Epiphany

Solis Occasum

the setting of the sun

HANNAH

I know I shouldn't, but I can't tear my eyes off of Carrack's lean body. 

Carrack is not the bulky muscular type of guy. Tama lang ang sukat n'ya. Sa tuwing naka t-shirt s'ya na bahagyang nakayakap sa katawan ay kita ang magandang hubog ng braso at balikat n'ya. Hindi hitik sa muscle pero mukhang siksik naman. 

Kapag titignan si Carrack ay masasabi na hindi s'ya sanay sa mabibigat na gawain tulad ng pagbubuhat-buhat. One look and one can say that he's the typical office guy. But seeing him now with only a towel wrapped around his hips... dang! I am drooling. 

By looking at his torso, I can clearly see that he got firm chest with cute peach n*****s sitting on it. My lips parted as my eyes slowly scanned his abs. He got freaking abs! And I forgot how to breathe as I got enticed with his happy trail and his V-line. 

Sexy. I never thought that Carrack's this sexy under his clothes. 

I can feel my cheeks warming up, but my eyes were still feasting on the sight. Parang gusto na akong patayin ng mga mata ko!

"Please, baby... don't look at me like that," Carrack said in a cold tone then he turned his back on me. 

Dang! Even his rear was sexy as hell. Hindi ko na namalayan na napakagat na ako sa labi ko, kung hindi ko pa naramdaman na masakit na na tila malapit na magsugat dahil sa diin ng pagkakakagat ko. But those round butt cheeks are to die for. 

But his tone... 

I know that Ryle left me on purpose. It was obvious that Carrack was upset over something the whole day. And Ryle is pointing out that I was at fault for it. 

"S-S-Sorry," I murmured. I feel so ashamed of myself! Ni hindi ko na alam kung sorry para sa kung sa anuman na nagawa ko kanina na ikinagalit n'ya o sorry sa pagsasamantala ko sa katawan n'ya. 

Gosh, Hannah! Umayos ka! Nakakahiya ka! 

Ang nasa katinuang parte ng utak ko ay sinasabi na dapat ay lumabas na ako ng silid ni Carrack, pero ang pasaway na mga mata ko ay hindi maalis-alis ang atensyon nila sa katawan ni Carrack. 

Carrack's back looked firm and strong. And he got a tattoo below his nape. Ngayon ko pa lang ito nakita dahil hindi naman nagpapakita ng katawan si Carrack. Kahit noong nag-isla kami para sa proposal ni Kuya ay hindi sumali si Carrack sa mga naligo sa dagat at simpleng umiinom lang s'ya sa yate. 

Parang gusto ko na lang maglaho na parang bula nang lumingon si Carrack at mahuli n'ya ako na naninitig pa rin sa kanya. 

"Hannah,baby... stop looking at me or else I might do something we'll both regret right after," Carrack said in a deeper tone. I think it's like a warning. 

And instead of being ashamed and to stop gawking, my stupid self got excited for something undefined. My lips parted. Parang hindi na ako makahinga dahil sa sobrang pagkakamangha sa nakikita ng mga mata ko. 

Tuluyang humarap muli sa akin si Carrack. My heart literally stopped when I saw the bulge on his crotch. Dahil sa butt n'ya ako nakatingin kanina, doon agad dumapo ang tingin ko nang humarap s'ya. Agad na inakyat ko ang tingin ko pero hindi ko naman napigilan ang mabagal na pagsuyod ng katawan n'ya pataas. 

Napasinghap ako nang sa wakas ay makarating na ang mga mata ko sa mukha ni Carrack. And he's looking mad. 

"f**k!" 

Napasinghap ako nang magsimulang lumapit si Carrack. Parang gusto ko na magtatakbo palayo. Sa tono ng pagkakamura n'ya, mukhang galit talaga s'ya. 

"I warned you..." paanas na sabi ni Carrack. 

My heart jumped on my throat as Carrack caressed my jaw. It's not sweet or gentle. Parang gusto n'ya akong sakalin. Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko dahil imposible naman na saktan ako ni Carrack. He's not that type of man. 

I should remember why I am here. Ryle said that Carrack was jealous of Kai. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero iyon lang ang lohikal na eksplenasyon ng mga ikinilos ni Carrack kanina. 

"Were you jealous with Kai?" Matapang na tanong ko pero nanginig ang boses ko sa dulo. Hindi ko na kasi maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. 

Carrack and his body is making me lightheaded. 

I don't know how to be in a relationship. I'm not yet in a relationship with Carrack pero parang gan'on na rin naman. I think I should give him assurance. Hindi n'ya kailangan magselos. Walang iba para sa akin. Mahal ko s'ya. Hindi pa lang ako handa sa ngayon. 

