How We End

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

{ G R A C E }

"Got it." I said in monotone and walked away, feeling a foreign ache in my chest.

I squeezed through people, making it to the front door. I pulled the door open and quickened my pace.

I wasn't gonna cry.

I wasn't gonna cry.

I didn't care about what Dean said to me.

I didn't care about any of it.

It didn't matter.

I didn't care.

But every cell in my body was betraying my thoughts. I felt tears sting at my eyes and I blinked them back. I wasn't gonna cry, this wasn't the first time I was hearing something like that.

So, why did it hurt so much?

I ran a hand through my hair as I walked faster. My body was shaking and my breathing was uneven, I just needed to get the hell out of here. I couldn't be here anymore.

I saw a black car which I recognized to be Kyle's pull up close to the sidewalk. Kyle got down from the car, a look of worry and concern on his face.

"Hey, you okay?" He walked over to me.

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered as I felt a single tear stream down my cheek. "No?"

"What happened?" His eyes scanned mine.

I launched myself into his arms, wrapping my hands around his neck. His body stiffened at first but he later relaxed and wrapped his arms around my waist as I cried into his chest.

"It's okay, Grace. It's okay." He whispered soothingly into my ear, rubbing his palm up and down my back.

I let out silent sobs.

"It's okay to cry, you know? You can let it out, let it all out." He said softly as he pushed my hair behind my ear, rubbing my hair.

I continued to cry into his chest, letting it all out. All the grief, pain and hurt that I had been keeping locked up for such a long time, all of it.

"I'm here for you." He assured, pushing me back lightly. He brushed his thumb across my cheek, wiping my tears away.

I took in a deep breath, sniffing as I ran a hand down my face.

Kyle gathered me in his arms as he led us to his car, opening the passenger door and getting me in gently. He walked over to the driver's seat, got in and set the car in motion.

There was an awkward silence for the first two minutes of the car ride.

I had stopped crying and was just staring out of the window with my arm on the window sill.

"Wow." Kyle said suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"I just saw you cry. I didn't think you were capable." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course, I cry. I'm not a f*****g robot, Kyle. I have feelings like every other damn human."

He didn't say anything and it was silent again.

Kyle broke the silence, "Wanna tell me what happened?"

"It's nothing." I simply said.

"It was Dean, wasn't it?" He inquired and I didn't say anything. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "That bastard..."

"Just let it go." I said quietly.

"Why is he such an asshole? Who peed in his biscuits? Why is he always like that? Why are you even friends with him if that's how badly he treats you. Grace, can't you just see that he's just a prick who doesn't care about yo--"

I cut him off abruptly, "I said let it go, Kyle!"

I didn't know where the instinct to defend Dean was coming from, even after he was such a b***h to me today but I knew that Dean wasn't what Kyle was naming him, he didn't treat me badly. I knew he cared about me.

At least I thought he did.

"I'm sorry." Kyle apologized, but didn't get a response from me.

I heard my phone ring and I reached into my pocket and brought it out to see who it was.

Chris Best Friend.

I hit accept.

"Grace, oh my God, thank God you picked up. Are you okay? Where the hell are you? What the f**k happened? Are you okay?" He sounded panicked.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." I said, my voice shaky.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"K-Kyle's driving me home. It's okay Chris, I'm fine." My voice sounded unconvincing to even me.

"No, you're not. What happened?" He inquired.

"I'll tell you everything later, don't worry about me."

I heard a car door open and close, "Yeah right, don't worry about you. When will I ever not worry about you, Grace? I'm on my way home right now, okay?"

"Chris, it's okay. Really, I'm fi--" I wasn't able to complete my sentence because he hung up on me.

I let out a long frustrated breath.

Kyle placed his hand on my thigh, "It's gonna be okay, Grace."

* * * *

Dean called.

After the first five rings, Kyle took my phone from me and switched it off.

I was seated on the couch, Kyle beside me. I stared blankly into space as memories of the night replayed in my head.

I wish I had never gone to that stupid party.

"Wanna hear some good jokes?" Kyle smiled.

I shrugged.

"What do you call a sleeping bull?" He asked, smirking.

"A bull-dozer." I replied bluntly.

He pouted.

"Um, okay I got one!" He exclaimed excitedly. "I'm not a photographer but I can picture you and I together."

"That's not a joke, that's a pick up line."

