I'll Marry the Fifth Prince in this Life!

HER MOTHER died giving birth to her. From the moment she took her first breath, she was treated as a curse. Her father, overwhelmed by grief, looked at her and saw only the woman he had lost. The promise he once made to love their child no matter what was shattered along with his heart. Her older brother, who had sworn to protect her, instead turned his pain into cruelty, blaming her for their mother’s death and making sure she never forgot it. She grew up abandoned within her own home. Fed, clothed, and housed, yet never loved. And as if the world itself wished to confirm her worthlessness, she was born powerless in a land cherished by spirits. Where others were blessed, chosen, and revered, she was untouched. No whisper of magic answered her call. It was as though even the spirits had turned their backs on her. So, she accepted it. She accepted that her mother had died because of her. She accepted that she did not deserve love, from her family, from others, from anyone at all. When her cold and ruthless father arranged her marriage to the crown prince, she did not resist. She bowed her head and agreed, just as she always had. She did not hope. Hope was a luxury for the loved. And she was right. The crown prince didn’t want her either. On their wedding night, he told her plainly that he loved another. He was bound by duty, nothing more. She would be his queen in name, a figure for the people to adore, while his heart belonged elsewhere. The kingdom whispered, and she endured. She kept silent, smiled when required, and ruled beside a man who never once looked at her with affection. Every night, she prayed to die. And at last, the world answered. The fifth prince rose in rebellion. Her husband was killed, and she knew she would be next. Prince Sebastian was colder and more ruthless than her father, and the death of the queen was a necessary step in securing his throne. She did not flee. She remained seated on the throne meant for a queen, waiting. Her wish was finally coming true. He arrived that same night. A blood-soaked sword hung from his right hand. In his left hand, he held the severed head of her husband. He tossed it toward her, and it rolled to her feet, staring sightlessly upward. She didn’t flinch or scream. Outside, the palace burned with chaos and rebellion. Inside the chamber, silence reigned. She sighed, rose from the throne, and walked toward him with quiet grace. She knelt before him, bowed her head, and clasped her hands as though in prayer. “Is this what you want?” The fifth prince asked. “I have been waiting patiently for this moment,” She replied, her voice calm and steady. “Any last words?” She lifted her head at last. “I only hope you also killed my father and brother.” There was a long pause. For a moment, she remembered her hardships while in their care. “Thank you for freeing me from this dull life, Prince Sebastian. May your reign bring you happiness and fulfillment, unlike mine.” She added softly and lowered her head again. Her words were sincere. And for the first time in her life, she felt at peace. AND THAT WAS HOW I remembered my first life. I woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for air as if my lungs had forgotten how to breathe. My hands instantly flew to my neck, my fingers digging into warm and unbroken skin, yet the memory lingered. I could still feel it. The sharp, searing pain of the sword as it sliced through my throat, stealing my breath and my life. I looked around the room. Familiarity washed over me. This was my room from the days I studied at the Academy. When I realized the spirits had given me another chance at life, laughter spilled from my lips, wild and unrestrained, as I stared at the ceiling. “Is this real?” I asked myself, still laughing like a mad woman, but the laughter didn’t last. It cracked, twisted, and dissolved into quiet sobs before I even realized what was happening. Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision. I covered my face with my hands and cried in silence. I just couldn’t believe it. Had the spirits taken pity on me and turned back time to the days when I was still young? I sat up on my bed. Gratitude never crossed my mind. If this were a second chance, then it was nothing more than a tool I intended to use properly. What mattered was simple, I would never walk the same path again. That future had already proven its worthlessness. To change the outcome, I need preparation. What I need is a plan. As I arranged my thoughts, a soft knock echoed through the room. The door opened slowly. A young girl stepped inside, smiling. I recognized her immediately. “Good morning, Tatiana,” She said, her smile unwavering. I studied her in silence. The expression, the posture, and the warmth in her voice. It was all carefully crafted. I had mistaken it for sincerity once. This was the woman who had embedded herself into my life at the Academy, who had earned my trust with ease, and used my name as a stepping stone to her own success. And when she got what she wanted from me, she tossed me aside and spread rumors about me. “Did you sleep well on your first night here in the dormitory?” She moved closer and sat beside me, taking my hand in hers. The touch was gentle, as always. “I know your first day wasn’t that great, but I want you to know that I’m