"I am in love with you Carrack." Sa isip ko ay matapang ko 'yang masasabi pero sa realidad ay napayuko ako. The first time I confessed, I got rejected. I can't handle Carrack's rejection. But I need to face this. Whatever the outcome may be. "S-So... you d-don't have to be jealous. Because all I see is you," I continued in an embarrassed voice.

Hindi ko na talaga kayang huminga. Kinagat ko na lang ang ibabang labi ko at mas yumuko pa. 

"Damn, baby," Carrack breathed. 

My eyes widened when he cupped my head with both hands. Itiningala n'ya ako at sinalubong ng mainit na halik ang mga labi ko. 

I think my brains short-circuited the first minute. 

"Kiss me, baby," Carrack whispered between his kisses. He took a seat beside me then he pulled me until I am straddling him. 

Our lips clashed once more, and this time I am kissing him back. I kiss him on the way he taught me how. I kiss him the way I knew I should... the way I wanted to.

After minutes of kissing, I found my fingers tangled on his damp hair. 

I don't know where this is leading us, but I know that I can trust Carrack with anything. 

I am busy answering Carrack's kisses when he started caressing the sides on my body. A gentle moan escaped my lips between our kisses when his hands reached my chest. 

Carrack's kisses shifted on my jaw, then down to my neck. I threw my head backwards as I let the pleasure consumed me and my embarrassment. 

Carrack uttered soft curses as he started unbuttoning my shirt. Napabalik ang tingin ko sa kanya nang bigla s'yang huminto. 

"Once I cross this point, there will be no turning back," Carrack said in a raspy voice. 

I bit my bottom lip as I caress his face. He's so handsome.

My gut feeling is telling me that I would never regret this. 

Gathering all the courage in me, I kissed his lips with all the love I have for him. Sana ay maramdaman n'ya sa mga halik ko kung gaano ko s'ya kamahal.

From his face, my fingers crawled back to his hair when he started returning my sweet kisses. Napadiin ang pagsabunot ko sa kanya nang mas lumalim ang halikan namin. 

Pinutol ni Carrack ang halikan namin para mabilisan ng mahubad ang shirt at bra ko. 

My hands automatically covered my breast. Hindi ko kaya ang labis na kahihiyan na nararamdaman ko. Simula nang magdalaga ako ay wala akong hinayaan na makakita ng katawan ko. Maliban sa akin ay si Stella lang ang nakakita sa aking katawan at aksidente lang naman na makita n'ya akong hubad. 

Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang labis na init na naramdaman ko nang makita ang ekpresyon ni Carrack habang tinitignan ang katawan ko. His lips slightly parted and there's an obvious amusement on his eyes as he stared at me. 

Carrack gently took my hands. Napakislot ako nang tumama ang mga daliri n'ya sa balat sa bandang dibdib ko. Kahit walang pwersa masyado ang mga kamay n'ya ay napasunod n'ya ang mga kamay ko sa kaonting hila n'ya. 

"Hannah, baby..." Carrack breathlessly uttered as he stared my bare chest. 

Pakiramdam ko ay dudugo na ang labi ko sa sobrang kagat ko. Labis na ang kahihiyang nararamdaman ko dahil sa pagtitig n'ya. 

"Damn..." Carrack said then he lifted his eyes on my face. I saw how his eyes widened. "A-Are you alright?" Nag-aalalang tanong n'ya. 

The corner of my eyes are warming up. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiiyak ako. 

"We can stop," Carrack gently said then gave me a warm smile. 

I shook my head. 

Ito ang assurance na maibibigay ko sa kanya. I can't show my love in public. Yet. So I know that I must show it with this intimacy. 

I held Carrack's head then I kissed his lips gently. He refused to move but he let me kiss him. My hands trailed each of his arms from his shoulder until I reached his hands. 

"I want to do this with you," I whispered between my kisses. 

I lifted his hands to my breasts. 

"You don't have to force yourself," Carrack said in a firm tone then he pulled his hands from my grip. He gently cupped my face then smiled at me. "We don't have to do this now."

Feeling stubborn, I shook my head then raised from his lap. Refusing to think things over, I undid the button of my shorts. 

"Hannah," Carrack gently called, maybe trying to stop me. But his eyes are saying otherwise. 

I dropped my shorts with my undies on the floor. I bit my lower lip then looked away. I did my best not to cover myself up on Carrack’s eyes.

“f*****g perfect,” Carrack groaned then he pulled me on his lap.

I sat sideways on Carrack’s lap. He held my jaw then turned my head on him. He kissed me deeply. His tongue seek entrance on my mouth, and I was nothing but a moaning mess as he conquered my mouth.

I moaned on his mouth as his left hand went down from my jaw to my breasts. He gave my left breast a gentle squeeze. From kneading my breast, his fingers slip on my n****e.

My cry of pleasure grew louder as he started tweaking my n****e.

His right hand traced random patterns on my back, leaving trails of warmth and anticipation on its track.

