Unspoken

"It's okay" he mouthed to me as a scream ripped out from my throat. My ears started to ring in my head as tears started to cloud my vision. I hear it, the gun clicking and before I can move the bullet flys out from it's chamber. My knees sink to the ground and the last thing I see is the bullet make impact with his forehead before my vision goes black and my body hits the floor with a loud thud.  "He's gone" I think to myself before the darkness completely takes me.  My eyes snap open and my body shoots straight up from the comfort of my plush bed. I shake my head to wake myself completely and wipe away the stray tear that must have escaped in my sleep. I look around my bedroom to gather my surroundings and ground myself. I hate when I dream of him, I wish the nightmares would end, or they would pull me into their darkness with them.  As I scan my room I see Colton sleeping in the chair in a dark corner. I wonder how long he's been there, likely all night. I pull back my thick down comforter and try to silently slide out of the bed. I slip my feet into the slippers placed carefully by my bedside and tiptoe my way to the bathroom door next to Colton, trying hard not to wake him. He needs sleep, we all do and it doesn't come easily anymore, not since... I can't continue my thought, it hurts too much and I don't want to send myself into another fit of grief.  As I make my way across my large room I hear something rustle and my head snaps up. When I look up my eyes meet Colton's, they pierce green in the darkness, they look just like his eyes. I feel a pang in my chest. He furrows his brow with concern and jumps from his chair and rushes to my side.  "Are you hurt?" He whispers as lowly as possible. I look at him and tug the corners of my mouth trying to fake a smile, I don't want to worry him anymore about me. "Did you have another nightmare?" He asks, his voice still low. I lie and shake my head no at him. He doesn't look like he believes me.  He reaches my side and slowly takes my hand in his, careful not to startle me. He looks into my eyes and I can tell he's begging me not to lie to him. I don't like lying to Colton, he's probably the best friend I have left on this earth and I know that he's hurting too.  I heave a sigh and look at him apologetically. He shakes his head and wraps me into a hug, holding me to his chest. I lean into him and let the wall holding my pain fall, tears flowing from my eyes. He rubs his hand in soothing circles on my back and grips me tightly with his other arm as if he's afraid I will fall the floor if he doesn't keep me upright.  "It's okay Addie" he coos in my ear using my childhood nickname trying to calm me. I shut my eyes tightly and try to regain control of myself. I pull my hand up to my face and wipe my tears away as I pull away from his embrace.  "I'm good now" I whisper as quietly as possible and give him a reassuring smile. His eyes still show concern but he lets me go and gives a half smile back. I point to the bathroom and he nods his head okay and retreats back to his chair as I head for the bathroom.  I open the large double doors into my bathroom, it's massive, like everything else the palace with bright marble tiles and countertops everywhere, ornate gold trimming fixtures and accessories sprinkled everywhere. Most of the palace was dark and foreboding but my suite was lavish and bright, more fitting for the "future Empress."  I splashed my face with some cool water and looked at myself in the large golden mirror. Lately I hardly recognize myself anymore. My soft orange hair still hung to my waist with a slight wave and bounce but my usually bright blue eyes had become lifeless, dark circles cupping underneath them. My usually bright skin was more dull accentuating how much skinner I had become the last few weeks. I could barely stand to eat anymore. I looked like a shell of my former self and I had. Without him I was nothing, empty.