Epiphany

Alis Volat Propriis

She flies with her own wings

CARRACK

"Going somewhere?"

I nodded at my brother-in-law. Nakasabay ko si Kuya Levin sa elevator nang pababa na ako. We just came from a meeting, and hell that was a stressful one. Kuya Levin has been roasted as f**k but he doesn't seem affected.

"You look unaffected," I chuckled.

Kuya tapped my shoulder. "Things like that doesn't affect me," he chuckled. "Let them think whatever they want to think. At the end of the day, my output will speak for me," he smirked at me.

Most of the board members are questioning his decisions and the way he's handling the company. He proposed an aggressive approach to expand the company, at tinututulan iyon. Without biased opinion, sa tingin ko ay maganda ang plano n'ya. Kuya Levin presented the strategy well. Maganda ang mga hakbang na inilatag n'ya. But  most of the higher ranks are doubting him. Ilang buwan pa lang s'ya sa posisyon n'ya at ito ang unang pagpapakitang-gilas n'ya.

In the end, the CEO gave him the chance. Trey Gregory Amante gave him the power to execute his plans. The budget for his project got approved as well. Naging madugo ang pagtatalo at diskusyon, pero nagtagumpay naman si Kuya Levin. And for him, that's what's important. The end is worth all the struggles.

Levin McKinsey is level-headed and practical man. He's aggressive when it comes to business, but he's not the type that will take high risks without deducing the favorable outcome. He's one hell of a business man. As great as Trey Amante, or even greater because he got better character than my cousin. And it's our family's pride that he's Levin Amante now.

A man as wise and as insightful as him, turned his back on his every power, career, and riches... all for his wife, my Ate Tria. At first, I don't know if I will be amazed or disappointed by that decision. Masaya ako na mahal n'ya ang kapatid ko at kaya n'ya na talikuran ang lahat para sa Ate ko. Iniwan n'ya ang magandang buhay n'ya at tinalikuran n'ya ang pamilya n'ya. He got stripped off of his name and wealth. Humahanga ako sa pagmamahal n'ya. Pero isang parte ko ay napapaisip kung bakit kailangan n'ya na gawin 'yon. I'm sure he's not an instant successful man. He crawled his way to the peak. And he turned his back on everything. Kung hindi ibinigay ang pangalan namin sa kanya, ano'ng mangyayari sa kanya?

But he's Levin Amante now, and that's a great thing. He's a great help to the business, and he's making my sister happy. We're all proud of him.

"You'll be busy for the next days," I chuckled then tapped his shoulder.

"I have Tria on my back. This will be a walk in the park," he laughed. "But this will be one hell of a work."

"You're still on the turnover period. Why rush to prove yourself?" I raised a brow.

"I am not proving anything," he chuckled. "I think... I just missed this harsh, aggressive world. And maybe, this will gratify our parents." He shrugged. "A way of expressing my gratitude."

I laughed. "You pleased them enough. Si Stan pa lang, sapat na. 'Yong masaya si Ate, sobra-sobra na. Pero kung gusto mo na maging lagpas-langit ang kasiyahan nila Mom at Dad, try mo na pabaitin si Selene."

Nagtawanan na lang kami hanggang sa makarating sa parking. Nagsabay na rin kaming mag-lunch kung saan nakasama rin namin ang karamihan sa mga nakasama namin sa meeting. Matapos kumain ay bumalik na si Kuya Levin sa opisina samantalang umuwi na ako.

Today is the formal event with Hannah. Mamayang alas cinco ko pa s'ya susunduin pero hindi ako sanay na nagagahol ako kaya sa unit ko na lang ako magpapalipas ng oras.

I prepared the clothes I'll be wearing for later before I stripped down to my boxer. I switched the television and the PS4 on before I slumped myself on my bed. I passed my time by playing Horizon Zero Dawn. I ordered pizza for my snacks.

This is how to f*****g enjoy life. Selene and Mom said I am too old for this, but who the f**k is old enough for PlayStation?

I put a three thirty alarm on my phone. And I cursed when it went off.

Bakit mabilis ang oras kapag gusto mo ang ginagawa mo? Nakakainis.

Labag sa loob na pinatay ko na ang nilalaro ko at tumungo na sa banyo. It took me five minutes to take a dump, and another five in the shower. I dried my hair with a blower then styled it. Mas natagalan pa ako sa pag-aayos ng buhok ko kaysa sa paliligo.

I applied baby powder on my face, neck and body. I started doing this after Selene did this to me. She used Stan's powder on me. She meant it as a joke that I am a big baby, but I liked how it felt so I started doing that every after bath. It feels refreshing and I love the gentle scent of it.