"Exactly." He smirked. "Are you an omelette? Because you're getting me egg-cited!"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him.

"The only thing I would love to change about you is your last name." He said, a smirk on his face.

I didn't say anything.

"Come on, Grace. Smileee. Say something, insult me, anything." He nudged my shoulder.

I heard Chris' car pull up in the driveway. Shortly after, I saw Chris walk into the living room.

His face dropped as he looked at me, "Hey best friend."

I simply waved.

Chris walked over to the couch and sat on my other side. "Thanks for driving her home, Kyle."

"It's no problem." Kyle shrugged.

Chris pushed loose hair behind my ear and looked at Kyle, "I really appreciate everything you've done tonight Kyle, really. You must be tired, you can go home. I'll take care of her."

"I really don't mind." Kyle said genuinely.

"Kyle, it's okay. You can go." I said quietly.

"Really?" He placed a hand on my thigh.

I simply nodded.

Chris walked Kyle out of our house but not before Kyle ruffled up my hair. Chris was back on the couch with me.

"I'm sorry, Chris." I said softly.

"F-For what?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You didn't get any booty tonight because of me, you didn't have to."

"Are you seriously kidding me, Grace? I'd ditch a thousand boooties for you because you're my best friend, okay?" He spoke.

I nodded.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" Chris asked softly.

"Earlier today, Dean took me to his family's vacation beach house. I told him about the comments from high school and how I felt about everything. At the party, this drunk f**k was trying to get me to go home with him and I told him I wasn't interested. He wouldn't listen, he kept on insisting and became violent about it, my patience was running thin and I swear I would have hit him, but that's when Dean intervened and started defending me. I told him to stay out of it but he didn't. The dude pulled at my ponytail and it was like he just lost it. Dean broke his face, if I hadn't interfered he would have knocked him out. I was angry because you know how much I hate when people don't stay out of my business. We got into this heated argument and it was like he...snapped. He spat back everything I told him at my face, like he didn't care at all, like he purposely wanted to hurt me. You could hear how sincere he was when he was talking. All the comments for high school, Chris, all of it. I opened up to him about it, forgetting again that they are all the same." I finished, holding back a sob.

It. Hurt. So. Much.

Why?

Chris hugged me to him and stroked my hair.

"Am I really that bad, Chris? Am I really such a b***h?" I sniffed.

"You're not, G. You're amazing and smart and beautiful and strong and special and no one has the power to take that away from you." He said softly. "You are strong, Grace."

I rested my head on his shoulder.

* * * *

It was Monday and I had woken up a little bit late that morning. I had a quick shower and when I was done, I got dressed. I walked up to my vanity mirror and gazed at my reflection. I was wearing a big thin sweater and black leggings. I picked up a rubber band and tied my hair up in a messy bun.

I rubbed my hand on my face and said to my reflection, "You are strong."

I picked up my phone and placed it in my cross bag, which I hung on my shoulder. I was about to walk out of my room when I set my gaze upon it.

The jean jacket Dean had given me Saturday night.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the room, "Chris, let's go!"

I heard Chris shout from his room, "I don't have an early class today, go ahead without me!"

I walked out of the house and locked the door. I got into my car and drove to school, but not before stopping to get a cup of coffee from Starbucks. I parked my car in an empty parking space and got down, taking my coffee out from the cup holder. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder as I walked to my department. But that was when my eyes landed on him.

Dean.

He looked... tired.

He was staring at me. For a second, I was tempted to walk up to him and tease him or something while he walked me to my class but the image of him yelling at me replayed in my head and I tore my eyes away from his and continued walking.

"Hey Kitty," Kyle said as he walked over to me and ruffled my messy bun.

"f**k you." I cursed at him, trying to smoothen my hair.

"Well, if you're down for it, I have a really nice bedroo-" he smirked as he spoke but I cut him off.

"Ew, gross! Shut the f**k up Kyle, please." I scrunched my face in disgust.

He licked his lip, "You know you want this."

"I think I'm gonna puke." I swallowed.

Kyle looked over my head and a deep scowl formed on his face. I assumed he was looking at Dean.

So, he was still there.

Kyle tore his eyes away from Dean and looked at me, smiling. He hung his arm around my shoulder and we both started walking.

"Get your hand off me, Kyle." I said.

"No, Dean is watching." He smirked.

"So?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Hush, Grace. You talk too much."

I rolled my eyes at him.

