Unsactioned Warmth

“Listen, Amélie, you cannot be friends with them, they are monsters, they will not only hurt you but everyone around you. Do you hear me?” “o-okay” I smiled bitterly while recalling that night. That night. When I try to help someone. Someone whose hands were chained, face covered with his own blood, his body full of bruises caused by my family and their people. He was in pain, and his eyes were sad, and even though my father told me to stay away from them, I chose to hold his hand and trust him. “Hi!” I greeted him but he only looked at me. I gave him my smile, but he didn’t even flinch. He looked lonely…. and very sad. Of course, who would be happy to stay here… in this dark shabby room, chained? No one. “Are you bad?” My second attempt to befriend him. “No.” he answered with a straight face.  If I'm like the other kids, I would be trembling to death now, but I’m not. “Really? Why are they punishing you then? I asked. He didn’t even look at me. “Are you hungry? I have candies in my pockets. Do you want some? I tried again. “I’m a wolf, and I’m both thirsty and hungry,” he finally answered. I felt bad after hearing him say that. Papa said their kind is bad, so I thought he would be sarcastic with me. I didn’t expect him to be straightforward, not in a polite way, but not harsh. “Oh, will you wait for me then? I’ll sneak some food and water for you, I will comeback in a minute” I didn’t give him the chance to speak as I ran fast without looking back, feeling so excited with my newfound friend. Friend. I smiled. He doesn’t look friendly, but he doesn’t look bad either. When I was near the kitchen, I walked silently to avoid being caught. Everyone hates him, and if they found out that I’m talking and wanting to feed him, they won’t allow me, and he will miss the chance to eat. I made sure no one was in the kitchen before entering. I grabbed a bread knife, mayonnaise, bread, lettuce, tomato, and meat for the sandwich. There were still leftovers from the dinner so I grabbed it and took it with me. I did not forget the water and fruits, I also brought a wet towel to wipe his face. I store it all inside the basket I saw earlier. It was heavy for a six-year-old girl to carry, but it was already midnight and almost everyone was asleep, plus there were no guards, so no one could see me, but I still walked fast but carefully, afraid that they might wake up and then, I'd be doomed. I made sure no one was inside the room before entering while carrying the foods I got from the kitchen. . “Tadaa! I’m back”, I giggled as I put the basket down. And because the basket wouldn’t fit in the hole between the iron bars, i placed the red towel on the floor inside the bars and transferred the foods there before entering. And because I’m still six, thin and small, it was easy for me. I gave him the water first because I knew he's thirsty, he'd been there for two or three days without eating nor drinking. He’s chained, so I helped him. “I brought a lot because I don’t know what you like. You must be very hungry, tired and drained. Don’t worry, you won’t be hungry anymore. I’ll feed you every day.” “We wolves eat what you humans eat, and I’m starving, and I will be very thankful if you feed me now,” he said, and i proceeded to help him eat. “Wow! You are such a good eater, is that the reason why you became so tall?” because i want to befriend him, i started to talk while i help him eat. He blinked, then continued eating. “Maybe” he answered. “A scrumptious sandwich” I blushed at his remark, shy. This is the first time I made a sandwich. He noticed that my face was as red as a tomato, so he stopped munching and tease me. “What? Are you shy?” I nodded slowly, still shy. “Is this your first sandwich?” this time, I covered my face with my little hands. He laughed heartily and I was in awe. I made this mister laugh. My heart was happy, though he’s covered with bruises, he still managed to laugh. The embarrassment I felt faded with his laugh. I stood proud, then answered him. “It is, you should feel honored, you are the first person who had the chance to taste it” I said, then laughed with him. After helping him eat, I decided to wipe his face with the wet towel I brought with me earlier. “What’s your name?” he suddenly asked me. I stopped. “Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! Hello, my name is Amélie Sanchel. I’m six. My name means strive. My grandpa and papa named me. I’m the only girl of five. I have four older brothers. My grandpa and papa may be bad, but they love me so much because I look like my grandma. She passed away a long time ago, they say that she was killed by wolf-“ I stopped. I looked at him, he didn’t look offended, so I continued. “They both said that she was killed by wolves, your friends. I don’t want to believe that because mama said it’s bad to plant hate in our hearts, it’ll be painful.” “You’re a sanchel?” he asked, and I nodded. “You think they’re bad?” I nodded again. “Why, they are your family, aren’t you supposed