Death Maiden

Chapter 09

The Girl's POV

Hindi ko maintindihan at malaman ang eksaktong nararamdaman ko sa nakikita kong pangyayari ngayon. This is not something that's so alien to me dahil nakita at naramdaman ko din ang eksenang ito noong buhay pa ang mga magulang ko. Ganun din sila mag-alala tulad ng matandang lalaking nasa harap ko ngayon. Napatingin sa akin ang nakakatandang lalaki. He smiled and mouthed the words, 'thank you very much', at me.

Of course, nabigla ako. Ilang ulit na ba akong nabigla ng dahil sa mga pinapakitang abnormal (for me) nila sa akin.

What the heck? Why are they bringing those kinds of thoughts, memories and feelings to me? What happened last night was something I can't really imagine...again. I mean, I saved again someone, this time, he's that guy's son!

Alam kong gusto ko siyang patayin dahil sa ginawa niya sa akin pero hindi eh alam kung may kinalaman din ito sa ginawa niya sa batang lalaki. Basta ang gusto ko lang talagang mangyari kagabi ay sisiguraduhin kong hindi na masisinagan pa ulit ng araw ang lalaking yun. Buti na lang at mahina siya dahil kung isa siya sa "Angels of Death" baka ako ang hindi na masisinagan pa ulit ng araw. Hindi padin kasi bumabalik ang kabubuan ng lakas ko. Mahinang-mahina pa talaga ako.

Nagmadali akong naglakad papasok sa bahay kahit medyo masakit ang mga paa ko. I heard them shouting behind me to help me at para alalayan ako pero hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad. Nang makarating ako sa kwarto ko, nilock ko yung pinto at hiniga ko ang buo kong katawan sa kama.

Grabe na ang nangyayari sa akin these past few days. It's like, it's not me anymore. This is not who I used to be. Bumabalik sa akin ang mga nakaraan ko--ang ako sa nakaraan. The weaker me. Then I realized something. From now on, I need to do something para hindi na 'to maulit pang muli sa kanila and in order to do that, I have to get away far from them.

Palakad-lakad ako sa loob ng kwarto nagpaplano sa susunod kong gagawin. Pag-umalis ako ngayon, saan naman ako pupunta? Wala na akong mapupuntahan, dito lang talaga. Naramdaman kong paakyat ang matanda. Buti naman at medyo bumabalik na ang lakas ko. The next thing I knew, nakapasok na siya sa loob ng kwarto na nilock ko naman kanina pagkatapos kung pumasok. I don't know how he did manage to open it that swiftly.

Hindi niya kasama ang bata? Baka nagpapahinga na.

"Don't worry. He's okay. Nakatulog na siya," he assured me.

Umiwas agad ko ng tingin. "I didn't ask for that."

"Okay. Okay. Sabi mo eh." Halatang hindi siya naniniwala. Nakakainis. He's acting like he know me already kahit hindi naman. Psh. "I know what you're thinking."

"What exactly am I thinking?"

"Aalis ka dito."

Hindi ako sumagot. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya samantalang uupo sana siya sa kama but I shot him a deadly glare before he could sit on it, umupo na lang siya sa may silya. Alam niyang bawal na bawal umupo sa higaan ko.

"I understand why pero saan ka naman pupunta? Wala ka nang ibang mapupuntahan."

"Maghahanap ako ng paraan."

Nagkaroon ng pansamantalang katahimikan sa kwarto. He's the one who broke the silence first. "Was it the same man who attacked me last time?"

I nodded.

"Kung ganun, ikaw ang pakay niya."

"Tama. That's why I need to get away."

"Isa ba siya sa.....Angels of Death?"

Nanlaki agad ang mga mata ko. With reflex, I jumped for the nearest knife I could get and dashed towards him, charged myself on him and put the knife on his neck, while I pinned him on the floor. What I did left him in utterly shock. "What the f**k!" He screamed but I covered my other hand on his mouth while he's struggling to get away from me.

What did he just say? Paano niya nalaman 'yun? I know he's more than what he says and shows he is but this was more than what I thought about him.

"Old man, who the hell are you?" I hissed, glaring at him in anger.