Carrack took his time arousing me with his kisses and his skillful assaults on my breasts. By the time he parted my legs, I am already feeling the liquid desire pooling on my core.

“C-Carrack…” my whole body shook at the touch of his fingers on my folds.

“You came,” Carrack breathed then he bit on my ear. “One touch and you came.”

I feel so ashamed. I was about to stand from Carrack’s lap when his hand moved between my legs.

My flesh feel sensitive from what happened. My back arched on its own and I can’t help my moans.

Kung wala ang braso ni Carrack sa likod ko, baka nahulog na ako sa sahig.

Carrack’s right arm snaked on my body. Galing sa likod ay inabot ng kanang kamay n’ya ang dibdib ko at nilaro ang ituktok nito. He tugged on my n*****s as he bite on my shoulder. His left hand put more pressure on its caresses on my wet folds.

I can’t control my body’s movements on Carrack’s lap. And I can’t tone down my moans no matter how hard I try to bite on my lips. I kept on squirming as I feel another orgasm hitting me with Carrack’s fingers teasing my c******s.

“Ah…” a long moan erupted from my throat as my body shook with another orgasm.

I am slightly feeling dizzy when Carrack lifted me up then he placed me on top of his bed.

I watched as Carrack stood up then removed his towel. I gasped and my eyes widened upon seeing his naked glory.

I know that the v****a will expand to accommodate the phallus, but this one will surely hurt a lot. He’s thick and long!

Umibabaw si Carrack sa akin at muling sinakop ang mga labi ko ng mga halik n’ya. In the middle of kissing, he reached for my hand then guided it on his phallus.

His warm, thick phallus against my palm made me moan. He’s so thick that my thumb can’t almost touch my fingers as I stroke him.

Carrack moaned then he shifted his kisses on my jaw, to my neck.

“You’re doing good, baby,” Carrack groaned while kissing and licking my neck.

I am losing my mind as he started caressing my body. Hanggang sa nabitiwan ko ang p*********i n’ya dahil pinadausdos n’ya ang sarili pababa.

Hindi ko na alam kung paanong hiya pa ang mararamdaman ko nang pinosisyon ni Carrack ang mukha n’ya sa pagitang ng magkaparteng mga hita ko.

“C-C-Carrack…”

“You’re perfect, Hannah. So damn beautiful and feminine.” Carrack uttered while looking intently at my core.

I can feel my skin burning.

Tama ba ang desisyon ko na mag-trim lang? Stella has been trying to convince me to get myself waxed, but I refused because I’m afraid that might hurt a lot. And since I’m too embarrassed to let other see me naked, ako lang ang naggugupit.

Hindi ko na nagawang magpatuloy na mag-isip pa nang simulan ni Carrack na halikan ako doon. He’s French-kissing me down there!

My fingers curled on Carrack’s hair. Hindi ko alam kung itutulak ko ba s’ya o mas ididiin pa.

Blinding orgasm hit me like a lightning. My body shook uncontrollably. I moaned Carrack’s name over and over.

I am still panting hard when Carrack detached his lips from my core. He pressed my legs together after he knelt on the bed.

“Don’t make a move,’ Carrack warned as he slid his manhood between my legs and vulva.

I’m still dizzy with my continuous orgasm but another one is shaking my system once more when Carrack started to move. I can’t help but to cry out every time his tip made contact with my c**t. Even my labia are sensitive on the rubbing he’s doing.

I was enticed at Carrack’s expression. Salubong ang mga kilay n’ya na parang galit at bahagyang nakaparte ang mga labi. He threw his head backwards then he let out a loud groan. He came.

His c*m squirted on my body and some reached my chin and lips.

“Damn good,” Carrack groaned then he pulled from me.

Hindi ko na namalayan ang mga sumunod na pangyayari dahil napapikit na ako.

Si Carrack ang gumalaw pero pakiramdam ko ay pagod na pagod ako.

When I opened my eyes, the view of the setting sun from Carrack’s glass wall greeted my eyes.

A warm smile formed my lips as I felt Carrack’s arm wrapped around me. Nakatagilid ako ng higa at ramdam ko sa likod ko si Carrack na nakayakap sa akin.

I am already on a white shirt na sigurado akong kay Carrack. I don’t feel sticky anywhere so I am sure that he cleaned me up.

My cheeks feel like burning upon remembering what we’ve done. He saw me naked! And he did more than looking.

We didn’t go all the way. There’s no penetration.

But somehow… because there’s no penetration, our first intimate moment was much sweeter.

Dahil kahit naman gaano ako kasiguardo kay Carrack, alam namin pareho na hindi pa ito ang tamang panahon. Hindi pa ako handa.

And I feel lucky and blessed having Carrack. Because even this setup is frustrating him, he’s prioritizing my emotions. He’s respecting my decisions. And I can’t ask for anything more.