I went out of the bathroom then I wore my all-black slim fit pants and turtleneck. I stepped on my loafers then sprayed the Tom Ford perfume Mom bought for me. I got my handkerchief, coat, wallet, phone and keys then I stepped out of my unit.

I chose to bring my Miata for tonight. Kinuha ko na muna ang charger sa Outback dahil nakalimutan ko mag-charge ng cellphone kanina. Nang mapatingin ako sa dashboard ay natigilan ako.

I don't know why, but I feel like I'll have a need for it tonight so I opened the compartment and snatched few foils of protection. I chuckled while locking my car. I went back to my other car and dropped the savior on the compartment between the seats. I wore my cream coat then I sat on the driver's seat. I started the engine after securing my seatbelts.

After plugging my phone, I sent a message to Hannah saying I'll be on my way, and another message for the flower shop near the area.

After the florist confirmed that my order was ready, I drove off. Dinaanan ko na muna ang bouquet para kay Hannah bago tumuloy sa bahay nila.

Salamat sa traffic at na-late pa ako sa alas cinco na dating ko dapat sa bahay nila Hannah. Their maid escorted me to their living room.

Hannah looks gorgeous on her dress. Hindi nga ako nagkamali na babagay sa kanya iyon.

Last Tuesday, I was with Miel and he was browsing though a designer's portfolio for a dress to give whoever his date will be for the upcoming anniversary of Helping Hands Foundation. This dress caught my attention. Pumasok agad sa isip ko si Hannah. The formal dinner gave me an excuse to give the dress to her so I ordered it then had it delivered to their house. And I'm glad I did.

I don't know how women called that but it looks beautiful. Kita ang mga balikat at hanggang tuhod ang haba. Nakataas ang buhok n'ya at may maliit na clutch bag s'yang dala. She looks regal.

Tumikhim ako dahil naramdaman ko na ang hiya sa pagkakatitig sa kanya. There's no way to deny how beautiful Hannah is. She got her innocent charm around her. She got a fair skin complexion and soft feminine features. There's something on her that made me want to protect and gratify her.

I got the chance to take in her beautiful face as I came closer. Her almond shaped eyes were adorned with make up. She got cute pointy nose and a pink bow shaped lips. Some loose strands of hair cascading at the side of her face completed her innocent yet seductive charm.

I was surrounded with fierce determined women my entire life. My mother and sisters all got strong personalities. Hannah, being gentle and delicate attracted the s**t our of me. She's a fresh air, malayo sa mga babaeng kinasanayan ko.

Nang makapagpaalam na kami kila Dra. Santillana at sa Tita Beatrice ni Hannah ay tumuloy na rin kami papunta sa campus nila. The whole drive was smooth. And when we got to the venue, I can't help but feel proud of the beautiful woman on my side.

I don't know if she's aware, but people are obviously adoring her. Ang mga lalaki ay nagtatagal ang titig sa kanya at halata sa mga mata nila ang paghanga.

Hannah got her natural look, but she's stunning tonight with the makeup enhancing her features.

And hell be damned, because I want to be territorial. Parang gusto ko s'yang bakuran.

Fuck! I have to f*****g get my shits together.

I am here tonight because I want to help her. I am proud of my sister for helping Hannah with improving her personality and social relationships, but I don't want this woman to depend her social life on Selene, or anyone else. She should learn how to be her own person.

I thought of going with her tonight to give her courage and reason to attend this event. And I plan to let her socialize with others. She should speak and interact with people.

I want her to learn how to fly with her own wings.

Kaya nakakagago na ngayon ay parang gusto ko s'yang bakuran.

No matter how hard I try to be reasonable, I still end up wrapping myself on Hannah. Kahit na ano'ng pilit ng utak ko na hayaan s'ya na humalo sa iba, hindi magawa ng katawan ko na lumayo sa kanya.

She's a crystal that I have to protect. That's the f*****g excuse I have for keeping her close to me all night.

And as I danced with her, swaying with the slow beat of the song, I can't think of anything aside from my desire to kiss her inviting lips.

Shit! Tanginang sobrang gago ko. I shouldn't desire this woman. She's not a woman for my entertainment. Maliban sa isusumpa ako ni Selene, isusumpa ko rin ang sarili ko kung sasaktan ko si Hannah.

Hannah is a fragile and delicate woman. She's not the one for me. She's been through enough heartaches and I am not the person who can guarantee a smooth relationship. f**k! I don't even know how to handle a relationship properly.