here for you.” Her words were once my comfort, but this time, I know it was all a lie, delivered flawlessly, to fool me. I suppressed the urge to pull my hand away. Acting now would accomplish nothing. In my first life, I trusted too easily, but that would not happen again. Anger was a blunt weapon. I needed something sharper. I met her eyes and allowed a small smile to form. “Thank you, Emilia.” The same words as before. The difference was that this time, I understood exactly what they were worth. “Get yourself ready. The first class will start at exactly nine. I already have your class schedule. I will give it to you once you finish dressing up.” She left without hesitation. The door closed. My eyes remained there for a long time. My hands clenched slowly, not from rage, but from resolve. I want Emilia to believe she was in control. I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I fastened the buttons of my uniform. There I was, the same face of the woman who died giving birth to me, whom I always hated. My family was known as the most powerful fire spirit wielders in this land. The duke himself had tamed the Phoenix, the highest form of fire spirit, while my older brother summoned a Blazehound, the most proud but loyal of all fire spirits. They were someone I always adored and longed to have familial bonds with. And in my first life, I had never been chosen by any spirit at all, and their treatment of me worsened. I shook my head and slapped my cheeks lightly. How foolish I had been as a child. I followed them like a shadow, clinging to scraps of affection. I begged for their love, endured their coldness, and prayed to the spirits every night that one day, their hearts would change, but years passed, and nothing did. Their resentment remained sharp and unyielding. Little by little, I learned to accept it. I stopped expecting warmth. I stopped reaching out. As I grew older, I also grew distant. My emotions dulled, then faded altogether. I no longer smiled, no longer laughed, and no longer cried. It was as though my heart had frozen over. I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t know what happiness felt like. Every day became something to endure, a weight pressing down on my chest. The burden grew heavier with each passing year until one day, I realized I no longer wished to live at all. And so, the spirits answered me. They brought the fifth prince, Prince Sebastian, into my life, as the final form of the wish I had never dared to voice aloud. A realization struck me suddenly. That’s right, the fifth prince is also studying at the Academy. In my past life, I knew we were the same age, yet I had never met him here. The old king, his father, told me that Prince Sebastian never had friends since childhood. He never sought companionship and never spoke more than five words unless necessary. He preferred solitude, silence, and distance. And yet, the king spoke highly of him. A soft smile formed on my lips as memories of the old king surfaced. He was the only person in my life who had ever treated me with genuine kindness. The only one who looked at me not as a burden, not as a curse, but as a daughter. His words always made me cry back then, which was terribly embarrassing, because he would only laugh gently and comfort me. He felt more like my father than my real one ever did. I want to see him again. I miss him more than I can express. I also wish to meet Prince Sebastian earlier in this life. I want to see him as he was before blood, before rebellion, before the throne soaked in death. I hope that this time, we can be friends. I smiled at the thought, even though I knew it was foolish of me. In my past life, I often caught him staring at me from a distance, but the moment our eyes met, he would always look away. I am not afraid of him. If anything, I feel drawn to him. This time, I am determined to know him properly. I will look for him around the Academy after class ends. In my past life, when the crown prince finally ascended the throne and became king, he sent his younger brother to the frontline. The fifth prince was ordered to fight the monsters that roamed the borders of the empire. I heard countless rumors about how brutal the battlefield was, how soldiers died every day, and how many times Prince Sebastian had stood on the edge of death itself. And then, on the very first day he returned to the palace, he began a rebellion. “Finished dressing up, Tatiana?” When I stepped out of the room, Emilia was still waiting. She was sipping tea leisurely, a book in her hand. I remembered then that we were assigned the same dormitory room, though we still have our own small, private room. Even as the only daughter of Duke Alexandria, I had never lived like a noble. The children of high-ranking families were given private chambers, personal maids, and endless comfort. I had none of that. All I possessed was the family name, hollow and meaningless, because I was the cursed and powerless Tatiana Franceska Alexandria. I was alone, but I was still grateful to the duke for allowing me to study at the Academy at all. Even without a spirit, I was permitted to remain. After all, in this land, all children were required to attend. “Yes, Emilia. Let’s go.” I did not wait for her to finish her tea. I turned and left the room without looking back. “Wait, Tatiana!” I didn’t