That petrified me and with reflex, I jumped for the nearest knife I could get and dashed towards him, charged myself at him and put my arm on his neck and the knife on the side of his neck. while I pinned him on the floor. What I did left him in utterly shock. "What the f**k!" He screamed but I covered my other hand on his mouth while he's struggling to get away from me.

What did he just say? Paano niya nalaman 'yun? I know he's more than what he says and shows he is but this was more than what I thought about him.

"Old man, who the hell are you or I will kill you right now!" I said, glaring at him in anger. Nasa leeg niya na ang dulo ng kutsilyo at nakikita ko ang konting dugo na lumalabas galing dito kaya dali-dali siyang kumuha ng tela at inilagay sa kanyang leeg.

"Get off of me!" He yelled and coughed. "If you want to know the truth then get your hands off me!"

Tiningnan ko muna siya nga maigi bago kumalas at tumayo. I mean if he had bad intentions knowing who I was, he could have done that before, he had a lot of chances. "One false move and I'll throw this knife directly to your heart." I threatened.

He staggered to get his balance back and to catch his breath. "What the f**k! You--you girl is really something, huh?" He said in between breaths. "I can't believe this. You almost killed me, your wrench!" Napahawak siya sa kanyang noo at napansin ang konting dugo na lumabas rito. "You, fool!"

"Now, talk." I demanded while my hand is playing with the knife I'm readying to throw at him.

Hinga muna siya ng malalim bago nagsimulang magsalita, "Alam ko na, matagal na, kung sino ka. I saw the Phoenix at your back. The symbol of the 'Angels of Death'. At first, I thought maybe you just put something like that on your back just for fun like all teenagers do but then when I saw you that night, when you attacked that man and fought with him, I knew then who you really were."

"Paano mo nalaman ang tungkol sa Phoenix?" I greethed my teeth.

"Because I was once working in the Dark Phoenix Organization. That was 10 years ago."

"What! You were once part of the organization?" I was more shocked now than before. This is unbelievable! Pinaglalaruan ba niya ako ngayon?

"Yes. I was and that's all you have to know."

"Paano ka nakatakas? Paano mo...I mean..Impossible! You can't escape the organization!"

"I can and I did and I don't want to talk about the past anymore. Let's stick to the problem at hand, shall we?"

He's impossible! I can't believe he was once a part of it and was able to escape! How can he?!

"May dapat ka pang malaman. Hindi ka ba nagtataka kung paano ko nalaman na ikaw ang nagmamay-ari ng bahay na 'to?"

That made me stop to what I'm thinking earlier. Ang buo kong atensyon ay nasa sasabihin niya ngayon.

"Then, sumama ka sa akin."

Tumayo siya at nauna ng lumakad like he wanted me to follow him. Without having second thoughts, sumunod ako sa kanya. I want to hear everything that he has to say and he has to show to me.

Pumunta kami sa isang kwarto kung saan natutulog ang aking mga magulang noon. After that dreadful night when I was young, I never did enter this room not until now.

"Sorry if 'di na kami nakapagpaalam sa'yo na dito na kami natutulog."

He opened another small door na parang hindi ko pa nakita dati.

"We kinda looked around the whole house and we discovered this. This door was hidden behind that wardrobe over there."

He opened the door and it made a creaking sound. I still have my knife on my hand, if he does something wrong then I really have to kill him.

Behind the door was a small staircase paakyat...to where?

"Let's go." Nauna na siyang umakyat. I'm still confused now, paano nagkaroon ng ganito sa bahay na wala naman noon sa pagkakaalala ko.

Sumunod na rin ako sa kanya.

Umakyat kami sa isang hagdanan na gawa sa kahoy. Hindi naman ito masyadong mataas kaya nakarating kami kaagad sa isang hugis kahon na opening. Pumasok ako at bumalagta sa akin ang isang maliit na kwarto. Isang attic.

Walang ibang laman ang attic kundi isang kahon na nasa dulo ng attic.

"Nadiskubre ko ang lugar na'to nung naglilinis kami ng bahay. At dahil narin sa curiosity ko--"

"You opened the box?!" I shouted in disbelief kahit hindi ko alam kung anong laman nito, hindi parin tamang buksan nila ito. "It's not yours to open! Damn you!"

"I know! I know! And I'm sorry. I just opened it once and ngayon lang ako ulit pumasok."