No matter how attracted I am to her, Hannah is not for me. I can't have her because I don't want her to end up hurting because of me. I'm an asshole for a lover. But I can be her friend.

Friendship is the best we could share.

"It's been a long time," Flannery smirked at me.

Seeing Flannery at the dinner was a surprise. Alam ko na pag-aari nila ang school kung saan nag-aaral sila Hannah at Selene pero hindi ko inasahan na parte s'ya nito. Last I heard, she's at Boston.

After driving Hannah home, I met up with Flan and the others in a club. May usapan naman na talaga kami ni Icen na lalabas matapos ang dinner sa campus nila. Nabago lang nang kaonti ang plano dahil sa pagsulpot ni Flannery at ang pagsasamahan ng iba pa.

"Years," I chuckled. "Where's your husband?"

Flannery rolled her eyes. "I'm a wife to no one," she replied in her usual b***h tone.

She's so much like Selene kaya hindi sila nagkasundo kahit kailan. It never bothered me though. I just have to keep them away from each other. Kung magkakasama silang dalawa, sumasakit lang ang ulo ko. That's the main reason why I never got the chance to introduce Flannery to my parents. Plus, we're young back then, and not really serious with the relationship.

"She got divorced few months ago," Icen smirked. "The douche gave up on taming my lovely sister."

"Who wouldn't divorce a woman who spent millions into shopping every month!" Vanica chuckled.

I smirked then drank my whiskey.

Flannery was an old flame. We stopped seeing each other when the time got tough for my family. And she married the month after that.

"Carrack, the woman you're with earlier, who's she?" Xyz asked with a teasing smirk.

I chuckled. "Selene's best friend."

"Pinopormahan mo?" Nakangising tanong ni Rile.

"Gan'on mga tipo mo 'di ba? Soft and gentle? Mukhang damsel in distress," Ae smirked.

I chuckled. That's right. Mga tulad ni Hannah talaga ang tipo ko sa babae. Mahinhin, tahimik at babaeng-babae.

"Naiisip ko si Prudence sa kanya," Flannery said while playing with her glass of vodka.

"Tipo nga ni Carrack," Icen laughed. "Si Pru ang first love mo 'di ba?" Mapang-asar na tanong n'ya sabay baling kay Artamiel.

"Gago," I chuckled. Crush na crush ko lang si Prudence noon pero hindi naman ako na-in love sa kanya. Ni hindi ko nga nilalapitan o kinakausap. Nagagandahan lang talaga ako sa kanya at tipo ko s'ya. "Type ko lang talaga si Pru noon." Bulag lang ang hindi makakakita kung gaano kaganda ang babaeng iyon.

"Who's you're dream girl?" Tsismosang tanong ni Vanica. Bagay talaga ito kay Aeiou dahil pareho silang dalawa.

"Lisanna," I smirked.

Natawa na lang ako nang batukan ako ni Rile. "Mga tipo mo gan'on tapos ex mo ganito?" Tinuro n'ya pa si Flan.

"Ano'ng problema mo, Rayleigh?" Inis na tanong ni Flannery sa mapang-asar na unggoy.

"Wala! Sinasabi ko lang," halakhak ni Rile.

"Si Flan kasi ang nanligaw kay Carrack!"

"Pikot 'yon!" Ae's laugher roared. "s*x lang tapos binakuran na."

"f**k you all!" Flannery hissed.

"At least si Flanny may balls na mamikot," nakangising sabi ni Xyz. "Hindi tulad ng isang kakilala ko na walang balls pagdating sa future in-laws."

Ae flipped him the middle finger.

Kung kani-kanino na nalipat ang asaran. Hindi ko na namamalayan na napapadami na ang inom ko dahil sa pagkakalibang. Na-miss ko ang ganito. Na itong mga gagong 'to ang kasama ko. Nitong mga nakaraan kasi ay palagi akong nakabantay kay Selene. At hindi masyadong magaan ang loob ni Selene dito sa mga ito.

I was in college when I got close with these people. Unlike my cousins who all enrolled in RUA, I studied in CIT, Hannah' school now. I'm the same age as Ae and the others. Rayleigh Dela Croix was my best buddy back then. Sa dalas ng pagsama ko sa kanya, naka-close ko na rin ang mga kaibigan n'ya.

Flannery is two years older than me. Prior to meeting her through Rile, we dated back then when we're still in New York.

Sakitin si Flan noon kaya nasa states sila ni Tita Ash para sa pagpapagamot n'ya. Hindi pa muna s'ya umuwi kahit na tuluyan na s'yang gumaling. We hanged out a lot and we started f*****g each other. I was her first so I found it hard not to value what we shared.

