Cleopatra's Firsts

Chapter Three: Bad News

We need to talk. It's important.

It took me almost half an hour to compose that message for Isaiah.

Is something wrong?

I hit reply, Will talk about it later.

See you at 6 pm at the usual place.

I don't want to be the first to send a message to anyone, mostly men, but my situation is serious.

I keep on pacing back and forth in my dorm room since I received that call from Dad and I couldn't wait to see Isaiah. Dad's words were still echoing inside my brain.

Isaiah has already ordered dinner for me when I arrive at the restaurant. Our usual place is near the university.

I sat down.

"I don't know how to say this," I started. I didn't even touch the food he ordered for me.

"Say what? You're making me nervous."

I remove my engagement ring and put it on the table.

He looks at me quizzically.

"We're leaving. I'm breaking the engagement."

"What?"

"We're going to London," I said, crying. "I am so sorry."

He was silent for a moment, then he took the ring and put it inside his pocket.

"Don't you want to try long distance relationship?"

"It will not work," I said shaking my head.

"How can you say that? We haven't tried it yet."

"No, Isaiah. You don't have to do this. I am the one who broke the engagement. Dad will not come after you."

"Why are you so afraid of long distance relationship? If it works in some people, then it will work to both of us."

Hindi ko namalayan na tumutulo na pala ang aking mga luha. This is not the first time we talked about having a long distance relationship. In fact when we become together when I was fourteen, he offered it to me too. And I rejected it for the same reason that I have now.

"We will not handle it. I am not strong enough for it, Isaiah. We will just hurt each other."

"But it's different now! I am already a pilot. I can come to you whenever you miss me!"

"London is too far. You'll get tired!"

"Why are you so concern about whether I get tired or not? Why can't you just trust me?" mahina ngunit buong puso na sabi nito.

"Because I don't want us to end up hating each other at the end!"

Malungkot na umiling lang ito, "Alright, stop crying. I feel bad. Everyone here will think I made you cry."

"You're not mad?"

"Well, I don't know. You know I really like you, you're nice and different from the women I used to date. Maybe I am just a little sad that this ends after a month. Well at least we survived your one day expiration. You didn't even give me enough time to show you that I really like you!"

"It's not like that."

"No need to explain. I really understand. You're busy with your studies and I'm busy with my work. I will do the explaining to my parents. But wait- Does your family know about this?"

"They didn't mention it but they're the one who decided that we need to leave. So it's given that I need to return your ring. After all, I don't know if we're coming back here."

He stands up. "Nice meeting you, Kallista."

I watched him walk away with a heavy heart.

"When the time is right, I'll go back and tell you what I really felt about you, Isaiah."

"You can always stay and finish the first semester if you want. I will talk to Dad." Alexandria said when we were packing things that we need to put on sale before we leave.

"Dad won't allow it. Besides, it's fine. You need us there."

Last night, Alexandria, told us that she has kidney failure. That they need to go to London because she needs to undergo a kidney transplant if she couldn't lower her creatinine level naturally.

Why London? Because her donor is there.

"You don't smoke, you seldom drink alcohol, why did your kidney fail?"

"It's not just about that you know. Sometimes it's also about the food that we eat."

"We eat healthy foods at home."

"Yes, we do."

I am silent for a moment.

"Are you afraid?" I ask my sister.

"I am."

"We're always here for you, you know. You can do it."

"Thanks, Kali. I'm sorry I ruin your first relationship."

I shrug. "It's not a real relationship. We were forced to do it. Maybe you save me from heartache and you should be happy about it not sad."

Alexandria smiles. "You seems happy about it."

I sigh, "He offered me a long distance relationship, though."

"What did you say to him?"

"I rejected it. We'll just end up hurting each other. Long distance relationship only works for the couple who loves each other."

"He offered it to you, then maybe he loves you, Kalli."

"Do your really believe that Isaiah is capable of loving someone like me? No!"

"You don't know what he feels."

"I don't want to take a risk, ate." He's to valuable to me I won't be taking risks.

"You know sometimes, there are people who will come to our life that worth risking anything." Alexandria is looking from afar. I don't know of she's telling this from her experience or what.

"People change, ate. Even if I take the risk now, there's no telling Isaiah will be the same as he is now. He will meet a lot of people, and he will realize, what we have is just..."

"Aren't you overthinking too much?"

"I just don't want my heart to be broken." Again.

"You will not know the true meaning of heart break without experiencing it. Our experiences are the best teachers. We learn something from doing it. You just need courage to do it if you want to learn."

"I think we talk too much. We still have a lot of things to pack." Pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

Tumawa naman ng marahan ang kapatid ko. "Okay. Let's finish this up."