* * * *

I was seated beside Kyle in my poetry class. We were dismissed shortly after by our professor and everyone got up, got their things and exited the classroom. I got up from my seat, placed my laptop in my bag and zipped it.

I stood up and looked at Kyle, wanting to tell him that we should go. But he was still seated in his seat, he was staring into space. There was a light crease in his eyebrows, a sign that he was deep in thought. A disturbing thought.

I sat back down beside him. "Hey, you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm okay." He smiled.

His smile was forced.

"You can tell me what's bothering you, Kyle. That's what friends are for." I assured him.

His eyes lit up, "We're friends?"

I nudged his shoulder playfully, "Of course, we're friends."

"It's nothing serious, it's just that..." He took a long deep breath, "...I miss home."

"New York?" I inquired.

"No." He chuckled humorlessly. "Bath."

"You're from England?" I said surprised.

"Yeah, I am. I was born and raised there."

"That means you're British. But you don't have an-"

"Accent? Yeah, I lost that over the years."

"When did you move to America?" I asked, interested.

"When I was 12." He answered. His eyes looked sad, it was new to me.

"May I ask why?"

"Our family was having a lot of issues. My dad got fired from his job and became devastated. My mom worked her ass off for us to survive, my dad helped around, running errands, part time jobs. My mother was tired of working so hard, she took her frustrations on my father, blamed him for our condition, she wasn't supportive. All she kept yanning about was how her life would've been different if she had married someone else. Someone rich and diligent. It was driving my father crazy." He ran a hand through his hair and continued, "I did the best I could for a twelve year old, helping around the house, doing stuff. My mom wanted a divorce, it broke my dad's heart but he couldn't take anymore of her bullshit. Shortly after the divorce, my dad found out that my mother was pregnant, but the baby wasn't my father's. She cheated on my father with this rich ass dude and left us for nothing.

Months passed and my dad and I survived the best we could, but a friend of my dad's from college offered my dad a job. It was a big opportunity for him but the job was in New York. We moved and Wilson, my dad's friend, was kind enough to let us stay with him until we could get a house of our own. When I was sixteen, my dad got married again to this amazing woman, Laura. She's the best and I love her more than I do my biological mother. Laura has been more of a mother than my own mother.

My real mom has been trying to contact me for a long time. Turns out she's a big publisher at a publishing house in Bath. My half sister is 7 and her name is Audrey. She keeps sending pictures and telling me to come visit. I'm almost tempted to in spite of everything. I miss Bath, that was home, that was where the memories were, that was where my childhood was. I haven't been there in 8 years and I just wanna go back." He finished.

The sorrow in his eyes were evident as he spoke.

I placed my hand on his as an offer of comfort, "Do you miss your mom?"

"It's been hard to forgive her but I've learned to. I miss her, yeah." He answered.

"Do you want to go back?"

"I do." He answered. "She invited me for thanksgiving

"Then go. Don't let anything hold you back from doing what you want to, I'm sure your dad would understand." I said softly.

He gave a small smile.

"Now stop being gloomy, Kyle. That's not you, you're playful and stupid." I smirked. "Let's go."

We both stood up from our seats and to my surprise, Kyle hugged me.

"Thank you." He said into my hair.

I patted his back. "Anytime."

* * * *

After Kyle and I got out of our department, we just hung around and talked until I drove home.

"Chris! I'm home!" I shouted as I got into the house. "I'm gonna go take a shower real quick, okay?!"

"Okay!" I heard him shout from the kitchen.

When I was done taking a shower, I threw on a plain white shirt and black leggings and walked into the kitchen. Chris was seated on a barstool, leaning on the kitchen island and eating an apple.

I sat on the kitchen island and took an apple out of the fruit bowl.

"How was your day?" I asked my best friend as I bit into the apple.

"It was good. I had a really nice talk with Dean at Starbucks." He said.

"Okay." I bit my lip.

"Okay? Okay? Aren't you gonna say something?" He asked.

"No, the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with Dean doesn't mean you shouldn't. You can do whatever, just don't bring him to the house." I told him.

"Come on, Grace. He was really devastated, he looked tired and worn out. He feels really bad for what he said."

"Yet, he said them anyway."

"Grace, he was angry and acted on impulse. You have to understand."

"So, you're saying that I should forgive him?"

"Talk to him, hear him out."

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You're wrong too, G. Just know that." He shrugged.