I dated her exclusively in spite of Selene's disapproval. We broke up when she has to go home.

When we met again, we rekindled our vague relationship. With her around, I stopped f*****g other woman. I'm back to being exclusive with her. Until her grandmother introduced her to her betrothed.

Flan asked me to runaway with her. Until that engagement got broken.  Torn between staying with my family through our hard times and helping her, I chose to do where I can help more.

All Amante thought that I run away from the pressure and obligations, but truth was, I just chose to help Flannery. We went to Spain to seek for Tita Meg's help. We used my family's private plane to hide our departure from the country.

Flan asked me to marry her. We could get married abroad and have a divorce if it doesn't work. I was willing to help her but a call from my father made me turn my back on helping her.

Iniwan ko si Flannery sa Spain at sunod na nabalitaan ko, ikinasal na s'ya. She was mad at me for abandoning her.

And now... here we go again.

"Carrack..." Flannery's moans filled the garage of her house. She was on top of the hood of my car, widely spread for me to conquer.

I didn't expect to use the condoms on her. Damnit! Ang akala ko ay random hookup lang. Init na init pa naman ako ngayon dahil kay Hannah. I am damn attracted to that woman.

I shut my eyes as I thrust myself on Flannery. I know I am being an asshole, disrespecting both women, but I can't help but picture Hannah on my head while ruthlessly f*****g Flannery.

Hannah is someone I could never have. Hanggang paglalaway lang ako. Hanggang paghanga at pagtingin lang. Hinding-hindi ko puwedeng tikman.

And Flannery here... all she wants for me is a good s*x. We both know that we would never work. s*x is all there is between us.

On the next days, I got busy with Flannery. She may not be my type of woman, but she knows how to satisfy me. She's wild in bed. She's game for anything.

I was in the middle of dinner with Flannery when I got a call.

"This is urgent. I have to go," nagmamadaling sabi ko. Pinunasan ko na ang bibig ko.

"Family?" Flannery asked with a raised brow.

I nodded. Anxiety is slowly building up in my system.

Flan wryly chuckled. "As always... I think we could never make us work, Carrack. You're too committed with your family. I won't be surprised if you'll end up as a single old man."

I nodded. I got no time for bullshits. "Thanks for your time. I'll have my men send you home."

"Thanks for the wonderful s*x," Flan grinned while staring daggers at me.

I noticed some of my bodyguards making their way to me. Tumayo na ako at tuluyan nang iniwan si Flannery sa lamesa namin. Sinalubong ko ang mga bodyguards at pinalibutan nila ako hanggang sa makapasok sa isang itim na SUV.

"Sir, si B7 na po ang bahala sa sasakyan n'yo," sabi ni Henry, ang personal bodyguard ko.

"Ipahatid n'yo si Flannery sa kung saan n'ya gusto," bilin ko at hinilot ang sentido. "What happened?"

"Ambush po, Sir. Tinitignang anggulo ang mistaken identity. Baka si Lady Tricia po ang pakay talaga."

I sighed. Being so rich, delikado ang buhay ng pamilya ni Tito Tee.

"How about my parents and my sisters?"

"Nasa ospital na po sila Madam Tia. Si miss Selene po kasama si sir Caspian."

I nodded. With Caspian on her side, I am confident that nothing bad will happen to that brat. The man will die for her, I'm sure.

I was already on the hospital when Selene arrived. When she was handed a doctor's coat with Frigate's name on it, I felt... relieved.

Things happened so fast. In a blinked on an eye, we lost two members of our family. My uncle, Tito Terrence, and his grandchild Tripp, both didn't made it and died that same day.

Nagluluksa ang buong pamilya namin pero hindi ko maiwasan na matuwa para sa kapatid ko nang umuwi kami sa bahay na kasama si Frigate Santillana.

Caspian loves my sister unconditionally, but I know that it's Frigate who can make Selene happy. And knowing Frigate, I know that he's also in love with my sister.

Si Selene, daladalawa ang nagmamahal sa kanya. Mamimili na lang s'ya. E ako kaya?

When will I meet 'the one'? I am turning thirty in few months and I never felt that feeling they called romantic love.

Sure, I did love Flannery. But I only love her as a friend. I know that I won't love her more than that.

Well... hindi naman ako nagmamadali. Tito Tee found his one true love on his mid thirties. And I know for a fact that Tita Mira made his life worth living.

True love shouldn't be rushed.