The Thorn in my Side

BROOKLYN PRESENT DAY AGE 20: I stared at my phone as I reread the text from Jackson King sent 2 years ago. His text still haunts me to this day. He never did find me that day because that same afternoon I boarded a flight to Paris, France to see my parents and ended up living there for the past 2 years. I attended a prestigious university there to study in an art program. With just 2 years left, I am faced with the devastating reality that I am now returning to Starview, California, where I grew up and where I fled from Jackson King. I would have given anything to stay in Paris forever but with the death of my mother and my father wanting nothing more than to return home. I made the decision to move back with him. BROOKLYN AGE 18: "What's the matter, Brooklyn? Cat got your tongue?" Jackson taunts me. For the millionth time today, I question how I got myself into this situation. I have been cautious around Jackson ever since he made his declaration to change my mind about our friendship when we were 14 years old. I had just finished my class for the day and it was lunchtime when I headed to my locker to drop off my books. There on my locker written in big bold red letters were the words "Be Mine." Jackson stood next to my locker holding a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear in his arms. I didn't know what to say. He's never done anything like this before and I'm stunned. I stared at him closely for the next three minutes to try and gauge his face to see if he was just teasing me like usual or if he was serious. I couldn't tell from this far away so I marched up close to him and faced him. Closer up I could see him hold his breath and the sincerity of his intentions in his eyes. There was no hint of a lie or twitch or, at least, not anything to tell me otherwise. He's either serious or a really good liar. I steel my spine and slowly ask, "Jackson, what is the meaning of this? What are you doing?" "What does it look like Brooklyn? I want you to be mine. You don't like the flowers? How about this cute teddy bear? Doesn't it get my point across? What do you say? Give us a chance to explore this. I know you're attracted to me like I am to you." He says. "Why now? Ever since we were 10 years old you've never given me the time of day, let alone pay attention to me, unless you were making fun of me or retorting some sort of joke you thought was funny. It's always been anger and hate towards me. What's changed now?" I asked him wearily, almost afraid of his answer. It's always been simple between us. Why did he now have to go and complicate things? Life is good right now. I don't need him and I don't need his complications. He creates tension and frustration within me that I don't have any intentions of exploring, even though I want to give in to his suggestion. The curiosity in me is burning through. I guess that's why they say "Curiosity killed the cat." "What's changed is that ever since you turned 18, I have started to notice you more. You've grown from a short skinny girl into a full and beautiful woman. I can't stop thinking about you. I wake up with you and I go to bed with you." He says honestly. Well damn! What is a girl supposed to say to that? Of all the things I expected from Jackson King, it wasn't that. "Are you trying to tell me that you've changed your mind now because you've noticed how physically attractive I look and you want to what? See if you can seduce me until I fall in love with you and then you publicly dump and humiliate me in front of your friends just to prove a point?" I said to him, trying to see if I could shake his resolve. "Well, f**k! You saw right through my plan. How did you know? Was it the flowers and teddy bear? Did I outdo myself? I should have just stuck with my confession. That would have made me more believable." He says as my heart sinks and I quietly chastise myself for almost believing his lies. I was hoping I was wrong. I didn't know what I was doing. I just blurted out what was on my mind and hoped it wasn't true. I really wanted his confession to be real. "So, all of this is one big game for you?! How dare you do this in public and how dare you play with my emotions like that? What is wrong with you? Can't you just for once be a decent human being with a conscience instead of a grade A jerk?!" I shout at him as the whole school hears me and I storm off mortified and hurt. How could he do that to me? I won't ever recover from this. I will forever be known as the girl Jackson King proposed a relationship to only to have it be one big fat lie. What a joke! I decided to take the rest of the day off, letting the school nurse know I wasn't feeling well and to not call my parents. She was nice and took pity on me, so I walked the ten minutes home and now lay in my bed under the covers contemplating where my life had gone wrong. I got home two hours ago and realized I had the whole house to myself. I had forgotten my parents were away in Paris on vacation. Ever since I turned eighteen and my senior year of high school started, my parents started traveling more and leaving me at home by myself, which was fine because I am an adult now and I liked to have time and space to myself without any hovering. I am enjoying my blissful bubble when I hear a knock on my front door. I ignore it thinking I'm imagining it, but the insistent knocking is more forceful now and won't go away anytime soon. I screamed into my blankets and yelled "No one's home! Go away!" to whoever is at the door. The knocking continues as if the person didn't hear me, but now the banging on my door is rattling the house and I am afraid the door will come off its hinges if I don't go see who it is. I begrudgingly get out of bed and trail to the front door to open it and see who it is. The last person I expected to be there is standing there with his head hung low and as his dark brown eyes slowly snapped up to mine I realize too late that I had swung my door wide open without thinking. I quickly try to close the door in his face, but I'm too slow as Jackson pushes the door back open, slams it shut behind him, locks it and stalks angrily towards me, pushing me back with his hands wrapped around my neck, as my back hits the wall behind me and I'm trapped underneath his big body. His breath is now coming out in heavy pants and his eyes are wild. His hair looks disheveled like he was nervously running his fingers through it one too many times and now they sit on his head in all different directions. "What the f**k happened to you?! Why did you leave school early?!" He growls at me in a low voice. "What do you mean? I wasn't feeling well so I came home early to rest. The question is what are you doing here?" I said in response. "What am I doing here?! I expected to see you when the school bell rang but you were nowhere to be found. I waited for you in front of your locker but you never showed up. Imagine my surprise when I asked Lexi and Scarlet where you were and they both said they hadn't seen you. I had to find out from the school nurse that you