The Rock Bottom Diaries

By Penny Fryman  CHAPTER ONE Alice dropped her head and cried as the waitress poured the next cup of coffee. She had been through hell over the last week and a half. She didn’t know what she was going to do or who to turn to. God had always been her rock in time of trouble but now it just seemed as if even God had his back turned on her. It seemed she had prayed and cried out—even gotten angry a few times—but with even God turning his back on her and she just didn’t know any other way out other than the suicide that she was contemplating. As she sat there thinking of just ending it all and getting out of all the pain, her mind wandered into the past. A past that she wished she could go back and retrieve but of course life didn’t work that way. Once the mistakes were made they were done and there was not anything anyone could do to change the past. How she wished she could by some magical means go back and change what she had done wrong! If only she could she would have done things so different and she would not be in the place she was in now. Alice and Sam had divorced a long time ago. It was her own fault, she knew, but what should she have done! The love had died a long time ago as well as the marriage if indeed; there had ever been any real love. She and Sam had married before she even had fi nished high school. As a lot of teenagers did in that era of time she and Sam had s*x without being married. Soon she found out she was pregnant and marriage to him was her only way out. If the baby had not been on the way—the marriage would have never been. As it turned out, Sam was the best provider you could imagine. He worked hard at getting money to make sure his wife and kid always had food on the table and a roof over their head. They had never had much money but they also never did without. It just all went unappreciated by her. She had never wanted the marriage but things had a way of working out that are sometimes unforeseen. If she had known then what she would go through now—things would have been done so differently. She would have never done the things she had done or acted in the manner that she had. As time went on, Alice gave Sam four more children. Oh life was hard and for her—very unhappy. Her teenage years had been fi lled with disobedience not only to her parents but to God. She knew what was right and wrong and what her behavior should have been. She should have been a witness and a light that would shine for her God. Instead, her teenager years—from 13, yes 13, until her marriage had been fi lled with promiscuous s*x, drugs and alcohol. She had acted like anything but the Christian she was supposed to have been. She had the church fooled though. She went to church every time the doors were open, sang in the church and played the piano in the church, even taught Sunday school. Once she was out the church doors though, Satan took a hold again and she had the fun that she thought life was all about. She wasn’t thinking that even though the church was fooled that God still knew every little deed and sin that she was doing and that punishment would eventually come. She didn’t even raise the kids the way God had intended for them to be raised. She realized now that she was nearing on 50 and without anything to her name, just what she should have done in her life, but now was too late. She couldn’t go back and do things over. She had made a mess of not only her life but the lives of her ex husband and those fi ve wonderful kids that God had gave her. Her mind kept wandering back to when her children were young and she could have spent so much more time with them than she did. She wanted to be a good mother, she really did. Somehow life kept getting in the way, her life, not theirs. She should have given so much more of herself than what she did. As the children got older, she spent more and more time away. Her oldest daughter became the mother fi gure in the lives of the younger children. Sarah—poor little Sarah—she had done the best she could with them. Sarah had not had the privilege to just be a child or a teenager. She went into motherhood—mothering the younger children—when she had been just 12. How could Alice have been so self satisfying that she could have ignored the way her babies were crying out for her love and time? “Ma’am can I refresh your coffee for you”? The waitress jolted Alice back to reality. “No, I’m fi ne for now, thank you though”. Alice replied with her eyes once again welling with unshed tears. “Are you okay? Is there anything you would like to talk about? You know a burden shared is a burden halved”. The waitress gently asked her. Alice looked at her name tag, Megan that was her name. Something in the voice of the waitress made Alice want to talk to her. Megan was a cute little thing that reminded Alice of her youngest daughter. She was a petite brunette of about 20 years. She had the prettiest blue eyes that Alice had ever seen. A cute little mouth that matched the facial features of cheek bones and nose perfectly. The best part of Megan was the personality. Yes this waitress was a phenomenon, not only was she beautiful outside, but it seemed the inside matched the outer beauty. “Thank you Megan but I am sure you don’t have time to spare for such the likes of someone like me. Surely you wouldn’t want to hear the problems of my life!” “Sure I would, give me fi ve minutes and then I will be on break and we can chat, okay”. “I think I would like to talk with you. I need to talk about it. Thank you Megan for wanting to listen.” “That’s not a problem. Maybe I will be able to help.” For the fi rst time in a long while Alice smiled through her tear stricken eyes. As Megan walked away, Alice remember how at the bar she used to go to everyone told their problems to the bartender, Sally and she always would listen and try to give advice. This wasn’t the bar though this was Sanders Family Restaurant. “Ma’am I am on my break now. Do you mind if I sit down with you and we can have a little talk. Rather you talk and I’ll listen.” “Thank you.” Alice sat silently for a moment, then “it’s so strange, I don’t have a clue were to start!” She tried to laugh a little through all the pain. “How about starting at what is bothering you now at this minute then we can go back and see where the problem started and see if we can fi nd a solution, okay.” “I have lost everything I have and it’s my own fault.” “What do you mean exactly? You really mean everything— your home, your family, everything?” “Yes, I mean everything!” “Maybe we should start at how all this happened.” Megan said—it seemed—with wisdom beyond her years. “It’s been working up to this for many years now. I have tried to do everything I know how. I have always worked and I even raised my kids their last teenage years, alone. I got sick and now every time I get a job, something will happen with my health that will make me lose it. They won’t give me disability so I lost everything.” “Have you tried to get help anywhere? You know there are plenty of agencies out there to help people that are in your predicament.” “I have talked to churches, social services—I have tried everything. I don’t know what to do anymore.” “Have you prayed?” It was a quickly asked question that startled Alice. “Yes, I have prayed. I didn’t think many people ever prayed anymore about their problems. That, I thought, was something only the older generation done. Besides God doesn’t listen to me, I have been way too terrible in my lifetime for him to listen.” “I know you might feel that way but God has a purpose in everyone’s life and he always listens—no matter how terrible you have been. He just might not answer the way that you want him to or when you expect him to. God works in his time and not ours. I know it might seem too late but it is never too late for him to answer. You just have to be in his obedience.” “Honey, right now you aren’t telling me anything that I haven’t heard all of my life. I know that sometimes you have to reach rock bottom before you get lifted up but I have been in rock bottom for the last fi ve years.” “Maybe God is trying to get you to do something and you aren’t listening.” Megan replied. Alice kind of laughed with a tear welling up. “What could I do for God? I don’t have a car, I don’t have a home, and I have nothing and no way to do anything for him. I don’t even have money for a bus to take me anywhere. So I ask you again, what could I do?” “Listen honey, I have to get back on the fl oor now my break is over. If you want to hang out here until I get off, I will see you get a hot meal and I want to talk with you some more.” “Well I have nowhere else to go so I guess I can. Don’t worry about the meal though, I have no money to pay for it and I wouldn’t want you to buy it. I will be okay besides I need to lose a few pounds.” Megan just c****d an eyebrow at her and went back to work. About fi fteen minutes later, Alice had roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans and a roll sitting in front of her. She was so hungry and here was food. She cried and took the fi rst bite. It was so delicious. Alice fi nished everything and even sopped up the beef gravy with her roll for that last bite. The food fi lled her belly but what was going to fi ll her heart. This broken heart with a spirit that was no longer vibrant and a fi ghter was now one that had been defeated in this battle of life. While she was sitting waiting for Megan to get off, Alice’s thoughts returned to her life. Looking back she had realized that if she had just given Sam a decent chance then the love might have come. He had been a good man. He never fooled around with other women, he never drank or did drugs, he worked all the time and he did love her there was no doubt. She just wasn’t in love with him and never had been. If she hadn’t been in love with him, then why did she have s*x with him? What a tangled web we weave when at fi rst we practice to deceive. She thought of the old saying that her mother had always said. Her mother, oh God, how she wished she had her mother now! Mom had passed away just a few months ago and her father had passed away going on 12 years before. Alice hadn’t realized until they both were gone just how much they had actually meant in her life. Her dad had worked hard to raise his kids. He wielded the strong arm of discipline when the kids needed it but gave them all the love and strength they needed in times of trouble. Mom had been the Bible warrior in the home. Every day she would talk and try to teach all the kids about the love of Jesus and what he had done by giving his life for us on Calvary. Alice had listened, even got baptized but turned her back on God to enjoy what Satan had to offer but look where it had gotten her. When she had gotten pregnant at 16 her parents were so embarrassed. They felt that people would look at them like they had not raised their kids’ right. Alice knew this wasn’t the case because mom and dad had raised them right she was the only one who wanted the world. This was why she was forced, not by her parents’ hand, but rather a rare form of guilt, into what for her was an undesirable marriage to Sam. She refl ected again on the marriage. She had stayed in it for 17 years, why did she fi nally just give up on it? Instead of sticking it out, she met someone else and started having an affair. Sam found out about it through the oldest daughter telling him. Alice couldn’t blame Sarah—she had done the right thing. Poor child she was so tired of being a mother to her younger siblings. Alice also had wanted a way out and with Sarah telling that meant she didn’t have to tell—she just had to admit to it. And she did admit to it. She also had told Sam that she had never loved him and wanted out of the marriage. His heart was torn to pieces so now she was not getting anything that she didn’t deserve. She remembered the day that Sarah had told Sam about the affair. Sam fell down on his knees and cried not understanding how his wife could do this to him after all the years of sacrifi ce he had given for his family. Alice had just pushed that love aside and didn’t care. God why had she messed up so terribly? Michael - the man she started having an affair with - was married. She knew better but did it anyway. What was worse was that his wife was dying of cancer and instead of him spending time with his wife; he was spending his time with Alice. Alice had stayed with this man for 14 years after the divorce. The promises he had made to her all fell through. Michael’s wife passed away after six years of the affair with Alice and Melanie never knew about it. Now he had also put her aside instead of marrying her as he had implied years ago. He had not put her aside so much for another woman although there had been several but more so because of the alcohol problem he had. He had his best friends at the bar and Alice was not going to come between that. That bar was a competition that she found she couldn’t compete with and win. Now here she was with nothing. She had gambled with God that she could do a better job of managing her life than he could and she had lost. As Alice was refl ecting on her past, Megan was trying to fi nish up with her chores at the restaurant. She was worried about the customer that had been here nearly all day. That poor lady was so depressed and Megan always worried about suicide. She had a best friend in high school who had committed suicide and she often wondered if there could have been something she could have or should have done to try and prevent it. Maybe it was God talking to her telling her to help the woman. Maybe she had gotten more intuitive with years. Whatever it was, she knew this lady was in trouble and she had to help her no matter what anyone might think. She knew it was risky but sometimes you had to take a chance and she was going to take a chance now with her. When Megan got off the woman was still sitting at the table. She had eaten all the food that Megan had sent out to her long ago. Maybe she would be hungry again. Megan gently touched her shoulder and the woman jumped. “Oh I am so sorry I startled you.” Megan told her. “No that’s okay I was just off in my own little world.” Alice replied. “Would you like me to get you something else to eat?” Megan asked her. “No I am fi ne and you really shouldn’t have gotten the other food but I thank you so much and it was very good.” “You are welcome and thank you. Do you mind if I sit with you for a minute?” “No I am enjoying your company.” “I am working this job and going to college at the same time. It gets to be pretty much on a person and I am worn out.” “Yes honey you need to get on home. Don’t worry about me.” “I am going to go home and I am taking you with me! No don’t shake your head. I would like the company tonight and if you don’t want to stay then you can leave tomorrow but tonight I want to hear your story and then you can hear mine.” “I wouldn’t want to impose on you.” “It is not an imposition if it were I wouldn’t have asked you, okay?” “Are you sure?” “Yes quite sure. Have you got any bags you need to put in my car?” Alice held up the only thing she owned. It was a tattered old red bag that Megan was sure had seen better days. “This is all you have?” “Yes!” Alice replied, ashamed at what her life had become. ‘Yes!’ Megan thought I will help this lady. I have a feeling that if I don’t then tonight might be her last on this earth and I refuse to let that happen. Megan waved good bye to Jodie—the other waitress—as she and the woman headed out the door. On the drive back to Megan’s apartment, Megan fi nally found out the woman had a name. She was Alice Donaldson. ‘Well Ms. Alice your life is about to change’ Megan thought. CHAPTER TWO On the way to the apartment, Megan had refrained from talking to Alice about her problems. Megan thought they would wait and have a good supper fi rst and then they would sit down and talk. Megan didn’t know what had put Alice in the position she was in now but she was determined to help her. Megan’s apartment was a nice two bedroom, two bath cozy little place. Thank God she was on the fi rst fl oor because Alice knew she wouldn’t be able to climb those stairs to the second fl oor. At 48, Alice already had arthritis, fi bromyalgia and a multitude of other things wrong including her back that hurt constantly. She couldn’t sit nor stand for long, she even found it hard to lie down and not have pain. Alice was glad for the help, even for a night that Megan was offering her. She just didn’t know what she would do tomorrow. Megan started a quick supper of spaghetti with a special sauce that she made. She learned the recipe from her mother who had been a terrifi c cook. While the spaghetti was boiling she browned the hamburger adding mushrooms, garlic powder, onion powder, fresh chopped onions and peppers. After this was sautéed she added her tomato sauce. She had won a spaghetti cook-off about 2 years ago with this recipe. The entire time she was cooking, Alice sat at the kitchen table and listened to Megan tell her about herself. This helped to put Alice at ease, knowing a little about this wonderful person. She was a minister’s daughter and her mother had played the piano and worked with the youth group of their church. Megan had been raised to know of Christ’s love. Alice thought back and still remembering that she had too been raised this way. Megan had her wayward side also, Alice was about to learn. At the age of 15 Megan had run away for over a week. She had been smoking m*******a and was dating a young man that her strict parents certainly didn’t approve of. Travis was already in college and liked trouble. He had seduced Megan and she thought she was in love. It was after she had run away to be with him that she saw his darker more sinister side. She had been tired of living the Christian life that her parents—it seemed—had enforced upon her. Right now she didn’t want that life; she wanted a life of freedom and fun. She wanted to be a teenager not a Bible thumper. Little did she know that God had other plans and wasn’t going to let her mess her life up with Satan. Travis had used her and abused her. The second day she was with him wasn’t going to be the fi rst time he would slap her around. Megan let this go on for over a week until she had had enough. She left while he was in class to go home and never had spoken to him again. She vowed her life would be in the hands of the all knowing God from that point on and she had never strayed again. There was no greater love than the love of Jesus. But just like Megan, Alice also knew the discipline was just as great as his love. In her opinion sometimes it didn’t weigh the same. The discipline was much greater, she felt than the love. “I was always taught about how Jesus was beaten and abused and died for our sins and iniquities. By his blood we are saved. You know Alice you are not alone. Even when you are physically alone, Jesus is always with you. How long has it been since you went to church?” “I have gone off and on in the last few years, when I felt like it. Mostly I would go when I needed something from God or needed the churches help. But I haven’t held lately to being in a church much. I feel like God doesn’t listen to me so therefore, I must be so unworthy and a sinner in his eyes. Otherwise, why wouldn’t he help me if I was the person that he could be proud to call his child?” Alice could not fathom why she felt she really had to tell the whole unabridged truth to this girl but that’s just what she did. “You know Alice, when we are down that is when God is the closest to us. Sometimes you have to be knocked down for him to lift you back up so you will give him the glory and not stray from him again.” “I have always heard that he will knock you down until you don’t think you can get back up if you sin against him but how much farther can I go? I have also heard that he will never put more on you than you can stand. I have never been a saint but I have never done some of the terrible things either. I have never killed anyone, I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink. You know I am not perfect but I am not a criminal either. So why won’t he help me? I am down as far as I can go. Do you know all I want to do is die? Do you know that? I can’t take anymore.” “Alice have you turned everything in your life over to him and actually mean it? God is not a sometimes God. He is not an I want you now because I am losing it all—God! He is an I want it all or nothing God and if you have been raised to know him—which I already know you were—then your chastisement is going to be way greater than a sinners would be. The reason why is because you already know what his word says and you committed yourself to follow him and his teachings but yet you don’t. A sinner knows he is there but ignores him and probably has never learned what the Bible says or stands for. Now we are going to pick you up and get you through this troublesome time. That’s why I invited you here—I believe God has a plan and we are going to pray it through. I don’t care if we have to sit up for a week. God wants you and he sent you into the restaurant today and spoke to me about you. I follow his word and I listen to him and abide in him.” Alice had started tearing up again. She knew that Megan was speaking the truth. Oh if she could just feel Jesus again she knows everything in her life would turn around for her. Alice listened to Megan and when she was fi nished speaking Alice said meekly, “Thank you, Megan. I also thank God that he sent you to me. I was going to kill myself today. Do you know that?” Megan closed her eyes and praised the Lord that he had once again gave her wisdom because yes she knew that if God didn’t intervene then today would have been this woman’s last day on this earth. “Yes, Alice actually God gave me the wisdom of knowing and I am here to help you through this. We are going to battle with Jesus tonight by our side to regain what Satan has stolen from you!” “Thank God he sent you into my life.” Alice and Megan both were quiet while they both praised Jesus in their own way. Megan had put garlic bread in the oven and when it was within seconds of being done, she fi xed Alice a plate of spaghetti and fi xed herself one. She was used to being a server so she served Alice’s plate and sat her own plate down. She then took out the garlic bread and served it and a glass of iced tea for both women. Megan bowed her head and following suit Alice followed her in praise to the Lord for the food they would now partake. The two women, one at the peak of her youth and the other having seen better days in her life, sat eating the spaghetti meal in silence. Alice declared to Megan that this was indeed the best spaghetti that she had ever eaten. “Thank you Alice that is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received.” “You are quite welcome and I did not embellish on the honesty of it. You are a master at the art of cooking!” “Again my thanks, ma’am!” Megan said with a beautiful smile on her beautiful face. When she smiled Alice thought that maybe this girl was not real at all but an angel sent down from Heaven. After eating Alice wanted to repay her by doing the dishes but Megan said no. She would rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. Alice could go in the living room if she wanted and make herself comfortable. Alice went into the living room which was furnished with a brown leather couch and matching chair. There was a coffee table and two end tables. On the coffee table was a Bible. Alice noticed that there was not a television or a computer in this room so she picked up the Bible. Before she started to read any of it she got up to go to the restroom. Alice had not looked in a mirror in several days. She was homeless so most of her abolitions had been done in gas stations that had no mirrors. She looked at herself now. The vibrant auburn hair that she had always had cut and styled without a hair out of place, now was gray and matted in places. She had bags under her eyes with dark circles under them. The dark blue eyes that had always been her main attraction now were bleak and showed the signs of hopelessness instead of the mystery that had always been present in them. Oh even her looks had changed so drastically. She had lost weight too. At one time she had weighed over 200 pounds and at fi ve foot four was quite plump but now she was near nothing. Today had actually been the fi rst time in weeks that she had a descent meal rather than the crumbs that had been left over from someone else’s meal. She closed her eyes and asked God to give her strength and wisdom. Let the friendship that he had given her this very day with this young woman be a sanction to her soul. She knew where she needed to go in her life, so “Lord, Jesus” she cried out “lead me and guide me in the way that I must do your will. Teach me Father to be a light in this world of darkness and to be able to bare the punishment for the sins that I have committed against you. Thank you Lord in the name of Jesus, Amen.” She felt better for the small prayer she had just prayed. Alice returned to the living room and within a couple of minutes Megan joined her. “I’m sorry I don’t have a television in here for you to watch. My dad and mom believed them to be a sin and I agree. “I have to admit that is something I miss—being able to watch what I wanted to on television.” “Tell me, what were some of the things you always liked to watch?” “I liked the talk shows and stuff like Criminal Minds, CSI, and Without a Trace!” “Okay, let’s take one of those—let’s say the talk shows and we will hit the others later.” “Okay, I liked Maury Povich, Oprah –every now and then, and Steve Wilkos.” “On these talk shows, isn’t it mostly about who the baby’s father is, or who abused the child or the woman?” “Yes!! But if you don’t watch television—How did you know that?” “Some of the girls at school come in all the time talking about them. They say there have been women on there that have been back 8 and 9 times looking for their baby’s daddy. Do you not think they sinned to be able to do this?” “Yes, but remember the p********e? The crowd was going to stone her and Jesus told them ‘let he who is without sin cast the fi rst stone’.” “Yes this is true but when you watch these shows you are deliberately inviting the sin into your mind. They curse, beat on each other, lie….. etc. This is a sin to watch and I believe if Jesus where here he would agree with me! Remember the bracelets that came out—WWJD—What would Jesus do? I believe you have to think about that—what would he do? Would he watch these programs or would he think they were a sin.” “I see what you mean but what about the preachers that are on television?” “Okay—how many times have you seen one on television and he has not told the viewers a certain money amount to send?” “I have to admit not many although I have watched ministers on Sunday morning that haven’t asked people to send money.” “Ok but I still have your answer for that one. There are a lot of people that are disabled that can’t get out of the house on Sunday to go to church. There are also a lot of people that can’t go because they have to work. The Sunday morning programs do them good—at least the word of God is getting out.” “I see your point. I have another one for you—in Genesis, God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh which he called the Sabbath so in Exodus 20—one of the commandments is ‘Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.’ By our calendar, Saturday is the Sabbath not Sunday because Sunday is the fi rst day. So what day is the Sabbath?” “Remember the Bible is completed by the Jewish and Hebrew calendars! The days are different over there than here and granted our Sunday is the fi rst day of the week and Saturday is the last. But in our country Sunday would be the Sabbath because it coincides with the last day of the week in Israel. Do you understand this—because that is a complicated one?” “Yes I think I do understand. You are such an interesting person and so knowledgeable in what you speak. What is your major in school?” “Theology and Psychology are my majors with a minor in Sociology! This is how I know about the Jewish and Hebrew differences—I’ve taken classes in it.”“Wow! That is so awesome. I wish I had taken something like that in school.” “The classes are pretty rich in cultural learning and I have learned more than I did from my father and he had been a Reverend for many years.” “So you can really help me to get God to listen?” “God is always listening! He may not answer you right then and there and it may not be the answer you want—but he still answers each and every prayer.” Alice began to cry “I’ve asked him so many times to help me and when I do things always get worse on me than what they were before.” “Let’s see if we can maybe decipher why! What have you asked him for?” “I asked him to get me out of that apartment and give me a home of my own is one thing. Another I wanted money so I wouldn’t have to struggle anymore! Instead of giving me a home—I lost my apartment, instead of giving me money—I am now destitute.” “God wants his children to have money and a nice place to live so let’s see if we can fi gure out why he hasn’t answered in the good way.” “Okay what do you want to know?” “Let’s start at the beginning to see where you went wrong and yes somewhere you have gone wrong.” “I know—but my story is long. Are you sure you want to put up with me that long?” “Except for sleep, work and when I am in class—I have all kinds of time.” “Okay.” Alice said with some doubt. Megan sat back comfortably to start listening. As Alice refl ected back on her life, she began to unwrap a tale of s*x abuse, s****l promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, theft, a******y and lies. As Megan listened she thought to herself ‘no wonder this poor woman is in the place she is—oh she needs God in her life and to be truly forgiven.’ This is the story as Alice told it to Megan: CHAPTER THREE As Alice began to speak—you could see the pain of refl ection in her eyes. Oh what a life this child of God has been through. Megan prayed silently that God would keep giving her the wisdom she would need to help Alice. “I was born in an era of freedom of s*x and drugs. It was in the 60’s when fl ower children were standing on the streets in protest to the Viet Nam war. They would cry ‘Make love not war’ on the streets. The hallucinogens LSD and acid was the drug of choice. m*******a, cocaine and h****n were in great use among the “hippie” groups. The fi fties had been quiet but the people were changing— the change made people worse than ever. In the fi fties families would go to church together and the kids couldn’t tell their parents they didn’t want to go. The children were in obedience to the parents and had respect for them. In the sixties all of that began to change. Social services had started putting their claws into parents who would discipline the children. This is when the rebellions of the youth started. Parents could no longer s***k their child for misbehavior because of the threat of going to jail. Getting off track for a moment—did you know that people going to prison has gradually gotten to be worse since the sixties—when the social services started ruling families?” “Yes I do know that! Continue I like listening to the way you are telling the story.” “You know they should really just interfere if the child has bruises or broken bones—they should leave it alone and stay out of the lives of the families. Then their work load wouldn’t be so heavy.” Megan just nodded her head in agreement. “My dad had been married before he married my mom and his wife passed away. She left him with four children to raise on his own. When dad worked he had to leave the kids with my grandparents. My grandfather was an alcoholic and would go sing on the streets drunk on Sunday mornings. Someone called Social Services and daddy lost all his kids only getting one of them back but the oldest went to the Marines and was deployed to Viet Nam. Dad’s two youngest children were adopted out. This was around 1961. Shortly after that my dad met my mom and they married. Mom always said she wished they had met about a year before because she would have taken every one of them to raise. Mom also had a daughter from a previous marriage. After mom and dad married—they had dad’s oldest daughter and mom’s daughter and became a family. They had me in 1962. Three years later my baby brother was born. Two years later dad’s oldest son was killed in Viet Nam. I don’t know if this triggered something in the way dad and mom raised us or what but things were never the same. My grandfather, the one who caused dad to lose his other two kids and he was the alcoholic - moved in with us. My grandmother had died right before I was born so dad didn’t want grandpa to have to live alone. I guess I was about six when grandpa started to sexually abuse me. I couldn’t tell though. Grandpa would tell me that Social Services had already taken two of dad’s kids and if I told they would take me and my brother too. So I didn’t tell because I didn’t want my daddy to be hurt anymore. I let this happen until I was about ten and then I told my sister—my mom’s daughter. That’s when she and my brother in law came and took me to live with them. Grandpa died when I was 12 and I remember spitting on him. I felt so much hatred for him. So I came back home. It was after I came home that the boyfriends began. I would run with boys all the time. I started having s*x with all of them when I was 12. My grandpa had told me that if I wanted to ever keep a man’s love then I had to have s*x with them. I never enjoyed it but I wanted them all to love me. Mom and dad never knew. This was also about the time I took up smoking. I would raise my window in my bedroom and blow the smoke out the window so they would never know and as far as I know they never did know I smoked when I was that young. The drinking started when I was about 13. I remember going to the river with a boy and some other friend’s. He had a fi fth of Jack Daniel’s in his glove compartment and I grabbed the bottle and started drinking it. I drank just about the whole bottle before we got to the river. Once we got down there Tim told me to hand him his blank blank bottle and I told him no. He said he would shoot it out of my hand if I didn’t give it to him. You see even at this time, I wanted to die. I told him to shoot it out of my hand. I held the bottle up and out away from my body and he shot it. I never received even a cut from the broken glass or a graze from the bullet. I do think God has a plan for my life because even though I have lost everything, he has still always protected me from serious injury and death.” “I believe God has a plan for you but I want to hear the rest.” “I was always raised in church so every Sunday and Wednesday I would be there. I would sing in the church and play the piano—I even taught Sunday school and was in the bus ministry. Looking back on that I see how I was pretending that whole time and I had the church fooled. They thought I was a good Christian for them to let me teach Sunday school and play the piano. I realize that even though they may have been fooled, I didn’t fool God did I?” Megan just shook her head no. “I met Sam, which was my husband, when I was 14. He and I dated until I got pregnant at 16. I thought about it later that we only went out on the nights he wanted s*x. He never took me to eat or to a movie. We only went to park somewhere. One time we went out and a friend of mine was staying with us. Mom told me that if I wanted to go out with him then I had to take MaryAnn with me. Sam was drinking—I want to let you know though—after we married he would drink very seldom. He also had some m*******a. We drank some and smoked some “weed” and then he wanted to have s*x with MaryAnn. I sat in the front seat listening to the two of them going at it in the back seat. I was hurt but what difference it made it wasn’t like it was the fi rst time I was hurt. No one really wanted me anyway. I don’t think I would have ever forgiven him and married him if MaryAnn hadn’t thrown up all over him. For some reason that made it alright. He was paid back. Oh how I laughed—I could hold my liquor and she threw all of hers up. I remember laughing so hard about that. I always would sneak into the house after a date so mom wouldn’t smell the alcohol or the m*******a. One time when I was about 15 I got a scare. I was late on my monthly and mom accused me of being pregnant. I swore to her I hadn’t done anything to get pregnant. Of course I lied. So in the back of my mind yes I was really worried about it. Thank God it didn’t happen at that time but it did a year later. I had been a “good girl” for a few months. I hadn’t seen Sam or any of my other boyfriends. I was trying to change. Of course it didn’t happen. There wasn’t any fun in being a “true Christian” but I really did try. I remember the night I got pregnant. It was a Wednesday in March of 1977. It was cold and snowing outside. I was taking care of my brother in laws mother and staying with her at her trailer. I had gotten up that morning and Wanda—the woman I was staying with - always had vodka in the refrigerator. I had the vodka for breakfast. The only problem was—breakfast lasted all day and that night was church. I couldn’t miss church, I was the pianist. So I drank until I was so drunk I had to lie down. I was still drunk when the guy I rode with to church came and got me. I sat up there and played the piano just like I was a saint but I was still high from the vodka. I thought no one knew but I really think they did. When I arrived back to Wanda’s that night, Sam was waiting. I snuck him into the house and we had s*x most of the night. Afterward, I didn’t see him again until I was seven months pregnant. I would call the house for him but he always told his mother to tell me he wasn’t there. The next Sunday morning, I went to church of course as was my usual routine. This morning there was new visitor there. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He had dark brown hair, brown eyes dark in his complexion, he was about fi ve foot nine and maybe weighed one hundred and eighty. God he was gorgeous and the best part—he was watching me on the piano. It turned out—he too played piano. He and I later on would sing together and play duets. I fell instantly and truly in love for the fi rst time in my life. Then I found out I was pregnant and the baby wasn’t his. For the fi rst time ever—you see—I had a relationship with a man that I would not sleep with the whole time we were together. I would have if he had asked but he never did. He and I didn’t actually date. We would sit together in church and sing together, but that was as far as it went. When my baby came along, everyone in church thought that he was the father that’s how close he and I were. People would congratulate him on the birth of his son. He would just smile and never told anyone that the baby was not his. He didn’t want me looking bad in their eyes. I had told him when I found I was pregnant that I had been r***d. I lied of course but I wanted him to feel sorry for me and fall in love with me. I always wanted someone to feel sorry for me and lying to them about a situation always seemed to work. My baby boy was 2 months old when Sam told me we were getting married. He never asked he told. Well I did marry him three days later. I cried often for the lost love that I had at the church. A man I loved more than anyone I had ever been with was now lost to me forever. He moved out of state within two weeks of my marriage to Sam. You know if I had married him, my life would have been so different. He has never married as far as I know to this day.” Megan smiled and nodded an affi rmation and for Alice to go on. “Sam’s mother bought everything for our apartment even the baby bed for baby Jessie. Sam worked and I stayed home all the time. I didn’t go to work until I was nineteen. By this time I already had little Sarah. She was such a good and precious baby. Where Jessie had cried with stomach problems, Sarah was the contrast to that—she slept and laughed all of the time. I actually thought something was wrong with her because she never cried. She was a healthy baby and the sweet light of my life. Both my children were my precious angels but she was my girl. I went to work driving a school bus. This is where I met with my fi rst extramarital affair. Two years into the marriage and I was already having an affair. I had quite a few friends at the bus garage and they would cover for me and him. You see I had told tales that he had beat me and had a girlfriend to make these people feel sorry for me and not like Sam. Therefore they would cover for us. The lies never started until I was having this affair. I had to have help didn’t I or I would have gotten caught. This was the fi rst of many affairs and already I was a pro at secrecy and lies. The affair went on for quite awhile and then people started talking at the garage about it. When one of my friends and I got into an argument, I quit. I had worked there for one year. Throughout my life I never held a job for long. I guess I just didn’t want to work. At fi rst I didn’t really have to if I didn’t want to but then later in life it became imperative that I work but still I would not hold a job. We bought our fi rst house after 3 years of marriage. It was a cute little starter home of brick, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. I would babysit to help meet the mortgage. Then I went to work in security. I was at fi rst at Central Baptist Hospital doing their security then I went to L&N Glass. L&N was where my second affair took place. I really didn’t want the guy, he was just there and available. He was married so I don’t mean available that way but available as to being handy. He told his wife about us and said he loved me. Well that ended that affair and my job. I didn’t work again for quite awhile although it didn’t stop the affairs. My dad was a fi refi ghter and so was my brother in law. I would go to the fi re stations and see both of them. That is where I met Josh. Josh also had a wife and children but I didn’t care, I wanted him. He and I would meet in different places right at the fi re station when it was his shift. We even had s*x in the back of the fi re truck. I liked the thought of helping people and wanted to make myself bigger than what I was so I called a private ambulance service. I told them I was a certifi ed EMT. They never checked it out but hired me anyway. So I worked for them for quite a long time. I liked the glamour of not quite being a doctor but acting like I knew more about medicine than the average layman did. In reality I did know quite a lot. I had learned it from my dad and my brother in law. They had taught me how to take a blood pressure, pulse rate and respiration rate. So I was doing well at least I did know that much. I never did get a license but this was my longest running job so far. I stayed there 3 years. For a while this was also my miss goody two shoes job. I had no affairs - at least not the fi rst 2 years. Then there was the EMT who started running with us. I really liked him so he and I would meet upstairs at the ambulance service in the EMT sleeping quarters. This only happened two or three times because then I was done with him. Thank God that I behaved for a long time after that because I became pregnant again shortly before leaving the ambulance service. One thing I can be proud of is that all of my kids do belong to Sam. Of this I have no doubts. Juliana was born a little over 14 months after the affair had ended. She was so tiny and beautiful and looked just like Sarah had when she had been born. The only difference was her curly dark hair. The curls came from me and the dark hair from Sam. So far all of the kids had that dark look like Sam had. He was fi ve foot eleven and never weighed over 155 in his life. He had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Oh yes he was one handsome man but still I couldn’t make myself love him. No matter how hard he would work, no matter what - all I wanted was out but yet the kids kept coming. Two years after Juliana was born along came Rachael who again looked just like Sarah and Juliana. Allen came last a little less than two years after Rachael. We should have been a happy family but once again I wanted to go to work. I went back to work at the bus garage. This is where I met the man who would be the downfall of me. Because I fell in love—for real—I ruined the lives of Sam, Jessie, Sarah, Juliana, Rachael and Allen not to mention my own life. CHAPTER FOUR Michael and I started out innocently enough. We would go have breakfast and just hang out. He felt guilty because of his wife. He did love Melanie but their romance had ended quite a while back. He was the only man that had ever been in my life that would open a car door or restaurant door, pull the chair out for me at a restaurant or give me roses. No man had ever treated me like this. He would spend money on me like it was nothing and of course I ate it up - all of this attention. We had been seeing each other between bus runs for about six months when we fi nally had s*x. That was all it took for him. He told me he loved me too. He and I would be together every day and it was about 8 months into the relationship that Sarah told her dad on me. She had every right. Oh I got really mad at her at fi rst but then I realized it had been for the best. For the fi rst time in my life I admitted to something instead of trying to lie my way out of it. Sam and I were divorced the next year. No if you are wondering I wasn’t still at the bus garage, I was now working for the phone company. But Michael and I were still going strong and seeing each other every day. Michael’s wife was diagnosed with colon cancer about three years into our relationship. I pretended that it was bothering me that she had cancer but I was actually elated. I wanted to marry him. He had money, which then I could raise my kids good with, I loved him and the s*x was awesome so why not marry the man! About two years later was when Michael told me that when Melanie died he wanted me and my kids to be his family. Also that year my oldest son married a woman 10 years older than he was. I tried to get him not too even though I loved her to death but she was the mother fi gure to him that I never had been and he was determined. So Jessie and Michele were married. I cried. She had two children already that became my grandchildren when the two got married. Kevin and Teresa were just toddlers when Jessie became their father. A year after Jessie and Michele married, Melanie died and Sarah became pregnant and not married. Instead of me being upset about this, I was happy of all things. I should have been angry—if I had been the right kind of mother I would have been very angry. But what could I do and how could I blame when I had done the same thing.” Throughout the whole narration Alice was sharing of her life, Megan sat listening intent on what this woman was saying. What turmoil must have gone on in her mind? Megan calculated that it all came about because of the s****l abuse she had endured as a child. She felt that Alice had done these things looking for love. She didn’t want to interrupt; she just wanted to hear her life story. Maybe she could help to untangle some of the damage done in her life and make things right again for her. Alice noticed the attention she was getting from this young woman and for some reason she just couldn’t embellish the story so she would come out in a better light. No instead she wanted to tell the truth. She needed to take the blame for what her life had become. She continued the horrid tale of her life. “Sarah’s baby was born a boy, she called him William and we shortened it to Billy. Billy was born with a heart condition called Wolff Parkinson—White syndrome and we didn’t know if he would make it or not. Why God listened to my prayers then is totally beyond me but he did. I prayed God would spare this beautiful grandchild of mine. Billy had heart problems but when he was six—he underwent a surgery that fi xed the problem. My daddy also died within months of Billy’s birth. This was hard as I loved my daddy greatly and if anything had happened at that time to Billy—I don’t think I would have made it. I don’t mean to veer off the timeline—I just wanted you to know God did answer that prayer and that Billy is okay now.” Megan understood and nodded her head. “Your story is fascinating please tell me the rest.” “I still have a long way to go so are you sure you want to hear it tonight?” “I don’t have to work tomorrow and there are no classes so I am good. Please I would love to hear it.” “Okay I will fi nish my life up for you.” Alice picked up where she had left off. “Michael had said he wanted my family to be his. Now that Melanie was dead we could get married after a year. It didn’t happen that way. He told me he didn’t want to get married to anyone. Well of course in my way of doing things, I was angry and retaliated by marrying another man. I however only stayed with this man for 8 days. The damage had been done to Michael and me. I tried to keep it secret from Michael but he was on his way to my house one day and saw Joe driving my van and then I had no choice but to tell him the truth. I made up every reason I could think of, which of course where all lies, as to why I married this man. There was no way I would tell him it was to retaliate against him for not marrying me. He forgave and we kept our relationship but he never forgot. From that point on our relationship was rocky. We did move in together though and I really think that is what tore us apart in the end. Michael started drinking very heavily after my marriage to Joe and wouldn’t stay home with me. We stopped going out. We stopped being together for everything but s*x. It became just like a marriage that had run its course and was ending. We still hung on to each other for another eight years. But I did move out after four years of this living arrangement. During these eight years I bought a SUV putting $4000.00 down on it. I made payments but I wasn’t making them enough even though I paid double payments every month. You see he put the vehicle in his name so the interest would be lower and he wanted it paid and out of his name. I had one year left to pay on it and he made me give it back to him. He sold it a week later to one of his bar friends. This action left me without a vehicle to drive. My youngest son had gotten into trouble and was put In a boys home one hundred and forty miles from me and with my SUV gone, I had no way to go see him. Still I stayed with Michael. He would always holler about me not having any money so I was determined to never ask him for any money again. I invented this glamorous job that I made a lot of money at and he believed me. Sarah had married a