Love Fatefully

Did you ever have those moments when you were so scared and nervous that you wanted to vomit? Because I'm feeling it a hundred times over. I feel like I might pass out at any moment. I was not good at interacting with boys before much more seducing them. "Pia, are you listening?" Sean looks at me curiously. "Sorry. I was just thinking of something." I smiled nervously. "Are you okay? You're sweating. Do you feel hot? Should I turn on the air conditioner?" He asked worriedly. "Oh, ah yes it's a little bit warm in here, right?" I laughed awkwardly. "Uhm...yeah, I guess?" He weirdly looked at me glancing at my thick bathrobe. I'm wearing my bathrobe over my nightdress because I feel so exposed just thinking of what I'm about to do tonight. "Don't you want to change to your sleeping clothes? You would feel comfortable." He suggested which I know he's right. I'm just being silly. I chuckled forcefully. "I'll just pray and then I'll come back in thirty minutes." I literally sprinted towards my walk-in closet. Turns out I lasted two hours praying over and over again to give me strength in facing my dilemma. When I came back to bed Sean was already fast asleep. "Sean?" I called him quietly. "Are you awake?" I whispered. *Please be asleep. Please don't wake up.* I chanted to myself. I waited for a few more seconds. "Okay, I think you are asleep. We'll do it tomorrow then." I said quietly to myself. "Goodnight." I quickly lie down on my side of the bed and cover myself fully with a blanket.