"How the hell am I wrong?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Dean was only trying to look out for you. Not every guy will beat an asshole up for you. If anyone does that for me, I'm going to chain them to an altar and marry them." Chris elaborated.

"It wasn't his choice to make, it was mine."

"But can't you just see he cares about you? So much so that he doesn't want to see you get hurt." Chris reasoned. "Put yourself in his shoes Grace, if someone was picking on me so bad and threatening to de-ball me or something, and you know you can take the person out. Then I tell you to stay out of it and the person tries to hit me. What would you do? What would your instinct tell you to do?"

"Stand up for you." I said quietly, reasoning him out.

"Exactly. That night at the bar, did you stay out of the situation when I told you to?"

"No." I lowered my head.

"Exactly, so you don't get mad at someone because they're trying to protect you." He said firmly.

"But I don't need protection."

"We're only human at the end of the day, right?" Chris said as a matter of fact.

"It doesn't change what he said to me." I said sternly.

"But you caused everything in the first place. He was angry, we all say stupid things when we're angry."

I thought about it.

Maybe Chris was right.

"And it's obvious you two miss each other. Dean is the best friend you could have after me. It won't be the same without him." Chris said.

I scoffed, "Says who?"

"You know it's true." He gave me a pointed look. "And I don't want to be caught up in the middle of things. I miss our badass trio already."

"I guess you're right." I breathed out.

"Of course I'm right, b***h. I'm always right." He smirked. "So, do you promise to hear him out?"

"I promise." I said truthfully.

I heard my phone ring from my room.

"Be right back." I said to Chris as I hurried to my room.

Tommy was calling.

I hit accept.

"Hey little bro."

"Hey sis. How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm alright." He sounded nervous.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Um, okay-ish. We have a big game tonight and everyone's counting on me. If we lose tonight, we won't be able to make it to the states. I'm just so nervous Grace, what if I don't make it? What if we lose? What if--"

"Thomas, breathe." I instructed as he did so. "You've got this, okay? I believe in you. You are gonna go out there and you are gonna kick ass. Tommy, you are an Anderson. Anderson's are winners, it's in our blood. Just go out there and do your thing."

He let out a long breath, "Thanks Grace. You really are the best."

"Now, go out there and kick ass."

"Thanks sis. I love y-"

"Anderson! Come on!" I heard a voice, which I assumed belonged to his coach, shout distantly from the phone.

"Okay, bye sis."

"Bye Tommy. Good luck." I hung up and sat on my bed.

My eyes wandered around my room and it landed on the piece of clothing lying on my couch. I walked over to the couch and picked up the jean jacket and wore it.

It felt so comfortable.

An idea hit me.

I walked back into the kitchen and asked Chris, "Do you happen to know where Dean lives?"

* * * *

Dean lived in a penthouse.

I wonder why I wasn't surprised.

I parked in the garage of the huge building, my heart in my hand. I was going to do something I never thought I could do. I was going to talk and reason with Dean after he said really offensive words to me.

I was just tired and I wanted us to be friends again.

I got down from my car and clutched the edges of the jean jacket closer to my body.

I walked into the building and got into the elevator, after informing the receptionist that I was a close friend of Dean. The elevator opened as it reached the fifth floor of the second building.

I walked up to Dean's front door, as Chris had informed me, and I was about to push the doorbell but something stopped me. The transom on his front door didn't make it difficult to see into his living room.

There was a redhead on Dean's lap, she was kissing his neck and rocking back and forth on his lap. Dean's eyes fluttered close as she led his hand into her skirt.

All I could do was stand there, watching.

Dean said something that I couldn't make out and the redhead crashed her lips on his. I took a deep heavy breath and looked away. I turned back to the door, not wanting to see any more.

What was I thinking?

I took off the jean jacket, folded it neatly and placed it on the ground. I bit my lip as I started walking away. As much as I tried to chant in my head that it didn't matter and I didn't care, God knows I did. I did and I hated it.

I'm sure I wasn't looking where I was going because I bumped into a shelf in the hallway, causing the flower vase on top of it to fall to the ground, making a loud noise.

"Shit." I cursed under my breath and ran to the elevator, not bothering to place the flower vase back. Thankfully, it hadn't broken.

Immediately I got out of the building, I ran into my car and drove off. I ran a hand through my hair and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. All I could think about was the image of Dean kissing that girl.

Why. Did. It. Hurt. So. Much?

______