The Ring of Fire & Serpents

Chapter Twenty - The Five Stages of Grief - Stage Two - Anger

LAURA

THREE MONTHS LATER…

Beep…Beep…Beep…I opened my eyes to the sound of my alarm and turned my head to look at the time flashing on the clock above the nightstand. It’s 6:00 am…just another day…another day without my baby, my girl, my Sophia. Oh my God! The pain…the shooting pain that pulsates through my body the moment I realize this nightmare that I’ve been living for the past three months is a reality. The worst part is not knowing if my daughter is dead or alive. I am trying to convince myself every day that she is still alive, and I continue to hold out hope, praying for a miracle, but every day that passes is less of a chance that she still is.

I reach up and rub my eyes before focusing on the pill bottle next to my bed. The label reads…traZodone hydrochloride 100 mg. I’ve never been the type of person who needed help to sleep. I’ve always been the one to fall asleep very quickly before this happened. Now, I just toss and turn, worrying myself into a tizzy every night that she’s gone. Frank referred me to his doctor so I could get the help I needed. I don’t know what I would do without that man. He’s been my rock throughout all of this. I’ve called him many nights feeling as though I can’t make it through another day, and he’s been there for me through it all without judgment.

I reach my arms up over my head to stretch and stumble out of bed, walking towards the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror. I barely recognized that person staring back at me. My eyes are tired, lifeless even. I turn the faucet on and splash icy cold water onto my face, trying to perk myself up. I can hear the shower running down the hall, so I know Savannah is already up. I guess I’d better make some coffee. We will need something to get us motivated to face the day. I quickly throw on my robe and proceed toward the kitchen.

While walking down the hall, I stopped at Sophia’s door- it was closed. I haven’t been able to open that door since she’s been gone. The “No Boys Allowed” sign still hangs on the door. I guess I’m just afraid I would fall apart if I walked in there. I can’t bear the thought; it’s just too painful. So, I slowly continued down the hall to the kitchen.

After preparing the coffee, I plop down at the kitchen table and glance over at the notepad that I left there the night prior. It reads:

Tuesday, October 14th –

Charlie left the house alone at 5:56 p in his red Ford pickup.

Drove through the bank’s ATM at 6:04 p.

Arrived at Tito’s Bar at 6:11 p.

Left Tito’s Bar at 9:48 p.

Arrived at the Catalina Trailer Park at Trailer No 112 at 10:01 p.

Leaves Trailer Park at 10:46 p.

Arrives home at 11:04 p.

James consistently warns me not to follow Charlie, but I can’t help myself. I have documented his every move since it all started. I’m going to catch that son of a b***h if it’s the last thing I do.

My thoughts are interrupted as Savannah strolls into the kitchen, “Mornin Momma.” She whispers as she walks towards the refrigerator. Poor kid, she looks so tired. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy. She is wearing her hair pulled up in a ponytail with no makeup and a loose-fitting t-shirt, and mismatched leggings, which is out of character for her. I clear my throat, “Mornin. I didn’t get a chance to go to the market for food yesterday.” I told her.

She shrugs as she pours herself a bowl of cereal, “It’s okay. I’m not that hungry, so I’ll just eat lightly.” She responds, her voice monotone.

“There’s coffee if you want some,” I offered.

She shakes her head, “Nah, that’s okay, it makes me too jittery.”

She pours milk into the bowl, grabs a spoon, and sits down at the table in front of me, eying me curiously. I closed the notepad and got up to pour myself a cup of coffee.

“Momma, what is that notepad for?” She asks before stuffing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

I began sipping my coffee with my back to her, “It’s just…my notes.” I responded.

She remains quiet for a few seconds, “Notes? For?” she asks.

I turned around and sat back down, pulling the notebook closer to me on the table, “My notes about potential suspects.” I replied.

She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms in front of her. I can tell she is upset, “Momma, I thought the detective told you to stop this nonsense of following people around?” she asks.

Rage consumes every inch of me, and I reach out and slam my hand on the kitchen table, startling her, “Don’t you dare go there with me! My daughter is missing, and I will do whatever it takes to find her. Do you think for one second that I would ever stop looking for you if you went missing?”

Tears well in her eyes, she gazes up to the ceiling, “I don’t know, probably! I know you think this is all my fault! I know you would rather have Sophia here than me!” She yells out.

I threw my hands in the air exasperatingly, “Why on God’s green earth do you think that?!”

She reaches up and wipes the tears rolling down her cheek, “I can see it in your eyes, Momma. You blame me for this whole thing.”

“Well, you know…if you had listened to anything I said initially, you wouldn’t have let your sister leave the party when she was sick, so you could stay out longer with a boy who hasn’t given you the time of day since. I mean, common sense would say, hmmm…maybe I should take her home because she’s not feeling good. It didn’t seem to be worth it in the end, did it?” I responded in a snarky tone.

Savannah begins wailing, tears rushing down her face, “See…I knew it.”

I snorted, “Just stop, go to school already. Get out of my face. I’m not dealing with this nonsense today.” I responded in an irritated tone.

She quietly gets up and throws the contents of her nearly untouched cereal down the disposal, “Momma, you are not the same! I don’t even know this person that you have become.”

