Lonestar Awakening

How do i start this.....this story of my life? At the beginning? My earliest memory, I must have been around 5 years old, is of my father killing my mother and taking me away to a new world. A country called England, I rememeber thinking at first, this was a very busy country. Everywhere I looked there were buildings in many diffrent colours and so so many people. Father never really spoke but i remember him telling me as we walked up the steps to what i guessed was our new house, It was not a big house, two floors and a garden. but he said as he opened the doors "your safe now" i didnt really understand what that ment and honestly i still dont know in ways. Just thinking back on those days of lavish reminds me just how lucky i was. Fancy dresses, warm beds and food that made my mouth explode with flavour. This was to be my life...or so i thought. My 18th birthday was a normal day of lessons on how to be a lady eat,walk and talk atleast. Until i was interupted. one of the house hold maids i cant remmeber her name but i rememeber her curly charcoal black hair pinned back and her warm smile as she watched over me. But the face she showed me that day was not kind or happy she had tears running down her face as she passed me a letter with a black seal i could see how hard she was shaking, she tried to speak to me but i couldnt understand what she was saying id never seen a letter with a black seal before but by the way the house fell silent as she presented the letter to me i knew it was not good news i was reciving. I slowly opened the letter ready for what ever the letter held but once i read the letter i also fell silent and for a good few minutes the whole house stood still the letter read "dear Lore Manewood we write to inform you that your father Adam Manewood died in action" to this day that is the only line i can remember because that one line broke my world. The next day was a day of black, it was my fathers funiral. I cried and said words id never had to say before "goodbye".I wished nothing more than to curl up into a ball and forget this day happened but i couldnt, i could not bring myself to enter fathers carrage so i walked home. On the way an old man approched me, i think his name was Martin he said he was sorry for my loss and then broke my world further. He explained to me how in a week my fathers house would be sold to the highest bidder, and that my fathers money would go to the tax man. i asked him what would happen to me, he couldnt answer and as a tear started to build in my eye he left in a hurry. the rest of the walk home was a blur i finally made it to the steps where father said i was safe and my only thought in that moment was "liar". Once inside the house i noticed it was very quite all the maids and house hands had left to find a new job. As i stood there thinking about life after the week was over i heard a noise in the kitchen. At this point i didnt care anymore so i just walked towards the noise but as i turned the corner there was a woman with black curly hair cooking food. I let out a huge sigh of relief and she turned and smiled at me and said with a tear in her eye "welcome home". I sat down at the high table running in the kitchen she served me the sweet warm porrage she had made as i asked her what will happen to me with a tear in my eye she sat next to me and told me about the outside world where women where not given the same rights as men in this land and how i needed to find a job in 6 days. that night i said my final goodbye of the day to that maid and closed my door to the world for my last 6 days in this life, when i woke the next day i realised a few things one i had no idea how to dress, two i did not know how to cook and three i needed to find anything in this house of use before i had to leave. Gettting dressed was hard, why where dresses tied at the back where i coud not reach and why so many layers? In the end i managed to get a dress on with great difficulty, After was a harder task i was starving, As i walked down the stairs i realised i had never truly been alone till this point and i felt a little scared but i knew being scared would not fill my belly or bring me father back so i marched to the kitchen. As i began trying to make food i eventually gave up after everything turned black and tasteless so i settled for some crusty bread i found wrapped up in a ragged cloth and some milk in a blue china jug that honestly tasted good. Once i finished eating i headed to fathers study i was never allowed in this room before and as i reached for the handle i could almost hear him say "this is fathers room you must stay out, ok?" I must have stood there for 5 minutes with my hand reaching for the door handle until finally id worked up the courage to open the door i pushed hard on the handle and the door flew open knocking some papers and making them fly around the room disturbing the built up dust. Thats when i saw how long it had been since father was even home the air was full of dust shimmerng as the light hit every partical like a star in the sky, eventually i came back to my senses and started sneezing due to all the dust i walked fast to the window behind fathers desk, and opened it wide. His chair that was so big and so heavy i couldnt even move it an inch. once the dust had settled and my nose had stopped running i decided to check his desk for any money or any way to keep myself safe in my coming homelessness. As i searched his desk i found an old ledger penned by father, i opened it carefully as it looked like it would crumble if i was to rough, it was an list of things father wanted for me. as i ran my finger over the many things: dancing, reading, writing, and as i got to the end of the list i saw the word safe i couldnt help but smile and shed a tear and say "you failed this one father" i closed the ledger slowly and placed it on the desk i noticed a large envelope was also in the drawer as i lifted it out a small letter fell out of the envelope it hit the floor the name Theodosia Cassidy was wrote on the letter i was tempted to open it but through my manners lessons i couldnt bring myself to open it. Then the big enevlopes name caught my eye. It was addressed to Lore Manewood. It was addressed to me? as i ran my finger over the script it was fathers handwrting i emptied the envalope on the floor out fell a letter and also strange paper stacked with a band around it i tried to figure out whatthe paper was and i honestly hand no idea it was green with numbers on it, i decided the letter might tell me more so i put the strange paper down and opened the letter. As i opened the letter with my fathers walnut letter opener that i found on the desk, i heard a knock at the door it startled me, i placed the letter on the desk and ran to the door wondering who could be knocking. as i opened the door it was the man who broke my world Martin he came to tell me someone already bought the house and i would have to leave first thing