to side with them?” “Papa’s always hurting my mama, every time he’s mad, mama will hide me inside the cabinet. I always witness how he abused her. That’s bad. She’s his wife. They married each other, they have children, so I don’t understand why. Mama said it’s okay, papa’s just upset, she loves my papa so she’s trying to understand everything. My grandpa doesn’t like my mama, he will always yell at her, throw bad words, but my papa doesn’t seem to care. I don’t like it.” I didn’t notice that I was crying so hard. “My mama is so pure, yet they are hurting her, she’s always wearing long sleeves to hide her bruises from my brothers because she doesn’t want them to hate my father. See? She loves him so much even though he’s hurting her, I wonder if he even loves my mama.” I cried loudly while trying to wipe my tears with my tiny hands. “Shhh, it’s not okay but please stop crying. The guards might wake up.” I tried to stop crying after hearing that, but it wasn’t easy. He seemed to notice that I was having a hard time stopping my tears. “Look at me, copy what I do okay?” I looked at him and nodded. “We’ll do the breathing exercise, follow after me, Inhale – Exhale, one more time, Inhale – Exhale.” I followed what he’s doing and noticed that I’m back with my normal breathing. I smiled. But my smile fades after realizing what I have done. My cheeks flushed again. I just told him what’s making me upset! I even cried, and I did not just cry, I cried loudly! “W-wow! I-it worked, thank you and sorry, I got carried away, this is my first time telling someone about this.” We both became silent after that. I didn’t even try to start a conversation because I’m still embarrassed with how I ranted and cried in front of him. “Your father… do you hate him?” he asked after the long silence. “I don’t know, maybe…. I care for him, but I don’t like that they’re hurting my mom. I also hate myself, I’m always the reason for my mom’s misery…. My mistakes mean my mom will suffer.” “You mean every time you make a mistake, they will hurt your mother?” I nodded. “Yes, when I was a little younger, every time I cried, it’s either they hurt or yelled at her. I shouldn’t be bitten by mosquitos, there shouldn’t be scars or wounds or grandpa will be mad. They treasure and care for me so much.” I smiled bitterly. “Are you sure you’re only six years old? Your words are too deep, you sound like an adult”, he teased. I know he’s just trying to lift my mood. I smiled. “Thank you miste—” I stopped, remembering that he hadn’t introduced himself yet. “Oh, I almost forgot! What about you? What’s your name?” I looked at him curiously, I’m back to my usual self again. “Eugene… Eugene Atrimelfos, I’m a wolf.” “Oh! You have a pretty name just like mine.” I laughed like the little girl I am. “I have a question… how did they caught you? How did you get here?” I looked at him, my eyes full of curiosity. “My friends and I are inspecting the area---” And because I’m not that patient and very curious, I cut him off so I could ask him a question. “You were not alone? Where are your friends? Were they caught?” He frowned, probably because I cut him off. “Oops, sorry” I grinned and made a peace sign as I sat down while hugging my doll. “We were inspecting the place at that time when they suddenly attacked us – your family’s men. We had no choice but to defend ourselves, we planned to run and escape to avoid casualties… and even though we were outnumbered, we could handle them. We wolves are stronger than humans, plus I’m the packs’ beta. We were so confident, but…. It was a trap, they'd planned everything, they were expecting us, they were all over the place. The next thing I knew, I was in this dark place, full of bruises and covered with blood. I don’t even know where the others are’’ He smiled bitterly. “it’s not okay… but everything will be all right. I don’t know what a beta is but you’re a beta, you’re stronger than we humans…. Do you want to go home? I’ll help you!” I said cheerfully, trying to comfort him. “ Of course, I want to go home. I want to be with my wife and son, I want to witness my wife giving birth to our little princess, I want to guide my son as he grows up, I want to be with them.” I noticed the single tear that escaped his eyes. “Even if you try to help me, it’ll be impossible to escape, and even if I’m a beta, it’s just so…. Impossible.” He tried to smile, but I could see through him, he wanted to escape, I could see the longing in his eyes. ‘’How old is your son? And will you have another baby? And a girl like me?!” I asked, feeling excited with the thought of seeing another baby girl. He smiled. “My son, he’s eleven years old, a little older than you. And my wife’s five months pregnant now, with our baby girl, like you” his eyes are full of adoration. And with that, I’ve already decided. I decided to help him no matter what. “I’ll help you. And I’m serious, I might be just a little girl to you, but I’m strong” I tried to wink, but ended up blinking. He laughed. “Okay, thank you. As much as I want to refuse, this is the only chance I have… you are my only hope. So, okay. My life is in your tiny hands. Do you have a plan?” I smiled, then started explaining what I had in mind. “Okay, so first and foremost, what is a beta?’’ I smiled cutely. “A beta is the second in command of the pack. The beta is the highest rank in the wolf pack, second to the alpha. Wolves are stronger than humans, but the beta is stronger than the rest of the wolf members. I’m the alpha’s right hand, I’m also his best friend. The alpha is the leader, I’m stronger, but he’s the strongest,” he explained. “Oh, ookay. Now that I’m enlightened, let’s proceed with the plan. On top of it all, you need to, no. You must regain your strength. You will. I’ll help you. I’ll visit you every midnight when everyone is asleep. Since you’re not a normal wolf, it’ll be easier for us. We only have 3 days. I’ll try to distract everyone in 3 days. I’ll try to find the master keys to open all the doors and the map. Why 3 days? Because it’ll be my 7th birthday in 3 days. Everyone will be busy preparing for my birthday, and even though you’re important to them, I’m my family’s princess, so they won't bug you until my birthday ends. There will be a lot of guards who’ll watch this room, but they won’t hurt you because my birthday is their top priority. The guards won’t be a problem, I’ll handle them. All you need to do is rest, be healthy and strong again. You should regain your old self’s strength. We will start our plan tomorrow. Just relax and don’t tire yourself, we only have each other. I don’t have anyone whom I can ask for help, not even my mother. I love her… but she won’t help us because she loves my father so much, she will never betray him. We can’t trust anyone here.” “I don’t know why you’re helping me, but then… I have nothing to lose, so I’ll trust my life in you.” That made me smile. “Thank you! I won’t disappoint you! I’ll be back tomorrow midnight to bring you food. For now, I need to go to bed. Goodnight and thank you for being my first friend”. I waved him goodbye while smiling so wide, I left the room while carrying the basket with full of determination. I’ll do everything to succeed. He needs to be with his family again. March 17, 2001 I woke up earlier that day. I took a shower before going to the dining hall with my mom. My father, brothers and grandfather were already sitting there, waiting for us. Everyone was eating silently when my grandfather spoke and asked me. “Your 7th birthday’s nearing, the preparation will start today. Do you have a request? The food, theme, design?” “I’m fine with anything!” I tried to fake a smile and managed to deliver a wide and genuine one. He seemed a bit suspicious of me being fine with everything they wanted for my birthday. “I mean, everything is fine with me as long as I celebrate it with you all.” I smiled again to convince him. “Okay, then at least choose what you’ll wear at your party,” he said. I nodded. “Uhm… Grandpa… can I stay in your office today? I want to play there today… can I?” I spoke nervously and when he was about to speak, but I cut him off. “I’ll clean it after I play, I promise!” I raised my right hand and my left hand’s pinky finger to show him how sincere I am. “Hmmm…” “Please…” I showed him my puppy eyes. I love you so much, grandpa, but I have to do this. What you're doing is wrong. I might be a kid and can’t understand everything that much, but I know what is right, and imprisoning a wolf just because you hate their kind is wrong. “Okay, fine. You can stay and play there. I won’t stay for today anyway, I have things to do---” again, I cut him off. “Huh?! Where are you going? You’re not going to help prepare my birthday? I thought… I could play with you...” I bowed my head down while putting on a sad face. “Elie, grandfather’s a busy person, stop being a brat and continue eating your fo--” Papa cut my brother’s words. “Stop it Elliot, your sister’s not a brat, she’s still young, that’s why she’s emotional about things.” My brother, Elliot scowled at papa’s words. “She’s being unreasonable, papa, how can she be upset if grandfather is leaving? It’s a normal thing for a leader to leave to attend important matters. This is how it works.” “She’s still young, eli.” Our oldest, Brandon. Before they start to fight, I step in. “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry. Eli… grandpa. I was just looking forward to playing with you. It’s fine though. I can play with myself or the other villagers”. I tried to smile even though my eyes were already sparkling with tears. Eli’s face looks regretful after seeing my eyes sparkling with tears. I bow my head down and proceed to eat. “Elie, I’m sorry”. I can see the sincerity in his eyes while apologizing. I smiled at him. “I’m okay, let’s eat.” I replied while giving him my smile. We all fell silent and continued eating. “Don’t worry Ellie, grandpa will be back soon. I won’t miss your day, of course. For now, just play everywhere you want to, okay?” My