Scarred for Love (MFM)

They say if you love something you let it go and if it comes back, it was meant to be. But what if you never had it to begin with? A lone tear escapes the corner of my eye as I watch the love of my life marry the woman of his dreams. Hell some what part of my dreams as well if we are being honest. Scarlett Delarosa, soon to be Scarlett Chamberlain. She is a Lawyer at one of the best law firms in town. She is the daughter of dad and pop's friends, Peyton and Landon. Peyton insisted she take his last name because Granoli didn't have a good track record. To this day, dad still calls Landon "Granola", not in a disrespectful way but just a light teasing way. When we asked why he always called him that, pops said he was a jelly nelly when he first met him. Our dad's have such an adorable relationship and it's awesome how the coparenting between mom and mama is...well, was since we are all adults now. Anyway, back to Scar. She is a spitting image of Peyton from the seafoam colored eyes and brown wavy hair, though her hair fell past her shoulders. Peyton had viable eggs saved before starting 'T' and when the time came for him and Landon to talk about babies, Brandi, another friend of dad and pops, was all for being the surrogate. Then she and Hayden had decided to try and have their own baby a year later. To go back on saying part of my dreams as well, is because back when they first started dating back in their first year of college, she made it known she was interested in exploring polyamory and we had a threesome. She made it possible to see the man of my dreams in all his glory and to hear those beautiful sounds as he reached climax. No swords were crossed of course, no matter how much I wished it happened. However, even though Derek trusted me to not whisk away with his beloved girlfriend, which is why he chose me in the first place for the event, he voiced he wasn't sure if he was was into doing it again. She respected it and now here they are getting married. Sometimes I wished we could've continued venturing into the world of polyamory. I mean I didn't exactly need her in the mix but I want her if it means I could have him too. I know that is probably the shittiest thing to say but when you're in love...you'd do just about anything just to have them. Don't get me wrong I love Scar and she is a gorgeous lady and definitely knows how to please a man. Or should I say men. But would I choose her over Derek? Definitely not. Would I learn to love her romantically for Derek? You bet your sweet pippy I would. Another tear escapes as Derek starts saying his lovely and beautifully scripted vows to his soon to be wife. To an outsider, I probably look like the crying for joy being the best man and all. But that couldn't be more wrong. I averted my eyes, gazing into the crowd. Uncle Jace caught my eye as he gave a sympathetic look toward me. He was the only one who knew of my infatuation with my younger brother. I'm very good at keeping it on the down low. Not that incest would be frowned upon in our family. If it was, it'd be extremely hypocritical. Ever since Derek and I were little, I had this pull to him. I couldn't understand it, not until I was a little older. I felt shameful. I sought out uncle Jace and talked to him about it since he went through a similar situation. He explained that it was alright to have feelings for him however, with the age difference, it's better to stay away until Derek was older as well. Which I 100% agreed, so when I graduated from high school, I went to college on the other side of the country to get away and maybe burn the feelings. But alas, holiday video calling during the years just reminded me how much I still felt a certain way toward him whenever he appeared on the screen. Then when I was done with college, I got an apartment and started a job back in my hometown as one of the state college's calculus professors. With Derek starting college, I was going to possibly see if he felt the same but then he told the family Scarlett and him were an item. Heartbroken. "I now pronounce you, husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride!" the officiant announced, cutting off my thoughts. The crowd cheered as Derek and Scarlett came together in a sweet and tender kiss to proclaim their new title of man and wife. I clapped along with the others and then they parted before running down the aisle giggling. "Alright, wedding party and parents! Time for photos!" Aunt Genevieve announced as the crowd started to leave their seats to head over to the reception area. She was the wedding planner. Uncle Jace wanted to help but she was even worse