stop. In my first life, I had always rushed after her, listening silently as she complained about how slow, how careless, and how incompetent I was. I had swallowed every word without protest, but not this time. In this life, she would be the one chasing. Let’s see how long she can maintain her gentle mask. I stopped in front of the classroom door. Footsteps hurried behind me, followed by uneven breathing. “How did you know this is our classroom, Tatiana?” Emilia asked, trying to sound calm. “I haven’t given you your schedule yet.” “I don’t know,” I replied indifferently. “Instinct, maybe.” I opened the door. All eyes turned toward me at once. I met their gazes one by one. The same judgmental stares I once feared. I felt nothing now. Thinking back on my time as the queen, it was way worse than this. Emilia hurried ahead and stood in front of me, as if shielding me from them. “What are you looking at?” She snapped, her voice sharp with false concern. I almost rolled my eyes. I walked past her and took an empty seat near the window. She quickly followed and sat beside me, leaning closer as she always did. “Are you okay, Tatiana?” She whispered. “I feel sick,” I replied flatly, staring straight ahead. “It’s okay. I’m here now. I will always protect you.” I could hear the smile in her voice. I knew she wasn’t protecting me. She was protecting the version of me she needed to exist. THE CLASS ENDED. I was finally by myself this evening. Emilia followed me around all day, smiling sweetly and speaking gently. It was exhausting. I could easily push her aside, expose her lies, and tear off that gentle mask she wore so perfectly, but I had other plans for her. Rushing things would only alert her. And this time, I wanted her to fall without realizing she was already falling. So, I endured her presence. As I walked alone through the Academy grounds, the noise of the classrooms fading behind me, I could still feel their stares clinging to my back. Eyes followed my every step. In my first life, I would have lowered my head. I would have pretended not to hear, not to see, not to exist. I only ever dared to walk properly when Emilia was beside me, because I believed her presence made me safe. I walk alone now. My back was straight like a ruler. My shoulders were held high. My gaze was sharp, steady, and unyielding, fixed on the path ahead. I walked the way I had been taught to walk as a queen, but never once dared to. I had no idea where to find Prince Sebastian. I never did, even in my first life. I only knew that after classes ended, he disappeared. No one ever saw him socialize or even eat with others. He existed at the edges of everything, like a ghost even among nobles. So, I wandered around. Through the marble corridors lined with spirit crests. Past the training fields where laughter and magic clashed loudly. Across the open courtyards where students gathered in circles around their familiars. I looked for silver hair, for ash-gray eyes, for the quiet presence that once ended my life. “That’s the cursed lady of the Alexandria household, right?” The whisper was soft, but it carried. “I heard she hasn’t summoned a spirit. Why is she even here at the Academy?” No one answered. “She’s got some nerve, walking around like that after disgracing her family’s name.” Their words brushed against me like cold wind. They shattered me before. They only stirred memories now. They were talking about that day. The day my life truly ended for the first time. I was six years old. The age when children were summoned to the church, where spirits descended to choose their wielders. I remember standing in line with other children, my hands trembling, my heart racing with foolish hope. And when it was finally my turn, nothing happened. The spirits didn’t answer me. I walked back alone, empty-handed, surrounded by murmurs that followed me like a curse. The duke, my father, did not speak to me at first. He only stared. His eyes were colder, burning with disappointment, and his spirit appeared when he couldn’t hide his anger anymore. Its flames roared through the room, wild and furious, as if reflecting his rage. I remember his hand gripping my wrist, pulling me closer. The heat was unbearable. I screamed. I still have the scar. My fingers brushed against my wrist unconsciously as I walked. A pale, twisted reminder of the day my own father almost burned me to death for being useless. I didn’t even know how I survived. I just woke up the next day in my bed. No apology. No explanation. No comfort. I lowered my hand and continued walking, my steps firm against the stone path. I had already lived a lifetime of shame. I had already died once. I sank onto a wooden bench as the ache in my feet finally caught up with me. I had been wandering the Academy for almost an hour, but Prince Sebastian was nowhere to be found. “Where are you hiding?” I murmured. The sky had begun to darken. The dormitory gates would close at seven. I sighed and leaned back. “I should stop for today and continue tomorrow.” My voice sounded calmer than I felt. “I don’t even know which classroom you’re in, and I’d rather not spend my second night in the Academy sleeping outside.” For a moment, I stared up at the sky. Even after everything, a small part of me felt disappointed. Not because I failed to find him, but because I wanted to see him sooner.