A Home For Christmas

Julia The snow beneath my feet crunches with every step I take, and a cloud of smoke leaves my mouth as I take a breath while the cold night air wraps around me like a blanket, only there's no comfort from it, it only makes my fingers and nose burn even more with how cold they are. I wrap my arms around my body as tightly as I can, but I only have on a tee shirt and hoody, so there's not much hope of me getting warm anytime soon. Any feeling in my fingers and toes stopped ages ago, and I'm pretty sure that if it was possible, my nose would fall off at any second. I swear it feels so numb that you'd think that it was frozen. The holes in my shoes are not helping my situation, and neither is the fact that I'm wearing the thinnest pair of leggings that I have ever owned, but beggars can't be choosers and, unfortunately, for me, begging is part of my life. As I walk across the front of a coffee shop, I stop in my tracks and take a moment to just enjoy the sight that's in front of me. The place is full of people just enjoying their day while Christmas music plays in the background. A waitress walks in my line of sight with a box overflowing with Christmas decorations and for the first time today, I smile. Christmas is my favorite time of year and even if I haven't been able to celebrate it in a long time, I will never not love it. As the waitress starts decorating a tall tree in the corner of the coffee shop, I continue to look around. The place looks so cozy and warm that the sight alone makes my whole body ache. What I would give to just sit in that place, just to feel the warmth, even for just a few moments. I've loved Christmas since I was a little girl, the magic and happiness that it brings and everything else, but more than anything I've always loved a white Christmas. Seeing the streets of New York City covered in a blanket of snow always makes this time of year just perfect. Well, I used to love a white Christmas, but now a white Christmas makes my life even harder, and this year... well, this year we are having the worst snow that New York has seen in almost ten years, and I'm struggling... struggling to survive it. As I feel tears glaze my eyes, I turn and walk away from the coffee shop and down the dark dingy alleyway that runs along the side of the coffee shop. As I make it to the end, I turn and head for the five tall trash cans that are at the back entrance and I get stuck into my nightly routine. Looking for food. I've been in pretty much every trash can in this city, but this place always gets rid of the best food. On a good day, I'm usually able to find some meals still in the containers and everything is always still in date and fresh. Hopefully, I can find enough food for the others too. They've been struggling to find food lately because it's so cold that it's freezing before we get to it, which is why I'm here now at this time. Usually, I only come here after the place closes to be careful, but right now I can't afford to wait too long, or we won't eat tonight and, more importantly, neither will Nina. Within half an hour, I am walking out of the alley with a bag full of food and feeling insanely grateful for it. I have enough for everyone and I know that they will appreciate it. I take my time getting out of the alley without being noticed, then make quick work of heading back home. I come to a crossing and start walking across the road when a sudden loud screech makes me jump and almost drop my food right before a car comes to a sharp stop right beside me. "What the f**k!" I give him the middle finger and carry on walking across the road eager to just get home to Nina and warm up. "Hey, Miss." I turn when I hear a deep voice calling out only to find a guy getting out of the back of the car that just almost hit me. "I'm so sorry about that. I distracted my driver." he steps closer to me with a sheepish look on his face and I feel the air leave my lungs and, for once, it isn't because of the cold. As he comes to a stop right in front of me, I realize how tall he is. I would say he is at least 6ft 4/5 and, compared to my 5 ft 4 height, he looks like a Goddam giant. A Goddam Greek giant. His bright blue eyes feel like they pierce through my soul and, even with layers on, it's clear to see that he is insanely broad and muscular and that thought alone is enough to take my breath away. "Miss, are you OK? Miss!" s**t, I was so completely distracted checking him out that I hadn't even realized that he was talking to me. "Huh, yeah I'm fine. Thank... thank you." I turn to leave, but he steps in my way and stops me by holding onto my arm. This guy reeks of money, designer labels, and expensive cologne while I'm here wearing second-hand clothes that I found in a dumpster four months ago and have been wearing every day since. And as for perfume, hell, I haven't worn that in a very long time. These days, I'm lucky if I've managed to have a wash in the public toilets downtown and get to smell of their cheap hand soap for a few hours. Unfortunately, for me, I haven't had that luxury for several days. At first, we couldn't use the toilets due to them being closed for maintenance, then once we could finally get in there, there was only enough soap for one person and, of course, Nina came first. "Miss, is everything OK?" f**k, I got distracted again. Letting my mind run away with me has been a trade that I have had all of my life and is an absolute pain in the ass most of the time. "Yes, I'm OK. I'm sorry, I'm... I need to go." I pull my arm free from his gentle hold, smile at him, then get myself away from him as quickly as my short legs can move, then just before I head into my alley, I turn around to find the man still standing on the crossway staring my way. Why hasn't he left yet? He may be the hottest guy that I have ever seen in my life, but this feels a little creepy. Not wanting him to see where I'm going, I walk past the entrance to the alley and head towards the small corner shop. As I get to the entrance, I look back and see his car drive past me. Thank God for that. As soon as he is out of sight, I turn back around and run for the alley eager to get back. Once I finally get back to everyone, they are more than happy with the food that I have managed to get tonight, and it doesn't take long for us to all get seated around the fire that Scrapper has made, the heat quickly warming up my toes enough so that they no longer feel numb. "Mommy!" a small pair of arms wrap around my neck as Nina jumps into my lap and hugs me tight. "Hi, baby girl." Nina is only three years old and the cutest little girl in the world. Her long brown hair falls down to her bum and her brown eyes are like chocolate and, despite our situation, she is the happiest little girl. "Where have you been, Momma?" "To get this." her little face lights up when she sees how much food I've got and, as always, it breaks my heart just that little bit more. "Come on, let's get your tummy nice and full before bed. And that is how our night went, with full stomachs, warmth from the fire, and a smile on our faces, something that is pretty rare these days... I'm going to miss this place and these people when we leave, but I have no choice. I have to get Nina out of here, and soon, there's no other way.