couple of years after Billy was born and had Stephanie and then Amy. She was doing pretty good but still didn’t have much. I hated her husband at fi rst. John was a terrible person I thought but then as time went on I accepted him as the most wonderful of son in laws. She had quit school right before Billy was born and had to work in a restaurant to live. Juliana had left home right after Sarah and put her life with me behind her. She doesn’t call or anything. I haven’t heard from her in years. Rachael was married at Michael’s house to a punk. I couldn’t stand Russell. I actually had put him up against a wall and threatened him when I fi rst found out they were seeing each other. I told him I didn’t want him around my daughter. He talked to me and lied and stupid me believed him. He said people were lying about him doing drugs and that he loved Rachael. His mother didn’t help any. She was dying of cancer and wanted to see Russell happy before she died and she loved Rachael. So I let her marry him at seventeen. Soon she was addicted to drugs, shooting them into her arm. Of course I wouldn’t believe this. Sarah was the one who told me and I wouldn’t listen. Sarah also told me that Russell was beating up on Rachael. Thank God when her baby was born—a beautiful little girl named Josie—that she was okay. Michael and I had fi nally called it quits but before I left him, I took some money that didn’t belong to me. I had access to his account with his ATM card and I withdrew $6000.00 which I never told him of. Life should have been wonderful for me but it wasn’t. I was going to the bars every night. It was at the bar that I fell in love for the third time in my life. His name was Adam. He played the keyboard for the band and I was crazy in love with him. He was a magnifi cent musician. Handsome in his own rugged type way. He had blondish brown hair, blue eyes, and a little goatee that I loved to run my hands over. I would fantasize about a life with him. I guess you can see that by this time I had completely forgotten about God. I had already lost so much and yes I was blaming God for it all. I don’t know how I was living, I had no job but somehow I was making it. I lived in low income housing and on food stamps. I had gone back to school and this is how I kept my bills up. I had a check from the school each semester and I guess that is the only way I made it as far as I had. One night Sarah called me and said that Russell had beat Rachael up again. This time I made my way to their house. I told him and his sister and her boyfriend they had fi ve minutes to be able to walk out of the house otherwise they would be going out in a body bag. I meant what I said. They left and I never saw them again. A few days later Social services showed up at the door and threatened to take Josie away from Rachael. Rachael accused me of calling them but I didn’t. That is one of the many reasons she doesn’t speak to me now. Rachael managed to talk them into letting her get away from her husband and go to Florida where her sister in law Michele lived. For some reason they agreed to this. By this time Jessie and Michele were split up and he was back in Kentucky living with a girl I couldn’t stand. Her name was Robin and she was the town tramp. She was mean to him and took all of his money. I didn’t like it not one bit. But he would not listen and as far as I know he is still with her.” Megan held up her hand. “Wait a minute—you mean you don’t know anything about any of your kids - where they are or anything?” “I didn’t say that. I know where they are—they just don’t have anything to do with me.” “Oh I am so sorry! Go ahead with your story—I won’t interrupt you again.” “Don’t worry about it. I am surprised you even want to hear it.” “No I do—please—continue!” “Well just so you know Allen did get to come home.” “That was a blessing.” “Yes it was indeed that. The good thing is he graduated high school—the only one of my kids that had graduated and is going to college now. He and I are very close and the woman he is with well I love her to pieces. Her name is Becky. He is going to marry her this June. I am very proud of him. What bothers me though is he is the one I didn’t raise and he done better than the others. That is why I say I ruined their lives. If I had been a better mother maybe my other babies wouldn’t be struggling so hard.”       “What     about     Juliana—did       she fi nish       school?” “That I couldn’t say. I haven’t seen Juliana in more than eight years.” “Oh that must be terrible” “It is but she is better off without me in her life!” “Okay, if you say so. Please continue.” “I’m going to jump back to Rachael a minute. She got down in Florida and went to work. She started running with a girl that she had known years before from a brief stay that she had with Jessie and Michele. She robbed the place she worked at and was in a lot of trouble. No one knew where she was not even the police. We suspected that she had gone back to Russell but no one knew for sure. Where ever she was, she had Josie with her! It was while Rachael was on the run that I lost my momma to death. There wasn’t much more I could take. I cried out to God for the fi rst time in a very long time. Rachael called me the next day but I still didn’t know where she was but I knew she was okay. Again God answered my prayer. It turned out that she was with Russell because she asked me to wire her money and I did. Then the police come to the door of the place she was staying and she accused me of calling them. I didn’t call them they traced her from her money pickup at Money Gram. She called Michele and about the time Michele got to her, Russell and his sister was beating up on her again. Michele took her and Josie out of there and went back to Florida. She managed to get out of the problems she had by turning herself in. The judge fi ned her and she had to pay back what she owed from the theft. She does not talk to me to this day. I don’t even know why because I only tried to protect her from Russell. I went back to work and then got down sick. For the fi rst Christmas in 30 years I had no money to buy Christmas for anyone. This is how I have managed to lose everything. After I was well enough to go back to work, my car broke down. I had no way to work and I lost my furniture, then I got the eviction but managed to get an extension on it. They shut off my phone and my internet and then I lost my home. That’s when I met you. I lost everything about 2 weeks ago and now here I am.” Megan sat thinking of all that Alice had told her. It seemed that indeed Alice was under a chastisement from God. Now she had to think what to do. “Let’s do some prayer tonight and I will think on how to proceed tomorrow. I want you to get a good night’s sleep and don’t think of going anywhere. I want you to stay here with me for a while.” “Are you sure about that?” “Yes, I am very sure.” The two women knelt down at the couch and began to pray—Alice silently for she didn’t know what to say to a God that she hardly ever talked to anymore. Megan prayed aloud— she knew exactly what to say. “Father, we come before you humbly and in your presence. As we kneel before thee honoring you for being our Loving God. We thank you Father that you are also a forgiving God. Lord you know the trials and tribulations that my sister Alice has been through in her life and we know the cause of a lot of it. Lord we ask now that you forgive her the transgressions of the life that she has led. Give her the gift of forgiveness for she needs - Father to forgive the grandfather that abused her so sorely. She has lost so much Lord to Satan and his imps but Lord we know that it can be returned a hundred times over. Father we ask that you do this—return to her Lord—the love of the children that she loves so very much and all that she has lost through the guilt and the pain of the life she has had this far. Protect her Lord for she is still ignorant of the love that you have to give. Show her the way so she can kneel at the cross of salvation and accept your everlasting love and kindness. Keep Satan from her Lord from this day forward. I pray this to you in the blessed holy name of Jesus—Amen.” “Oh Megan that was the most beautiful prayer I have ever heard.” Alice said with tears falling down her cheeks. Megan told Alice to take the front bedroom and tomorrow they would wash her clothes and go shopping for more clothes. So after a quick shower Alice lay in a clean warm bed for the fi rst time in weeks as she had also lost her furniture weeks before she lost her home. CHAPTER FIVE When Megan fi nally laid down for what was left of the night, her mind wandered back to the story she had just heard. She didn’t think that any of it had been a falsehood for too many things that didn’t make Alice out to be the best of people had been revealed. Oh what a retched life she had to partake of. She still felt that Alice’s problems stemmed from the s*x abuse as a child. She also wondered if Alice had told all or if some things had been omitted on purpose. She would never force Alice to tell anything she didn’t want to reveal but she had to let go. She needed to release the anger and forgive. “Dear God in heaven’ once again she prayed, ‘please release this poor soul from the clutches of evil and give her a sanctuary in the body of thy will. Thank you Jesus, thank you.” Finally Megan found sleep. Sleep didn’t come as easy for Alice that night. She knew that God had put her with this angel but what was lying in store for her she could not tell. Alice dwelled on her past. She knew about God’s love for her. Soul searching she still could not fi gure out what she had done so wrong in her life to be under the punishment that she was under. She had committed a******y numerous times. She had stolen from Michael and then a great realization came to her. Not only had she stolen money from Michael but she had stolen from Melanie as well when she took Michael’s love away from her. She had stolen from her children, stolen the time that they needed her. Stolen from Sam when she took his children and her away from the man that she had promised in front of God that she would love, honor, cherish and obey for the rest of her earthly life. She had promised she would be faithful and love him until death did them apart. He was still alive; he had what he needed to live. She was the one that was hurting because she was the one who had caused so much pain. She had stolen the children’s time away from their father. She and she alone had changed the path that every life involved would go down. No she hadn’t any right to God’s grace but right or no right she knew she had it. God loved her no matter what she had done in life. She thought he had left her and turned his back on her but no she was the one who had turned away from God. Oh how blind she had been - How blind she still was. Would God accept her now? Was it too late to ask his forgiveness? Alice got on her knees beside the bed and cried out to God, begging his forgiveness, giving him praise. She asked him to live in her heart again and to never let her push him away again. “I love you Jesus and I thank you and praise you for the blood you shed on Calvary so that all of my sins will be washed away and I can be made whole again. I know that you took the pain and stripes for me and that you arose again on the third day. I believe that you are the son of God and I thank you Lord for saving me. Amen.” Alice began in that moment to feel a peace that she had not felt in a long time. She knew that everything would be alright now. She also knew that what Satan had stolen—God would return to her one hundred times over. Being at peace with God, she closed her eyes - not in the death that she had intended it would be—but in a peaceful rest knowing that God’s grace was suffi cient and he would see her through all her trials. The next morning Alice awoke to the smell of bacon, eggs, biscuits and freshly brewed coffee. Oh it smelled so delicious. She remembered the night before and how she had talked to Jesus before she fell asleep and that he had forgiven her for every sin. Her slate was clean. “Good morning Megan.” Megan turned at the sound of her voice and the shine illuminating from Alice’s face told Megan that Alice had accepted Jesus. Megan walked the length of the room and hugged her. Crying Megan said “thank you Jesus thank you.” To Alice, Megan said, “I see the light of Christ shining in your eyes. Your face is shining with his love. You got saved last night didn’t you Miss Alice?” “Yes Megan I did and you don’t know how much I thank you for making me see the wrong that I have done. Not the wrong just done toward my kids husband and yes even Michael but everyone else’s life that was attached to them. You made me see the sins against Christ that I have done not really caring that he died for me or that he rose again. Thank you Megan thank you so much.” “He will always be there for you to lead and guide you. You were always his child, now you have just come home. Now I have breakfast ready and waiting. Have a seat Miss Alice and I shall serve you as Christ served us.” “This evening, I will cook for you if that is okay. You have served me - tonight I wish to serve you.” Reaching out her hand she took Alice’s’ hand in her own, Megan said “it’s a deal, sister. Now we are sisters in the Lord.” Alice sat down in the same seat she had occupied the night before. She felt a new kind of love surrounding her. She felt a need to serve. Alice silently asked God what he would have her do. Megan said, “Alice after breakfast, you and I are going shopping. I want to buy you some new things to go to church in.” Alice replied, “Megan you don’t have to do that. I am sure on waitress pay you don’t have the money to do that.” “Alice I know I don’t have to but I have been blessed and am fortunate in God. I will share with you and it is something I really want to do. You are going to have to learn to accept the blessing of God willingly without guilt. Okay?” “Okay but you choose the clothing.” “I have no idea what you like so you will have to help. I will choose for you but you decide okay?” “Okay it’s a deal.” The breakfast was scrumptious. She had eaten wonderful food and gotten blessings from God since she had known this woman and she hadn’t known her even 24 hours yet. Again Alice thanked God for this new friend that he had sent to her. The two women ate and talked joyously about the day ahead of them. When they were fi nished, Megan let Alice do the clean up while she went to the living room. Megan got down on her knees at her couch and lifting her hands to Christ—praising him for letting her meet Alice and that she had the opportunity to bring another of God’s children back to him. Megan had tried throughout her life except that brief period when she was 15 - to be a successful warrior for Jesus. She felt that she had succeeded. Not everyone she had talked to about the love of Jesus had come into his loving arms but at least she had planted the seed of knowledge in them. She was of the demeanor that once a commitment was made you stuck by it. Her commitment to him had been made when she was 9 years old and she was now twenty-two, he had never left her or her him. Megan had never married and had only been with one man—but she had never found the right one. She felt about marriage like she did about the Lord. She wanted it to be right. If the Lord sent someone to her she knew the Lord would let her know. As she had learned the hard way to do—she waited on the Lord even in this matter. The two women drove to the mall. Alice’s thoughts were that when the Lord blesses he really blesses if they were going to buy her clothing at the mall. Wal-Mart would have been just as good for her. She was thankful though and would accept whatever the Lord had to offer. They fi nally found a parking spot that wasn’t too far away and went into Macy’s Department Store. Alice had only been in there a handful of times. She could never afford Macy’s. They went straight to the women’s section. Alice’s mouth dropped when she saw some of the prices on the clothing. She tried to tell Megan that this was too expensive but Megan just smiled and started searching for nice outfi ts for the other woman. “What size do you wear Alice?” “I don’t know, I have lost so much weight but I would think about a 12.” “Well let’s start with a12, you can try them on and we will go from there.” “Okay if you are sure.” “I am, I told you the Lord has blessed me. I want to keep receiving his blessings so I keep giving to others. So please just accept graciously and don’t worry about it.” “I will try.” Megan found a beautiful purple dress in Alice’s size and found a blue that she liked real well. She asked Alice if she liked them. Alice told her they were both beautiful. Megan said, “Let’s go over to the dressing room and you try these and we will go from here.” Alice replied with some concern that she just couldn’t shake, “Okay!” Alice tried them on and found they were a bit baggy. She smiled to herself. ‘I had always wanted to lose weight, look at me now.’ “Megan I think I will need a size 10.” “Okay, just put those back on the hangers and we will get the size 10. Do you like those or should we fi nd a different color?” “They look good. I love them both.” Alice came out of the dressing room and they went to get the size 10’s in the dresses. She tried them on and they were a perfect fi t. She looked in the mirror—really looked at herself—for the fi rst time in her life she was beautiful. At that moment she was fi lled with a confi dence she had never felt before. She closed her eyes again thanked Jesus for this wonderful blessing he had given her. She vowed to never turn away from him again. Alice opened the door to let Megan see her in the purple dress. Megan’s mouth dropped. She too could see the transformation in Alice. She hugged her and said “You are one beautiful lady. Put that back on the hanger. We will get both of those dresses and fi nd you a couple more and some pant suits—deal?” Alice had decided to just accept what Megan and the Lord were doing for her – “It’s a deal!” When the two left Macy’s they had an entire wardrobe with shoes for Alice. She had gotten four new dresses, three new pant suits with the shirts to go under the blazers, lingerie, nylon’s and shoes plus two nightgowns. She didn’t want to look at what it was costing her lovely young friend so she walked away as the items were being rung up. “You know tomorrow is Sunday, I would like you to go to church with me. My dad is the Reverend there and I would really love for them to meet you.” “I would love nothing more than to go to church with you.” It was well past noon so Megan stopped at Bob Evans for lunch. “Choose whatever you would like that is on their menu, Alice.” “Megan you have already spent enough money on me!” “I am doing it because I want to and besides you need me now and who is to say that I might not need you someday.” “True, but I just don’t feel right taking all this money from you.” “Alice remember I told you to receive God’s blessings graciously. Now would you stop worrying about it, please? If I didn’t have it I wouldn’t be able to spend it okay.” “Okay, I guess!” Alice replied in a voice that expressed her great concern. Alice wanted to eat light. She was planning on preparing a wonderful supper for Megan anyway but it wasn’t just that— Megan had spent enough money on her already. God only knew what the clothes had cost her. If she learned that buying this stuff and spending her money on Alice was putting a hard ship on her young friend, she would never forgive herself. Alice ordered a burger and mashed potatoes—it was the least expensive thing on the menu. Megan blessed the meal and the two women ate. “So what is your church like?” “Oh you know it is church. My father is the Minister and my mother the music director and pianist. To me the church is awesome. I have spent my entire life in the one church.” Alice couldn’t imagine that—spending one’s life in one church. Alice had never stayed in any church long enough for people to really get to know her, except of course when she was growing up. “Tomorrow will be an eye opening event in the church.” “Oh really? How will it be different from the norm?” “Well my father invited two speakers in. One had died and went to heaven, the other went to hell.” Laughing, unbelievable to this concept Alice replied “Just how did they do that and be here to tell about it? They have to be fooling your father to let that nonsense in the church.” Megan just smiled realizing that Alice couldn’t make the concept because she was a new Christian. Yes Megan knew that Alice had went to church most of her life—at one time had even accepted Christ—but she was still new. “You will see and then judge for yourself after you hear them speak.” “I can’t wait!” Alice replied with a hint of unbelief mixed with sarcasm. Megan let that slide off of her because of the knowledge that she concealed within. Alice would see tomorrow. They fi nished up their meal and started to head home. When they reached the apartment, both women grabbed the bags from the truck and carried them in. Alice loved the new outfi ts that Megan had bought. She didn’t know which she wanted to wear in the morning. She thought she would decide later. After hanging up her new clothes and putting her lingerie away, she went out to the living room to join Megan. “Megan listen, I’m sorry for being so unbelieving about the men that will be at your church tomorrow. You just have to remember, I have never heard of such stuff and it is weird to me.” “I know Alice. There was no offense taken. What book of the Bible have you often wondered about but never understood?” “That is an easy one—Revelations. I want to know about the end times and what to expect. Is it coming soon you think?” “Ok—tonight we will start the study of Revelations and yes I believe we are indeed living in the end times.” “Wow! Do you really think we are living in the end times? It would be wonderful to start in that book so I can fi nd out. Where do we start?” “How about we start at Revelation 1? We will work our way through from there.” “That sounds good to me.” “Alice, do you have a Bible?” Alice began to get tears in her eyes and replied “No, that is something else I lost when I lost my home.” “Oh, I am sorry. Well I have a few brand new ones right here at the house. I will give you one of those. We will have your name engraved on it and the date of your salvation next week, deal?” “I will never be able to thank you enough for all you have done for me.” Megan took Alice’s hands in hers. “Alice when I get to heaven—whether it is through rapture or death—and I see you there—that will be all the thanks that I will need.” Alice excused herself for the moment. She needed to go dry her eyes. She was happy and it was due to her new friend but most of all the new found love she had from Jesus. When Alice came back to the living room, Megan had gotten her a beautifully bound burgundy King James Version of the Bible. Alice vowed she would study it and live by it for the rest of her life. The biggest thing in her heart and mind was that she meant it. There would be no going back to sin—she had had enough of Satan. Now was the time to get serious about God. They began their study of Revelations. Alice soon realized that this would take her not only on a trip through Revelations but through Daniel, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Jeremiah and a lot of the New Testament books as well. Megan began to read: “Revelations 1 - The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he went and signifi ed it by his angel unto his servant John: 2 Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw. I want you to realize Alice that God gave John these visions for the tribulation period. He wanted to warn his church (the Christian people) of what was going to happen.” Alice nodded her head in acknowledgement. 3Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand. This is telling us that even in the day of John which was about 54—68 AD. This was the time of great persecution for Christians and God wanted us to stand fast in our Christianity and not waiver. He wanted us to know the consequences if we did waiver and fail him when the time drew near for the second coming. John was speaking to the seven churches in the fi rst chapter, telling them to be ready. 4John to the seven churches which are in Asia” Grace be unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come and from the spirits which are before his throne; 5And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the fi rst begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, Here John is speaking of Jesus, the only begotten son of God that died on Calvary for our sins. He mentions the fi rst of the begotten dead because Jesus was the fi rst to ascend into heaven. 6And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen 7Behold he cometh with the clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen. John is painting us a picture of Jesus coming in the clouds and how every eye will see him. Then - later on as you will see it—every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. 