I angrily walked passed him papunta sa kahon. Ano kayang nandito? I opened the lid of the big brown old box and I saw papers, folders and documents. There were also pictures and notebooks.

"I'll be just downstairs. Take your time to read and look at those things. Don't worry hindi niya alam ang tungkol sa attic na 'to at isa pa, isang baby picture lang nakita ko diyan. When I realized they were private matters, I immediately stopped looking at them."

I looked at him incredulously, not believing what he just said was right.

"I promise and swear! Only one." He said in defense and in assurance.

I looked at him intently and I can read through his expression that he wasn't lying at all.

With that, umalis na siya at ako na lang mag-isa sa attic. I scanned the pictures and clip-arts of some magazines and newspapers. Our family was featured especially my parents. We even had a family picture back then. My parents were scientists and researchers, that's why they're famous.

The one that stood out of everything else was a big sized notebook where 'My Journal' was written on the cover.

It was written by my dad, Dr. John Mason Palmes, where his signature was signed above his name.

I read the first page of the first entry.

June 1987

'Magiging first year highschool na ako! I'm so excited to be a freshman. I will meet new friends, new classmates and new teachers.'

Kung ganun, highschool pa lang siya nung nagsulat siya nito? Parang siyang babae, may diary pa! Psh. Pero 'yun naman talaga ugali niya noon pa.

'I can't wait for the new learnings! You know, nerd ako diba? I wonder what we'll do on our first laboratory experiment. Sana hindi na puro dissections of animals especially frogs, alam ko na kasi 'yun eh. Gusto ko 'yung about sa explosives! Pero mukhang hindi naman ata papayag ang school nito. O nga pala before I forgot, "Welcome to Academy!" (claps hands and congratulates thyself) Eto ang pinapangarap kong school simula bata pa ako. Puro kasi mayayaman ang nandito, except me, ang nag-aaral at tsaka may dorm pa! Kumpleto din ang mga facilities nila kaya for sure marami din akong matutunan dito.'

As I turned on the next page, sa likod, napansin kong blanko ito at napunit ang dapat na susunod dito na page, as well as all the other pages!

Ano? Bakit? Bakit wala ang ibang entry? What the hell? Hinanap ko yung ibang pages sa loob ng kahon pero wala akong makita. Nasaan na ba 'yun? Hindi pwedeng mawala nalang basta-basta yun! At tsaka sinong pumunit?

This is so frustrating! Where are the other pages?

Then I noticed something. A white paper na medyo nakalabas ng bahagya galing sa journal ng papa ko. I tried to pull it out pero di ko makuha, pumapagitna kasi siya sa leather cover at sa hard cover ng diary. I took out the leather cover first and I saw the whole part of the paper. It was a letter folded by three. When I opened it, hindi masyadong maganda ang pagkasulat. It was hastily written using a black ink.

Bakit ba siya nagmamadali sa pagsulat nito?

I read the letter.

'Dear Anak,

When you're reading this letter, then I'm sure we're already gone, forever. I know it will be harder from this moment onwards. I tore the pages of the journal because it's not for anyone to see and these are the most important documents that they needed'

Huh? Bakit ganun? The last letter 'd' was written like it can be hardly read as 'd'. When you would normally write the letter 'd', you would write first 'c' before you write the horizontal line downward, 'l'. So the last point where your pen must be down the horizontal line. But in the letter the horizontal line was written like a long curve, the last point was extended over several millimeters long. It means that he was interrupted when he wrote 'd'. There wasn't even a period after the last word and what does he mean by 'they'?

The next sentence, which was harder to be read as compared to the sentences before, came as:

'Go to Academy. Everything wil b answered. Burn this letter and all others inside box.'

He wrote it with incomplete sentences which definitely means his agitation in writing this.

The last part sent me almost into tears.

'Please be strong, dear. We love you so much.'

His signature was at the bottom of the letter.

I don't know how should I react. I am sad and lonely, that's for sure, but I don't know why I couldn't cry maybe because it already happened for a very long time and besides, it sent me more into a baffling state. I quicky stood up, put the journal and the letter inside the box and went down from the attic, to where the old man was waiting. I just walked passed him and just continued to walk out of the room and down into the living room. Kumuha muna ako ng posporo na nakita ko lang sa may kabinet sa sala at lumabas na kaagad sa bahay. Umupo ako sa may kahoy na naputol na at sinimulan ng sunugin ang laman ng kahon.

