Almost Yours

RAFAEL “How do you say goodbye?” I ask my reflection in the mirror, while spinning the ring on my middle finger. There’s no telling why or how I’ll overcome this overwhelming pain, not ever since the engagement was announced. Yet I have to, for the family, the business…and for Avyia. I owe her this much now that she’s leading a new life with my twin brother and joining my family. The only problem is she was marrying the wrong twin—all of her being dedicated to him when she was once mine, all mine. I shake my head, grounding myself from my misleading thoughts when a knock came on the door, followed by my butler Benedict entering the room. “It’s time, sir.” He announced, his face and every detail about him stern and imposing, one that hauntingly reminds me of the late Silveria patriarch. For the last time I glance at my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror, confirming nothing out of place, before leaving for the venue located downstairs of my family mansion. Waiting outside of the room, stood my second in command and cousin Tobias Silveria-Hernandez who’s as smug as ever in his clean suit, only that in that moment, his face falls when he sights the ring still on my finger. “Rafa. How are you holding up?” He asks with pity, like I was living with a terminal disease which only upsets me even more. “This is not the place and time for this,” I replied, in truth, trying to convince myself that it was a joyous celebration and not an occasion of tragedy. Refusing to let the subject go, he points out to my finger, “but you still have that,” and I heave a sigh, not knowing why I still have Avyia’s promise ring in my grip on the day of her wedding to my brother. If it wasn’t my position, this day will take a swift turn but this is my reality, and I have no choice but to accept it. “Let’s get this over and done with,” I grumble for the life of me, to which he nods in agreement and we make our way through the mansion before arriving at the wing designated for events within the family. As expected, a marriage between a high ranking member of the Silveria family and the Romano’s will attract quite a number of guests, all of which are invited. The large room is packed to the brim with both columns of seat occupied while the remainder choose to crowd the corner’s alongside members of the press and their clicking cameras. Right ahead at the altar is my twin brother Gabriel, all nervous and excited with the wide grin splitting his face. We were the splitting image of each other, with physical feature of dark hair, same shade of stormy gray eyes, and a tall frame. Which is as far as resemblance goes, because years of distinct experiences have taken all of our similarities away. I heave in a deep and purposeful breath before stepping into my impending doom, taking the noise away as I do. With Tobias by my side, all eyes remain on us, the ladies in peach batting their eyelashes while the men in suit tip their heads in respect. We make it to the front row and take our seats, while I actively avoid the gaze of my younger brother soon to be married to the love of my life. “You look stiff,” Tobias nudge me in the ribs, distracting me from my thoughts for a second. “I’m always stiff,” I reply like a whiny b***h. “Well this kind of stiff looks like there’s an arm shoved up your asshole.” He whispers, which earns him a glare from me. Even in the midst of the moment, I wouldn’t turn down a chance to wipe off the smug smirk on his face. I ignore him, pulling my phone out of my pocket before unlocking it. Coincidentally, to punish me more, my chat with Ava pops up on my screen, the last thing I looked at before putting the phone away earlier this morning. ‘I’m sorry’ I reread her final message to me for the umpteenth time. As if on cue, the sound of the piano filled the atmosphere and it felt like the room held its breath as the creak of the large doors opening joined the Bridal Chorus tune. Every head turned to the door behind, all except mine. I dared not look at Ava make her way down the aisle to Gabriel who’s already spotting tears in his eyes. I refuse to torture myself any further, yet I get a front row seat to their wedding, not only as the head of the family, but as a punishment for my own actions. Painstakingly, I stare right ahead, waiting for Ava to reach the altar, and when she finally did, the sight of her was to behold. She looked everything a Silveria bride would, even with her face covered in a white veil, her dress was exquisite and I for one knew she looked nothing short of an angel on earth. Through the sermon and the exchange of vows, it felt like I was being tortured with knives in my skin, piercing me deeply and leaving me to bleed out life. The peak of the pain was when the priest announced the couple as one, and Gabriel could kiss his bride. Perhaps I watched the way he lifted her veil to etch it into my memory that she wasn’t mine anymore. Or when he pressed his lips to hers to solidify the fact that Avyia was no more a Romano, and now a Silveria, my brother’s wife and part of my family, under my protection. I also looked around to see my family and the guests cheering them on with happiness, pretending to remain in the dark because my father handpicked her for his favorite son even when they all knew she was mine first. Yet, none of these reasons stopped me from dragging Ava back to my room that night.