in the morning i was in shock. I shut the door on him but he contuinused to shout if i was not gone i would be removed. He left quickly. As i sat on the floor next to the door i could feel the chill of the outside blow around my legs it was cold and sharp i felt even more lost, Once the cold had bitten my legs once to many time i remembered fathers letter to me so i picked myself up and walked back to the study. i sat on the chair in his study and picked up the letter i took a deep breath and red it. It red as " Dear Lore my precious child, if your reading this i am no lnger around to protect you, im sorry i was never a good father to you or your sister Theo. i never told you this but you are not from england i doubt you will remember but your from a far off land called amarica in the envelope you will find money from this land called dollars my hope was to one day take you back to The Land Of Oppertunity and find your sister i hope you find your own path, best wishes father". after reading this i had so many other questions but no one who could answer them, i have a sister? england isnt my home? and what is the land of oppertunity? In a daze i put the strange notes and the letter addressed to who i guessed is my sister in the large envelope along with my letter and left the study, on my walk back to my room i felt a small spark in me ignite i had somewhere i needed to go someone i needed to find but i still had no money and that was still my main issue. As i walked in a daze, i froze looking into fathers room, the door had always been open. I could see the evening light shining off a metal box under fathers bed, i had never noticed this strange box before now, i was pulled towards the strange box as i got closer i noticed it was a small metal box with no lock. Once i opened it i found something i did recognise. English pounds not many but enough to maybe buy a ticket to this amarica or so i hoped. I collected all the money, ran to my room almost dropping a pound or two on my way. As i ran into my room i threw the money and envelope on my bed and looked around my room for anything i could use to carry my items but i only owned a small bag that i carried on my back but it had to do. As i packed the small bag i realised i had never been on a trip before so i had no idea what to pack. The decision on clothes was hard but in the end they where not needed i would simply buy more when i arrived. I packed the large envelope with care, also my hair brush father made for me when i was young.I used it everyday, i held the brush tight in my hands for a moment before dropping it in the bag. I also packed the letter with the black seal im not sure why but i felt like it had to stay with me to remind me, Father is gone. Once that was done i felt a wave of tiredness roll over me and i fell asleep tightly holding my bag. The next day i was awoken by a loud bang. I had over slept, the sun had already risen high and the men had already began emptying my home. i quickly grabbed my bag and the money, ran down the stairs where i was faced with a man in very colourful clothing. apparently he was the new owner and he was very rude he said "you need to leave, your to lower class to be in my house, Begone!" as soon as he finished before i could say a word i was excorted out the door. Sharp pains ran through my body as i took each step down the stairs, i realised this was the last time i will ever see this house my......fathers house. As i took the last step i said my final goodbye and walked toward the port. Or so i thought, i had never ventured out without father, honestly i had no idea where port was as i froze on the last step wondering which way i should go, i saw a fammiliar face it was the maid who looked after me. As i called for her i rushed over, her warm smile ever present. as we exchanged greeting i decided to ask her if she knew where port was, she gave me such simple instructions, "head north to town and follow the northern road down to the sea you will see port" as i went to say thank you my stomach reminded me i hadnt ate yet and the former maid laughed and presented some bread and also cheese i was shocked she had cheese but i happily accepted both i said what i hoped would be my finaly goodbye and set off north. As i walked towards town i ate the bread and cheese the maid gave me, i knew she would be ok, that made me feel warm deep down and also i felt ready to find my new path in life. As i reached town the sun was high in the sky and there where only a few clouds, but town was very busy and even louder. Men shouting over eachother selling their goods, As i waded my way through the crowd i got bumped around alot, many times had to fight to stay on the right road so many nice smells almost pulled me away. Eventually i made it thought to the other side of town i was exhausted. a low feeling, i would never find port washed over me as i stood there hot and bothered but i had to carry on walking forward because there was nothing behind me to go back to. As i came over a hill i looked forward and there it was. The sea, it was so blue and sparkled like diamonds it was so beautiful and as i followed the coast with my eyes there it was, the port so many ships,Before i could think i was running down the hill to port. full of excitment to begin my new life. The closer i got to the port the bigger the crowd got and the more my heart sank. Eventually i got to the man who was selling tickets to amarica although he called it "The Land Of Oppertunity" when he said that name i rememebered father and smiled, The ticket cost me all the pounds i found in fathers room but i didnt mind , Afterall where i am going i wont need them. After i bought the tickets i was ushered onto a boat so big my home felt like it was a stack compaired to this, i was told it was a three day journy to amarica and all i can say about the boat was it made me very sick apparently i have something called sea sickness and i honestly thought i was going to die. Two days passes and all i did was throw up, On the third all i could do was stumble around my room, i reached for my bag and took the letter with the black seal on and held it close, Then suddenly the boat stopped moving, when i realised i put the letter back in my bag and slung it across my shoulder as i finally managed to walk to the deck the sun was blinding, as my eyes adjusted to the light i took a deep breath i was here i could almost feel it somewhere deep inside of me, i could finally breath and i let out a deep sigh only one thought was pressing in my head as i walked slowly off the boat still shakey. That thought still stays with me everyday that thought is "Im home" with a weak smile and even weaker legs i planted my feet firmly on solid ground. And that is how after living in a dream for 18 years finally arrived in The Land Of Oppertunity full of hope and excitment, but i was soon to understand just how sheltered i was, and how wrong i was to think it would be that easy...