I rolled my eyes, “Just suck it up and deal with it or do something to help find her.” I belt out.

Then, the look on her face nearly shattered me, and I immediately regretted saying what I said. I know she is just as profoundly wounded by Sophia’s disappearance as I am, but I’ve just been so mad at the world lately that I could scream.

She grabs her backpack with my keys from the hook and storms out of the house before jumping in her car and pulling out of the driveway like a bat out of hell.

I continue to sip my coffee, replaying everything that has transpired over the past couple of months since Sophia went missing. God, I’m so angry right now! What did I do to deserve this? Why did this have to happen to us? Haven’t we been through enough? I’m so sick of feeling this constant pain radiating through my body. Just then, another burst of rage causes me to jump up and storm down the hallway toward my bedroom, so I get myself ready for work.

As it nears 8:00 am, I pull my laptop and work phone out and place them on the kitchen table. I open my laptop and quickly scan through my work emails before getting started. Thank God Frank allows me to work from home. He also purchased a company vehicle for me to get around town in. He assures me that it’s just cheap advertising, but I’m not sure if that’s the case or if he just feels sorry for me. I can’t deny the fact that it has helped me tremendously since Savannah’s car hasn't been found.

Before I began my workday, I decided to call James quickly to find out if he'd heard anything new and to casually fill him in on what I witnessed with Charlie last night. I reached out for my cell phone and dialed his number, anxiously waiting for him to pick up, “Good Morning, Ellisville Police Department, Detective Caddel speaking….”

“Good Morning, Detective, it’s me. Any updates on Sophia?” I asked.

He exhales, “Laura… yeah, sorry. I have nothing to update you on.” He responds.

I cleared my throat, “Well, I might have a bit of information for you.” I blurt out.

He remains silent on the other end for a few seconds before responding, “And what might that be?” he asks reluctantly.

“Yesterday, Charlie went to a trailer in Catalina for like forty-five minutes,” I told him.

He scoffs, “For Pete’s sake, Laura, please stop following that man! I told you he had been cleared of anything. His alibi checks out. You know you could get into serious trouble for stalking him!”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking; I’m just investigating,” I responded innocently.

“Why don’t you leave the investigation up to me? That is my job, after all.” He asks in a snarky tone.

“Well…I would if you actually investigated!” I replied defensively.

Nothing but awkward silence on the other end for a few seconds. He snickers, “I’ll stop by and get the scoop on this “Information” you have. Now, if I do this, you must promise me that you will stop following him immediately. I know it’s difficult for you, and I know you just want to find your daughter, but you have to let me do my job, please.” He responds.

“Well…I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

“I will be there in a few minutes.” His tone is slightly deeper as he replies.

I hang up and anxiously pace the floors while waiting for him to show up. I just know that there’s something that he’s missing about Charlie. I have to trust my gut instinct on this one.

Fifteen minutes went by, and I peeked out the window to find James pulling into the driveway. He steps out of the police vehicle and makes his way to the door. Without hesitation, I immediately swung open the door. His eyebrow half-c****d, “Okay, Laura, okay. I’m here.”

I motioned him inside, “Come in, hurry. I have to start work at 9:00a.” I told him as I pulled him inside.

I shut the door behind him as he entered. He scanned the room while pulling the little notebook and pen out of his pocket, “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Well, Charlie went to a trailer in Catalina last night after he left Tito’s. It was Trailer no 112. He was there for like forty-five minutes, like I said on the phone. I’ve never seen him go there before. Could you please check that out?” I asked.

He nods his head, “Sure thing. What else have you got for me?” he asks.

I shrug, “Nothing….”

He glares at me for a few seconds, “This is all you have on him? He stopped there for forty-five minutes, and you think that is suspicious behavior?”

I crossed my arms in front of me, “Yes! I do!”

He stuffs his notebook and pen into his shirt pocket, “Fine! Are you going to stay out of it and let me do my job?” he asks.

“That depends.”

“Depends on what? If it leads to something?” He asks curiously.

I nod, “Yep.”

He shakes his head, “Laura, you are wearing me slick.”

My cheeks begin to flush, and I clench my teeth, “What the hell else am I supposed to do, huh? I can’t just sit back while my daughter is still missing out there! I am not that type of person!” I belted out in a high-pitched yell.

He leans back against the wall in the hallway, pinching the bridge of his nose, inhaling in and out at a slow and steady pace as I anxiously await his response, “Laura, please. Don’t do anything stupid, I’m begging you. I know you mean well, but you need to stop.” He responds softly.

Tears began to well in my eyes, and I nodded submissively at his request, keeping my head down to avoid his gaze.

“I will investigate this, but if you aren’t careful, you are going to poke the bear, which is Charlie Vance. I’m telling you right now you don’t want to go that route.” He responds.

I snub my nose at him, “What makes you think I care? That man does not scare me!” I responded.

He glares at me before pointing his finger at me, “Don’t!” He replies sternly before turning to exit through the front door.

As soon as he leaves, my work phone rings loudly, so I reach up and wipe the tears from my eyes before returning to the kitchen to get started on my work.