Beyond a Reflection

Almost all of the people I know grew up with their own fantasies. They were hoping that their lives would be royal like princesses, magical like fairies, courageous like heroes but that's not the case when you are talking about me. As I grow up, I've never dreamed to be a princess, being a fairy, or a hero. I just wanted to live an uneventful life. A peaceful one. My grandmother always reminds me to be more "lady-like" since I'm now a developing lady yet I'm acting like a "cool" delinquent, they say. According to her, it's not appropriate for a 16-year-old girl. She said that I should spend my time shopping for dresses and getting my nails polished while hanging out with my friends even though I don't have one. I just ignored her idea and continued the way I lived. What can I gain from doing those? Being able to absorb the essence of being a fully grown lady? Nah, I don't want to. It's not like I don't want to be a female, it's just that, I need to be like "this" and instead of spending my time and money on useless things, I'd rather work my a*s off to earn some money. We're already poor yet I can't believe my old lady can speak words about spending money on unnecessary things. I lived with my grandma for almost half of my life. Therefore, I witnessed her ups and downs, her happy and sad times, all of it. I also witnessed how she blame herself for not stopping my mother and sibling to leave when I was 8. Grandma had a rough time herself that's why I can't afford to enjoy my life while I witness her suffer. It felt so illegal. "Grueli," a deep voice spoke beside me, making me flinch a little. My eyes widened when I saw the neutral face of my homeroom adviser— Mr. Isaiah Lovewort. He glanced at me with his sharp gazes and continued walking around the classroom while his hands are on his back as if he was inspecting every student just by looking at them. When I saw he was already away from me, I rested my back on my seat and sighed in relief as I wipe my sweat on my forehead using the back of my arm. "Kenny, stop dreaming of Vaughn during an exam," one of my classmates said in a teasing voice and suddenly, faint laughter enveloped our classroom. I glanced at the most popular boy here at school that's being treated like a campus heartthrob— Vaughn Velasco. I can't argue that he has this charismatic look. He's just busy answering his test papers while pretending that he didn't hear what my classmate had said. Instead of complaining and being pissed, I raised my brows and secretly moved my foot sidewards when I confirmed that no one is looking. I put it against the seat of my classmate who said those words and intentionally kicked it. As a result, she fell off her chair and started crying like a baby causing her to catch more attention. While me, I just whistled and looked out of the window as I pretend that I'm not guilty. Our adviser rushed towards her and asked my classmates about what happened and as expected, they all pointed at me. After all, they put their blame on me always. I looked at them with an innocent face and raised my brows as if I was asking them what's the matter. "It's definitely Kenny's fault! They're seatmates and she's the only one who can pull that dirty trick!" a girl in pigtails pointed at me as if she was sure that it was me. "Really? Do you have some evidence?" I wanted to say those words but I chose to remain silent. The majority of the girls agreed with her and they kept saying that it was my fault since all the people here in the class knew that I and this feeling victim girl were rivals— though I don't see her as one. They are all chanting that it's my fault, and by chance, I caught a glance of that victimized girl smirking, and any minute she will cry again when she notices that someone is looking at her. Our classmates supported and help her back to her seat as if I made her disabled or what while my other classmates were still chanting that I should be charged for what I did. So touching. I just rolled my eyes and looked at them using my unbothered look causing them to be terrified a bit since they already knew that everything that they do won’t affect me. They even entitled me as a "delinquent." Our homeroom teacher sighed and looked at us sharply. In a second, the chaotic classroom became quiet and the students were already seated again but they kept glaring at me. Mr. Lovewort looked at me and I looked back at him, unfazed. Our staring contest lasts a minute before he let out a word. "It's your fault, right?" he said confidently, siding with my classmates. I crossed my arms and looked away as I smirked. Nothing less from Mr. Perfect. I'm just playing around yet he is so serious. When I was about to release my statement and admit what I had done to end this fun, someone preceded me so I just let him voice out his thoughts. Who would've thought that someone will have the courage to speak up in this situation? "It was not her fault. It's hers," the quietest kid in the class— Drake Yuro, spoke and lifelessly pointed to the girl that just fell from her seat. All of our classmates gasped and whispered to each other, surprised that the quietest kid in this classroom suddenly spoke his opinion. But all the murmurs vanished when this girl beside me slammed her desk while clenching her fist. From here, I could feel how upset she was, that things didn't go according to her idea. Sad girl mode: on. "Why is it my fault, when I saw with my two eyes how she kicked my seat?" she said in a pitying tone and burst into tears that made my classmates panic. Rheodore Huskin also known as Roe— the girl who irritates me the most in the whole universe. She's always starting catfights against me but ended up crying. I don't completely get her. She can't even fight back and just relies on the people around her. The faces of my classmates suddenly changed and became softer than usual. They are now gathered around her seat, completely ignoring Mr. Lovewort, and started saying comforting words to her while keeping her in company while she's sobbing. She almost got the support of our girls in our classroom. While the boys... "Drake was right! There's no proof that Kenny's the one who made it!" they opposed, pertaining to