The Officer's Beauty

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Footsteps echo in the silence. Stones crackle under the heavy fall of boots. A curious mutter fills the room around me. The air is tingling with curiosity. Brrrr-att-att-att! BANG! The whole couch shakes from the explosion. Emotions erupt throughout the room. All my friends are shivering and holding onto one another, staring at the screen as the television alights with the bright oranges and reds of fire. A building is collapsing as gunfire breaks out. The men are dropped to the sand, fighting for their lives. Every eye is glued to the movie in anticipation... except mine. I keep my eyes down, scrolling my feed and wishing we could have picked anything else to watch. That's all I can do to stay quiet. This is the perfect example of a night in my own personal hell. In fact, if I were to imagine what the devil's punishment for my sins would be, it would be me tied to a chair sitting in front of an endless war film. Casting a glance around the room at every enthralled person around me, I sneak away to the bathroom. The moment the door clicks behind me, the palms of my hands meet with my eye sockets. In the distance, a collective gasp and a few shrieks sound out. I allow myself to slide down the door and plop myself on the cool tiles. In an attempt to ignore the growing irritation, I drop my hands from my face, pull my phone out of my pocket, and swipe a few pages over to the cute little pink box. My distraction is one tap away. I absent-mindedly press my thumb against the screen. Pictures fill the screen, a heart on one side and an 'X' on the other. "Hmm," my brow arches at the first guy that pops up. A cute smirk and a shock of blonde hair. I suppose I could do worse, so I swipe right. A grimace crosses my face with the next picture that pops up. Why do men insist on taking pictures with dead animals? The smell of death and salty ocean spray fills the room. The air is hot and clammy. I can feel the mucus building in the back of my throat, so I have to quickly swipe left before even more comes up. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. I jump as the voice rings out. "Marnie, are you okay?" I should have expected Jamie to be the one to notice I was gone. He never lets me just escape into the background. There's something to be said for having an extroverted best friend as an introvert. I didn't even think I had been gone that long, but I can't hide in here forever. So, I stand and open the door, shoving my phone in my bestie's face. "What do you think? Right or left?" His face twists in shock momentarily before a sly grin slathers itself across his features. Something about his reaction is off-putting, but I choose to ignore it in the moment. I didn't even look at the guy before giving him this choice. Thinking about that, I am starting to regret letting him swipe without any knowledge of my own. I start to pull the phone back so I can sneak a peek, and he quickly swipes right to keep me from getting a look. "Oh, for sure. He'll be good for you," he says with a wink. "So, you've been hiding in the bathroom to creep on dating apps? You know you could have done that on the couch, right?" He snickers and turns on his heel to lead me out the door. I drop my head and stare at my dimming screen, wondering what he unleashed on me. I almost hope whoever it was won't swipe back just so I never have to face the embarrassment of admitting I didn't choose him. Slowly, I scuffle my way back to the group behind Jamie. "There's our girl!" Erika squeals, holding her arms out for me to collapse into. I fall against her and curl into a ball. "Here I am," I mutter into her chest. Everyone knows my feelings about the military. I've never been good at keeping my opinions quiet. For some reason, I can only bite my tongue when it might make my current partner's family hate me. Otherwise? I am as loud-mouthed as loud-mouth can be. And the military? That is one area where I can get the most heated. No one suggests opening that can of worms around me. But my friends have already heard everything, so I definitely don't need to get into it all over again. "I'm sorry, lovey. I should have picked something we would all enjoy," she gives me a squeeze. The other girls echo the thought with varying degrees of agreement. I know they all love the dramatized-war-sexy-sad-soldier thing, so I can't fault them for picking exactly that. Shaking my head, I quickly toss that idea away. "No, never apologize. One person's opinion shouldn't cause the whole group to lose what they love! Besides, I even almost made it the whole way through!" Giggles flow around me, and Erika shoves me off of her. "Oh, whatever, you sorta love them!" My jaw drops so hard that everyone can hear the pop. "Excuse me? I have never been more insulted in my whole life," I barely manage to let my eyes fall from hers to the rest of the group. "And I was once told by my date that my personality was dog s**t, and I would never find love. So, really, that's saying a lot," I finish with a humph as I drop dramatically back against the couch. The room feels intense for exactly point two seconds before laughter dances around us. It's like a disease, spreading through the group slowly, then with an exponential speed that is both hilarious and horrifying to witness. I smile and shake my head at the group as the chatter continues around me, but the moment Jamie's body sinks into the couch beside me, my mind goes quickly from the friendly conversations to the curiosity eating at my brain. Who did Jamie say would be good for me? Was he cute? Did his bio say something funny? Is he tall or short? Will he swipe back? Will I even know him apart from the others if he does? And why did Jamie look so shocked? Was it just the suddenness of the phone, or was it because of the man I showed him? Was he totally out of my league? Not my type? I glance down at my phone, hoping the screen will light up with a name I don't recognize. I can feel the subtle bouncing of my knee begin. With a little sigh at the darkness staring back at me, I look up and watch the rest of the credits scroll by on the television. Jamie nudges me, concern etched across his face. "You okay?" He mouths with eyebrows furrowed. I give a curt nod and a small smile. Of course, I am perfectly fine. Right? I think. f**k. What have I gotten myself into?