"Are you sure you're really going to burn everything?" Sabi ng matanda.

I chose not to answer him but yes, I am sure. If I want complete and detailed answers, then mas mabuting walang makakaalam kung sino ako.

"You told me that you knew that I am the owner of the house. How can you, when these are only pictures when I was young and as far as I can see, I don't see any resemblance between the me now and the me before?" I asked him but my eyes were still on the fire while I am still burning the papers.

Napansin kong umupo siya sa isang natumbang kahoy malapit sa akin.

"Behind one of those pictures has certain notes or account written by the mother. That baby have a crescent moon-shaped birth mark just above her right ankle and there was a picture of it and it completely resembles just like yours."

So that was it. Akala ko may alam pa siyang iba.

"You know you don't have to go immediately I mean like tomorrow. You don't even know the place! Just one month! One month before you'd go there. We need to plan before we-"

"We?" I asked in disbelief and turned in his direction. He talked really fast like he wasn't really himself at all. It was so not like him. He was more like babbling than talking. When I looked at him, I can't believe the look on his face. A look of concern and a little sadness.

"Yes..." He looked away.

I don't know why but I don't want to argue with him right now and I think he's a little right, only just right now. I really need a plan. Ayokong magpadalos-dalos.

"At isa pa, I bet it's been a long time since you had entered a class and as far as I could see now, you're not...ahm....really....that friendly and sociable."

I furrowed my eyebrows at what he just said. "What! What does go to school have to do with being friendly and sociable?"

"Ahm...everything? Tell me, if you were in your right state of mind and body when you enter the house and you found us living under your roof, what would you do to us?" He told me with a challenging look.

"I probably would've killed you." I told him straightforwardly.

"See? Kung pupunta ka bukas, isang salita lang nila sa 'yo baka mapatay mo na sila."

Napaisip ako. I never imagined socializing with others baka nga siguro mapatay ko sila.

"Just a few months! You'll just have to practice with us. You know like talking to us normally, going with us somewhere, and most especially we need to work with your anger management. I've already done this, like what you can see of me now, so

I can assure you that it will work."

Anger management? I don't have any anger management issues! I looked at him sternly.

"Oh, ayan na! Tama nga ako! Mukhang gusto mo na akong patayin!" He said defensively.

This man, he's irritating! But I thought about it for a moment. Tama naman siya, partly or just a little bit. "Fine," I said na parang may hesitations pa din ako.

"At isa pa, diba January pa ngayon? You've been with us since July or August last year. School starts in June. Siguradong bakasyon pa ngayon sa mga mag-aaral pati narin sa mga teachers. Alangan naman magsum---"

"Fine! I said, fine!" I scowled at him. He really wouldn't shut up, would he?

"What did I say about anger management?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and he did the same to me. Now, it's a battle of who- Wait! What? Why do I feel like we always had this kind of battle? It's weird. Very weird. Minabuti ko nang umiwas na lang ng tingin sa kanya.

"I said, fine," I said in the calmest voice that I could offer. "Okay. I need to do something with my 'anger management issue', if I have one," still not accepting that I have an issue about that,"but I can't promise you with the 'friendly' thing. That is just so weird of me if I would do that."

He thought for a moment and then finally said with a deep sigh, "Fine. So, let's start tomorrow. We'll see-"

"What?!" I shrieked. Tomorrow? Like what the hell?

"What 'what'? We need to start as soon as possible! Time is gold!" He got up excitedly, full of energy and went inside the house with a face of that someone who has something or plans on his mind.

I just sit here to where I'm still staring at the burning pages of the remaining notebook. I'm not sure what I'm doing is right. It's just I'm giving my trust on these people. Am I making the same mistake again?

Am I doing the right thing?

Lastly, I tossed in the fire the letter which my dad had written for me. The last words I saw before the letter was completely burned was '...be safe, dear. We love you so...'

If I need to get some solid and complete answers, then I need to be a normal teenager as possible. I need to hide my identity. I don't want anyone to get in my way in my quest for the truth.