what the quiet guy said earlier. They are creeping me right now. Seriously. The two opposing sides kept arguing and the time comes when I already enjoyed and was satisfied with the moment when I caught a glimpse of Roe's pissed face. I glanced at our adviser who's looking at my classmates with a bored look as if he doesn't care if a riot happens in this classroom. I smiled as a sign of victory and stood up, the legs of the chair made a creaking sound against the tile floor, grabbing all their attention and the whole room suddenly went silent. I swept my hair back as I lean on the glass window. "Guys, that's enough, and oh yeah, I'm guilty," I admit my mistake and raise my right hand while smirking. I caught a glimpse of Roe’s fuming face making me let out an evil laugh in my thoughts. The whole classroom became louder but the two parties didn't give up on their opinions. Roe was about to slap me when I 'tsk'-ed and moved my palm forward causing her to stop midway with the expression on her face that I love the most. I simply glimpse on Mr. Lovewort who's busy massaging the bridge of his nose as if he is reminding himself that he is a teacher and he needs patience or else he will lose his job. "Don't dig your own grave, Roe," I warned her as I emphasized her name and grabbed my bag. Seems like my classmates noticed me that's why they stopped what they are doing and a moment of silence enveloped the room. They stick their gazes on me as I walked silently towards the backdoor and the moment I passed by Mr. Lovewort, he said something. "Fa—" I cut his words. "Faculty room, after class, Grueli," I finished his sentence and jokingly winked at him. The heels of my shoes echoed on the empty hallway as I walk through it. Exams are still continuing and I didn’t expect that I’m the only one who will finish it first, because obviously, studying isn’t my hobby. As I walk in the corridor, I passed one of the classrooms, someone there whistled, for me to look in his direction. He is inside their room and his feet were placed above the desk. He grinned at me and waved. “Hey, miss delinquent! Are you going to beat up some kiddos right now?!” he jokingly shouted from where he is at. I raised my upper lip and my ring finger as I continued walking, making him burst into laughter that has been cut instantly. I could hear how his teacher scolded him for shouting in the middle of the test, but knowing him, it will just come out from his left ear. I reached the cafeteria and had my early lunch. While I was eating, several sections were already there. It seems like it’s their lunch break already. I can’t help but stare at those groups of people laughing while eating their meals, while I am eating alone in the corner. I shook my head to gather my thoughts. It’s not the time for me to be sentimental. I’m busy entertaining my food when I felt someone is staring at me that’s why I wandered my gaze to see who was that. As expected, it was Roe the witch, together with her best of friends. She just rolled her eyes and started to take the line together with her troop. I sighed and continued eating when someone sat in front of me. “What do you need?” I icily asked, not meeting his gaze. “You looked so lonely, so I thought maybe I should accompany you,” he said casually, followed by his laughter. He is that boy in the other classroom earlier, seems like it's already their lunch break too. Maverick Carter— we are not close but he is proclaiming himself as my friend even though I talk to him harshly. When I asked him why is he tailing me all the time like a chick to his mother, he just answered me all the time, "You are cool." Cool, my a*s. He got brown eyes and a brown long comb over faded hair. “Get lost,” I responded, cutting his fun. “Awts. You’re acting like that and you’re wondering why no one’s befriended in you?” Subconsciously, I slammed the plate using my spoon and fork, and in an instant, the noisy cafeteria went silent. People started whispering and gasping when they saw that my plate shattered into pieces and some of my foods were splattered and messed above the table and on the floor. The Maverick in front of me was painted by terror, his hands started trembling, and looked at me with fear, but I could see through him that he was delighted of what happened. “H-Hey, there’s no need to be violent, you know?” he still tried his best to sound like being feared, but joy cannot hide in his voice. I bet he is acting like that so that people won't call him "weird." This boy is a masochist. It brings him delight and happiness every time he gets scolded or treated in an awful way. In short, he is really weird. “Get lost,” I coldly said again. I lifted my head when someone from the staff of the cafeteria approached us. She was wearing gloves and brought some cleaning materials. I sighed as I leave my seat to give her some space. I was about to pick the shattered pieces of the plate when the lady spoke. “I-It’s okay, ma’am. W-We will take care of it,” she stuttered while trembling as she started picking up the broken pieces to her mini dustpan, she’s also avoiding eye contact with me. I sighed again as I leave the cafeteria without saying a word. While I’m walking, all eyes are on me and I could hear how students make fun of me, some of them were scared and some of them were challenged by my own existence. I didn’t bother to look back at Maverick who’s still sitting in front of the chair where I’m sitting a while ago and he is biting his lower lip like an i***t to prevent himself from smiling. He’s just a nuisance. On my way out, I passed Vaughn who is surrounded by girls. I didn't make any eye contact with him but from my peripheral vision, I saw him staring at me until I get out of the cafeteria. I want friends, but I don’t want also. Of course, it is confusing but that’s really it is. I don’t want many friends, I need real ones. I rested my hand on the wall when I felt that everything around me was spinning. Am I that tired? As I recall, I took my medicine last night, then why am I experiencing it again right now? “Bread?” a familiar voice said. I was about to lift my head to see who it is but my vision suddenly darkened and the only thing I knew, I was dropped unconscious.