8I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.” Alice broke in to Megan’s narration “I keep thinking to the beginning when you said this was a vision of John—if this is a vision then how do we know it will really happen?” “In the Bible you will see that God gave visions to his disciples and prophets. God does not give a vision that he would not intend to fulfi ll.” “Oh this is going to be scary.” “Not if you are saved by his grace and fi lled with his Holy Spirit. If you have accepted Jesus as the only son of God the father and believe that he died and rose again—then you will have nothing to be scared about.” “Okay let me learn what it is all about then. Teach me!” 9“I John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ. 10I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet. 11Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the fi rst and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea. 12And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks. The seven candlesticks are the seven churches. 13And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. 14 His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as the snow; and his eyes were as a fl ame of fi re; 15And his feet like unto fi ne brass, as if the burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters. 16And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp two-edged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength. 17And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, ‘Fear not; I am the fi rst and the last: 18I am he that liveth, and was dead; and behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. 19Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter; 20The mystery of the seven stars which thou sawest in my right hand, and the seven golden candlesticks. The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches: and the seven candlesticks which thou sawest are the seven churches. John had Jesus to come to him in a vision. Jesus was showing him what is to come. The fi rst chapter in Revelations as you can see is dedicated to the seven churches. He is talking directly about them. We will stop here for tonight and read chapter 2 tomorrow.” “It sounds very interesting; I can’t wait to dig further into it.” “Revelations is an awesome book, it can be scary as you said but yes it is interesting as well.” “Well I am going to go start supper for you. Remember tonight I serve you!” Megan put her hand to her forehead in a solute, “Aye Aye Captain” she said with a grin. Alice retreated to the kitchen glorying in her new found faith and friendship. They had stopped at the grocery earlier after they had eaten at Bob Evans and Alice got some chicken and rice. The dinner would consist of fried chicken, rice, and carrots with rolls. For desert she was making a chocolate cake. Alice went about cooking humming a tune she had sang in church years before and was surprised to know the words were coming to mind, just as if it hadn’t been 30 years since she sang the song. She was praising Jesus while cooking. Wow she was learning that no matter where you were or what you were doing Jesus is worthy to be praised. She set the table for the two to get ready to eat and then called Megan to the table. “It all smells delicious, Alice.” “I hope it tastes as good as it smells!” Alice said with a smile. The two gave thanks for the bounty of God’s blessing and love. As they ate, they talked about the book of Revelations and Alice told Megan what she knew about it. “I had always thought that Revelations was a metaphor that was talking about hell and damnation of the earth. I never realized that the earth was going to come to an end literally.” “Alice when we really get into the studies of Revelations; I will show you that the earth is really going to end. I am also going to show you a timeline in the scriptures and compare to what is happening today that will prove to you the end is very near.” “What is the end going to be like Megan?” “I would rather show you throughout the studies with the proof from the word of God. But what I do know is I—as a Christian—do not want to live through it. I want to be caught up with Jesus in the rapture and be long gone from this earth before despair and desolation come.” “It is going to be that bad, huh?” “Probably it will be worse than anything we can imagine!” “I don’t think—just from hearing this little bit from you— that I want to be here either at the end!” “Alice don’t just think—you need to know that you won’t be here at the end!” “So how do you know?” “You already accepted Jesus as your Savior, now you just need to live the life of a Christian, seek God daily through prayer and the reading of his word and then lead as many souls to him as you can.” “It’s that easy?” Megan chuckled “No honey, it is nowhere close to easy! The hardest thing a sinner has ever tried to do is to live a Christian life.” “Why is it so hard for a sinner to live a Christian life?” “Living a Christian life after sinning is hard because Satan has a stronghold around you that he doesn’t want to let go of. You belonged to Satan for so long and then he lost you to Christ. Satan doesn’t like to lose. Now that you have accepted Christ, life will be hard with the obstacles that Satan throws out in front of you but it will be easy because of the blessings. Do you kind of understand what I am telling you? Satan will try to make war on you but through prayer and vigilance on your part Jesus will win the battle.” “My mother always told me something like that. I am for Jesus and Satan needs to go away and just realize he’s lost.” “No Christian has peace from Satan until Jesus has them with him in Paradise. You need to understand that.” “I do understand, I know I will have to fi ght Satan every day of my life but with Jesus as my anchor, I will win the battle in the end.” “I know you will and I will be there too to help you in that fi ght.” “Thank you Megan, you don’t know how much you mean to me already.” “You mean a lot to me too Alice and I will vow to see you through this.” “Thank you!” Megan and Alice fi nished eating and even had a piece of the chocolate cake while they had been talking. Megan told Alice that she would clean up and for her to go fi nd the outfi t she wanted to wear to church tomorrow. Alice went to her room to see which one she would wear. She was glad to get off a minute by herself. She wanted to think about the conversation at supper tonight and talk to God about it. CHAPTER SIX The next morning—Sunday—dawned bright but cool. Alice awoke with an excitement she hadn’t felt in a long time. She had a song in her heart—Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. She had talked for hours last night with Jesus. She talked to him as if he were her best friend. She talked to him of her past, the present and what she would like to do in her future walk with him. She felt as if the answers were coming as soon as she could ask a question and she knew that Jesus was right there in the room with her. She jumped in the shower, quickly and got dressed for church. She didn’t know what lay in store for her this morning but she knew if she persevered with Jesus she would receive a blessing. Megan had been up for a couple of hours already and had coffee made and pancakes. She noticed the new bounce in Alice’s step. She looked so beautiful this morning in her purple dress and black heels. It wasn’t only the clothing though—Alice had a shine on her face that told of a relationship with Jesus that she had not had before. Megan was very happy. Megan had on a light pink skirt and blazer with a rose pink blouse underneath. Alice thought how the color went with Megan’s already beautiful coloring. The two ladies grabbed their Bibles and drove to the Assembly of God that her father was a Minister to. It had been so very long since Alice had found herself in a church that she suddenly felt so much fear. She knew the roof wouldn’t cave in on her or anything like that but every time she used to go to church something bad would always follow in her life. Megan noticed the change in Alice. “Come on Alice you will be fi ne—I promise.” “It’s just that every time in my life when I have gone into a church, some tragedy would follow on the heels of it. I am scared Megan, what if bad luck hits me again because I went to church?” “Well, Alice when you went before to church—you went as a sinner that did not hear the Lord’s call or you heard it and failed to answer it. You were under chastisement. I promise you it will be different now. You are a child of the King and no harm will come to you again! Just have faith!” Alice slowly put her hand on the door handle, took a deep breath and pulled. The car door opened and she started to step out of the car. “Come on; let’s go now before I change my mind.” Megan smiled to herself and hurried Alice into the church. Alice noticed immediately upon entrance to the church the intricate beauty. On the wall behind the podium was a mural painting of Jesus showing in detail the nail prints in his hands and feet and the crown of thorns on his head. The baptism pool was in a room underneath this mural making the painting look as if Jesus was standing in the water. The opening to view the pool was glass with a wall enclosure on either side. In front of this were pews for the choir. Musical instruments were in perfect position on the platform with the Reverendal chairs covered in red velvet lined to three sitting to the right of the stage. The piano was a white grand that Alice would love to someday play. Across from the piano was an organ. The altar was lined with a scarlet silk with rails sitting on the stage before it. The carpeting in the church was immaculate navy blue. It looked as if the church could seat several hundred people in the pews that lined either side. Windows of stained glass depicting the story of Calvary lined the walls on either side of the sanctuary. Alice had never in her life seen such splendor. Sunday school had not yet started as Megan and Alice went into the church. Megan’s dad came immediately to Megan and welcomed Alice into his congregation. “Dad this is Alice Donaldson, the friend I told you and mom about. Alice this is my father, Reverend Ron Moore.” Reverend Moore put out his hand to shake Alice’s hand. “I want to welcome you to Rochester Assembly of God.” “It is nice to be here and to fi nally meet Megan’s father. She is such a wonderful person, I am not quite sure where I would have been if it had not been for her.” “You are a child of Christ now, Alice. Your past is left behind all you have now is a future in serving him.” Mrs. Moore walked up. “Alice, I would like for you to meet my wife Linda Moore, Megan’s mother” said Reverend Moore. “It is so nice to meet you Mrs. Moore.” “You are welcome to our church home Alice.” “Thank you so much. I have never felt so welcome in my life anywhere.” Reverend and Mrs. Moore went to the front of the church to begin the dismissal for Sunday school. The song leader whom Alice had not met yet led the congregation in a song to start Sunday school. “Jesus is the Rock of my Salvation, Hosanna blessed be the rock, blessed be the rock of my salvation.” Reverend Moore came to the podium “Let us dismiss for our separate classes with a word of prayer. Father, Our God in Heaven, You see in the hearts and lives of every soul here. You know their needs. Father release their minds to you this day so the fulfi llment of the Holy Spirit can take control and that they may be in your presence throughout Sunday school and the service. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.” The congregation dismissed for their separate classes and Alice followed Megan. Alice realized as soon as she entered that she was probably in the wrong class but Megan told her to stay. The Sunday school teacher’s lesson was on life’s lessons and how to deal with them, which Alice really did need to hear. “This morning’s texts are taken from Proverbs 3.” The Sunday school teacher said. Megan interrupted “Before you begin Ms. Ellis, I would like to introduce the class to my friend Alice Donaldson; she is a new sister in Christ.” Ms. Ellis said “welcome to Sunday school Alice, we hope to help you along in your new journey with the Lord.” “Thank you, Ms. Ellis. I am very pleased to be here.” Alice replied already feeling the blessing of the Lord surrounding her. “Okay class, today’s lesson takes us into the book of Proverbs chapter 3 and we will be reading verses 1- 8.” Ms. Ellis told her class. “Alice, would you care to read?” “Proverbs 1 verse 1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: 2 For length of days and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee? 3Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4So shalt thou fi nd favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man? 5Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. 8It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.” “Thank you, Alice” Ms. Ellis said. “Class this in part is telling us to put our faith in the Lord wholly. Verse 5 tells us to trust in the Lord with all thine heart. Sometimes life’s problems get in the way and we are expected to trust in him. But what do we do when he doesn’t answer when we think he should or when we are in a desperate spot and we might lose everything before he answers?” Alice thought how this lesson was something that was so close to her heart that the Lord must be in this. She paid very close attention. Hadn’t she lost it all and right at the last minute, the Lord stepped in. She hadn’t been a believer until two days ago but yet he had saved her life. Ms. Ellis told a story of a man who was drowning in sin but the Lord had rescued him from the darkness and gave him back tenfold what he had lost once he became a Christian. Then she told the story of a child of God whom had prayed and prayed but no answer came. She thought the Lord had forsaken her. She waited 21 days and at the very last possible moment her prayer was answered. It wasn’t answered in the way she wanted it answered but in the way the Lord wanted to answer it. She found that God gave her an even better blessing than the one she had asked for. “Dealing with life’s daily problems is not easy and sometimes as a Christian it’s even harder because Satan is always right there to put a knot in the line. But if you continue diligently in prayer and thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father, Satan cannot win. Remember he is under our feet while our God is the Master of all.” Ms. Ellis told the class. “Okay our time is up for this morning, Sister Megan will you dismiss us in prayer?” “Oh, our Heavenly Father, we thank you for this wonderful blessing of your word and we honor thee oh Lord for the bounty of your wisdom. Thank you for all who are in class this morning and we pray that each and everyone receive the blessing our Lord has to offer as we go through the week ahead. Again I thank you Lord, in the blessed Holy name of Jesus, Amen.” “Next week we will look at what Proverbs 3:9—18. These talks about discipline God can deal out to his errant children just as an earthly father would. Study this and be prepared next week.” Class was dismissed and Alice could not help but feel that God was setting every lesson for her to hear because everything pointed to what her past life had been. She and Megan went to the sanctuary for what would be the church service of a lifetime for Alice, for she received the Holy Spirit and the blessings of the Lord where about to poor forth in more abundance than she believed possible. The service opened with a welcome to all of the guests. The praise team began to sing praises and songs Alice had never heard but fi lled her with a longing for more - none the less. “Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary and Hallelujah” praises rang throughout the building. Arms were lifted in praise and Amen’s being said everywhere. She had never felt the presence of the Lord like she was feeling him today. The fi rst of the two guests were introduced. Reverend Moore introduced “The author of ‘The golden streets’ Ralph Wheatman who actually died and saw what Heaven has to offer. Please make a warm welcome to Brother Wheatman.” The speaker came forward and shook the hand of Reverend Moore. “Good morning!” Brother Wheatman began, “Isn’t it wonderful to be in the house of our Lord? To feel his presence as strong as it is felt in here this morning is an added blessing. How many here have often wondered about heaven? Does it really look the way it is described in the Bible? Well let me tell you it looks exactly like it is described. There is a beauty there that you can never imagine down here on earth. Such beauty no one on this earth has ever been seen. I have had a fi rsthand experience with what heaven looks like and I want to share it with you today. “Eighteen years ago, I was serving our country in Desert Storm over in Iraq when shrapnel from a stray bullet hit me. The shrapnel punctured my heart and went through my left lung out my spine. I was pronounce dead immediately. The Chaplain was called to pray over my deceased body. Now I want to let you know, I had served the Lord for ten years before this happened so I was prepared to meet my Savior. I had a wife, two sons and a daughter back in the states and I really didn’t want to leave them but it seemed the Lord was calling me home. The time I was legally dead was 20 minutes. During the time I was “dead”, it seemed as if my spirit was fl oating above me. I looked down and saw my body lying there. Blood was everywhere; I heard them call for the Chaplain. I felt like a magnetic force fi eld pulling me. I began to move up away from my body. Now I want to let you know that in the midst was a bright light. I went through this light and standing before me was a gate. The most beautiful gate I had ever seen. It wasn’t large by any means. In fact it was small only large enough for one person to enter through it at a time. In the Bible it talks about the gates of pearl. I am here to tell you that the gate of pearl is the most beautiful pearl you can imagine. I walked on through this gate and stepped onto streets that were made and lined of the purest of gold, on either side where the houses!” Everyone in the building was giving rapt attention to this speaker. He was marvelous. The details were so specifi c that Alice could imagine just what he had seen. She had never thought such a beautiful place could exist either in heaven or in earth. Alice had always heard of the beauty of heaven but this was beyond her wildest imaginings. “Now these houses were like no other house that I have ever seen on this earth. They were all mansions, not just a little mansion either. Each house looked like it would contain a thousand rooms. They were glorious. I could not get enough of looking at them. The architecture was like none that had ever been on earth. I walked along these golden streets looking and admiring these homes, while wondering which one God had for me. As I walked on I saw in the distant a mountain. Off of this mountain there was a river of water that fl owed but it curved at the foot of the mountain going to the outer limits of the city. The light that surrounded this mountain was the whitest, clearest of lights. I in my short life had never seen another to even be able to compare it to. Sitting in the midst of this light was a man on a throne. He held up his hands and I could see the nail prints. I knew I was in the presence of Jesus. The music was so glorious; you could hear the harps, pianos and organs all playing in perfect harmony. The voices were angelic beyond description. All of a sudden the noise changed and I was back in my body. The Chaplain was singing ‘Lord, I’m coming home’. I wanted to tell him so bad that I had already been home. I didn’t want to come back. When I opened my eyes, the Chaplain jumped back. He began yelling that I wasn’t dead and they needed a stretcher right away. The medics loaded my ravaged body on the stretcher and took me to the Army hospital. I had shrapnel pulled from my body and many, many surgeries hat lay ahead of me. After six months in the Army hospital, I was shipped back home to America. I often would ask God, ‘Why did you send me back?’ I would tell him how I didn’t want to come back; I wanted to stay in his presence. It took me almost two years to realize God sent me back to tell my story. I have scars and Army records to prove what I am telling you. It is only by the power of the Almighty that a man can be dead for 20 minutes and then be raised. Remember Lazarus? I felt like Lazarus being raised. Today if you don’t know him—would you come? Don’t miss out on what heaven has to offer. I promise—if you travel the world over—you will never see the beautiful sights such as heaven has. Thank you.” Reverend Moore came back to the podium and shook Brother Wheatman’s hand again. “Thank you Brother and God bless you.” Brother Wheatman sat down in one of the chairs that were on stage. Reverend Moore began to speak. “I don’t know about you all but I don’t want to miss out on heaven. We have another guest here who went to hell. She wants to tell you what that was like. Then I want everyone to search their hearts and decide—Do you want heaven or hell and if you were to die right now—which would it be for you? Let’s all make welcome Sister Tina Bishop author of the best seller ‘Gates of Hell’!” Sister Bishop came forward and shook the hand of Reverend Moore. “I want to thank you for having me Reverend!” “We are glad you are here.” Stepping to the podium she began to speak “I am glad to be here this morning in the midst of all of God’s love. I want you to know—I wouldn’t have always welcomed this opportunity. I am basically a new Christian only knowing the Lord for about 8 years now. I was a rebellious person and didn’t want anything to do with Christianity. I thought it was all a ridiculous and Stone Age belief. I didn’t believe in heaven or hell or that there was a God or Satan. I went to the bars and drank until I would pass out. If you offered me something to make me high I would take it. I shot up as well as smoked m*******a. I took prescription pain pills and snorted cocaine. I did it all. I didn’t want to feel so I would stay in a state of numbness all the time. I slept with this man and that and fi nally became pregnant. I killed my child, not through abortion but through drug addiction. I was six months pregnant when my baby was born. I was high on cocaine and had overdosed my baby girl. I felt such despair and the only thing I had to turn to was more drugs and drinking. About three months after her birth—I myself overdosed on a mixture of cocaine, h****n and loratab 30’s. I died that night. Unlike Brother Wheatman—I was alone—in an alleyway beside the dumpster that I would be sleeping in that night. It almost felt like a dream when I felt my body lifted up. I opened my eyes to a dark demon like creature picking me up. He carried me through the darkest tunnel—darkness like no other. When he sat me down, I was on a very, very hot concrete fl oor with bars all around me. Inside with me were two of these dark demons, only they had grown in size. The size looked to be over twelve foot and they were pacing around me as if waiting for me to try to escape—only there was no escape. I was waiting to be taken to the dark depths of hell, waiting for Satan’s judgment to see which level I would be placed on for all eternity. After what seemed like hours, a man came for me. He was a deep black with skin like a lizard and the body of some animal that I could not quite distinguish. He led me to level one telling me all the deeds of evil I had done in my life. On the fi rst level there was a pit and in this pit a man was hanging as if on a cross but fi re was burning all around him but yet he would not die. Yes, people - the body goes to hell not just the spirit. Maggots were crawling all over him. When a maggot crawls on meat, it will eat until it consumes all of the meat and then it dies. In hell you can’t die so maggots are eating at you for all eternity. Each and every level continued to get worse. Snakes and maggots, fi re all around. The smells are terrible, it smells like sulphur coming out of the ground continuously mixed with burning fl esh. At the last level was a room and sitting on his throne was Satan himself. He was the only beautiful thing in hell. He was the most handsome of men but he had a ram’s horn that adorned his head and his fl esh was red with skin of a lizard. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach I wanted to leave but I knew I was destined to be here forever. I began to do something I had never done in my life—I cried out for God. As I was crying out—I could feel pain - actual pain. I knew I had not died—I just felt that I had. My body was lying next to the dumpster. As soon as I came to—I remembered what I had just been through. Right then and there I got on my knees and crying out to a God that I didn’t even know—I was saved. I got myself immediately into a church and got off of the drugs and alcohol. I know I was forgiven for all of my sins. God chose me to talk about where I had been, where I had went and where I am today. Thank you and God bless.” Reverend Moore came back to the podium and giving her a hug thanked her for fi lling us with this wisdom. “What a portrait of hell was just painted. I pray that if there are any here that are unsaved or maybe you have backslidden away from Christ, would you come forward and receive Jesus today. Don’t wait because tomorrow may be too late.” Alice immediately went forward; she didn’t even have to think about it. Alice told Reverend Moore that she wanted to make it known that she had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior two nights ago. She wanted so much more of him. She and the Reverend with several members of the congregation, Megan included, prayed her through. Alice could feel her body being lowered to the fl oor, her eyes closed and hands lifted in praise—she began speaking in tongues and was fi lled with the Holy Ghost. On the ride home from church Alice could not get over the experience she had just had. She felt like she was in the presence of God. She could feel his love surrounding her. Oh what a blessing she had received this morning. She couldn’t wait for the next service. Megan was content to just let Alice glory in the Lord. She did not speak, just continued to drive to the apartment where she knew Alice would continue to praise and glorify the Lord! Alice hummed hymns for the rest of the day. Later that evening Megan asked if Alice wanted to get into Revelations study some more and of course Alice was ready to do it. Alice wanted to learn everything in the Bible and at that moment committed herself to doing just that. She would read and study from Genesis to Revelations. She was going to diligently seek the Lord in all ways and serve him for the rest of her days on earth. Megan got the Bibles and both women opened up to Revelations 2 Megan said “In this chapter John is seeing the vision of the seven churches. The fi rst one is Ephesus.” She began to read: 1“Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; 2I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: 3And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted. 4Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy fi rst love. 5Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent and do the fi rst works’ or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. 6But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; to him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God. As you can see in these seven verses, the church of Ephesus did what they thought they should do but they left what really mattered behind them—their fi rst love—which was Jesus Christ. They thought by good deeds and being good they could make it into heaven but you have to love the Lord with all your heart fi rst and abide by what he would have you do. Now he moves on to the church of Smyrna. 8And unto the angel of the church in Smyrna write; These things saith the fi rst and the last, which was dead, and is alive; 9I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan. 10Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried’ and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. 11He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches’ He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death. Here John is telling the church they have some sins this is why they have to have tribulation for ten days. But they will be welcomed into heaven and will not suffer the second death of hell and damnation. Now let’s see what he has to say about Pergamos. 12And to the angel of the church of Pergamos write: These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with the two edges; 13I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where Satan’s seat is: and thou holdest fast my name, and hast not denied my faith, even in those days wherein Antipas was my faithful martyr, who was slain among you, where Satan dwelleth. 14But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrifi ced unto idols, and to commit f*********n. 15So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate. 16Repent’ or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fi ght against them with the sword of my mouth. 17he that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth shaving he that receiveth it. When John’s vision was telling the church of Pergamos to repent for what they had done—he was telling them that if they did then their name would be written down in glory in the Lamb’s book of life. But listen to what is in store for the church of Thyatira: 18And unto the angel of the church of Thyatira write: These things saith the Son of God, who hath his eyes like unto a fl ame of fi re, and his feet are like fi ne brass; 19I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the fi rst. 20Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou suffers that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit f*********n, and to eat things sacrifi ced unto idols. 21And I gave her space to repent of her fornications; and she repented not. 22Behold, I will cast her into a bed and them that commit a******y with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. 23And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts’ and I will give unto every one of you according to your works. 24But unto you I say, and unto the rest in Thyatira, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of Satan, as they speak’ I will put upon you none other burden. 25But that which ye have already hold fast till I come 26And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations; 27And he shall rule them with a rod of iron, as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers; even as I received of my Father. 28And I will give him the morning star. 29He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches. We will stop there tonight. I don’t want you to have to take in too much at once. You will see that Revelations is one of the deepest books of the Bible and one of the hardest to study and understand. Alice asked “Who is this Jezebel person they are speaking of?” Megan answered, “Just as it said she proclaimed to be a prophetess but yet she was sinning by having many different men that she would sleep with. God does forgive this sin, but with Jezebel she was a lamb in wolf’s clothing because she tried to foretell what God had planned but yet she sinned against God everyday without asking forgiveness. It is better to sin and not know God than to know him and sin without forgiveness. “This is really awesome stuff with truths that come straight out and tell you like it is. That is scary. If you aren’t a Christian than you have a hard road ahead.” “But see Alice there are a lot of sinners out there who refuse to believe anything in the Bible. They think it is just another book written by man. Some don’t even believe in Jesus. Then there are some people that think he was just another prophet.” “What can we do Megan? I know we can pray! But how can we get the word to these people?” “Well Alice that is why we have missionaries and preachers. It tells us in Isaiah that toward the end of time knowledge will be increased. In the 1940’s we got television, so the gospel was spread through that. A lot of people in the third world countries didn’t get television until even up into the 1980’s. There were also poor people here in the US that couldn’t afford television. Then in the 1990’s computers became available in every home. More people in the world had computers and internet in the 2000’s than television. The gospel is now spread through internet. Again Isaiah’s prophecy became fulfi lled as far as the increase of knowledge. Look at the way the world is today. School shootings, children disobedient to parents, they have no respect. This is something that again started in the 21st century. Social Services came in and started telling parents how to raise their children. Discipline became a crime. In the word of God it says to spare the rod and to raise the children up in the way they should go that from there they shall never depart. You can’t do that anymore because of the Government. All of this has been prophesied many centuries ago. If we could just get the word out to people and make them see that the end is very near, we would have a wonderful society of Christian fellowship, but alas, this is the way it is meant to be according to his word. He says that not all will receive him. It is sad but this is the way it must be. All we can do is bring as many into his fold as we can.” “What do you mean the end is near? What does that mean?” “Alice—Jesus will return to this earth. This is what the book of Revelations is all about. You will see as we study further into it. The end is the end of this world. Jesus tells us in Matthew that there will be wars and rumors of wars, plague and pestilence, weather changes, disobedience, father against son and mother against daughter. Let’s examine the wars and rumors of wars fi rst. In Matthew 24:6 Jesus says ‘And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that ye be not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.’ Toward the end of time there will be many wars and rumors of more wars to come. Since WWII we have been at war with this country or that country.” “But that is just the United States being at war with so many countries” “No countries are either wanting to have war or constantly talking about it. It is not just the US. All of the Middle Eastern countries are always trying to have a battle with Israel—God’s chosen people. Look at the battle over the Gaza strip that has been going on for many years. Once Israel actually goes into battle with Magog which is the country of Russia, the end is very near.” Alice said “so when Russia and Israel go to war, the world will end?” “Not immediately. When war is declared on Israel there will be a seven year peace treaty with them. I know that sounds contradictory but Russia will lose the war, and it won’t take long for them to lose, and then a peace treaty is signed. Once this treaty is signed all the saints of God on earth and in their graves will be resurrected up in the rapture to be with Jesus forever. 1 Thessalonians 4:16 tells us ‘For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an Archangel, and with the trump of God, all the dead in Christ shall rise fi rst’ this is telling us the souls saved that have gone on—who died—will rise out of their graves to meet with him in the air. Verse 17 says –‘then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.’ This is what the Christians call ‘the rapture’ or the church or saints of God.” “So if you aren’t a Christian—what happens to you?” “In the study of Revelations we are doing, you will learn what happens. I will tell you there will be more pestilence and plague, the Anti-Christ soon takes over, you will have a choice—either to take the mark of Satan—the beast—and have money, food, whatever you need but then damn your soul to hell or to be a warrior for Christ. Life will not be pleasant on earth for you—if you can live through to the end—but you will then have eternal life with Jesus.” “Wow!” Alice exclaimed in awe of the contemplation of that situation. “I am sure glad I accepted Jesus. But you really mean people will be able to still accept him after this ‘rapture’?” “Yes they will! As I said our God is a loving God. Just as he will not leave his people here to endure the tribulation—he will give the sinners another chance to accept him. He won’t make it as easy then as it is now and it is so much better to accept him before the rapture. You will see in Revelations 6 that there will be seven seals— these are his pleadings for you to come to him. In Revelations 11 there are seven trumpets—these are his warnings for you and in Revelations 16 he sends the bowls. These will happen quickly and there will be no more chances to receive him after the bowls. Within days or weeks his coming again for the fi nal war of Armageddon is imminent.” “This all sounds so terrible!” “For those who receive him not—it is the worst time imaginable.” “You have me wanting to go on and start on these other chapters. I want to fi nd out what is going to happen.” “It is interesting and it is scary but know this Alice—as sure as you and I are sitting here face to face talking about them—they will happen and I will show you how soon if you want.” “Of course I want you to show me this.” “In Daniel 9:24—27 it says: ‘Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to fi nish the transgression, and to make an end of sins, and to make reconciliation for iniquity, and to bring in everlasting righteousness, and to seal up the vision and prophecy, and to anoint the most Holy. Know therefore and understand, that from the going forth of the commandment to restore and to build Jerusalem unto the Messiah the Prince shall be seven weeks, and threescore and two weeks: the street shall be built again, and the wall, even in troublous times. And after threescore and two weeks shall the Messiah be cut off, but not for himself: and the people of the prince that shall come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary; and the end thereof shall be with a fl ood, and unto the end of the war desolations are determined. And he shall confi rm the covenant with many for one week: and in the midst of the week he shall cause the sacrifi ce and the oblation to cease, and for the overspreading of abominations he shall make it desolate, even until the consummation, and that determined shall be poured upon the desolate.’ This was one of the visions seen by Daniel about the end times. The seven weeks is talking about the seven year treaty with Israel. The fi rst six of these seventy weeks have already happened—they ended with the birth of Christ. The seventh of these seventy weeks is upon us that he speaks of. In today’s terms and mathematically it adds up like this. It will be 69 years from the time that Israel is once again declared an independent nation for the Lord to return. Israel became an independent nation again on May 14, 1948. 1948 plus 69 is 2017 minus the seven year tribulation is 2010, that was last year so it could happen at any time. There will be a whole lot of people that are left and wondering what just happened.” “That is scary but now I am going to be watching for him to come.” Alice proclaimed. “You know what, I am too.” “But” Alice asked, “How do you get 69 years out of 70 weeks?” “Each week to our Lord and Savior is like 1 year. The fi rst of the last of the 70 has come and gone. That leaves us with 69 years from Israel becoming a nation to get ready for the appearing of Jesus.” “Wow, you said Revelations would be deep and revealing, but some of the other books of the Bible are just as deep it seems.” “Yes they are!” Alice and Megan said their prayers for the evening and lying down fell asleep. CHAPTER SEVEN For the fi rst time in as long as she could remember Alice was waking up happy. She didn’t know what today would bring or if tomorrow would even come but she knew that the Lord would be there with her to see her through no matter what. She told Megan that she was going job hunting today while she was in class and that’s just what she did. After class Megan had to go to work so Alice felt she had all day to do what she needed to do. Alice went to several places using her bus ticket all day for transportation. She landed the best job she had ever had - working for the city at the dispatch offi ce. She was indeed very happy! That evening after Megan got off work- Alice had a delicious meal of barbeque spare ribs, corn, green beans and mashed potatoes fi xed for the two. Alice then told Megan of her job fi nd and that she was to start next week. “They have to do a criminal background check on me but I will pass that with no problems. A lot of things have happened in my life but becoming a criminal wasn’t one of them.” “I don’t want you to feel pressured that you have to go to work, Alice.” “I don’t feel pressured but I want to get back out there working and making a life for myself. I want to eventually get my own apartment and a car. You don’t know what you have done for me already, Megan! You have given me a reason to want to live. Maybe I will be able to get back some of what I lost with my kids and everything. I have been earnestly praying about it and I want to be back having a relationship with them more than anything.” “God will let that happen. It may not be immediately but I promise if it is his will it will happen.” “I know and I trust in him for all of my hearts desires.” Alice hugged Megan and told her that she was the most wonderful friend that she had ever had. While Megan was doing her homework, Alice began her study of Revelations the third chapter. She learned about the Angel talking to the church of Sardis and how there were a few of them that would walk with Jesus in a robe of white. Then it talked about the church of Philadelphia and how they had kept his word. These were the true saints because they did everything they were supposed to for God. Alice wanted to be like them, she just prayed she would be able to hear his voice and know what he was saying to her. She was through making bad decisions now she wanted to do what God sat before her to do. The church Laodiceans were neither cold nor hot and God said he wished they had been one or the other and because they weren’t he would spew them out of his mouth. It just seemed Alice couldn’t get enough of his word. She wanted to live by it and trust in him every day. Megan fi nished her homework and asked if Alice had any questions on what she had studied. Alice actually understood everything; could it be that God was giving her a sense of understanding? She just wanted to pray that she would walk in his word and never fail him. When they got up the next morning, rain was pouring down. Alice said “Megan I can’t wait to start my new job. It is going to be so exciting working with the police and fi re departments.” “I would say that it probably will be. Alice you are going to be tried and tested in this job, you know that right.” “I really didn’t think about it but I can see that I probably will be.” “You will hear a lot of things through your calls and probably in the dispatch room that you won’t want to hear.” “How can I overcome all of it if it starts to get to me?” “Pray every day before work and during work and then God will not let it get to you. You will be able to handle anything as long as God is there with you.” “He will help me too, I know. Oh Megan, I know that once I get back out into the world, it’s going to be hard.” “I will be just a phone call away and if you keep coming to our church, they will be there too.” “I have to keep coming there, that is where God wants me to be right now. I would like to get baptized next Sunday if they will.” “I will call dad and tell him. You know that baptism is a big step? It is telling everyone that you intend to live your life for Jesus and that’s what Jesus expects you to do too.” “Megan I have committed myself already to follow him in all things. I want everyone to know that I will live my life for him.” “I will ask dad if he can baptize you then this Sunday.” Megan replied and went to the phone to call her dad. When Megan had completed her call, Alice asked if she might be able to try and get a hold of her kids, maybe they would come to. “Alice you can use the phone anytime you want to, I have no problem with that. Go ahead and give them a call. I hope they will come.” Alice was nervous as she began that fi rst call to her oldest daughter. She called her because she had always been the one that was most receptive to her besides the youngest boy. She would call him after she had called the others so they could chat awhile. Alice dialed the number for her daughter, Sarah. Sarah answered on the third ring “Hello?” Alice was so nervous she couldn’t speak right away. She was so happy to hear Sarah’s voice. Now she was on the phone with her, what should she say? She didn’t want to just call to invite her to the baptism. She wanted to talk to her. Oh God why had she not prayed for the words before she called her. Sarah said again “Hello, if you are not going to answer I am hanging up. I don’t have time for this.” Alice said, “No, please don’t hang up!” “Mom? Mom is that you?” “Yes Sarah, its mom!” “Where the hell are you?” “Sarah please don’t curse, I am okay. I needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice.” “Well what man did you run off with this time? We all fi gured that you left with someone you didn’t know and that he probably killed you by now.” “No Sarah—I am not with a man. I have met this wonderful woman who has helped me so much.” “Who is she? I guess you have either gone lesbian now or accepted someone else that you will call your daughter now just like you always do.” “Sarah you have every right in this world to think those things but it is neither of those. Megan is a girl I met when I was homeless. She was a waitress and she took me under her wing.” Sarah snickered “how can a waitress take you under her wing, what does she deal drugs or something?” “No she doesn’t. Sarah - listen to me please and stop making assumptions. I know what I used to be like and that is what landed me in a homeless situation. I was ready to commit suicide and then I met Megan. Megan is a Christian and her dad is a Reverend at the church. I gave my life to the Lord—Sarah and I am going to be baptized on Sunday. Will you come?” “Huh huh? You go from one extreme to another mom and you haven’t even told me where you are so I don’t know if I can come or not.” “Sarah I am right here still in Lexington. You can come to the church it is not that far from your house.” “Well I will think about it.” “That’s all I can ask is that you think about it.” “Okay and mom I am glad that you are alright.” “Have you heard from Jessie, Allen or Rachael?” “No and why don’t you ever ask about Julianna?” “Because I just fi gure no one has heard from her.”       “I    did!    Yes    mom    she    called    two    days     ago.” Alice covered her mouth to silence the scream of surprise. It had been fi ve years since anyone had heard from Julianna. “Oh my God! Is she okay? Where is she?” “She’s fi ne mom. She married and you have another grandchild.” “Oh, Sarah please come to church Sunday and see if Julianna will come with you.” “I doubt she will but if I decide to come, I will ask her.” “Sarah, I love you! I promise you this is real in my life and I will not go back to my old life.” “We’ll see! I know how you are mom, you will go back. You will probably go back to Michael too. You can’t stand being away from him for long!” “No Sarah you are wrong and I haven’t seen Michael in months and have no desire to see him.” “Like I said mom, we’ll see!” “Yes Sarah you will. I will get off here for now and I don’t think Megan will mind if you call me on this line.” “Mom, I love you and I really have missed you.” “I love you Sarah and I have missed you too.” Alice hung up the phone and turning to Megan had tears falling. Megan asked “It didn’t go well?” “She doesn’t believe that I will stay with the Lord. She doesn’t trust me at all. She heard from Julianna a couple days ago and I have another grandbaby.” “Well she will see that you are true in your faith. Don’t let anything waiver you from it. Congratulations on the new grandchild. Is she coming to church Sunday?” “She said she didn’t know if she would or not. I told her to ask Julianna to come too.” “The Lord will work it out Alice just be patient and abide in him and he will give you your heart’s desire. I know that having your kids around you is your heart’s desire.” “Yes it is.” Alice took a minute to just bow her head and cry out for God to give her strength. She picked up the phone to call Jessie. Several rings and she got no answer. She left a message for him. “Jessie—it’s momma, call me please at 859-555-5555. I love you son.” ‘Oh God this one is going to be the hardest of all to call’ Alice thought as she dialed Rachael’s number. Again she received no answer and left a message. “Rachael, it’s mom! I know you probably don’t want to hear from me but honey I just wanted to say, I am sorry that I helped to make things so bad for you in your life. If I had been the right kind of mother to you and been there for you things would not be as they are now. I just wanted to say I love you. I know you probably don’t believe me but I do love you. Someday God will put us back together. I am getting baptized this Sunday and I wish you could be there but I know you can’t travel to Kentucky. I just wanted to tell you this. Okay! Call me if you want to at 859-555-5555.” The last call was the easiest one she would make because Allen was easier to talk to. He listened more. She dialed his number. He answered on the fi rst ring. “Hello?” “Allen - its mom.” “I know I just talked to Sarah, she said you would be calling me. How are you mom?” “I am okay now! I met a woman who has helped me and I am not homeless. She taught me how to look at life a lot differently than I was doing.” “Yeah Sarah told us. You know how Sarah is; she called us all at the same time and put us on speaker phone.” “Well then you know I am getting baptized Sunday—can you and Becky come?” “Yes mom we will be there.” “Did she talk to Jessie and Rachael too?” “Yes.” “Well what did they say?” “Jessie said he won’t be able to make it.” “I know Rachael can’t make it but what did she say?” “Mom you know Rachael, she still thinks that you are the one that called Social Services on her. I don’t want to tell you what she said.”       “I      didn’t      call     them     and      you     know     that!” “Yes we all know except for her. I really think Michele has put a lot in her head to keep her believing that you did.” “Well what did she say? You might as well tell me!” “She said that she hopes the preacher hits your head and knocks you out and that you drown!” Alice eyes began to blur with the unshed tears and the knowing what her baby girl actually thought of her. “God will forgive her for saying that Allen. I know at the moment she really feels like that but I swear I didn’t do anything to her.” “Mom no one has to do anything to her and you know that. Please don’t take to heart what she said. You know that is just Rachael and she has always been like that.” “I know—we will pray for her soul!” “So are you and Becky okay?” “Yes we are and you are going to have yet another grandbaby. Becky is due in August.” “Son - maybe you and she should go ahead and get married and not wait until June.” “We want her to fi nish school Mom—you know that.” “Yes but you have a baby on the way now! But you do what you want too.” “Okay, I love you mom and I will talk to you later!” “Okay and son you can call the number that came up on your caller ID.” “A number didn’t come up mom.” “Well it is 859-555-5555.” “Okay, got it and I will call you later.” “Okay, good bye for now.” “Goodbye mom.” After Alice hung up the phone she sat and cried. “Why God did you give me this beautiful wonderful daughter that hates me so much?” Alice cried out to God. “Please dear Jesus, change her. Change her to see that I do love her and I didn’t do the things that she has accused me of. I know I was never a good parent, and I did a lot of wrong but God the one thing I really didn’t do she accuses me of and hates me for. God help us please to have a relationship again.” Megan watched the misery in her new friend and she too prayed that God would intervene and give her back the one thing that her heart desired the most—her children. That night as Alice lay down she prayed for God to hear her cries. Her children meant everything to her and the only thing that mattered more was her faith in God. CHAPTER EIGHT It was so hard to believe that another week had passed. Tomorrow was Sunday and the day that Alice’s life would really change for the better. She was to be baptized. She knew her life had already changed but now she would proclaim it before everyone of the people that would be present tomorrow in her new church home. Alice and Megan had studied in Revelations all week and Megan had explained more about the end times to her. She found it all fascinating but scary. She was so glad if for no other reason than the threats of what was to come according to Revelations, that she had given her soul to Christ. Sunday Morning dawned bright but cool. The two women dressed for church. Alice packed a bag of clothes to be baptized in. After each grabbed a cup of coffee and a donut they headed out the door for services. Alice was so nervous this morning. She didn’t know if it was because of the baptism or because she would get to see some of her kids -which ones she did not have a clue. Alice knew that no matter what happened today with her kids she would still hold her head high and be proud to be a Christian. The routine for this Sunday was about the same as last Sunday. After Sunday school, Alice went into the sanctuary. Looking around she didn’t see any of her children. “Oh, God’ she prayed, ‘please let them come!” The church service began with the singing and prayers and still her children had not come in. Megan rubbed her arm and hugged her telling Alice that it would all be okay—she would see. Megan had gotten Alice’ children’s numbers on Thursday and called them herself to invite them. Then she had called her dad. Megan wanted to surprise Alice and this was going to be her biggest surprise yet. Reverend Moore fi nally took the podium and made the announcement that Megan was waiting for. “Sister Alice Donaldson—I would like you to come forward please.” Alice looked at Megan questioningly. “Go ahead it’s alright.” Megan told her. When Alice had reached the podium Reverend Moore told the congregation that Alice had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and later that morning would be baptized. He asked Alice to say something about where she had been and where she was now. Alice began to speak telling the congregation of what had transpired in her life. Amazingly God had given her the boldness and she was not in fear of any of this. She spoke as if she had been speaking to people all of her life in this manner. “My only regret is that today—one of the most important days in my life—none of my children are here to receive this blessing with me.” She fi nished. She turned to walk off the platform but looked at Reverend Moore for guidance and he wrapped her in his arms. Then bringing her back to the podium said “Alice there are some people here who desperately wants to see you.” Alice threw her hand to her mouth and began to cry, she knew Megan had somehow gotten all her kids to be there. Coming out from behind the closed door to the right of her was all her children, their spouses and all her grandchildren. The pressure on her heart felt as if it would explode at any minute. She was so happy she was shaking and crying and laughing at the same time. There was Sarah with John, Billy, Stephanie and Amy. Next Jessie and then Alan and Becky came out. The last ones to make an appearance and the biggest surprises of all were Julianna and Rachael. Oh my God that was the most wonderful surprises of all for Alice. She felt her heart was bursting with love. Julianna had a man and a child with her that Alice did not know but Alice sure knew that beautiful baby girl that came out with Rachael. Baby Jose sure had grown since Alice had last seen her over a year ago. Jose was now almost a year and a half old. She was a beautiful baby. Julianna handed her baby to Alice and Alice took the hand of Jose, with the other grandchildren surrounding their Nana - the tears came uncontrollably. Stepping up to the podium holding her newest grandchild Alice tried to begin to speak. “This besides the day I accepted the Lord as my Savior has been the best day of my life. To my kids I want to tell each of you—Jessie, Sarah, Julianna, Rachael and Alan—no greater love have I ever felt in my heart than the love I feel at this moment. Children I feel and take total responsibility for your lives being in the shambled array they have been in. If you will let me then from this moment on—I will never let you down again. I know it is too late to be the mother to you that I should have been when you were growing up. I know we can’t turn back the hands of time. I just beg you to give me the chance so we can go forward from this day on. Thank you Megan, Reverend and Mrs. Moore for this wonderful gift you have given me this day. Most of all thank you Jesus for answering my diligent prayer.” When Alice had fi nished speaking there was not a dry eye in the whole church. Little did Alice know but she had another surprise after the service for her! Reverend Moore stepped up to the podium and began to speak as Alice with her children and grandchildren went back to their seats. “With that I pray my sermon will have the same effect. Isn’t God good? Amen! My daughter met this lady about two weeks ago. She was in the total depths of despair. She had no job, no money, was homeless, her children wouldn’t even speak to her and she was ready to end her life—look at her today people. Our sister is glowing in what God has done in just two weeks time. He saved her, gave her children back to her, she has a new job that starts tomorrow and put her in a church family that loves her. Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus for this sister that you have brought back to us. After the service this morning Sister Alice has asked to be baptized and become a member of our church. Let’s all welcome her!” The church clapped and shouted Amen’s! Several people got up and came to shake her hand or give her a warm hug. They shook the hands of her children and hugged them as well welcoming them to the family of Christ. As for Alice, she wanted to get the baptism going and get somewhere so she could talk to her kids. Oh how wonderful this was. She hadn’t had all her kids in one room together in many years and this was the most awesome of experiences. Megan had done so much for her that Alice felt if she lived to be a thousand she could never repay this kind woman or her family for all of it. The service went on as Reverend Moore was teaching on the beatitudes. Alice could listen to him teach all day but she really wanted the service over with today so she could be with her children and grandkids. “God forgive me!” She silently prayed. “I should not want to be anywhere but here in your house. Thank you, God for bringing my kids back to me.” She managed to sit through the service after her prayer with ease, taking in every word that Reverend Moore was saying. The service began winding down with the invitational hymnal ‘Just as I am, without one plea, and that thy blood was shed for me and that thou bidst me come to thee oh Lamb of God I come, I come’. Alice could not keep the tears from running as Megan said, “Alice let’s go to the back and get you ready for the baptism.” Each child of hers hugged her and to Alice’s amazement and joy each one said, “I love you Mom!” Oh yes no other day in her life could ever compare to the day this had turned out to be so far! Again she said, “Thank you, Jesus!” So that morning Alice was baptized in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost. When she arose out of the water, she was a new person in Christ Jesus. She began to speak with the tongue that was fl owing with the Holy Ghost acknowledging the power of his name. After service was complete and she had dried up and got her Sunday clothes back on, she and Megan went back to the apartment to await her children who were going to meet them there. As they stopped the car, she noticed the man standing by the entry way to the building. She knew him at fi rst glance even though it had been 30 something years since she had seen him. He had the look of getting older with some graying in his hair and lines around his eyes and mouth. He was still as handsome as he had been 30 years ago if not more so. This was another surprise Megan had in store for her this day. Glen Palmer—her fi rst love—the one who had been there throughout her pregnancy with Jessie—was awaiting them in the doorway. Alice looked at Megan and asked “How did you do all this?” Megan said that she had called the kids and after talking to Sarah invited all of them for this Sunday to her home. Sarah had called Rachael and told her that Megan was going to fl y her in. Julianna had planned to come with them anyway as soon as Sarah had told her what was going on and both the boys had also planned to come. As for Glen Palmer—as soon as Alice had told her about him—Megan had started her search to fi nd him. God did the rest. “Now it is up to you to take what God has given you and make it right.” Alice replied, “I can never thank you enough for what you have done. Make it right—I will but I need you still for a while to help me ok?” Megan said, “I will be right here and besides this is where you live—neither of us are going anywhere for now!” Alice tears falling again whispered, “thank you Megan!” Megan said “Now go for it, girl. Snatch him up this time and never let him go. He’s a Christian and equally yoked to you now. This was God’s plan in the beginning. Let him have his way.” Megan told the children who he was while Alice went and spoke to Glen. It had been so many years and neither of them knowing quite what to say just stared at each other for a minute. “Glen?” Alice asked. Glen said “Yes, Alice it’s me. It has been a long time.” “Yes it has. Come let me introduce you to the kids.” After the introductions all of them went to Megan’s apartment. Alice spent most of the time with her children. They were her top priority. She learned that Julianna’s husband’s name was Timothy Radcliffe and they had been married for three years. Their baby is Robert Timothy. Alice grinned at the thought of Billy not being the only grandson anymore. Oh the jealousy, she loved it! Little Bobby had been born in November of last year. All the kids had photos and demanded her time. Amazingly all the kids accepted Glen and gave their mother their blessing. Could it be that maybe they too had grown? Megan kept Glen occupied because after the children left she knew that Glen and Alice needed some time to get to know each other again. Megan could see that the love for Alice had never left Glen as he watched her every move nor had it left Alice. These two were made for each other—not only as Megan could see—but she knew in God’s eyes as well. Today Alice was the happiest person on this earth. Nothing could have stopped this happiness in her. She had her kids, her grandkids; she had been baptized and in the other room sat the man that she had loved all these years beyond reason. What more could she want; nothing that she could think of! Julianna and Rachael were going home with Sarah that night with plans to visit with their mom tomorrow evening again and maybe spending all day Saturday with her. That was fi ne with Alice. She loved her kids with all her heart; these wonderful beautiful kids that God had given her. Again she thanked God for today’s blessings. As the kids began to leave—she kissed each one in turn. She told them she loved them so very much. She had had such excitement in her day today that she was nearly exhausted but now she needed time to talk to Glen. CHAPTER NINE Glen had never gotten married. His whole life had been centered on the music he played so he could ease his mind from the girl that he had left behind over 30 years ago. Glen had never forgotten her. He thought she was happily married and had no idea she was going through the turmoil that it seemed her life had taken. His mother had passed on several years back and he had remained alone. Yes he had had girlfriends but never could he bring himself to marry any of them. Indeed he still loved Alice. “Alice - if you will give me the chance, I would like to start seeing you. Let’s see if we can make it right this time around.” “I would love that Glen.” Alice replied. Glen left about an hour later with the promise to call Alice tomorrow. Alice and Megan needed to get their Bible studies done and go to bed. Alice had to start her new job in the morning and was already worn out. Alice felt that today had been a dream. She knew it was real but it was so perfect, nothing in her life had ever been perfect. Alice said to Megan “You know I am just waiting for the bomb to fall tomorrow. Nothing ever stays this perfect in my life!” Megan replied “If things were perfect in your life all the time—you should worry. Honey things do not stay in perfection—you will have many ups and downs. There will be more tears in your life, more heartache but you will also have plenty of joy now and not just a complete streak of pain. Give it all over to God and let him lead the way.” Alice said, “Megan, when I fi rst met you, you said for me to tell you about my life and then you would tell me about yours. Will you tell me now?” Megan felt that Alice had come a long way from where she had been so yes now would be a good time to tell her the imperfections that she herself had. She began “All my life I have been raised in the Church of God with my dad as the minister and mom the music director. Always did I have someone from the church that was around me? I went to school and had to be a Christian. I couldn’t do what all the other kids did because most of it was ungodly. That was frowned on in our household. I always had to dress a certain way, act a certain way. As a child, I didn’t mind this too much it was the way it was supposed to be, the way I had become accustomed. By the time I hit Junior High school I wanted to be like the other girls were. I wanted to dress like them and act like them. See Alice I haven’t always been ‘perfect’” She said with a grin. Alice was in awe of this. “I could never see you in the light you are starting to paint. I see you as always being a child of Christ.” Megan said, “I have always been a child of Christ but I strayed. He didn’t let me get far though, thank God! Some friends at school introduced me to my fi rst “joint”. I had never smoked even a cigarette not to speak of m*******a. But I can see by the look on your face you guessed it. Not only did I start smoking pot but I was smoking cigarettes and taking that little nip of alcohol whenever I got the chance. I was 14 when I started doing this stuff. Right before my fi fteenth birthday I met Earl. He was a college student at UK and I fancied myself in love. Oh it wasn’t a love like you and Glen had—it was more possessive than that on his end. He kept me supplied with the pot and when I was with him kept me drunk on the alcohol. This was the way he could do what he wanted to and I wouldn’t protest.” Alice said “How did you get out with him if your parents were so strict on you?” Megan laughed with a long past memory of her disobedience to God and her family. The stupidity she had done is now laughable but could have so easily not been. “I would climb out my bedroom window; leaving it unlocked so I could climb in when I got back. Earl and I hung out together at night until well after my fi fteenth birthday, that is when mom found out about me sneaking out to meet him and told dad. I was in some deep trouble! Dad forbade me to see him anymore and I was grounded for a month. That did not stop me. I started skipping school so I could see him. Then one day the school called home about my absences. Dad said that he would risk the scandal to prosecute Travis if he ever came around me again. I was determined to be my own person. Skipping school had not worked; I knew I couldn’t be late coming home from school so I started sneaking out the bedroom window again. Within about a week of going out the window, I was caught again. I do have to admit that dad tried everything to keep from prosecuting Travis but I just wouldn’t heed the warnings. Dad nailed my windows shut!” Megan began to smile at this memory. She hated her parents at the time for doing this to her, but now she truly realized the love they had for her to have went to these great lengths to keep her safe and her name clean. “You see my parents loved me unconditionally, just like you have loved your kids. It might take awhile but you will have a relationship with them again Alice.” “I pray to God you are right. Please fi nish telling me what happened next.” “Well I ran away!” Alice mouth dropped open at this new revelation from her friend. “You’re kidding! I couldn’t see you ever doing that.” “I did it alright. I ran straight to Travis. I was with him in his dorm the fi rst time he hit me. It was on the third day. I knew I wasn’t going to let this go on between us and told him so. He was all apologetic but then on the eighth day with him, he did it again. I, although nervous about doing so, called dad. Dad came to Travis’ dorm and picked me up. Travis was there and tried to prevent dad from taking me. Honest I can never say that I saw my father angry until that day. He grabbed Travis by his shirt and put him up against the wall. Dad told him that if he ever came within a hundred feet of me again that he would kill him no matter the consequences. I was in shock by this of course. Was this my Bible thumping father talking like that? I knew in that moment that a parent loves their child unconditionally and that my parents were no exception to this rule. I determined right then that I would never stray from God again and that I would make my parents proud of me no matter what—so far I have done a good job of keeping that promise to myself.” “Megan if I were your parent I would be more proud of you than you could ever imagine.” “I think I have succeeded with them too Alice. What do you want to study tonight - more Revelations?” Megan asked “Oh yes, I can’t get enough of that book and I truly want to learn what it is all about.” “Ok let’s get started, you have an early day tomorrow. Are you excited to be going back to work?” “Yes I am - I am very happy to be going back!” “Well let’s get started. You have read chapters 3 and 4 correct and studied them on your own?” “Yes but could you go over chapter 4 it seems a little deep?” “Ok no problem!” The two ladies opened their Bible to Revelation 4 “This chapter and chapter 5 is kind of an introduction from the throne of Jesus where he is assuming the responsibility of initiating the great fi nal confl ict between good and evil, heaven and hell. Revelation 4:1After this I looked and behold, a door was opened to heaven” and the fi rst voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking to me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter. 2.And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne. 3.And he that sat was to look upon like jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald. 4.And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment: and they had on their heads crowns of gold. 5.And out of the throne preceded lightnings and thundering and voices: and there were seven lamps of fi re burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God. 6.And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. 7. And the fi rst beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a fl ying eagle. 8.And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him: and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. 9. and when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth forever and ever, 10.The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth forever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, sayin, 11.Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory, and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Here is verse 1 I believe John saw the rapture of the church—the true believers in Christ. Where it says ‘come up hither’ he is calling his people home. The descriptor in verse 3 of Jasper and Sardine stone is describing the features of God himself. Since no one has ever seen the face of God this is describing the blinding light that surrounds him and his throne. The four and twenty elders in verse 4 are the angelic order serving Christ. I believe it describes the 12 tribes of Israel and the 12 apostles. In verse 5 it talks of thunder and lightning—In Revelation this always marks an important event connected with the heavenly temple. The sea of glass in verse six is the basin in the heavenly temple, which in comparison to the earth is the sea. The other features of the temple are the lamps and altar of prayer, the altar of incense, and the Ark of the Covenant. Later on in Chapter 11 verse 19 it talks of the four living creatures—these are the exalted order of angels whose task is to guard the heavenly throne and lead them in worship and adoration of God, they are covered with eyes so nothing escapes their attention. Book 5 also describes what John saw in Heaven in his vision; 5:1And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside sealed with seven seals. 2And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, who is worthy to open to the book, and to loose the seals thereof? 3And no man in heaven, nor in earth, neither under the earth, was able to open the book, neither to look thereon. 4And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon. 5And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not” behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. 6And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth. 7and he came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne. 8And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation; 10And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth. 11And I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the beasts and the elders” and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands; 12Saying with a loud voice, worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, ad honour, and glory, and blessing. 