Not Another Broken Doll

Chapter 20

Ingrid had left for Hafen city in the early afternoon as she had business to tend to there. She had artists to organise and sound tests to supervise. Ruth caught up with all her emails in the hours building up to the concert. Lluc had been in touch approving of her open letter to the media, but Martí thought they shouldn’t send it through yet. He wanted her to have another go to write another one closer to the date of the second hearing, as it was still a long time away.

Outside, the autumn wind shook the branches and made some leaves fall to the ground. She watched a robin peck at the neighbour’s bird feeder and fly away. She rejoiced in the simplicity of the moment. She thought back, reviewing her anger and her sadness and all the hours of therapy she had been through. Nothing seemed simple to her anymore, at least not until she talked to Alaistar on the rooftop of the hotel.

Ever since she could remember Alaistar had been a part of her life to a certain extent. When her mum was around, they would often work cases together. They had been friends from school, and whilst Alaistar decided to join the police, her mum Ute, decided to change the world by becoming a human rights lawyer. When she married her father and they settled down in Barcelona, Alaistar continued to be in touch but not as often as before. At least that is what everyone said. Ingrid was little when her parents got married, but she remembered how Alaistar had only been in the reception for a brief time. When Ruth asked him, he always said he was working a case. She wondered how different things would have been if her mum had never agreed to marry her father. When she passed, she ended up being brought up by her paternal grandparents, as her father had disappeared for five years before showing up one Sunday morning, too little too late to have any claims over his already adult daughter. Alaistar, however, was always on the other side of the phone, and visited on holidays whenever he could.

Alaistar had returned to work right away after they flew back from Barcelona. Ruth never knew where he was, but he was always around. She felt that he was the closest connection she had to her mother and she felt encouraged when he said she reminded him of her. Nobody had ever said that to her before. What would Ute say if she knew what her daughter had been through? What she was fighting for? Ruth looked at her mother’s picture on the corkboard and all she could remember was that she had always told her that there was too much in the world that was wrong to choose do nothing about it.

Hannah arrived to help her get ready for her night at the concert. She had her hair up in a complicated braid, and she looked like she was going to give a performance herself. She kind of was, Ruth thought, after hearing that Marco was taking Haruki with them after Hannah found some last minute tickets online.

“Ruth, gal, you really need some help here” Hannah said as she saw the situation of her friend’s outfit.

“What? I am going to a concert, I’m not going to a club with walls and a roof to stay sheltered from the wind, you know? I’m literally going to be standing on the pier. And also, I am Barcelonan, I do not do cold” Ruth tried to justify her choice of black jeans, black velvet top and faux leather jacket.

“And you are going to be there with a hot guy to keep you sheltered, so stop playing around and get your act together” Hannah said looking at her as if she was daft.

“About that…” Ruth said. “I think I’ve friend-zoned him.”

“Are you out of your mind?!” Hannah climbed onto Ruth’s bed making her bounce on the spot “He missed you the two days that you were away. He really did. I heard Matthias argue with him because he didn’t agree on taking anyone on, and that had his head somewhere else that was not the shop.”

“Really?” Ruth asked. Now the tension she witnessed the day before made sense. “I still told him it was nice making new friends.”

Hannah rolled on her back and covered her face with her hands. “Okay, I am not a whiz on the topic, as you know very well, I have a problem choosing men, but Ruth” she said “why do you do this to yourself?”

“Why, what?” Ruth was truly confused “It’s not like I am actively looking for a relationship.”

“As if that even was a thing, girl” Hannah said, and sighed in frustration. “OK, let’s get you fixed up and you sort this mess out. It’s about time you open up to someone new, and he is certainly into you, you slowpoke” Hannah said as she gathered a couple combs and Ruth’s makeup box. “And don’t tell me you are not ready. The other bastard is behind bars and he’s staying put for a while, isn’t he?”

Hannah had been one of the few people who had been there with her every step of the way. And she hadn’t listened when she warned her about Gerard’s bad vibes when they first met. She knew that Hannah had a perfectly working man compass built in, even if she was rubbish at reading it when it came to herself.

“What if I hurt him?” Ruth asked in a low voice.

“What if I get smashed by a meteorite?” Hannah asked. Ruth was confused and looked at her friend through the mirror. “You can’t control everything, can you?”

“How is the Marco thing going?” she asked, trying to change topics.

“He will get bored soon or she will get bored soon, and there I’ll be again to pick up the pieces.” Hannah sighed.

“Why does he always get the best of you?” Ruth asked “He can be a waste of space around you.”

Hannah didn’t answer. They had talked enough about Marco over the past year. He was not looking for anything stable and Hannah did not want to be used like a tissue and then tossed in the bin. But this time Marco seemed to be trying to keep Haruki interested. That is what hurt Hannah the most. Still, they stopped talking about boys and Ruth let Hannah work her magic.