had gone home early because you weren't feeling well!" He explains. "Wow! You just recapped everything I told you. Aren't you a smart cookie? Thanks for dropping by. I really appreciate it. Now can you please leave so that I can get back to my rest?" "I'm not leaving until you give me an explanation. I know you're not sick. You look fine." He says. I really didn't want to deal with him right now, so I tried to push him towards the door but he wouldn't budge from his position in front of me. "There's nothing to explain. I already told you that I'm not feeling well and I need to rest. Can you please leave me alone?" I said. "I will leave once you give me a believable explanation." He growls out. "Why?! Why does an explanation matter so much to you? You shouldn't worry about someone like me. I'm not worth your time. Go find someone else to shower your attention on." I said, hoping I could motivate him to leave. He dips his forehead to mine and starts breathing heavily. I can't help but inhale his strong masculine scent, his cedar smell wraps around me in a cocoon until all I can think about is him. "You matter to me, Brooklyn. I care about you. You're all I see. I can't go a day without seeing you. You're like oxygen to me." He softly and tenderly says. In the next instant, his lips are on mine and he's kissing me deeply and passionately. I'm so stunned that I'm frozen in place as his tongue moves expertly over mine. He licks around the seams of my lips trying to coerce my lips to open for him. Once my lips open up, his tongue delves inside as he fully explores the inside of my mouth, licking every corner and sucking softly. His body shields mine from the rest of the world as his hands slowly slide up my arms and rest on my shoulders. I can't believe this. Jackson King, the most popular boy in school, is kissing the ever loving lights out of me right now like he can't get enough of me. Butterflies start to form in my stomach and my nerve endings start to tingle and build like a fire come to life. Heat pools low in my belly and I swear I can feel my lady bits clench as he continues to kiss me feverishly. "Baby, I need you. Tell me you want this. That you want me. I can't stay away. It's too much." he confesses. "I...I...I...don't know what to say." I responded back, too shocked to say anything coherent. His lips dip back into mine as he lowers himself to carry me in his arms. He walks us into my bedroom and closes the door with his shoe before lowering us onto my bed. "Tell me yes, Brooklyn. Tell me you want us. That you feel these same intense feelings that I feel." he continues. What does he want me to say? I have no words. You can't just spring this onto a girl without any preparation. "I...uh...am really surprised right now that I have no words for you." I said. "You don't have to say anything. Just let me do the talking and I'll show you what you've been missing out on." He further says. His lips continue to devour me as his hands start to trail under my tank top and I curse myself for not putting on a shirt first before opening the door. "Jackson..." I said as I had to yank my lips away from him to get any words in. "What is it baby? Are you uncomfortable? Did you want to be on top?" he asks. "No! I need you to listen to me. This needs to stop. We're going too fast and this is getting out of hand. I don't need you filling my head with fantasies about what could be. You and I can never be anything, so just leave." I said. "Why not? Why must you always push me away? Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me and I will leave you alone," he says. "I...I can't tell you what you want to hear, Jackson." I said. "And why not Brooklyn? What are you afraid of? I know your heart is beating just as fast as mine is right now." He says as he places my hands over his beating heart and places his hands over my beating heart. I can't catch my breath. "Breathe baby. Breathe." Jackson says to me as my heart rate starts to come down and match the rhythm of his like we are one. My eyes slowly lift up to meet his as his stare bores down onto me, making me suck in a short gasp. "I am attracted to you but this is all wrong. We can't pursue anything. It won't go anywhere," I said. "You're killing me here baby. Why won't you take a chance on us?" he asks with pain in his voice. "If I give in, I know you're going to consume every waking hour and I'll fall madly in love with you...only to have you shatter my heart when you inevitably leave and decide that I'm not good enough for you. That's how guys like you function. Always waiting for the next hot girl to walk by. I can't be that for you. I won't survive." I explained. "Then give me a month to show you my feelings are real. Give me a month to show you my love and cement in your mind that there is no one else for you and that you are meant to be with me. To be mine. Please baby." Jackson declares. "Give me time to think about this. I need to process everything away from you. You're clouding my judgement right now and your smell. Your smell is driving me crazy! I need room to breathe." I blurt out as Jackson utters an apology and releases me while stepping away to give us some distance. "How long do you need to think about this Brooklyn?" Jackson asks. "Give me three days to think about it, please?" I said. "That's too long baby. I need you soon." he says. "This is insane! I can't believe I'm actually thinking about this." I mutter to myself, but he hears me. "I need an answer by tomorrow, Brooklyn," he proposed. "One day?! That's not even 24 hours! At least give me 24 hours!" I protested. "Fine! By the end of the day tomorrow I expect an answer from you. I hope you make the right decision, Brooklyn, because if you don't, I won't hold back. I will come find you. You don't want me to come find you. You know what will happen." he threatened. "I said I would think about it for 24 hours. Gee! No need to go around making ultimatums!" I retorted back. "I'm sorry for disturbing your rest. I will leave now so that you can think about my proposal. I'll see you tomorrow night with your answer. Please make me the happiest man alive." he says. The next night, with my decision made, I typed out to him a text message and hit send knowing I'd sealed my fate. "I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry Jackson." I was supposed to give him the answer he wanted in person but I just couldn't face him. I knew that if I did, my resolve would break and I would cave. I couldn't have that so I took the easy way out. Now I'm hiding out at my cousin Daria's house. She's on the other side of town and somewhere Jackson would never look. "I told you to meet me in person and that if I didn't see you I would come find you. Well, you better be f*****g prepared because I'm f*****g coming for you and when I find you we are finishing this! Mark my words! You can't hide forever. I will find you!" Jackson's message came through, shaking me to my core. I have to get out of here. I can't stay. Just then, my phone rings and I see it's a call from my father in Paris.