Cruel punishment
1577 Words
Elias POV
"Did she talk to you?", I ask Levis on day 5. I've noticed that she feels safer with him than with me and it worries me. Levis told me that she has nightmares and hardly dares to leave the cage. He also told me about her malnutrition and eating problem. All this increases my concern for her even more. I just need to know what is going on in her past.
"No, she won't answer me or reveal anything about herself," he replies with a furrowed brow.
"Mhmm," I just mumble.
"What are you thinking about?" asks Levis, but I just leave him and return to my room. As I do every night, I lock the cage, even though it's unnecessary. I walk to the door of the room, as if I was too leave. This time, however, I approach the door again, open it and close it, but without leaving the room, then I sneak past her cage at lightning speed and stand silently in a corner that she cannot see from her cage. It takes a while until she apparently feels safe enough. It seems like she no longer expects me to return this night. Her heartbeat becomes slower and steadier and soon she is asleep. It takes a few more hours before she starts to dream. Her heart rate rises and suddenly she begins to scream in agony, begging and pleading for someone to stop, take pity on her and spare her. This is what Levis prepared me for and I expected it, even if it is something completely different to witness. But what I didn't expect was the flood of emotions pouring out of her. Fear hits me full force and pushes me against the wall. I gasp heavily as her panic and despair also flood me. My breath is gone, I am not used to dealing with such strong emotions. Disgust, shame and deep disappointment take my breath away and leave me powerless. I feel all this as if it were my own feelings. I have to keep telling myself that they are not my feelings, but hers. She is able to feel stronger feelings than anyone else I know. Now I can feel everything that she usually buries inside herself, apparently it's a kind of protective mechanism that I can well understand. Because if I always had to struggle with feelings like that, I'd probably kill myself too. Her despair, her fear and her hopelessness almost break my heart. I feel sorry for her. Whoever she is dreaming of has done her great harm. I quietly open the cage and lift her out, carefully carry her to my bed and put her in it. She does not wake up. She snuggles in and, to my relief, falls to rest. As peacefully as she sleeps there now, my heart heals a little again.
Somehow it must be possible to coax these feelings out of her when she is awake. Because one thing is clear, burying your feelings so deep inside is never good. So I'm going to test her. I'll find out what arouses those strong feelings in her. There has to be some kind of trigger, that sets those feelings free. The rest of the night I watch her, the nightmares keep returning and she never seems to be able to wake up from them. Trapped in the cruel past.
A few hours later she wakes up in my bed. It takes her a while to figure out where she is but then she immediately jumps out of bed and flees to the bathroom. Her wildly beating heart betrays her panic, but I feel nothing. I take a deep breath.
"Lyn, get over here now," I order in a cold voice. My expression is cold and void of emotions as always. This is what my father taught me, to never show your opponent your emotions or thoughts.
She returns to the room and stops just beyond the door, her eyes on the floor, as far away from me as possible. Her long brown hair cowers her face and her shoulders are hunched as if she was trying to hide inside her own slender form.
"Eat," I order, pointing to the food that is still there from yesterday. She doesn't eat very much and that still worries me. She doesn't move, still I can't sense any emotion from her.
"I gave you an order," I thunder, glaring angrily at her. She flinches violently but does not move. I rise, saunter towards her and stop just short of her.
"Are you going to defy me?", I ask in a deep roaring voice. Her eyes grow wide with fear, but still, I sense no emotion from her. So, fear doesn't seem to be a trigger. It seems more likely to make her withdraw even further emotionally.
I think about it for a moment and then go to the cupboard from where I fetch her collar. She follows me with her eyes. I put it on her and lock it.
"This collar marks you as my possession, is that understood?", I ask. I see clear reluctance in her eyes, but I don't sense it.
"If you do not wear the collar, you are fair game and anyone here in the castle will be able to take you and do with you as they please. But you are mine, your body, soul and spirit are my property, and I don't intend to share."
I try to arouse even more disgust in her with my words, but I feel nothing. So, reluctance or defiance are not the triggers either. I leash Lyn and lead her behind me. Her gaze is still fixed on the ground. Her arms hang uselessly at her sides.
I take her to my office. I am not officially king yet, but I have already taken over the reins of government and thus help my father.
"Since you have disobeyed one of my orders, you will suffer the consequences," I say with a spiteful look. Her eyes widen in fear, and she hastily takes a few steps away from me until her leash becomes tight and pulls her back.
I grab her arms and tie them together with thick iron cuffs. She looks at me fearfully, her heart beating fast, but still, she doesn't say a word or show me any of her feelings. I bring her arms over her head and fasten the chain to the ceiling above her. Then I pull her up a little more so that she has to stand on her tiptoes. I don't want to hurt her; I just want to find out if pain or exhaustion is stimulating her feelings. I would never hit her or really hurt her.
I sit down at my desk and begin my work. She keeps gasping and writhing in the bonds, but to no avail. It's not that I can really concentrate on my work, but I show her my disinterest and pretend that the work fully engages me.
After two hours she hangs powerless in the shackles, her head hangs weakly on her chest and her breathing is slow. She continues to surprise me, she has neither screamed, begged nor pleaded, she has taken her punishment without complaint. If this doesn't make her plead for help or mercy, I don't even want to imagine what she has suffered through to beg for it in her dreams.
Half an hour later there is a knock at my door.
"Come in," I call boredly. Levis enters. His gaze immediately slides to her. Displeasure, pity and then anger at me emanate from him.
"Why are you doing this?" he asks, upset.
"It's a test," I answer vaguely.
"A test of what?! Hasn't she been through enough already! Did you think you could have your fun with her too?" he yells angrily. I don't answer, just raise an eyebrow.
"She has been tortured for so long, I really thought better of you. I'm ashamed to be your friend."
"Are you done," I ask after he has finished his insult.
"No, I'm not," he says, turning to Lyn. With three big steps he approaches her and unties her. She falls limply into his arms. Obviously, she has fainted. Guilt and shame run through me, for I didn't realise she had lost consciousness.
"Her hands are all blue and cold, please explain to me how you can be so callous."
"I felt her emotions for the first time tonight and I wanted to find out if I could tease them out of her. But it didn't work. She doesn't respond to fear, exhaustion or humiliation."
"You're cruel, man," he whispers, lifting her into his arms.
"I'm just trying to help her," I justify myself, "she buries her feelings deep inside. She locks them away, but that eventually tears the soul and the spirit apart. She has to learn to let her feelings in again, but for that I have to find out which feeling is strong enough to overcome her inner barrier in the first place."
He looks at me for a long time before turning and leaving my office with her. I follow him to my room and watch him lay her on my bed.
"Alright, I'll help you," he then says to my surprise," but only if you give me your word that she will never be hurt again."
I nod briefly.
- Writer