with organization that he just backed off and let her do her thing. Plus, it was her actual job too. The wedding party included me, obviously, Kiernan, who was maid of honor, Audrey, Rosalina, Dermot, Cameron, Clayton, Monica and Preston. Monica is Scarlett's friend from college as well as Preston is Derek's from college. Kiernan is 23, has long blond hair with bright blue eyes. Clayton is 19, has short dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. They are Brandi and Hayden's kids. Brandi and Hayden resided in Ohio after graduating NYU so it's not too far from where we live in Pennsylvania. Cameron is 20, has has shortish dark brown hair with blond streaks in it and brown eyes. Dermot is 19, has long dark brown hair and blue eyes. They are Tanner and Charlie's kids. After years of trying to adopt or foster they both decided to find surrogates through a doctor because they really wanted children and didn't want to wait any longer. Lydia and Trey are the only friends who decided not to have children, so they are the cool uncle and aunt of the group. They resided in Georgia after college graduation. Even with all that, our parents stayed close knit so all the kids grew up together. We went through all the photos that needed to be taken and my goodness my face hurt a s**t ton from smiling. Finally, it was reception time. I need to find a drink. I wondered over to the open bar and grabbed a double shot of whiskey. I shot it down quickly and grimaced from the burn. I tapped the counter and the bartender eyed me warily but proceeded to fill another glass. "You know Declan, drinking your problems away doesn't make them actually go away" Uncle Jace's voice comes from beside me. "That's not what I'm doing" I sigh and straighten up, turning toward him. He chuffs out a laugh and clasps a hand on my shoulder. "Sure you're not. If you need to talk, I'm always here for you" he gently says. "I know what it's like to keep a big secret like that" he ordered a Tequila sunrise. "I know" I sighed. While growing up, our uncles would refrain from showing much affection but as we got older, I noticed the slight touches and became curious to ask about it. Eventually, our family talked to us about what was going on and that was our new normal. "You'd think by 28 years old, I'd get over it" I muttered, eyes scanning the tables of family and friends laughing and enjoying refreshments before the food was served. "Ah, that's not how the heart works buddy. But, he is married now..." he trailed off. "Yeah, yeah I'm not a homewrecker" I waved my hand in dismissal before downing my second drink. The bartender came back with Jace's drink. "What are you gonna do now?" He questioned while swirling the straw in his drink. "Move on?" I shrugged. "Kinda the only thing I can do". Not like I haven't tried before, I've slept with many women and men. Wow, that makes me sound like a little ho-ho. Though, I've never let anyone top me. Call me crazy, but I felt like I needed to save it for Derek. He would be the only one I'd ever let top me. Oh, how I long to feel his big strong body taking anything and everything he wanted from me. Whoa, calm down Declan, don't need to pop a b***r right now. I noticed dad and pops rise from the table, where they were conversating with grandma and grandpa Castlerock. They started to make their way over to Jace and I. "Hey Mattsy!" Jace greeted dad with a big hug "And can't forget my broski" he stepped away from dad and opened his arms for pops. "We were just sitting by each other during the ceremony" pops rolls his eyes but hugs Jace anyway. "Speaking of ceremony, aren't you supposed to be with the rest of the wedding party getting ready?" Dad directed at me. I kissed my teeth. We are supposed to line up outside the reception hall and when the DJ starts a song, each "couple" of the wedding party is supposed to dance in, getting the crowd ready for the big entrance of the newlyweds. "Yeahhh I wasn't feeling it" Dad gave me a deadpan stare. "This is your brother's big day bubs, go make the grand entrance with Kiernan" he gave a shooing motion with his hands. I gave Jace a pleading look. He just held his hands up in surrender. I groaned "Fine, but I need another shot" turning to get the bartenders attention. "Ah, ah, ah" pops wiggled his pointer finger at me " We saw you have two double shots, you aren't overly drinking" he said in an authoritive tone. "I am an adult, you know" "You're still our child, you know" they both mocked me and I scowled. "Love you" dad singsonged "I love you too" I rolled my eyes and started to walk away. "Kids" I heard pops tisk as I opened the hallway door to the