SELF-DISCIPLINE AND CHARACTER
The development of character is the great business of life. Your ability to develop a reputation as a person of character and honor is the highest achievement of both social and business life. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote "what you do, speaks so loudly that I cannot hear a word that you say". The person you are today, your innermost character, is the sum total of all your choices and decisions in life up to this date. Each time you have chosen rightly and acted consistently with the very best that you know, you have strengthened your character and become a better person. The reverse is also true: Each time you have compromised, taken the easy way, or behaved in a manner inconsistent with what you knew to be right, you have weakened your character and softened your personality.
THE GREAT VIRTUES
There are a series of virtues or values that are usually possessed by a person of character. These are courage, compassion, generosity, temperance, persistence, and friendliness, among others. coming before all the values is the most important one of all when determining the depth and strength of your character which is " integrity "
INTEGRITY
it is your level of integrity, living in complete truth with yourself and others, that demonstrate more than anything else the quality of your character. In a way integrity is actually the value that guarantees all other values. When your level of integrity is higher, you are more honest with yourself and more likely to live consistently with all the other values that you admire and respect. However, it takes tremendous self-discipline to become a person of character. It takes considerable will power to takes both self-discipline and will power to resist the temptation to cut corners, take the easy way or act for short- term advantage. All of life is a test, to see what you are really made of deep, down inside. Wisdom can be developed in private through study and reflection, but character can be developed only in the give and take of daily life, when you are forced to choose and decide among alternative and temptations.
THE TEST OF CHARACTER
It is only when you are under pressure when you are forced to choose one way or another, to either live consistently with a value or to compromise it that you will demonstrate your true character. Emerson also said, "Guard your integrity as a sacred thing; nothing at last is sacred except the integrity of your own mind". You are a "choosing organism." You are constantly making choices, one way or the other. Every choice you make is a statement about your true values and priorities. At each moment, you choose what is more important or of higher value to you over what is less important of lesser value. The only bulwark against temptation, the path of least resistance, and the expediency factor is character. The only way that you can develop your full character is by exerting you will power in every situation when you are tempted to do what is easy and expedient rather than what is correct and necessary.
THE BIG PAYOFF
The payoff for becoming a person of character, for exerting your will power and self-discipline to live consistently with the very best that you know, is tremendous. when you choose the higher value over the lower, the more difficult over the easy, the right over the wrong, you feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem increases. You like and respect yourself more. You have a greater sense of personal pride. In addition to feeling excellent about yourself when you behave with character , you also earn the respect and esteem of all the people around you. They will look up to you and admire you. Doors will be opened for you. People will help you. You will be paid more, promoted faster, and given even greater responsibilities. As you become a person of honor and character, opportunities will appear all around you. On the other hand, you can have all the intelligence, talent, and ability in the world, but if people do not trust you, you will never get ahead. People will not hire you and if they do, they will dehire you as soon as possible. Financial institutions will not lend you money. Because "bird of a feather flock together," the only associates (never friends) you will have will be other people of questionable character. Furthermore, since the people you associate with have a major effect on your attitude and personality, you make or break your entire life with the quality of your character or the lack thereof.
THE DEVELOPMENT OF CHARACTER
Aristotle wrote, " All advancement in society begins with the development of the character of the young ." This means that advancement in your life begins with the learning and practice of values. You learn values in one or all of three ways: instruction, study, and practice. Let's look at each of these more closely.
1: Teach Your Children Values:One of the chief roles of parenting is to teach children values. This requires patient instruction and explaining values to them over and over again as they are growing up. Once is never enough. The value and the important of living by that value must also contrast the adherence to a value, especially that of telling the truth with its opposite, that of lying or telling half- truths. Children are very susceptible to the lessons they receive from the important people in their lives as they are growing up. They accept what you say as their parent as a fact, as absolute truth. They absorb what you say like sponge. You write your description of values on their souls, which are like wet clay, so that what you write becomes relate to life.
