Dëmūns Veř : Rise of The Legends

'...get the monsters. Every culture has its own gaggle of monsters and beings residing in traditional tales.There are things that are bigger than us that we glimpse and things that are, in any case, beyond our control. They are the unknown. The darkness under the stairs or off the path in the forest or- My head suddenly whips up on the left before I can stop myself. It happened on instinct and my eyes met with the glass window. Lightly shaking my head, I blink, baffled with the sudden turn that occurred before even my mind could register the fact. What happened? Not dwelling on it much, I turn back to my book to continue ahead from where I left off. As my hand skim across the page I subconsciously turn my head at the window once again. Due to the large campus and school structure being wide rather than tall, and the library situating at the front, I can easily make out the entrance pathway and the people entering and leaving. My fingers touching the old paper eventually came to a stop as I unintentionally try to focus beyond the glass, narrowing my eyes to be able to get a better view. I finally see. A blur silhouette. My left hand reach beside my temples as I slightly lift my charcoal black hoodie away from my eyes and adjust my black-framed glasses. Anyone can easily tell it's a man by his tall, sturdy figure and the way he is leaning across the sleek black car in his grey suit with one hand in his pocket and another one holding a bouquet of purple asters. My favourite flowers. For whom? Soon I receive my answer. A golden blond struts towards him while donning a red graduation gown. The way she's walking, she's obviously in heels. Are they together? The sudden thought slips inside my head, surprising myself. Well, the answer doesn't matters to me. Besides, what's it have to do with me... Why am I even wasting my time on them? With a shake of my head, I go back to my book. Deciding not to divert my mind with any other unimportant things anymore. After all, its the day of my dreams. Graduation day. No—no, back up. Let me clear that up. Graduation day isn't the day of my dreams. No. Its the companion it brings with is. Freedom. Yes. Today, I am finally going to be free. Free of this school. Free of this world. Free of the people always moving around me. I'll finally be alone. Yes, you guessed it right. My definition of freedom is unlike any other. To others, it may be to go around the world, get whatever they want, grab any chances that stumble in their paths. Choose. Exactly. It all comes to that. Choice. To be able to choose. And to me, I choose solidarity. For me, freedom is that I can finally go behind the four walls of my room without worrying about school and its people. Away from the outside world. Only with my books, my computer and my silence. Where, I'll only have little worries to help Aunt Karen with her shop and less interact with outsiders much to her dismay. Despite of her wishes for me to go out and explore and live. Aunt Karen is the only person I can describe as family. Besides her, I have no one else in my life. No friends. No other families or relatives. Not even acquaintances. Nothing. So her words and wishes matters to me and can weigh me down than any other force in this world. Not that I have much to compare it with. She's a beautiful, single, independent and confident woman in her late thirties and the proud owner of 'Scents For Cents' -yes, you heard it right-, her flower shop. So I've tried. I tried since I was ten until I turned fifteen, took several wounds to my heart and soul, convincing myself that if there's no pain then no gain. That I have to tackle with society and it's expectations. But you know what? Society is a wicked, cruel snake. It'll chew you in and throw you out before you can even introduce yourself. And I found out about it in the hard way. The arrival of the first day of high school was suppose to be a new phase for me. It was suppose to make me forget and step ahead, but it became the very thing that finally, finally broke me. I gave up. And never tried to stand up again. It was that day and this day. Many things have changed, people from this school and those people from that day have completely forgotten me, probably on that exact same day. I was just like a passing cloud to them. And yet, not even a single moment of that day has left my mind. I have forgotten nothing. Feels like it was just yesterday when it all happened. So I backed off. I failed her. I failed Aunt Karen but she never blamed me, instead she cried for me, hurt for me and even started scolding herself. The irony. She was never at fault. I shouldn't have even been there with her. I am an orphan and she took me in, cared for me, loved me and hoped for me and I am the one who failed her. Moreover, from that day onwards she never pushed me to do anything. She let me be like the way I want to live. I don't know why I am like this. Why can't I dream like other people to have it all? To have it all of what my only one life can offer. It's plain and simple. I can't. Call it weirdness. Call it cowardice. Call it anthrophobia. I just have one answer to all. I. Just. Can't. And I'm not even sorry about it. Maybe once upon a time I was, but now? Not anymore. Why should I? When it isn't even in my control? When it isn't even my fault? I can't interact with them, period. Its not even my willingness. I just feel like I don't belong. —•—•—