13And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb forever and ever. 14And the four beasts said, Amen. And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshipped him that liveth forever and ever. In chapter 5 you are seeing the Lamb which is Jesus is the only one able to open this book—which is a scroll—with the seven seals. As we get into chapter 6 and beyond you will have a better understanding of what all this means. Are you confused yet, Alice?” “Actually chapter 5 was really easy to understand; it is chapter 4 that was confusing. I think God is giving me an understanding of his word.” “He will do that, the more you read it every day the better your understanding will be.” “I can see that. Well if it is ok with you—this day has been exhausting, I think I will get my shower and go to bed. I have an early day in the morning.” “I can take you to work on my way to school if you like.” Megan offered. “Oh, that would be great! Thank you so much for today Megan. It will live in my memory forever.” “You are welcome Alice. Goodnight!” While Alice showered she thought of all the good that had come out of today. She silently prayed “Oh Heavenly Father don’t let Satan ever steal my joy again. Surround me with your presence and keep me in your will. Amen.” After she got into bed, she lay there once again thinking of today’s events and prayed again—falling asleep while talking with her Lord. CHAPTER TEN It had been so many months since Alice had been in the work force that her fi rst day was actually very overwhelming. Today they were training her on the 911 system. She met a lot of different people with different personalities. They told her the rules and regulations and the harassment code. One of the thing on the harassment code really bothered Alice but there was nothing she could do about it. You had to keep Christianity out of the work place. She knew that God had given her this position but as a new Christian she didn’t want to have a rule like this because she wanted to proclaim the name of Jesus to everyone around her. She silently prayed for God to be with her while she was at work and give her strength. There was one woman in particular that worked there that she wishes she could talk to of Jesus love. This woman was about her age with graying dark hair that she kept in a swoop on her head. The makeup she wore was ridiculous—dark blue eye shadow, black liner and mascara with a deep rich red lipstick. Her rouge looked as if it had been painted on. She was a little over fi ve foot nine and weighed probably a hundred and forty pounds. Her outfi t clung to her as if she had to squeeze her body into it. It was just vulgar. There was nothing Alice could do about it so she decided to ignore the woman for the most part. Alice didn’t want to think badly of her because she didn’t know her but upon hearing the fi rst words from her mouth— Alice cringed. Such vulgarity, even in her days of not being a Christian, Alice would have been embarrassed to use. She talked about going out getting drunk after work and told what she and her boyfriend had done the night before—in great detail. Alice planned to speak with the supervisor about it. If she couldn’t represent the Lord then this woman should not be able to represent Satan. Alice made it through her fi rst day and asks to speak with the supervisor when her shift was over. Mr. Hanley was a short balding man with a dark beard and mustache. He was not overly plump, he was extremely obese. He had worked for the city’s emergency system since he had been eighteen and he was now almost sixty. Alice couldn’t comprehend someone being in one job for that many years. He was a pretty nice guy and Alice, who didn’t want to make a complaint on her fi rst day, but felt she needed to— knew that he would listen to her and help if he could. “Mr. Hanley, I am so sorry to bother you with something that might be petty to you but the woman Jeanine, I am greatly offended by her. You see I am a Christian, a very new one at that and her manner of dress and language is greatly offensive to me. Is there anything you can do to help me?” “Ms. Donaldson if you can tolerate it through the training, I will put you at the centralized location. We can’t do anything about Jeanine because she is the Mayor’s niece. I am so sorry but she actually offends me as well. I too am a Christian and would prefer another environment. I am going to retire in another two years so hopefully—if she doesn’t hang herself with this job fi rst—I can tolerate her until then.” “I see! Did the Mayor site the rules of us not being able to bring Christianity in here? If she can bring the work of Satan, why can’t we fi ght it with the armor of God?” “I can fully understand where you are coming from, believe me I have addressed this issue several times with my supervisors. There is nothing we can do. She was appointed into her current position by her Uncle and our hands are tied.” “I will pray about it and hope the Lord will give me some guidance. I pray he will forgive us both for out having to be subject to her sacra religiousness.” Alice said. “I will see you tomorrow Ms. Donaldson and I do feel for you. Really I do and I wish there was something we could do but there isn’t.” He told Alice with a grave look of understanding and concern on his face. “I will see you in the morning!” Alice said as she turned to leave his offi ce. Alice prayed while waiting on the bus to come—“God give me strength to hold on to my beliefs and give me an opportunity to be a witness for you to this poor lost soul.” Alice heard the fi rst rumble of thunder ten minutes before the bus was due to arrive. She moved over to wait in the shelter. There was a woman sitting there also waiting for the bus. This woman when she looked up, Alice realized was Jeanine. She had mascara running down her face as though she had been crying. “Are you okay?” Alice asked. Looking up through the tear rimmed eyes Jeanine said rudely “Yeah, I am fi ne! Hey aren’t you the new girl working in dispatch?” Alice replied that yes she was the new girl. “Look, I get on a row with my talk and I don’t think about it offending someone. I had such a terrible thought that stayed with me throughout the day about my language. I don’t know what it was but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I might be offending you. If I did I am sorry.” Alice smiled to herself knowing that God had answered her prayer even before she had prayed about it. This was her opportunity to be a witness to this woman. Alice said, “Actually, it did offend me! I don’t mean to sound rude but I will be honest. I am a Christian and therefore I really don’t want to hear the stuff you were telling in there.” “Well pardon me for being such a b***h. I didn’t know you would be so blunt. I like having fun and some of the people in there want to know about my adventures with Walter!” “Are you sure they do—or do you just assume they do? Have you asked them?” “No I haven’t asked them but no one ever tells me they don’t want to hear it.” “I bet if you asked them you would get your answer.” “You don’t like me do you?” Jeanine asked. “I never said I didn’t like you. Look being so blunt is a new thing for me. You see, I am a new Christian and therefore you are the very fi rst person that I have had the opportunity to witness to. I was out in sin and I lost everything I had even my home. My fi ve kids turned their back on me. I was just like you. I found something better in my life and now I want to live for him and not be polluted with vulgarities.” “You know my Uncle is the Mayor and I could have you fi red!” “That’s okay if you do. I will still speak of the Lord and just because you have me fi red doesn’t mean I will stop witnessing for him.” “I am sorry! I really don’t mean to be so awful. I think I would like to talk to you.” Alice whispered a silent thank you to Jesus. “Look I would like you to come visit my roommate and I so can you just go home with me now?” “Yeah, I can go. I have no other place to go.” While the two waited for the bus to come, Alice told Jeanine a little about herself. Jeanine listened in amazement at how this woman’s life had been. “You mean because you knew God and did the things you did all this—what did you call it—chastisement—happened to you?” “Yes and I was in the rock bottom of my life but now he has lifted me up and I refuse to let anything bring me back down.” Just at that moment the bus pulled up and Jeanine changed her mind about going home with Alice. Alice told her good-bye and said she would see her tomorrow at work. “I am off tomorrow and Wednesday, but I will see you on Thursday.” “Okay, then and please think about what I said.” “I will and thank you Alice.” To Alice’s amazement the threatened rain that had sent her under the bus shelter with Jeanine—never materialized. On the ride home, Alice couldn’t help but keep the image of Jeanine in her mind. She knew this would be a long hard way to go with her because the unthinkable hadn’t happened yet to her. Alice decided she would leave it at the foot of the cross and in the capable hands of her God. She knew he would take care of this situation as he would many others that would come into her life. That night Alice spoke to Megan about Jeanine. They talked for hours and Alice fi nally realized that until drastic things happened in Jeanine’s life then she would not let go of the unchristian life she was now leading. “Lord!’ again Alice prayed, ‘I leave this all in your capable hands, just give me the strength to go through my days, deafen my ears Lord to anything I shouldn’t hear and make me a light for you. Amen!” Megan had fi xed some of her special spaghetti again which Alice devoured. She didn’t have money for lunch so had skipped it—choosing instead to read her Bible which to her was nourishment enough. After supper the two did a quick study in Psalms and after Alice spoke with all of her children - both turned in early. The next two days of training sped by for Alice. She really was enjoying learning the emergency system. It was also very peaceful without Jeanine working. She had spoken to her children every night this week and it was very pleasant conversations. She had also talked to Glen several times over the past couple of days. Her Saturday would be spent with the kids but Friday night she had a date with Glen. She could not wait for that date. It was like God was putting things in her life to take care of the past hurt. She had God on her side now and nothing could keep her from pressing forward and accomplishing what she should have accomplished years ago. If she could have foreseen the future her life would have been lived the way she was living it today and she would have never had the diffi culties life had brought these last few years. CHAPTER ELEVEN Thursday morning dawned cloudy with storm warnings for the Greater Metro Area of Lexington. She certainly hadn’t liked these dreary days before she was a Christian and that is something that hadn’t changed in her life. Storms were something that frightened her—not for herself but for her loved ones who had to drive in these storms to get to work. Alice, even though she was a Christian, did not fear death— she never had. The difference now was that she knew if she were to die, she would be in heaven with her Savior. If she had died in the life of sin she had been living in before than all of hell would have been waiting for her with open arms. Alice had two more days of training to be an emergency dispatcher. When she arrived at the dispatch center she knew something had happened. She could feel it in every nerve of her body. The dispatch room was scurrying around and talking to police and emergency medical personnel. This wasn’t just a regular everyday emergency but something bigger. Mr. Hanley motioned her to his offi ce. As he closed the door he began to tell Alice of the horror that had just taken place with one of their own. “Alice we need to pray now like we have never prayed before. Last night Jeanine’s boyfriend and some other men paid a call to her. She was r***d and beaten. She is not dead thank God but she is in intensive care at the hospital. They have the Mayor’s offi ce held hostage. They are demanding an airplane from the city with $500,000.00 in cash. It has to be delivered in two hours or they are going to start killing the offi ce people.” Alice had thrown her hand to her mouth to suppress the scream that was threatening to be emitted. “What do you want me to do sir?” “There will be no training class today as you probably guessed. I want you, and I will pay you for it—although it is against company rules—right now I don’t care, I want you to go to Central Baptist Hospital and try to talk to Jeanine and get her right with the Lord. I am a Christian too and that is one soul I don’t want us to lose to Satan. The Lord will let her live long enough to accept him but you must go now.” He told her. “Mr. Hanley, I am a new Christian and I am not sure what to say to her.” “Let the Lord do his speaking through you and you will be victorious, I promise.” “Can I make a call to my roommate? She will meet me there! She is a minister’s daughter and knows way more about leading souls to Christ than I will ever know.” “Use the phone here in my offi ce; make it quick, I fear she doesn’t have much time.” “I will be quick—I promise!” Alice placed her frantic call into Megan. Megan answered on the second ring. “Megan it’s me Alice!” “Alice is something wrong?” Megan asked. “Yes! Do you remember the woman I told you about at work?” “Yes I remember!” “Last night she was r***d and beaten by her boyfriend and some other guys that were with him. They have her in intensive care at Central Baptist. They don’t think she’s going to make it. Mr. Hanley wants me to go and talk to her and try to lead her to the Lord before she dies. I need you Megan. This has to be done right and you have to be there with me. Please Megan!” “Oh my God! That poor woman! Yes of course I will meet you there. Do you want me to come pick you up then we can go together?” “Yes! That would be great. I will tell Mr. Hanley that you are on your way.” “I will be there in ten minutes or less.” “Thank you, Megan!” Megan motioned for Mr. Hanley so she could talk to him in private. “My roommate Megan will be here to pick me up in less than ten minutes. She and I are going together up to pray for and talk to Jeanine. What room is she in?” “She is in the fourth fl oor ICU. You will have to fi nd out from the nursing staff which bed she is in.” Mr. Hanley told her. “I will do what I can for her.” “That’s all anyone can ask you to do! Thank you Alice!” Alice made her way to the lobby to await Megan. The storm was really starting to move in. “Oh Lord I pray let us be a light to you this day and keep us and our families away from the dangers of this storm Lord so that we might can accomplish for you on this earth what was meant to be accomplished. Lord if your will is to take us this day, and then Lord May we be with you in paradise. Let the life of Jeanine be held until your presence is radiating from her and your glory is shining through. If it is your will Father, God to take her this day then let it be Lord that she will be in glory with you! In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.” Megan pulled the red Nissan to the curb; Alice ran and got in as it had already started to rain. The two made their way to the hospital. Finally after what seemed like a forever journey they arrived at valet parking. The two women went inside to the fourth fl oor ICU armored with the cloak of Christ ready to do battle with Satan for the soul of Jeanine. As they arrived at the nurses’ station they learned that she was barely holding on but was actually lucid enough. The nurse told them it would not be long now; she had too many internal injuries to hold on much longer. Alice knew that the Lord was keeping her here because he wanted her soul and he was going to get it. Alice walked into the cubical that was Jeanine’s. “Jeanine, its Alice, remember me from work?” Jeanine shook her head in the affi rmative. “Jeanine, I want you to meet my roommate Megan. Megan this is Jeanine my friend and co-worker.” Jeanine’s eyes clouded with confusion and she thought ‘this woman just called me her friend; I have never had a friend before; not a true one anyway.’ Jeanine was able to speak softly and slowly because she knew her time was running out. Every word hurt to speak. She wanted to speak though it hurt so badly. She wanted to hear what Alice was going to tell her of the Lord for she knew this was why she was here. She was ready to accept him this day because she knew she would be gone by tonight. “I wish I had gone with you on Monday. I wish I could have heard what you were telling me then instead of the waste of two days. I might still be able to live if I had just listened to you.” “Shhh, Jeanine you can listen now. You don’t need to speak, save your energy okay. We will talk and you just listen.” Before they began to speak of Christ, they said a prayer “Father, you are in heaven, we know that you gave your only son to die a terrible death on Calvary. Lord give us the words that we need to speak to bring your daughter into Salvation with you Lord so that she will be with you when she takes her last breath. Lead us and guide us Father on this mission of your will, sanctify us to your glory, in the name of Jesus we pray and trust in your almighty power and word. Amen!” “Jeanine I have told you the kind of life that I have had’ Alice began, ‘and I want you to know that he loved me enough through it all to save me. He loves you too Jeanine no matter what you think you might have done, he still loves you. John 3:16 tells us that God so loved this world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will be saved. I know you know him Jeanine, now we just need to confess it and bring you back to him.” “Yes I grew up in the church so I do know him. I want him back in my heart. I want him to save me and give me everlasting peace with him. I want to be ready to die, I know I am going to anyway but I want to be with him tonight as I pass on. I want peace with knowing.” “Ok Jeanine you have just confessed to both of us that you know him. Do you believe that he died for your sins and that he arose from the dead?” Megan asked. Jeanine shook her head yes—her energy and life draining fast. Megan took Jeanine’s hand as Alice took her other hand. “Let us pray again, accepting him in your life Jeanine.’ Megan said ‘Father we come before you once again, honoring your name. Jeanine has confessed with her mouth that you died and rose again for us. Father, we ask you to come into her heart right now Lord and save her so that she will be with you in paradise.” When the two women looked up they could see the light of God’s love shining from the face of Jeanine. They could feel the life drain from her as her hands slowly slipped back to the bed. Her heart monitor fl at lined and Jeanine was gone to be with Jesus, of this the two saints of God were certain. “Thank you, Jesus!” Alice said. Megan mimicked her thanks to Jesus for the new life that was now his. They had made it just in time! Alice cried! She could not help the tears that were fl owing. They were tears of grief, tears of loss, and tears of happiness that she had been there to bring her fi rst soul home to the Lord. “Are you going back to the emergency center now?” Megan asked Alice. “Yes, I need to let Mr. Hanley know that we made it in time. Did you know that the Mayor and his staff is being held hostage by the men who did this to her? She is the Mayor’s niece.” “Oh no - I didn’t know that! That poor family! We must keep them in our prayers. I will call dad and inform him of what is happening!” They arrived in front of the dispatch center and Alice got out of the car telling Megan she would see her at home in just a little while. As Megan drove toward home, she prayed that God would give her friend the strength she needed to fulfi ll what lie ahead of her this day. Mr. Hanley saw Alice as she came off the elevator. He went out to her. “Did you make it in time?” He asked. “Yes, but just barely. She did accept the Lord and we prayed with her. She had such a smile on her face as she died that left no doubt in my mind that she saw the face of Jesus.” Alice said. “Thank God for that and thanks to you and your friend Alice.” “I am just glad we made it in time. You know Megan and I were holding her hands when she went on to be with the Lord!” “I am so glad she wasn’t alone when she died.” “I am too! What’s going on with the hostage situation?” “The city is trying to meet with the demands. So far no one has been killed that we know of.” “Well thank God for that! What do you want me to do today since there is no class work?” “I know you are not fully trained Alice but I need you today to help man the phones. We are having a tornado warning that has hit us, rain pouring down and hostage negotiations. In other words we are swamped so I really need you today!” “I will do the best job that I can for you, sir!” “That is all I can ask of you. Thank you again Alice.” “You are welcome, Mr. Hanley.” Alice prayed as she sat at the booth designated to her by Mr. Hanley. “Lord I am uncertain of what is expected of me here so I need your hand and knowledge upon me.” Throughout the rest of her shift the center offi ce was a blur of rapidness. So many things were going on at once. Alice put to use the skills she had been learning through the past week and automatically did the task before her. God had given her the strength and knowledge to succeed. Alice shift fi nally had fi nished. It wasn’t as bad as she had feared it would be. She had taken her share of calls when a tornado ripped the roofi ng off of the mall, a school had been hit and an apartment building demolished. There were some injuries but nothing fatal. Four hours after Alice’ return to work from the hospital, the hostage situation ended. Three people were dead in the Mayor’s offi ce and two injured, including the Mayor. The three men that had r***d and murdered Jeanine were successfully captured by the Lexington Police and the FBI snipers. Alice was exhausted! When she got to the apartment, Megan had supper fi xed and the table set. Tonight she had made a pot roast with potatoes, carrots and corn bread. Alice was famished and ate all on her plate and then some. Megan said “I know you have had a very exciting day but do you feel like some studying in Revelations?” “Megan no matter how tired I may be I want to study Revelations!” “Ok then let’s knock out chapter 6.” “Would you mind if I call my kids fi rst? I will make it quick. I just need to know they are ok!” “Sure that is fi ne. I will clean the kitchen while you chat with them.” Alice retreated to the living room calling each of her children. Julianna and Rachael were still at Sarah’s house so that was the easy call to make. They were leaving next Monday to go back to their homes; Rachael to Florida and Julianna to Montana. All the children were fi ne. Alan was the one with the news to tell. He and Becky had decided to get married next Friday evening. They wanted to know if my Pastor would marry them. Alice told them that she was sure he would love to. Megan came in to sit beside her for their Bible study just as Alice got off the phone. This was the highlight to Alice’s evening when they studied the Bible together. Alice had learned so very much through Megan’s teachings. “Ok you ready to begin?” “Yes!” stated Alice. “Ok in Revelations 6 we’re going to start getting into the trumpets. These are God’s way of begging his people to come in. He hasn’t had to start warning them yet. Revelation 6:1And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, “Come and see” 2And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow: and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering and to conquer. 3And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, “Come and see.” 4And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. 5And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third east say, “Come and see.” And I beheld, and lo a black horse: and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. 6And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. 7And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, “Come and see.” 8And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death, and hell followed with him and the power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with the sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. 9And when he had opened the fi fth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: 10And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?” 11And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellow servants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfi lled. 12And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; 13And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fi g tree casteth her untimely fi gs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind. 14And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places. 