eyes widened after hearing that. “E-everywhere?” “Yes, everywhere. Everywhere but the dungeon.” That’s papa. “Of course, why would I play there? That place is scary”, I shivered. “Goodbye Grandpa! Take care, I will miss you and papa. Be back before my birthday, you two. I love you both.” I said then kissed their cheeks. I wave my hands as they leave the village. When they both disappeared with the other villagers men on my sight, I smiled wickedly, done with my façade. “I care for you two… but this is too much, grandma’s gone, long gone. This has to end.” I whispered, a whisper that only the wind could hear. “Elie?” Mom called. “Hmm?” “Let’s go? They’ll be back soon. Stop being sad”, she smiled softly. My heart melts. My poor mother, why does she have to love our father so much? Why does it have to be my father? He doesn’t love her the way she does. My parent’s love story is still a mystery to me. Is it really a love story? How my mom loves him so much, how my father hurt her, physically and emotionally, is a mystery to me. My mother. A soft-spoken person who fell in love with someone as harsh as him. I nodded and then held her hand. I smiled at her. I can only give you my smile and hold your hand, for now. I’ll save you from being drowned, someday. I hope… that time will come fast… before it’s too late. I can’t be late. Thoughts about our escape plan, my plan, filled my head. I need to find the keys first. The key to the dungeon, and the key to the chains. I was walking through the corridors while thinking about the possible places where they could hide the keys when I saw my mom walking. I waved my hand at her, but she didn’t see me as she walked going left. When I was about to call her, I saw Nicarro, a plumber from the town, walking after my mother. I’m curious about their whereabouts, but I have a lot of things in mind to even worry about why they are together. I continued walking, still thinking about the things I would need to help Eugene, my friend, escape this sick place, when i bumped into my older brother, Elliot. I remember how unfair my father was towards him earlier. He was about to walk past me. “Eli…” I called. He stopped and faced me. “Yes?” he answered coolly. “Uh… a-about what happened? E-earlier…” I’m too shy to face him so I chose to look at the floor while talking to him. He’s neither moving nor saying anything, so I raised my head to see his reaction. I don’t know if it’s just me or I really saw the sadness in his eyes. It was a quick sight though, when he saw me looking at him, curiously, his face became stoic, just like how it was.. “Uh... I want to apologize for my actions earlier. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to put it to words but I’m truly sorry.” I didn’t give him the chance to reply, after saying my apologies, I turned my back on him and started walking to grandpa’s office. I didn’t mean to make him look like a bad person earlier, when we were having breakfast. I don’t want to be a brat either, like I did earlier. But I have to. I must. This is a matter of life and death. I just… need to do that to help my friend. I feel sorry for my brother, but i feel so sorry for Eugene too. I started searching for the keys inside grandpa’s office, but I was there for half an hour, and I didn’t find anything, not even a map. It would have been easier if the guards are holding the keys! But no! Grandpa’s the one who's hiding it. I decided to just call it a day and continue my search tomorrow. When I was about to open the door, I heard footsteps, footsteps. I immediately hid inside the cabinet in my grandfather’s office. No one can enter the office! Especially now that grandfather and father left! I covered my mouth with my hands so whoever that is wouldn’t hear me. I can’t see who it was or what he’s doing. I can’t risk it. No one dared to enter this room, everything is stored in here, so I’m sure that the person who entered is dangerous. A moment of silence and I heard the door closed. He already left. I sigh, relief. I’m still curious but I let it go. I need to do things. I have my own thing, that should be my priority. When night came, I made sure no one was awake before going to the kitchen. I picked up the basket and stored the leftovers from the dinner earlier. I wore my black cape before walking to the dungeon. There are no guards like yesterday midnight. Just like yesterday, I helped him eat and drink, then we proceeded to the plan. He suggests the places where the keys might be stored. I plan to search in his room later in the morning. I’m sure it was there. Apart from the office, grandfather’s room is also forbidden. My father and I are the only exception. Me, because I am the favorite child and him as the future leader. We need the map, just like me he doesn’t know the blueprint of this house. We can’t risk being caught. The keys are for the doors, his chain, the bars. After talking about the plan, we decided to call it a night. March 18, 2001 The day before my birthday, Father and grandpa will