Wanting someone
My name is Patrick. I'm twenty-one years old, and most days I feel like the smallest person in the world.
Our house is big and nice because of my stepdad, Julius Bay. He married my mom, Mariam, five years ago. Mom is a kind woman who always tries to keep the peace. She smiles a lot and makes sure everyone feels loved. Julius is a successful businessman. He works long hours, dresses in sharp suits, and speaks with a strong, confident voice. He is strict but fair. Both of them treat José and me like real brothers. If only they knew the truth about how we really feel.
José is twenty-five now. He is tall, muscular, and a senior at the same university where I am only a junior. He plays sports, goes to parties every weekend, and always has girls chasing after him. At home, he loves making my life hell. He calls me "little virgin" in front of his friends when our parents are not around. He makes fun of my clothes, laughs at how much I study, and teases me because I never bring anyone home. Every time he laughs at me, I just want to disappear into the floor.
That evening, things got even worse. We were all sitting together for dinner.
"Patrick, how was your day at university?" Mom asked with her usual warm smile.
Before I could say anything, José leaned back in his chair with a big smirk on his face. "Yeah, little bro. Did you finally talk to a girl today? Or are you still hiding in the library like always?"
Julius frowned. "José, that's enough."
But José just laughed. His deep voice filled the whole room. "I'm just joking, Dad. He needs to toughen up a bit."
I stayed quiet and stared at my plate. My face felt hot with shame. After dinner, I went straight to my room and locked the door. I hated José so much. But deep down, something about his confidence and strong body made me feel strange things I didn't understand. It made me angry at myself for feeling that way.
I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone. My hands were shaking. I typed in the search bar: "b**m club near me" and "anonymous submission experience." I had read about these places online many times before, but I never thought I would actually look for one. Tonight felt different. I was tired of feeling small and weak. I wanted someone—anyone—to take control and make me forget everything for a while.
After searching for almost an hour, I found it. The club was called "The Shadow Chamber." It was the most exclusive one in the city. They had very strict rules: no real names, masks and blindfolds allowed, and total privacy. My heart beat faster as I read the reviews. People said it was safe if you followed the rules. I filled out the online form quickly—my age, health information, limits, and preferences. I chose "blindfolded submission" and "no faces."
Before I could change my mind, I got a reply. My application was approved for tonight. They sent me the secret address and a special code.
I told my mom I was going out to study with friends. She believed me right away. José was already out somewhere, probably with one of his girls. Good. I didn't want him to see me leaving.
The taxi dropped me off in front of a plain black building in a quiet part of the city. There were no big signs outside. Just a small metal door with a security camera watching. I whispered the code into the speaker. The door clicked open.
Inside, the air was cool and smelled like leather and something mysterious. A tall man in a dark suit greeted me. "Welcome to The Shadow Chamber," he said in a calm, professional voice. "I'm Mr. Laris. You're new here. Let's go over the rules."
He took me to a quiet office. I filled out more papers—consent forms, safe words, everything important. Another manager, Ms. Freya, explained how the night would work. She had a gentle but firm way of speaking. "We'll draw lots to match you with a Dom. Everything stays completely anonymous. You'll be blindfolded before you meet him. Are you ready?"
I nodded, even though my legs felt weak and my stomach was full of butterflies. "Yes," I whispered.
Mr. Laris led me down a dark hallway. Soft red lights glowed on the walls. I could hear faint sounds coming from other rooms—moans of pleasure mixed with the sharp sounds of pain. My stomach twisted with nerves and excitement at the same time.
He opened a heavy door to a private room. Inside, there was a padded bench, hooks on the walls, soft black curtains, and dim lighting that made everything feel secret and safe.
A man in a mask entered behind me. "I'll be preparing you," he said. His voice was low and steady.
He gently placed a thick blindfold over my eyes. The world went completely black. Everything suddenly felt more intense—the sound of my own fast breathing, the cool air touching my skin, and the nervous pounding in my chest.
"Strip," he commanded.
My fingers trembled as I pulled off my shirt, then my pants, and finally my underwear. Soon I was completely naked. I felt shy and exposed, but also strangely alive.
The man guided me to the padded bench and helped me bend over it. The leather felt cool against my stomach and chest. "Your Dom will be here soon," he said. "Enjoy your night, boy."
Then he left. I was alone in the dark now, heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. My mind raced. *Hey everyone… I know this is crazy. I'm supposed to hate José, but right now I'm bent over in a b**m club hoping a stranger will ruin me. What am I even doing?*
I waited, breathing fast. Time felt slow in the darkness.
Then I heard the door open again. Heavy footsteps came closer across the floor. Strong, warm hands touched my bare back. I jumped a little at the contact.
A deep, commanding voice spoke right behind me.
"You're shaking already…"
