Tomorrow may never come

Obsessed

James' POV

I looked up the ceiling.  Janine was lightly snoring beside me.  We just had s*x.  She wrung me out with whatever moves she learned from whoever she had been learning from.  I don't delude myself that she was with me because she loved me.  Girls who swarm all over me wanted only one thing.

Prestige.

I am the captain of the football team.  I am also a product endorser for a local shampoo.  I'm being contracted to be the next face for the school ad.  Girls are all over me because they want to be seen with me and be popular.  Janine was the recent girl that led me to believe that I might find something in her that can last.  I mean when Cat disappeared for three months, I was hoping that this restlessness I'm feeling would go away if I hooked up with Janine.  She had been clawing Cat's position as my girlfriend for months now.  I mean, she had been mean to Cat.  Usually using her as a dartboard for her mean comments and insulting innuendos.  I never intervened.  Cat fights are not my thing.

But when Cat came back from wherever she had been, looking like an angel surrounded with white light, I was able to identify what this restlessness was.

Loneliness.

I can only count the number of women who loved me and I know I can trust.

My mother, my sister

Cat

I don't know why I find that I could trust Cat.

I remembered the first day I saw her.  The neighborhood kids were picking on me because I was a new kid.  My mom decided we should move here and make a fresh start after my dad left her for a new woman.  When it was too much, a girl blocked a punch meant for me.  I was angry at first that a girl saved me.  My ego demanded me to get mad.  But Cat was different.

When I became a prominent figure in middle school, I decided to return the favor.  I saw Cat, an introvert with no friends, a loner and a social pariah being insulted and thought that if people found out that I knew her, I would lose my status.  They would belittle all the grooming I did to become like this. So I joined the bandwagon.  I insulted her, made references about her and made fun of her.

But what changed?

I saw Cat once.  She was not wearing her usual hoodie and her hair was twisted in a braid.  It was the first time that I saw how beautiful she looked.  I was stunned.  Why did she hide herself like that?  That day I couldn't take my eyes off her.  Something was whirling in my head and I wanted that kind of beauty by my side.

So I made her my girlfriend.

 My friends were envious.  They kept on saying I'm such a lucky bastard to have such a beauty near me.  I didn't like that they were lusting after her so I made sure she had less interactions with them.  

I asked her to be the team manager which she accepted gladly.  After all, she gets to spend time with her boyfriend.  She prepares my power drinks and lunches.  She always makes sure that I have an extra set of clothes when we had games.  She was cordial with my friends and accepts their requests but always puts me as her priority.  When we lose a game, she would let me vent and then she would make me mac and cheese just to make me feel better.  Since my mother was busy with her work, I find Cat's attention addicting.  Before long, I would tell her my thoughts and my ideas.  She supported me with all of those and would timidly put in her ideas.  Sometimes I would listen but most of the time I just put her suggestions under advisement.

When she suddenly stopped from going to school three months ago, I thought she was taking a break from all the school drama.  I mean, although no one talks about her anymore, the rumors that started from before were too ingrained to eliminate.  Janine found that Cat's absence was reason enough to snag me for herself.  

She took up Cat's work at first.  It was almost like Cat was not gone and I was grateful to Janine.  The team prospered under the numerous wins that I made and it was all working well until Janine wanted more.

She said that it was her due as my girlfriend.

She pulled in girls that were from my fans club and they took over the managing of the club and "de-stressing" the  team.  You name it.  s*x, drugs, booze, take your pick.  Before Janine, were a drug free team.  We liked to fool around with girls and drinks but we were never heavy drinkers.  The drugs were an outlet, Janine said.  More of a method for removing insecurities in players so that they can play without inhibitions.

We started losing.  Our games were no longer in the zone and our coach was furious.  He had us all benched and checked for drugs.

I was surprised that I was still the captain.  After all it was my fault that the team was compromised.  But my prestige and value as a captain bought me more time.  The team was revamped, all managers fired.  Out with the old and in with the new.  Just the other day, Mark, my co-captain, demanded to be reinstated.  He claimed that he was drug free and that Janine was the one who had him hooked.

Needless to say, he was still benched.

And I get to keep the girl.

I ran my hand through my face.

What the heck am I doing?  Thinking about another girl after having s*x with your own girlfriend.

I wrapped a towel around my private parts and looked out the window, heaving a deep sigh.  Seeing Cat with a man who looks like a model from a GQ magazine and her acting all happy, I realized that she never smiled at me like that in all the times we were together.  She was really happy.

I grimaced.  

She was supposed to be happy with me.  Why was she laughing that happily in the arms of a guy that was not even there for her in school when those teenagers made fun of her?  I was there when nobody wanted anything to do with her.  I gave her a life, purpose.  Why doesn't she want to be with me?

Linda, my sister, was still watching TV as I made my way towards the kitchen.  I opened the fridge and took out a box of juice.  Placing it a glass, I drank slowly as I thought long and hard.

Maybe I should drop Janine now that Cat is back.  Technically, she was still my girlfriend since we didn't even break up so Janine doesn't have to stay with me.

Yeah, that's right.  I should break up with Janine now that Cat is back.  I can still have my angel with me.  I can still get my image and boost the morale of the team.

"Whatever you are thinking, don't do it."  My sister suddenly spoke up.

I looked at my sister and her eyes showed her sympathy.

But I got to fix my life.  I need Cat.