures for me to get on the plane. With one final look out the window at the city, I said my last goodbyes and then entered the plane. Another attendant greets me from inside the plane. She reads my ticket and directs me to where my seat is. I put my things away and took my seat. I thought I was doing fine, but then my hands started to shake and my head started to spin. I’m nowhere near afraid of planes, it's just the fact that I have accomplished so much here and it feels wrong to throw it all away just for some man who I thought I'd spend my lifetime with. I’d never thought I’d be saying this but I wish I’d died that night after going into that room.  A few months ago My business trip is coming to an end pretty early. It’s my last day so I spent it shopping. My flight isn't until 10pm, so I can sightsee too. This week has been by far one of the best experiences of this year. However, I'm dying to go back home. I can’t lie that Paris is quite beautiful, the people, the food, the shopping, but I'm homesick and would very much like to be at home watching a movie with the love of my life. I ended the day with one of Paris' finest dishes, which was incredibly good. I packed up my things and headed down to the cab. The ride to the airport was amazing. The night sky was filled with stars and I couldn't take my eyes off it. We get to the airport and board the plane. The plane ride home was smooth and relaxing. I took several good naps most of the time with some breaks in between. That consisted of me continuing my book while enjoying the fancy champagne they served us. They never cease to surprise you with the drinks and dishes here. We arrive home safely and I take a cab to work, one because I have a few things to get done and two because my cars are still there. I opened up the office and headed to my desk, setting down my things. I get to work. It’s pretty late but I need to get this paperwork done. I add a few more touches before looking at the clock. I’ve spent about three hours here. I finished packing my things and close up. I put my things in my car, which was a bit of a challenge considering my suitcase increased in size due to all the things I bought. I turn on the car and sit there for a second enjoying the ac. First thing I do before leaving is turn on the music. I search through my playlist for my ultimate favorite song. I found it and turned the volume up with the biggest smile on my face. I'm never too tired for a good song to aggressively swing my body to. The song plays and I don't hesitate to sing my heart out, perfecting the song word for word. I don’t have the best singing voice but I still rocked that. I was halfway home when I saw our spot and stopped. I park and turn off the car. I got out of the car and lay on the hood. This place reminds me of him. He brought me here the day he proposed. We were sitting on the hood of his car talking when he asked me to read one of my books to him (his favorite). When I opened it, it was actually a box disguised as one of my books. In the middle of the fake book was a ring and little bookpage flowers filled the raiming space of the book. “Marry Me” was written on the inside of the cover. I couldn’t see because tears were filling up my eyes. I smiled and took one last look. I got back in the car and headed home. As I pull up in my driveway, I turn the music down and look up at our bedroom window. The lights are on. He’s awake. I got off the trip early to surprise him and thought that maybe I’d have to surprise him in the morning. I quietly opened the door, trying not to make any noise. I set my things on the counter. I quickly but quietly sneaked up the stairs to our bedroom. My face lights up when I see that there are candles and rose petals making a path from the stairs to our bedroom door. I follow them. On the bed there are rose petals placed in a heart shape. My heart melts and I can’t stop smiling. I go to the bathroom to fix my hair but I hear giggling coming from the balcony and eagerly go check. I ran to the balcony but stopped. It takes me a second to realize what was going on, but as I do my heart sinks. My smile fades. There he is.