arrive later. I don’t know if it’s afternoon or what, so I should hurry. Just like usual, I bathed, eat breakfast and then I am now in his room. Just like yesterday, everyone is busy preparing for my birthday party. I searched and searched but just like usual, there’s nothing but frames and papers I don’t understand. I even saw a list of packs. I saw Eugene’s name under the name carterie. It must be a family name of the current alpha in their pack. It was stated there that he was the beta, just like he told me. I don’t understand the meaning of the lines on the names but when I saw the legends, my heart skipped. I know that he’s not the first or second or fifth person who was caged, chained, and tortured in that dungeon but the names of the people with an underline is innumerable! The legend says that the names who were underlined are the people or wolves they killed from the past to now. There was even a date and the place where they left the body! And Eugene’s name! It was already underlined, and the date was my birth date! With so much trembling, I did not even realize that my tears were dripping like waterfalls. I know that they’re cruel, but how can they? I know that they’re still mourning my sweet grandmother, but this is wrong! So wrong. My search didn’t stop there. My emotions are overflowing but this is my last chance. I can’t waste it! I searched the drawers but there was nothing. I am still shocked, but I cannot let that rule me. I checked his closet, I even checked his paintings because there might be a secret buttons there, or maybe when I moved the paintings, there would be a vault. But there was nothing. I was so close to giving up when I noticed something. A small frame attached to the wall caught my curiosity. It was a picture of someone, a girl, a very pretty girl in her twenty’s, with her skin white as a dove, straight hair, narrow nose, almond eyes and pouty lips that, even in the picture, looked soft. Beside him is my grandfather in his younger years. But that’s not it. It is covered with a curtain and is a little bit tilted. I didn’t waste any time and approached it immediately. It was kind of placed somewhere I can’t reach, so I dragged the chair and climbed immediately. I touched it before holding it with my tiny hands. It was tilted, so I tilted it more. Not long after, the wall beside the frame opened. There was a stair. I walked along the stairs and when I reached the top, I saw another door. It wasn’t locked. I entered the room and I saw more pictures of the same girl inside the room. There were also guns and rifles. There were books, a bouquet of dried flowers. I saw the same picture of the girl and my grandfather on top of a table. I picked it up, there was something written on the back of the pictures. It says, “Happy 24th birthday, Ymillio! I wish you happiness and good health. – Emily.” There was also a date at the bottom of the frame. January 28, 1957. Who is Emily? Is she my father’s first love? My grandmother is Valeria. Does it mean, before her, there was someone else? God knows how curious I am, but instead of digging more, I put the frame down and searched the drawers. It wasn’t long when I saw a map inside the chest. There was the blueprint of the house and the map of the village and the woods. This is it. Now, I only need the keys. I searched the drawers but there was nothing but papers and pictures. I tried to look at the glass cabinet where the guns and rifles were stored, and I was right! It was there. The keys. The group of keys of this manor. I tried to open the glass door of the cabinet, but it was locked. All my hopes were gone when I suddenly remembered that a saw a single key, but I completely ignored it, thinking it was not important. I smirked. I tried the key on the cabinet’s door, and I smiled with victory when it opened. I was so proud of myself, but it immediately faded when I heard the neigh of the horses. I went to the window to check, and to my horror, it was my father with their men! They are here! Grandfather’s home! I picked up the key and closed the door. I put the key of the cabinet on the drawer. I brought the map with me before closing the door of the secret room. I made sure everything was on its right place before leaving the room. I ran to my room. When I was already inside, I sighed with relief. I found it! My search was a success! Just when I thought, I could now breathe peacefully. I heard a man’s voice. “How’s your plan doing?’’ I jumped. And there I saw my brother, sitting comfortably on my couch with a book in his hand. My heart skipped, my lips parted. “L-lucas.” I uttered. “Have you found the map and the keys?” Words are not enough to describe how scared and shocked I am. “W-what are you talking about?” “Oh, don’t even try to hide it from me, my dear sister.” He smirked. “Eugene, huh? Your Wolf friend? The one you visit every midnight, when everyone is asleep? Oh wait! Not everyone.” His mouth formed an o as he put his left hand on his mouth, acting shocked, then he laughed.