Voices

The Voices By Nevena Radjenovic "Wake up." "You're awake." "No you are not." "No. I am." "Who is?" "We are." "We are. " "All of us." "Could you all please shut up?" I wake up to the sound of the Voices arguing again. They've attempted to wake me time and time again, apparently. "Just open your eyes." "Look at us." "It isn't polite to ignore people that are speaking to you." "Please look..." I open my eyes. There it is. The brain shattering pain. The light, the light. It hurts me. I groan and turn away. No more, I plead, no more. I want to go back to sleep, but my mind is awake, and they won't let me go back into my blissful oasis. "Turn to me." "No! Look at me." "You two, stop arguing, darling look at me." "Guys, stop it, she's going to explode." A hand is placed on my shoulder. Go away, please just go... I raise my eyes to the Voice. It's the old lady. She's stroking my shoulder, humming a lullaby. Her eye sockets are faced towards me, and a smile, a toothless smile, is staring at me. The other two faces are screaming at each other. The eyes.... The eyes are missing. "Look at what you did!" "ME?! It was you!" "What are you two on about?!" "He made her look at the old broad instead of me!" I turn away from the Voice. I look at my walls, they begin to melt. Away.. they melt away. There is suddenly a field. The world is in colours. Water, ice, pale snow. Russia. Suddenly, I watch millions die at my hands. I try to reach out and scream, but they are gone, and there my wall is. Sitting there as usual. I panic for a moment. Where have the people gone? Are they dead? Have I killed them? I rise from my bed. I walk to the window, the lovely peeled painted window, and place my hand on the glass. I weep as I watch their faces melt into a fiery inferno. "Mira, my dear, are you awake?" The door is opening. Mother is here. I wipe my tears, mutter a quick apology to the people, and turn to her with a smile. "She means to refer to all of us, you know." "Yes, she does." "No, she's just talking to her. Not us." "She hates us. She hates you, Mira." "Yes, I am. I'll be down in a moment, mum." "No you won't." "You'll stay here with us, you wench." "Run and go, get away from us." "Stop it! Leave her alone." "Alright," she says, "hurry up. I made your favourite." I nod and watch her leave. Mother never speaks to the Voices. She knows better. Sometimes I wonder if she can even hear them. I know she can see them. She looks at them. They stare at her. She must notice them. I walk to the door and place my hand on the cold knob. My fingers grasp it tightly and I feel their hands on my shirt. They're pulling me back. They don't want me to leave. They never do. I'm sorry. So sorry. I leave anyway. They can't keep me there. "Please don't go." "We like it in here." "We don't like her." "She wants to get rid of us." "I really don't care." I turn the knob and leave the room, only to be standing on the edge of a cliff. There is no hallway, there never was. There is only cliff. I cannot step forward. They grab me. They hold on. "Where did this come from?" "That's a far drop." "Be careful." "Let's jump!" I blink, and it's gone. The hallway is there. But it had never been there. It couldn't have. My mind sees the cliff. I see the floor. There was always a hallway, I remember. I walk forward to test the reality. It's there. Solid. I continue walking to the kitchen. The Voices babble along as they walk with me. "We shouldn't be here." "Oh shut up." "I'd like a glass of tea." "You and your tea.." Mother is in the kitchen. She is facing away from me. The country kitchen is filled with the scent of bacon and eggs. I sit down on the wooden chair as I usually do. I look up to Mother to see she has turned, and the eyes. The eyes are gone. There is no Mother there. "Honey, what's wrong?" I'm shaking. She isn't changing. I look away and say that I'm fine. I hear her leave after placing my plate on the table. I hear her talking in her room. Maybe she has her own Voices too. I wonder if she keeps them locked in her room, and how she does it. I look down at the plate, and all of the food is rotten. It is filled with worms and decayed meat. I try not to scream. "Are you really going to eat that?" "Please tell me you'll share with us." "It looks so well prepared." "They're crazy. Don't eat that." Then, it is filled with eggs and bacon. I blink several times and Mother has returned. Her eyes have returned. "Of course her eyes are back." "She isn't one of us." "She could be." "One of uss..." I scarf the food down in a breath and leave the house, not telling mum where I've gone. She doesn't care enough for me to have to tell her. The house is within the city, and I can't find a quiet place to sit and think. I want to be away from the Voices. I want to be away from the broken house. I walk out far, to where the farmland becomes a cliff. The sound of the waves washing against the shore comforts me. It makes me feel as though the Voices aren't real. I hear them laughing and playing. I look over my shoulder to see the old lady sitting on the grass; the child is running around in circles whilst giggling, and the couple is screaming and arguing near the cliff. I watch the couple closely as I lower myself to the ground, joining the old lady on the grass. They don't bother me here. They speak amongst themselves. Suddenly, the woman from the couple begins to lose her balance. She's falling. The man screams and tries to catch her. The world slows down. I jump after her, but my fingers touch nothing. I am the one falling now. I seem to fall forever and I hear the Voices next to me. We're all falling. The wind is blowing against me. My hair is everywhere and I feel scared. My heart is racing. I hear drums inside my ears; they're beating as fast as my heart. "It'll all be over soon." "No it won't." "Just calm down, dear." "It's over." I do not speak. I am screaming and writhing in the wind. This can't happen. I hear mother's voice in my ear. "Mira, what are you doing in the middle of the wheat field?" I'm not in the middle of the field. What is mother talking about? She is panicked. She must not really see me. I hear rustling and running footsteps. They stop. "I'm Dr. Xalvador and I'm here to help you, Mira." A new Voice. I can't see him, or mother. I turn to look up at the cliff as I fall. There they are. They're there, yet their voices are in my ears. He isn't one of the Voices. I feel my arm go numb, then the rest of me does. "It'll all be okay, darling." The man is encouraging me. I must have hit the bottom. I stop moving. The world begins to fade to black. I hear one last Voice. It's the child. "We'll see you soon, Mira." I feel my eyes close, but the world is already black. I see the Voices walking away in my darkness. They turn one last time to wave. I take a breath and open my eyes to see nothing but white. The padded floor beneath me is soft. I relax. I cannot move my arms. They are frozen against my body. I can never move. They can never let me move. A tear falls from my eye. "The eyes," I whisper, "their eyes.." The world fades off as my body goes numb again. "Welcome, friend." "Welcome back, Mira." "We have missed you." "I told you we'd be back." -Fin