15And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains. 16And said to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb.” 17For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?” “Wow!” Alice exclaimed “now can you tell me what all that means?” “Hopefully I can. In verse 2 it talks of the white horse—many Bible scholars believe this to be Jesus. In verse 4 the fi ery red horse symbolizes war and bloodshed. Verse 5 the black horse is a symbol of famine and in verse 8 the pale horse symbolizes the ashen appearance of death. This is the four horsemen of the apocalypse.” “My mom used to talk to me about the four horsemen but I never understood until now what it meant.” Megan smiled big at Alice “See you are learning something.” She teased. “Yes thanks to you! In verse 11 the white robe symbolizes blessedness and purity. Verse 12 tells of the great earthquake to come which is when the moon will turn to blood and verse 13 says that the stars also fell. The stars falling is one of the signs immediately preceding the coming of Jesus! Remember when I told you about the seasons in Matthew that Jesus spoke of. He said you will not be able to know the winter from the summer. In verse 13 it talks about the green fi gs appearing in the winter and easily being blown away from that tree! How can this be if it were not the end—in the winter the trees have no leaves?” Megan looked at Alice to see the comprehension on her face. Megan smiled for she knew Alice had a handle on the coming events. “In verse 14 the sky rolls back and the mountains and islands shift. This is the wrath of the Lamb spoken of in verse 16.” Alice was in awe of the story being set out before her. She wishes they had more time to study but she did have to work in the morning. She asked Megan if they could go over this more in depth tomorrow since they were trying to hurry through the study tonight and Megan of course said they could. Megan had laid the road map that Alice needed to think about tonight though. CHAPTER TWELVE Tonight was the big night for Alice. She was going on the date with the man that she had loved for over thirty years. After work she would come home and get dressed in her most beautiful clothing that Megan had gotten her. Megan said she would fi x her hair and makeup. Alice gloried in her new friend who beyond any doubt Alice knew would be there for the rest of their lives. Alice continued to get ready for work. Megan drove her in and told her that she would be there a 4 to pick her up. Alice told her okay and thanked her friend. Alice was once again put on the emergency phones, not because of an emergency but because Mr. Hanley knew she was capable without full training and he needed her on them. She was thoroughly enjoying her job that God had saw fi t to give her and not only that he had made her good at it. Each morning before going to work, she would say a prayer for God to watch over her, lead her and guide her in the task that might be sat before her today. Today was no different. God helped her through all the tasks set out and she knew he had a plan for her. Mr. Hanley approached Alice and said “You know Alice; I have never had an employee that had never done this kind of work before to catch on as quickly as you have. We train because with people’s live at stake there is little room to mess up. You are doing a wonderful job and I appreciate you jumping in with both feet and doing a fi ne job. Yesterday your work was commendable and I thank you.” “You are welcome Mr. Hanley. I just pray that God stays with me while I do this job. I hope that I can fi nish the training also. I do need that.” “We’ll get around to it when the phones have enough operators’ on them that we won’t have to worry.” “Thank you for your confi dence in me.” As the day went on, Alice breezed through it. It could have been that she didn’t have any major emergencies that day and compared to yesterday the day was really slow. There was a fi re call she had taken for the West side of Lexington and a few car accidents. She had a child that was sick at school and needed an ambulance. To her all of this was minor but still an emergency. She handled it with an effi ciency of years of experience that she didn’t have. At the close of her shift, she closed her eyes and said “Thank you Lord for getting me through this day just as you have gotten me through all my life. Lord I have been too ignorant in your ways to realize the blessings that you were already pouring on me. When I wouldn’t listen, you fi xed it so I would have to and I thank you Lord for that. Thank you for bringing Megan into my life, thank you for this job, thank you for bringing Glen back and giving my wonderful kids back but most of all I want to thank you for dying on Calvary and saving my soul.” Promptly at 4pm, Megan was there to pick Alice up. She was nervous now! She hadn’t been on a date in a long time and this date was with Glen Palmer the man she had dreamed of for three decades. “Oh God get me through this and let me act in the way you would have me too.” She prayed. Alice didn’t want to eat any supper just in case that is where Glen was taking her. She sat and talked with Megan for a few minutes and Megan did encourage her to eat a little, just in case. So Alice ate a ham sandwich and had a salad. That would hold her until later. She took her shower and Megan fi xed her hair and makeup. She wore the navy blue pantsuit that they had bought a couple weeks ago. When Alice looked in the mirror, she saw a vibrant young woman, not the old one of a few weeks ago. If she didn’t know better, she would think that God had shed the years of turmoil from her life and made her sixteen again. Alice admitted to herself that she was beautiful for the fi rst time ever, yes she was beautiful. Megan had fi xed the natural curls in her hair in a fashionable hairstyle and applied makeup that was nearly invisible but brought out the shine in the natural beauty. A beige eye shadow that blended with the beige on her cheek bones set her face to a shine of abundant light. The lips were painted a cherry red which was the only true sign of any makeup at all. Yes for the fi rst time in her life Alice was beautiful beyond compare. She couldn’t wait until Glen arrived and received his fi rst look at her. She hoped his heart would pound with love the way she knew it had all of those years ago. By a quarter to seven, Alice was ready. She kept pacing back and forth. She couldn’t sit down for fear she would crease her outfi t. Megan smiled with the joy of watching her friend. She knew that Alice’s life had changed and not only did Alice have the outer beauty that the makeup had given her but a true beauty inside and out as well. God did everything with a reason and she believed she had located Glen so easily because of the plan God had for Alice. This relationship would work out without Alice working too hard to make it so. Megan said “Just be you Alice. He loved you all those years ago and I don’t think you would be going out with him tonight if he still didn’t have at least some of those feelings.” “I have that feeling too, isn’t it great? I am an old woman. I feel like I am back at the beginning of my life not nearing the end. I am so happy! I thank you and God for making my life right again.” “Alice I can’t take any of the credit for this. God led me to you for a purpose and it is only through me that he did his magnifi cent work in your life. You need to give him all the thanks not me.” “I do Megan, I thank him through the day and night for what he has done in such a short time but I thank you too because you didn’t have to listen but you did! That is what makes you such a unique person. Not everyone would have taken a chance on a homeless, suicidal woman they had just met in a restaurant. You took that chance though Megan and for that I thank you with all my heart!” “Well you are welcome!” Just at that moment the doorbell rang. Alice heart suddenly began to pound with fear and excitement. Megan looked at her and patting her on the arm said, “Calm down it will be okay. I promise!” Then Megan went to answer the door. The fi rst glance of Alice that Glen had took him back to all those years ago. It was as if time had stood still. Alice was more beautiful now than she had been when she was sixteen. He felt the love he had held all of these years come back in full force. His love for her hit him so hard and fast that if he had not been close enough to hold the back of the chair he would have been knocked down. He was not going to give anything the chance to snatch her from him this time. Thirty years of knowing Alice and loving her was plenty of time for a quick proposal so that would be forthcoming this very night. He loved her and he knew that she loved him. They both had wasted too much time and been away from each other for too many precious years. Glen vowed that he would never let Alice go again. He had let her go when she was sixteen because she was having another man’s baby. He thought the other man should have the chance at being the father to his own child. Glen had made the mistake of bowing out. He let the only good thing in his life get away from him. He refused to let her go again. Glen took her arm and led her out to the car. “I see you still are standing by the Cadillac’s!” Alice said nervously. “You remember that old car I used to have?” Glen asked in amazement. “Yes I remember everything as if it were yesterday. It is amazing that I sometimes can’t remember what happened yesterday but thirty years ago seem like yesterday when I think of you!” “Alice that is so sweet!” Glen reached for her hand. When their hands touched Alice felt the magic go completely through her. This touch sent chills up her spine and a heat so intense through the rest of her body. Yes she loved him in the truest meaning of the word. She had never stopped loving him. They pulled into Giuseppe’s Restaurant. This is the restaurant that she had loved coming to with him. Wonderful Italian cuisine and she loved Italian food. Glen loved this place as well. Glen was part Italian; he had been adopted as a baby to an American family. He held American values but kept his Italian love for that culture. With this came the love of Italian food. Alice thought I must get Megan’s recipe for the spaghetti, Glen would love it! She made a mental note to do just that. They were seated in a window seat toward the back of the room. A candle had been lit on the table to sit between them. They sat doing chit chat while waiting on the waiter. They both already knew what they wanted and Glen would make the order for them both. When the waiter came to the table Glen ordered the pasta dish they both had loved so much with garlic bread. Neither of them drank alcohol so they both ordered diet Pepsi. “It has been so long but it is like the years between have never been.” Glen told her. “I know how you feel. If I didn’t have a 31 year old kid and 4 others to remind me of time, I would honestly feel that time stood still all these years.” Alice replied. “You know I loved you back then? I never stopped loving you. I never married anyone. There were some girlfriends but I found myself always comparing them to you. I am being honest with you Alice, when I say, I fi nd that the love I had for you has never diminished with the years. Seeing you tonight just affi rmed the feeling I had Sunday when I saw you for the fi rst time in three decades. I still love you Alice Donaldson. I don’t plan on losing you again.” Alice had tears that were threatening to start falling. “I never stopped loving you Glen Palmer either. I think I could have been happy with Sam if you had not been there for me to fall for. I don’t regret my years with him because those years gave me fi ve wonderful children. What I regret is that the years were lost to us and those kids could have been yours and our love could have been fulfi lled and not lost to us.” “Alice that love was never lost. I vowed I would go to my grave loving you and this I still vow. There will never be another woman for me.” “Glen there never has been another man for me. Don’t get me wrong, I have tried to fi nd an equal love throughout all this time but it never materialized in anyone.” The food started to arrive at the table so the talk was put on hold for the moment. Alice was glowing with the knowledge that he had never stopped loving her. After the two fi nished eating, they took their beverage glasses and went out to the balcony. They stood watching the river fl ow; hearing the rush of the water as it washed over the rocks. The breeze was nice, not cool but not overly warm either. Everything was just right. The stars where twinkling in the night sky with a full moon to help light the world. Once again Alice thanked him for his plan for her life. Glen sat his glass down on one of the tables and wrapped his arms around her. He turned her around to face him and kissed her. This was the fi rst kiss they had ever shared. The magic was there just as it had been in the ride to the restaurant. Alice always wanted someone to kiss her that would send fi reworks off in her mind. At the touch of his lips on hers, more than fi reworks happened. An awareness of being close to someone, so close you became one, came over her. Never in all her years, even with Michael had she ever felt this way. Glen had tenderness beyond belief. Never would she have suspected the tender love he was showing her tonight. Glen moved back and walked her to a chair seating her on the cushioned pads that made the seat. He knelt down in front of her. Taking her hand in his he said “Alice, I lost you all of those years ago. I don’t want to lose you again. Our lives have taken different paths but the love remained. I know I have only been back in your life for less than a week, but that has given me enough time to know that my love has never died. I don’t believe yours has either. I didn’t buy you a ring yet because to be honest I didn’t know I was going to do this tonight. I had thought to give us a little time to revisit our love, but upon seeing you tonight, I realize I can’t wait to do this. Alice with all my heart, I dedicate myself to you. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?” By the time he was fi nished, Alice was crying so hard with joy that she could only shake her head yes. She fi nally managed to choke out a yes to him. “I love you Glen and always have. Yes I would be overjoyed to be your wife.” He raised her to her feet and kissed her like she had never been kissed before. Her love for him was overfl owing to the fullest. They fi nally left the restaurant and went back to Megan’s apartment. She was waiting up for them. Megan wanted to hear how this night had gone for Alice. When the two walked in the house—Megan didn’t have to ask if all went well, she could tell by the glow that was emitted from both of their faces. Glen said, “I can never thank you enough Megan for making that call to me. She has agreed to become my wife.” He put his hand up to waive Megan’s protest aside. “I know we haven’t seen each other in over 30 years but the love we have is stronger today than it ever was. I love her and we will be married as soon as we possibly can.” Megan hugged them both in turn offering her congratulations to both people. These too did not look their age tonight at all. In fact, they looked younger than Megan did. Did the Lord shed all those years away so they would be once again young and vibrant and have a new start together? This was a phenomenon that Megan had yet to encounter but happen it did. She was ecstatically happy for them both. One thing she had no doubt of was the love these two middle aged people shared. Glen took his leave of them after about an hour. He didn’t want to leave but in all appropriateness he had too. He promised that he would come by tomorrow while her children were there so he could meet them. Alice was suddenly in fear that with her marriage to Glen, would she lose her children again? She certainly had to pray for guidance. She talked to Megan of her fears and Megan assured Alice that the Lord would take care of it all. CHAPTER THIRTEEN The next morning dawned with the brightness of a new day. Her children were going to meet her and Megan at Jacobson Park for a picnic and just to spend some time together like they used to. She was nervous about telling them the events of last night and looked to God for guidance and the appropriate time to tell them. She feared that they would not accept this engagement to Glen as a positive thing in her life. She knew Sarah too well and Rachael as well. The boys she wouldn’t worry about— she felt they would accept any decision that she decided on. Julianna she was unsure of. Julianna had left home at 17 and had not looked back until recently. How would she feel about things? Only time would tell! “God give me the words to say to make them realize that this is indeed the man I have loved all these years and I need him like I need food to live. Help me Lord and please dear God give them an understanding mind that they are not losing me but gaining a man who will stand beside me and them as my husband and their step father. Thank you Lord.” Julianna and Timothy came to the table where she sat. Julianna gave her a big hug. “Mom I really have missed you. Tim and I have a surprise for you. We talked about this all week. We have decided to put our house up for sale in Montana—let a realtor handle it and we are moving back here to Kentucky.” Julianna told her mother. Alice hugged her daughter hard and said “Julianna that is so wonderful. I am happy. I have some news later though to tell all of you. I want to do it at one time so all of you know at once ok?” “Sure mom! It’s not bad is it? I mean I just came back home and I don’t want anything happening to you. You have to get to know Bobby; he is such an amazing little boy!” “I saw that the minute I laid eyes on him!” Alice smiled at how to her all of her grandchildren were amazing. “Mom Rachael wants to move back too. She’s afraid you won’t want her to after the way she has treated you.” “Julianna, my love is unconditional. Yes it has hurt. Every time one of you have talked to me disrespectfully or done something that you knew you shouldn’t do but did it to get back at me, it was like a knife going into my heart. Every time that knife would dig a little deeper. But I love you all; you are my kids, my life. Let’s all start fresh; we will wipe the slate clean ok? Just like God’s love wipes our slate clean when we accept him into our lives, I will forget all of the pain you all have done to me but I need you to forgive me for I was the cause of you doing it. God blessed me with fi ve of the most wonderful kids that anyone could ask for. I love you Julianna with all my heart. I love you all with all my heart.” Julianna and Alice had tears as a renewal of their bond made their love fresh. Julianna left to go speak to Rachael. After about fi fteen minutes, Rachael came over and hugged Alice. “Momma I love you too and yes I want to come home if you will let me.” “Honey, mommy never told you to stay away. Yes I want you home. I love you Rachael.” “I love you too mom!” At noon, Alice called everyone to the picnic table. It was time to eat. Megan had stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken and picked up three buckets of chicken. Alice had made potato salad. Sarah made baked beans and Becky had made a cake. They ate until they were all famished. After eating and chatting for a few minutes, Megan told the kids that Alice wanted to talk to them all alone so she was going for a walk. After Megan left, Alice told the kids she had something she needed to talk to them about. She began to speak, “You guys, you know I love all of you with all my heart, and so if you all don’t want me to do this, I won’t. Many years ago, after I had gotten pregnant with you— Jessie—but as you all know I wasn’t married to your dad yet—I had met someone at church. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant when I met him. He and I were in a way boyfriend and girlfriend. We never slept together but had a powerful friendship that also had a lot of love. He stood by me through the pregnancy—your dad didn’t even know it until he made me tell him. I was already seven months along by the time your dad found out. Your dad didn’t want to get married and eventually it was extreme duress and pressure from his mother that made him marry me. Neither of us wanted it. Jessie was three months old when your dad and I married in fact. I am getting off course here and I don’t mean too. After I had Jessie, many people in the church thought this man was Jessie’s father. He wasn’t but he loved you Jessie just as if you were his own. He never told anyone at the church the truth of who your father was. They only found out when I married your dad that Glen was not your father. Glen was there when I had you and he stayed until Sam told me we were going to get married. My heart was in such turmoil. I told Glen and he said as much as he didn’t want me leaving and as much as he loved us—you and me Jess, that Sam deserved a chance. It was the right thing to do. So I married your dad. Glen moved away within two weeks and I didn’t see him again until recently. I am not saying that I never loved your dad but I had loved Glen with a passion that I think can only happen once. I loved your dad if for no other reason than that he gave me all of you. You fi ve kids and of course my darling grandkids are the loves of my life. Glen and I have been out’ she wouldn’t tell them only once, ‘and he has asked me to marry him. Of course because of all the lost years we both want this as soon as possible. Now I want to know what you all have to say about all this!” Sarah always the leader was the fi rst to speak, “Mom do you know this man now? I mean he could have changed in all these years.” “Yes Sarah I know him. It is like the years in between have melted away. If you all have a problem with this, tell me ok. You guys are my world. I want you to meet him before you settle on a decision though ok?” “Is he coming here?” Sarah asked. “Yes he will be here in about a half hour. I wanted to give you time to comprehend what I am telling you ok. Please try to open your minds. I will be happy in my life with you guys but I will be ecstatic with him in it too.” The kids had many questions to ask and fi nally Glen arrived. He got out of the car and came straight for Alice. He kissed her on both cheeks. “Glen I want you to meet my kids. I will do them oldest to youngest that way I won’t miss anyone.” Alice said smiling brightly. “First of all is Jessie, you remember him? He used to be less than two feet tall.” Glen smiled at that with the memory. He shook Jessie’s hand and said “Yes, although you really have grown, I do remember you.” Glen shook each child’s hand in turn as Alice introduced them to him. She also introduced her sons in laws and the future daughter in law along with all the grandkids. “Glen, this is Sarah and her husband, John. These are their kids Billy, Stephanie and Amy. Then we have Julianna and her husband Timothy with their son Bobby. This is Rachael and her daughter Josie. The last one to introduce is the baby. This is Alan and his girlfriend Becky. These two are getting married next Friday.” “What a beautiful bunch of kids you have! I saw them on Sunday but you were all so busy that none of us was introduced. You did a great job my love!” “Thank you! Now Glen I need you and my kids to get to know each other. I have already told them the news. You can tell them again if you want and tell them about you. I am going to leave you guys alone for about a half hour while I go fi nd Megan.” “See you in a little while!” Glen told her. Alice left them all together and prayed the kids would accept him while she went in search of Megan. She located her on the swings and Alice sat down beside her. “Well how did it go?” Megan wanted to know. “I don’t know yet. You know inquisitive little Sarah of course she had all kinds of questions. He is talking to them now.” “I am glad. Alice it will all work out you know.” “I know! Megan is there something wrong?” Alice had noticed coldness in her friend that hadn’t been there before. “No, why do ask that?” “Because I have always been receptive to peoples moods and attitudes and it just seems that something is on your mind.” “Oh, Alice, I am so happy for you, really I am but it seems watching you that life has passed me by.” “Megan, no it hasn’t! You are the one who always tells me to leave it in the hands of God. Look what he did for me through you! He will do the same for you. There has to be a very special man for you because you are an angel and God won’t just give you anybody.” “I know he will. Promise you will always be my friend no matter about when you and Glen marry?” “Without you Megan, I would not even be here to enjoy a life with my kids or Glen. Do you think I would leave you out of all that?” “No, I suppose not. I love you Alice and I am so glad that you came in the restaurant that day.” They hugged and Alice said “You aren’t half as glad as I am!” The two started walking back to the family. “Well?” asked Alice “What’s the verdict?” Sarah spoke up “We like him mom and hope you guys will be happy together. Glen we welcome you as our step dad!” Glen said “Thank you Sarah, I appreciate that!” Becky spoke up “Alan and I have been talking. Since you too have been apart for so long but still love each other, how about you all get married next Friday when we do? We would love to have a double wedding and what a day to remember right?” “Alice, what do you think? Glen asked “I want to know what the other kids think about it!” They looked at each other and nodded “Go for it!” Julianna said Alice was smiling from ear to ear “Will you all be there?” “Yes, we will all stay and get things done in out other homes after the weddings.” Julianna said. There could have been no happier family on the face of this earth than Alice’s family was. What a contrast to what it had been a week ago! Megan was a big part of the family now as all the kids made her feel like she was one of them. Yes this day was indeed happy. CHAPTER FOURTEEN The week seemed as though it were dragging by. Alice went to work every day learning more and more how to do the dispatcher duties. Megan went to school every other day and work at night. Glen had bought Alice a beautiful engagement ring the morning of the picnic and had placed it on her fi nger in front of all her kids and Megan. There were many tears of happiness that morning and a lot of love. Alice was getting her fi rst paycheck on Friday and had planned to give Megan some money. She knew Megan wouldn’t accept it so she had planned to leave it under her bedroom pillow shortly before leaving for the church. Alice also bought her wedding dress with some of the money from her pay. Glen had planned to give up his home in Tennessee and come back to Kentucky. Alice’s family was here and he would give up what he had to in order to keep the family together. Alice had told Mr. Hanley that she was going to be married Friday evening and he told her she could take off at noon if she wanted to. She was grateful for this because she had so much to do. That Friday, Megan of course fixed her hair and makeup and after she arrived at the church she got dressed for the biggest and happiest day of her life. Alice looked at her reflection in the full length mirror. What a difference had been made in her life in just a month. “Thank you Jesus. You have indeed blessed me beyond my wildest imaginings.” At 7 o’clock that evening with all her children present - Alan and Becky became man and wife and so did she and Glen. She had finally received the blessings from God that she had asked him for. All she had had to do was listen and accept him!