Not Another Broken Doll

Chapter 19

Ruth dragged Chris with her for a couple of streets to a pizza place that she usually visited with Marco. He swore that was the best pizza in the whole of Hamburg, and she wasn’t going to argue with the expert.

“Alright, pizza. I like it” Chris said, once they stopped.

“Of course. Everybody likes pizza” She said. They went in and they sat down at a table by the wall governed by a painting of Tuscany. Ruth’s mind was racing. She had felt something click in her soul over the past few days. “So, as I was saying before Marie arrived,” she continued as she looked at the menu “I don’t have any plans to run away for the next few months, so we can make up for the missed lunches whenever you like. A deal is a deal.”

Chris had not forgotten that they were only one day away from the Hafen Festival. He truly enjoyed spending time with Ruth but he was no fool, he knew that could not be forever. He frowned slightly, but not enough for Ruth not to notice. He was in absolute disagreement with stopping seeing her. Quite on the contrary, he wanted to keep this going. He thought she might have read his mind, as Ruth sat up straight.

“So, what are you going to order?” She asked. “I think I want this one with goat’s cheese.”

“I thought you didn’t do dairy?” Chris asked.

“Well, you can’t have pizza with no cheese. Also, I always say I am not a calf, but I never said anything about not being a kid” she joked. Chris seemed distracted for a second. Ruth pretended to ignore this and carried on looking at the menu.

“Very well then” he said, decisively. “We need to talk. For real now” Ruth put the menu down and she gave him her full attention “I need to know. What is happening here, between you and me?”

Ruth sighed. “I don’t know” she admitted. “But whatever it is, it feels good making new friends.”

That word hit Chris right in his core. “I agree. It’s always good making new friends” He picked up the menu again and took a long, hard look at the drinks section. Ruth took the menu off his hand.

“I don’t want to hurt you” she said. Staring at him with all the honesty she could possibly muster into her eyes. “I’m not a easy person to be around emotionally, and that is through no fault of yours. I’ve been hurt in many ways in the last few years, so I don’t really know how to do any of this anymore, or even if this is what I want right now. All I want is to have lunch with you and spend some more time together. Only if you agree, of course. I don’t want to give you false hopes and lead you into something that is only going to hurt you.” She paused as he held her gaze on his eyes. She felt something inside of her scream and kick from within. “You can still take Matthias to the concert tomorrow if you don’t want me there.”

Chris looked at her all the time she spoke. There had been a change to her during the last week and it was very clear to him that she was done with whatever was holding her back before. He took a second to answer. He was certain that this, what he had just heard, was what she considered to be true above everything else.

“I appreciate the honesty” he said, and he took a deep breath before he carried on “I don’t exactly know what’s happened to you while you were away, but you’ve changed. And I like this new you. So, since you have changed it is only fair that I ask you again. Frau Spain, do you want to hang out some more today and go to a concert with me tomorrow?” He saw her smile, a kind of smile he hadn’t seen before. She nodded, and his heart felt a little more at ease.