Always Into You

Death's persuasion - Chapter 9

Tanya's POV

The last thing I remembered was the feeling of the whiskey passing down my throat.

Then darkness.

Joanna wasn’t supposed to come home that night. She had a gallery showing, something she had been excited about for weeks. If she hadn’t forgotten her phone charger, she wouldn’t have walked through the door at all.

She wouldn’t have found me.

But she did.

Joanna had barely made it two steps inside before she saw me sprawled on the floor, my body limp, my skin too pale. The smell of alcohol was thick in the air, empty bottles scattered around me like the aftermath of a disaster.

Her heart stopped.

“Tanya?” she whispered, frozen in place.

No response.

Her chest tightened. A horrible, suffocating kind of fear wrapped around her lungs.

“No. No, no, no, no” She dropped to her knees beside me, shaking my shoulders. “Tanya, wake up! Please!”

Nothing.

I wasn’t moving.

Joanna’s breath hitched. She fumbled her phone, hands shaking so badly she nearly dropped it. She didn’t even know what she was saying when the emergency operator answered just screaming for help, for someone to come, for me to wake up.

I didn’t.

And Joanna sobbed, gripping my lifeless hand, terrified that she was too late.

When Maico heard what happened, he was at the hospital within minutes.

He found Joanna in the waiting room, curled up in one of the stiff plastic chairs, her hands clenched together, eyes red from crying.

The sight of her like that the raw fear on her face made something tighten in Maico’s chest.

He didn’t think. Just walked over and sat next to her.

Joanna barely acknowledged him at first, staring straight ahead, her jaw clenched like she was trying not to shatter.

“She wasn’t breathing,” she whispered finally. Her voice was hoarse, broken. “She was just… lying there. I thought” Her breath caught, and she wiped at her face furiously. “I thought she was dead.”

Maico exhaled slowly. He wasn’t good at this the whole comforting people thing. But he wasn’t about to leave her sitting here, drowning in her own panic.

So he just reached out and grabbed her hand.

Joanna flinched at first. Then, slowly, she gripped his hand back.

“She’s strong,” Maico said quietly. “She’ll pull through.”

Joanna let out a bitter, shaky laugh. “You didn’t see her.” She turned to face him, her expression filled with guilt and helplessness. “She was she was completely gone, Maico. She gave up. And I didn’t even notice.”

Her voice broke at the last word.

Maico clenched his jaw. Because he understood that feeling too well the crushing weight of realizing you weren’t there when someone needed you most.

He tightened his grip on her hand. “She’s still here.”

Joanna swallowed hard. Then nodded.

But neither of them let go.

Darkness.

I was floating in it.

Not the soft, comforting kind you sink into at the end of a long day. No, this was different. It was endless, heavy, and suffocating, like I was drowning in ink.

I didn’t remember falling asleep. I didn’t remember anything. Just the burn of whiskey, then nothing.

Then

"You never learn, do you?"

The voice came from nowhere and everywhere at once. It was smooth, sharp, and so terribly familiar.

I turned.

And there she was.

Me.

Or rather, the version of me I didn’t like to face.

She stood with her arms crossed, her expression filled with something between amusement and disappointment. Her lips curved into a smirk my smirk the one I wore when I pretended nothing could touch me.

"You’re so predictable," she continued, circling me like a vulture. "Something goes wrong, and what do you do? You drown yourself in booze and self-pity until you finally collapse. Classic Tanya."

I clenched my fists. "Shut up."

She laughed. "Make me."

I hated her.

I hated that she wasn’t wrong.

She stopped in front of me, tilting her head. "You could’ve died, you know."

I swallowed.

"You wanted to die, didn’t you?" she pressed, her voice quieter now, almost gentle. "Because that would be easier than actually fixing your mess, right?"

My stomach twisted.

I shook my head. "I just… I just wanted it to stop."

Her look softened, and for a moment, I thought she might actually offer me comfort and relief.

But then she smiled again, and this time, it was eerie.

She shoved me.

And suddenly, I was falling...

Gasp.

I sucked in the air so sharply my chest ached. My eyes snapped open, and the blinding white of the hospital room burned into me. Machines beeped in a steady rhythm, and my whole body felt like it had been wrung out and left to dry.

I was alive.

Barely.

Something warm squeezed my hand.

I turned my head, fast and slow, and saw Joanna. Her face was white, her eyes are red.

The moment she saw me looking at her, she let out a breath so shaky it almost broke me.

"Tanya?" she whispered, as if afraid I’d disappear.

I tried to speak, but my throat was dry, my voice barely above a rasp. "Hey."

Joanna made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob before gripping my hand even tighter.

Maico was there too, standing stiffly on the other side of the bed, arms crossed like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. His usual detached expression cracked, just for a second.

"You scared the hell out of us," he said.

I licked my lips, my mouth dry as sand. "Sorry."

Joanna let out a wet laugh.

Silence between us, thick and heavy. I could still feel the weight of my own ghost lingering in my chest. The part of me that wanted to self-destruct. The part of me that had nearly won.

But not today.

I was still here.

And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure if that was a curse or a second chance.

Now after that incident me and Joanna started to move into another apartment.