others practicing what dance they were going to do. Luckily, the liquor has loosened me up a little. I'm not much of a dancer but Kiernan told me to follow her lead as we got ready to make our entrance. After the groomsmen and bridesmaids had made their entrance, it was mine and Kiernan's turn. We sashayed out in a sensual dance and I twirled her out and back into my arms then dipped her down before we scurried from the door for the bride and groom to appear. They waltz in bumping and grinding against each other. Totally different type of dance than what we did. Scarlett was changed into a sparkly Ivory cocktail dress and Derek ditched his suit jacket and had it slung over his shoulder. I couldn't help but admire his ass and the way he thrust his hips. A flash of heat ran through my body, remembering his muscles flexing as he f****d Scar while she sucked my c**k. I let out a quiet groan. Though, not quiet enough because Kiernan quirked an eyebrow at me. I cleared my throat and averted my gaze to their finishing dance moves. Nice, real subtle Declan. We all clapped when they finished before we made our way to the head table for dinner to be served. Obviously the bride and groom were in the middle then I was seated next to Derek. His signature Versace Eros cologne and his sweat wafted into my nose as we sat down. I inhaled, embedding his delicious scent to my memory. f**k, he's always smelled so delicious. As dinner was being served, Derek and Scarlett were in their own little happy world, whispering and giggling. Beside me sat Cameron then Dermot and Clayton. "When can we get out of these monkey suits?" Clay grumbled while fiddling with his collar. "Just until after dinner" I reassured "Dancing will be right after, I promise" "Good, I can't wait to dance" Dermot did a funky move in his seat making the three of us laugh. Just then, the waiters set the food we picked out in front of us and we began to eat. Clinking of forks and knives against the champagne glasses erupted throughout the room. Derek and Scar giggled while they stood. He grabbed her thigh, hiked it over his hip and initiated a dramatic kiss for the awaiting audience, earning wolf whistles and cat calls.I just gave a small smirk and clapped. I am, for the most part, used to their PDA but it still stings the heart to see the one you love with someone else. After eating the dinner, the newlyweds cut their cake and desserts came out to the rest of us. We were told to start speeches and luckily Kiernan went first. I still needed to run through what I was going to say. Kiernan's speech was about growing up with our group of, well family. I'd say friends but we are all family in reality with how close we are. She went on about being absolute besties with Scarlett and how honored she was about being asked to be her maid of honor. Then it was my turn. I stood up and cleared my throat. "Well isn't that a tough act to follow" I sent a playful wink Kiernan's way. "Wow, I don't know what to start with" I said while my gaze flicked over the smiling couple staring at me. "Im not very good with speeches but here we go haha....These two, from the beginning, I knew they were destined to be together" it wasn't a lie, they were two peas in a pod "It may have took until freshman year of college for them to realize it" I joked, earning chuckles from the crowd and the couple. "But they were magnets to each other, always hanging out together. Some of the time, she stole my gaming and football buddy away" a lump formed in my throat and I cleared it before continuing "But that was alright, I had these goons to occupy me as well" I smiled and jerked my thumb in the direction of the three guys to my side. "I'm so happy my baby brother found the perfect girl" I said as I felt my eyes burning "You make him so happy, Scar and that's the best thing I could've ever asked for, for him" "I love you both so much" More than you'd ever know, Derek. I ended with my voice strained. Scar started crying and hopped up, flinging her arms around me. "Oh, Declan, that was a short but lovely speech. Thank you, we love you too!" she said and kissed my cheek. Derek also stood and when Scarlett stepped back, he came in wrapping me in a tight warm hug. "Thanks bro" he softly said next to my ear. I suppressed a shiver, as his breath tickled the sensitive skin of my neck. To my disappointment, he pulled away all too soon to sit down again. Desserts were finished and our tables were cleared before the DJ announced the bride and groom's first dance. Derek swept Scar on to the dance floor as 'Speechless' by Dan + Shay started to play. Everyone gathered around the dance floor, admiring