"Hey!"

"What is it?"

"You will fight right?"

Alexandria offered me a sad smile. "Of course I will. I am not ready to leave mom and dad, yet. And of course you and Alexander."

"That's your promise?"

"It's my promise."

"I am here for you always if you need me. I can give you one of my kidneys if I have to."

"I know, Kali. I know."

The next morning, I left home because I still have a month to review and finish my final exam. I can take the exam ahead because my family and me needs to leave next month.

I woke up early because I need to go to the library and borrow some books that I need for my reviewer. I was walking outside my dorm when a black BMW stopped in front of me.

Bigla akong kinabahan nang bumaba ang bintana sa driver's seat. Uso pa naman ang kidnapping sa mga panahon na iyon. Naglakad ako nang mabilis palayo sa sasakyan dahil sa mga oras na iyon, wala pa masyadong mga estudyante dahil 6:00 a.m pa nagsisimula ang mga klase. It's only five in the morning!

"Kallista!"

Napalingon ako nang marinig ko ang boses na iyon.

"Luke!" mabilis na naglakad ako pabalik.

"Get in," nakangiting wika nito sabay bukas ng pintuan sa passenger's seat.

"Why are you here?"

"I came to see you of course. I heard you are leaving."

Luke is Isaiah's first cousin. He is my best friend, my ally and confidante. He is the only person who keeps coming back to the hacienda every time I was there to keep me company because I am not allowed to go out.

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was so busy in packing and now I need to review because I have an upcoming exam."

"It's fine. Are you leaving for good?"

"Seems like it."

"I met Isaiah yesterday, he's the one who told me you're leaving. And he looks unhappy about it."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't say much. As a matter of fact, he didn't talk to any of us. He just went at our grandparents house to say hi the oldies."

"Do you think long distance relationship will work?"

"You and Isaiah?"

Luke is the only person who knows what I really felt towards Isaiah.

"Yes."

"I thought you don't like a long distance boyfriend?"

"I do, it's just a question. You can answer it or not."

"I know Isaiah, so if he said he can do it then he will do it. How about you? Do you have enough trust and patience for him? Because the secret of long distance relationship is trust. If you don't have it, then it will not work."

"I'm afraid, I don't have that."

"You should talk to him, Kalli. Know his side, because the truth will set you free. It's been six years already. You left him six years ago without telling him the truth why you did it. I am telling you this not because he is my cousin. I am telling you this because I want you to be happy."

"I am sorry but I have to go, Luke. Thank you so much for coming here." I hug him tight.

"Be well, Kalli. And tell Alexandria, to get well."

Nakangiting tinanguan ko si Luke.

"Thank you so much!"

We left the country a month later.

Within that month, I could see changes in my sister. From a very lively one, she became restless. I always see her crying when she's alone. I see tears from her eyes from time to time, and she's trying to hide it from us.

One time, when we're eating dinner, Alexander and I are talking about some childhood stuff, and when I look in her direction, I saw tears streaming down her face. And she hurriedly excused herself.

I know that she's still going to be fine. But I couldn't help myself from thinking about what if's.

A month after we arrived in London, she developed some weird rash on her body, forcing her doctor to change the date for her kidney transplant operation. It's not just about her creatinine now. I couldn't believe that within almost two months, she now has kidney failure.

"You need to undergo the operation." I heard my mom crying in the other room when I woke up that morning.

"I couldn't do that, mom. Yes, I will live but how about the life of the person who will give me her kidney?"

"It doesn't matter, Alexandria."

"It matters, mom. To me, it matters. I am a doctor. I am supposed to save lives."

"You saved plenty of lives already. Now is the time to save yours."

"I can't."

"You will die."

That's the moment I entered the room. Alexandria is crying hard. I approached and hugged her tight.

I couldn't help myself from crying. I know I needed to be strong for my sister, and I am not supposed to cry in front of her. But, during that time, I don't know what matters anymore.

"You promised to get better. You need to fulfil that promise." I said, crying.

I heard no response from her. She is just crying silently.

"You cannot leave us yet."

Alexandria being sick is the worst thing that happened to our life. Since we left the Philippines, I see no smile from either Mom or Dad, even Alexander, who is known for his cranky jokes.

I didn't enrol in college yet, because everyone has work, and someone needs to be there for my sister. I am the one who's seen my sister at her worst. And I couldn't stand looking at her helpless state. You wouldn't recognize her anymore.

But we were happy when she told us that she would undergo a kidney transplant operation one day. My mom couldn't stop crying. And I think I did something good.

Isaiah's POV

It's been months since Samirah broke their engagement. He can't say that he is heartbroken. The fact is, she hurt his ego.

