Tomorrow may never come

Carpe Diem

I watched as James and Janine sipped their drinks.  I still couldn't understand what happened after Liam just blurted that he is my BOYFRIEND.  I really sympathized with James and Janine.  I would be dying of envy to see the sophisticated Liam out on a date and not just with anyone.  It just had to be me!

Sucks to be you, dollface.

I chuckled at that.  Liam glanced my way before tightening his hand on my shoulder.  Yep, he was beside me and holding me like we were a C.O.U.P.L.E.  I could have died and gone to heaven.  Liam stacked all our bags near the cafe's walls and urged the ultra power couple to sit with us.  His treat.  His!

I shook my head at him before sipping my drink.  For good measure, I placed my free hand on top of his and smiled at him.  I could hear his heart beating a mile a minute but he smiled easily.  He wouldn't be fazed by my sudden show of intimacy but he started it.  I know I can handle these two fake faced freaks on my own but he had to do the white knight in shining armor thing.  I am not a damsel in distress and I don't need a man to fight my own battles.  But I don't have the heart to contradict him in front of the vainest couple in school.  Liam was a kind soul and I owe him for giving me a job at his shop.  The least I could do was act like a girlfriend, right?

Yeah, right.

"Um so how long have you met him, Cat?"  Janine asked uncomfortably.  James was sullen and refused any of her attempts to be lovey dovey in front of me.  I knew that James was just using her for his own needs and now he is looking for his docile assistant again.

As if I want to go back to him.  Dream on, jerkface.

I looked up at Liam and we both smirked at each other.  I knew Janine was interested in getting to know Liam and if it is possible to get him for herself.

"Oh we've known each other only for a few days.  He's my boss, you see."  I explained with a chuckle.  Liam laughed with me and he hugged me for good measure.  Janine's eyes widened at that.  

She thinks you're just using the guy and milking him for his money.  What a scum.

"Oh so you pay her to do things?"  Janine asked, her malice was dripping from her mouth.  James stiffened at that but the implication that I sleep around was not missed.  My eyes squinted at Janine.  

I wanna punch her silicon blasted face.

Patience, child.  Be patient.

Patience was never a virtue I follow but Liam's hand stayed mine when I would have clawed the b***h's eyes out.  I looked at him and my eyes widened in disbelief.  He kissed me.

Oh dear Lord, Buddha, Kamisama, Osiris, Vishnu, Yahweh

I call upon all the gods from all the religions out there.  

Please bring back my soul in one piece.  I beg of you.

Sparks shot out as the kiss took longer than a minute.  I was hooked.  If there is such a thing as nirvana, then this was it.  It was a combination of sweetness, poignancy and pain.  My first real kiss with a guy!  What did I do to deserve such a thing.

When I opened my eyes,  I became hooked once again.  This time by his chocolate brown eyes.  It was melting my insides and making me think that I can never live again.  His eyes followed my tongue as I licked my lips and they darkened with unconcealed lust.

"I don't need to pay her to do things."  Liam replied in a husky voice.  He held me a little tightly to his chest before facing our audience.  "When I saw her, I knew she was the one.  A one of a kind girl you don't mess around with.  I'm lucky she is MY girl."

James's sullen look turned completely sour and he stood up abruptly.  He didn't even call Janine but just left her there sputtering after him.  When they were gone, I looked at Liam.

"Thanks for that, Liam.  I owe you one."  I muttered as I pushed him away from me but Liam held on to me and looked me in the eye.

"I guess there is no easy way to say this, Cat.  I've been meaning to get the right time to talk to you but my cousin was too perceptive for her own good."  Slowly, he let me go and scratched his neck in embarrassment.  I looked at him to check if he was still joking around but his eyes held anxiety and acceptance.  He thought I was getting ready to reject him.

This is your chance.  Tell him the truth.  If he can't handle it, then he is not the one.

But what if he doesn't want me because I'm tainted.

Being tainted means you have sinned.  You liked what they did, don't you?

No!  They disgust me.  They took away my life.

Here's your chance to find out if he is your partner or your tombstone.

I took a deep breath and waited for the panic to set in.  I've never talked about r**e with other people.  Sgt. Harris and Kyle were the only ones who knew the technical details.  I kept the emotional side of it far from what I had to endure day by day until they were able to catch those rapists.  Baring myself to this guy terrifies me.  I value his opinion about me and I don't want to taint it with things about the r**e.  But if I kept it a secret, then I might do something regrettable when we are together and it may cause a rift between us.   I can't hide forever in this kind of thing.  I guess I do have to face the music.

"I uh.  It's not that I don't like you.  I mean, I do.  I do like you.  But the thing is, you don't know anything about me.  Are you sure you want to have me as your girlfriend?  There are other girls there that can be a better match for you."  I tried to discourage him for the last time.

He smiled at me and held my hand.  

"I will try to understand whatever your past is.  I do know that each of us have their own skeletons in the closet but this is the first time I have met a girl that I really want to get to know.  I won't promise to not react against what you are going to say but at least I want to hear your story.  Please."

Okay.  Here goes nothing.