the newlyweds as the smoke machine emitted a thick layer at their feet as they swayed beautifully together. Derek stared at her like she was the only person in the world. I couldn't help the feeling of jealousy overcoming my body. Gosh, I love him so much it hurts. I want him to look at me like that. With everyone paying attention to the dance, I stepped back and left the reception hall venturing into the men's room. I let out a big sigh, turning the cold water on and splashing my face. "Get it together Declan" I muttered while staring at myself in the mirror. A minute later, the bathroom door slammed open. Uncle Damon and Dakota came in a flurry, making out like horny teenagers. "I need you Damon" Dakota moaned desperately and I scrunched my face. "f*****g ew!" I said loudly. They startled and jumped apart, breathing heavily. "Oh, hey Deck" Damon nodded at me. "What are you doing in here?" "I could ask the same thing" I snorted. "We were going to f**k" Dakota said ever so bluntly, Damon smacked his arm. "I did not need to know that" I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. With a shake of my head, I walked between them. "Have fun" I said over my shoulder, leaving the restroom. "Will do!" Dakota chimed with a giggle. I rolled my eyes with a small smile, horny bastards. But I love em. I walked back out to the party and saw everyone dancing on the the dance floor now. For a few songs, the music was lively and uplifting but then the dollar dances started for the bride and groom and I guess I was the first in line for dancing with Scarlett. My twin, Audrey, was the first to dance with Derek. "Hey handsome" she purred as we started to dance. "Hey Scar" I chuckled, I could tell she was a little tipsy from all the champagne. "What did you think of today?" She asked as we swayed side to side. "It was absolutely beautiful, are you enjoying it?" I asked, knowing alot of the time that the bride and groom barely even remember the day because it's busy, busy, busy. "I definitely am" she grinned widely. "You know....I'm gonna try and talk to DJ again about another go, if you know what I mean" she whispered while dancing her fingers up my chest. Everyone calls Derek, DJ, ever since he was little because of his middle name being James. Except me, I call him by his name. I used to call him 'Dare' when we were closer but ever since Scar and him became attached at the hip...it's just been Derek. Petty, I know. Bite me. "Whoa, what?" I asked taken back, my eyes scanned our surroundings. Doesn't look like anyone is listening. "I'm tired of just having another woman in the mix" she stated with a pout "I want to have another man again....and you're the only guy he trusts. Would you want to do that again?" She asked me. "I-I....I don't even know what to say to that Scar" I sputtered out. "I've been talking to him about it but he wanted to get the wedding out of the way before discussing more of the possibility of it happening" she waved her hand dismissively. " But I don't quite understand why he's so hesitant since he's been okay with having other women like Kiernan join in" she finished. "Kiernan?!" I asked surprised and honestly a little hurt. Not only about Kiernan but other women. I thought he was uncomfortable about a third party in general. Maybe he was just uncomfortable with me. Sadness dawned at me at that. "Yeah, it was one time. We went to a club, got drunk and got a little carried away. No biggie. But seriously, it would be nice to have you join again. Your mouth, especially with your tongue ring, is something else" she groaned, making me chuckle awkwardly. Trust me, she loves my brother to death, almost as much as I do if the heart eyes everytime they stare at each other mean anything. "Ahhh well, I don't know Scar" I quietly said. "He said he wasn't comfortable with it after the first time" "It was just new. He was probably intimidated with having another d**k involved" she tried to reason with a light chuckle "Just...If he's on board, are you?" She asked, biting her lip. "Uhhhh..." I didn't know what to say. The song ended, meaning a new dance partner was up. "Don't worry about it now...I'll get the for sure, then I'll ask again" she lightly squeezed my biceps. "Sure, sure" I shook my head, mostly in disbelief that I'm considering it "If he's down, I'm down" I nodded and she gave me a smile. She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. "Awesome, I'll keep you updated" she winked before Uncle Sebastian whisked her away in a dance. Was it stupid to agree? Yes. Will it hurt me even more? Most likely. Am I going to regret the potential chance of seeing him naked again? Never.