2: Study The Values You Admire: You learn values by studying them closely. The law of concentration says that " whatever you dwell upon grows and increases in your life." What this means is that when you study and read stories about men and women who demonstrated the kind of values that you admire and respect, and then think about those stories and that behavior, those values sink ever deeper into your mind. Once these values are " programmed " into your subconscious, they create a propensity within you to behave consistently with those values when the situation requires them. For example, in military training, soldiers are continually told stories of courage, obedience, discipline and the importance of supporting their fellow soldiers. The more they hear these stories, discuss them, and think about them, the more likely they are to behave consistently with these values when they are under the pressure of actual combat. The core virtue of character is truth. Whenever you tell the truth, however inconvenient it may be at the time, you feel better about yourself and you earn the respect of people around you. One of the highest accolades you can pay another person is to say that " he or she always tells the truth"
3:Emulate the People You Most Admire: Much of your character is determined by the people you most admire, both living and dead. Who are they? Looking over your life and history, make a list of the people whom you most admire, and next to their names, write out the virtues or values that they most represent to you. If you could spend an afternoon with anyone, living or dead, what one person would you choose? Why would you choose that person? What questions would you ask, or what would you want to learn? Consider this as well: Why would that person want to spend an afternoon with you? What are the virtues and values that you have developed that make you a valuable and interesting person? What makes you special?
4: Practice the Value You Respect: You develop values by practicing them whenever they are called for. As the Roman Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, " Circumstances do not make the man; they merely reveal him to himself." When a problem occurs, people tend to react automatically based on the highest values that they have developed up to that moment. We develop values by repetition, by behaving consistently with a particular value over and over again, until it becomes a habit, and locks in so that we come to practice it automatically. Men and women with highly developed character behave in a manner consistent with their highest values, and they do so without thought or hesitation. There is no question in their minds about whether or not they are doing the right thing.
THE STRUCTURE OF PERSONALITY
The psychology of character involves the three parts of your self-esteem.
1: Your Self-Ideal: Your Self-Ideal is that part of your mind composed of your values, virtues, ideals, goals, aspirations, and your idea of the very best person that you can possibly be. In other words, your self-ideal is composed of those values that you most admire in others and most aspire to posses in yourself. The most important part of your self-ideal is summarized in the word "clarity." Superior people are those who are absolutely clear about who they are and what they believe. They have complete clarity about the values they believe in and what they stand for. They are not confused or indecisive. They are firm and resolute when it comes to any decision in which a value is involved. On the other hand, weak and irresolute people are fuzzy and unclear about thier values. They have only a vague notion of what is right or wrong in any situation. As a result, they take the path of least resistance and act expediently. They do whatever seems to be faster and easiest thing to get what they want in the short term, giving little to no consideration or concern about the consequences of their acts.
The Evolution of Character: In biology, life forms are categorized from the least to the most complex, from single-celled plankton all the way up the increasingly human beings can be organized along a spectrum as well, from the least to the most developed. The lowest forms of humans are those with no values, virtues, or character. These people always act expediently and take the path of least resistance in their search for immediate gratification.
2: Your Self-Image: Your Inner Mirror: The second part of your personality is your self-image. This is the way we see and think about ourselves, especially prior to any event of importance. People always tend to behave on the outside consistently with the way they see themselves on the inside. This is often our " inner mirror" into which we peer before we engage in any behavior. When yourself as calm, positive, truthful, and possessed of high character, you behave with greater strength and personal power. Other people respect you more. You feel I'm control of yourself and the situation. What's more, whenever you actually behave in a manner that is consistent with your highest values, your self-image improves. You see and think about yourself in a better light. You see and think about yourself in a better light. You feel happier and confident. Your behaviour and out ward performance then reflect this increasing improving inner picture you have of yourself as the very best person you can possibly be.
3: Your Self-Esteem: How Much You Like Yourself: The third part of your personality is your self-esteem. This is how you feel about yourself, your emotional core. Your self-esteem is defined as " how much you like yourself, " but it's more than only this. The more you see yourself as valuable and important person, the more positive and optimistic you will be. When you truly consider yourself to be important and worthwhile, you will treat other people as if they are important as well. Your self-esteem is largely determined by how consistent your self-image , which shapes your personal behavior, is with your self-ideal or your vision of the very best person you can possibly be.