"She's a Montemayor after all, you should have asked for advice from Exodus," Jude said, laughing. It is during their grandparent's wedding anniversary. They were in the garden drinking when Jude approach him.

"Do you have any communication with her?"

Instead of answering Ezekiel's question, he gulped a beer in front of him.

"It's a no then."

"Come on, man. That engagement was only to please her parents, right?"

"Right. But that's not an issue here. I am supposed to be the one who does the breaking up. Not her."

Kallista stood him up not just once but twice. When he thought he can have her, she just slip from his fingers.

Everyone laughs. Well, no one knows what he and Kallista had six year ago. No one knows except the two of them.

"Tell that to a Montemayor."

"F*ck"

"Did she tell you the reason?"

"Not exactly. We only met because she needed to return my ring."

"Ask Vi." Genesis urge.

"I won't do that. She already left, it only means she doesn't care and I don't want to drag my sorry ass to wherever she is."

"We can ask Violet about her. For sure Kallista told her why she left."

"Don't bother."

"Why not?"

"Because Exodus don't want us to stress her pregnant wife, remember? And I don't want to chase after her."

"But you're just going to ask her a question. And besides, she definitely knows where your ex-fiancee is now."

"Heck, don't bother."

"I can ask her if you want."

Genesis comes back minutes later.

"She's in London. One of the twins is sick. That's all I got from her."

He stood up. "Doesn't matter."

"Really?"

"Really, Genesis! Now stop whatever you are doing. It's not funny!"

It happened a week before the transplant. My sister is getting weaker and weaker. And since there's a pandemic going on worldwide, we're having difficulty in admitting her to any hospital. Even her own specialist couldn't find a space for her in any hospitals in London.

Mom, being a doctor, did her best to help my sister at home. Her room becomes her own hospital room. I heard her screaming in the middle of the night because of the pain. Mom and Dad took charge of taking care of her during the night. I see her hiding her tears when I'm around her in the daytime.

Mom said we would not leave her side. I have an idea about what's going on with my sister since I studied a little about kidney failure. Her kidney cannot filter all the toxins inside her body. That's why her skin is swelling, mostly her legs. She said it itched, so when she tried to scratch it, it ends up being a wound, and at night, she's struggling from the pain because of those wounds.

The saddest part is, sometimes she won't even recognize any of us. I thought it was from the medicine she's taking.

"Cali, I don't want to die yet. Please help me. I don't want to leave mom and dad yet."

I stop myself from crying. "You will not die. I promise."

"I don't know what's happening to me anymore. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing. When I fall asleep, I heard your voice but it's coming from afar."

"You'll be fine. I promise I will do everything to help you."

"Wake me up, when I don't wake up on my own, okay? I don't want to die yet."

"Of course. I will. I'll be bere beside you all the time until you wake up."

When she went to sleep, I cried so hard, not because it was sad. But because I know what's going on.

"Mom we need to do the transplant as soon as possible. Alexandria is dying."

Mom cried. "Her doctor still looking for a space in the hospital."

"Until when mom? I don't want her to die. Please."

"I hope soon, Kalli."

Later that night, when I'm about to say goodnight to my parents. My sister is struggling with her breathing.

"Mom? What's going on?"

I hold my sister's hand. She's catching her breath. I heard her breath her last two breaths and then . . .

"Mom? She's not breathing!"

Dad pushed me away, and he helps mom with the oxygen.

"Mom, please. Please! She doesn't want to die yet. We need to call her doctor."

I was hysterical, and I know that's the right thing to do at that time.

I was looking for my phone when mom collapse. Dad catches her before she hit the floor.

"Dad?"

He shakes his head.

"Noooooooooo! This can't be happening! Do something!"

I ran towards my sister to shake her. She's just sleeping and she asked me to wake her up. I promised her that I would wake her up in case she couldn't wake up on her own.

"D-dad, h-help me! We need to wake her up!"

I was holding my sister's head in my hand, trying to wake her up in her sleep.

"Kalli, she's gone!" It was Alexander. "She's dead!"

"N-no! No... This can't be. She can't die yet!"

"Kalli, please. She's gone!"

Galit na hinarap ko si Alexander, "How easy for you to accept her death, Alexander! Do you even care?"

Naniningkit ang mga mata na hinarap ako nito. Hindi ko napansin na tumutulo rin pala ang mga luha nito.

"I care for her too, Kallista. She's not just my sister, she's my twin! It hurts me too when I see her suffer and there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Enough of it, Alexander! Kallista, go get your mother a water."

A part of me died together with my sister that night. She is right, we will only know what heartache is when we experienced it.