Loving Mrs. Hwang

Despair

Outside the bar.

I ran after Seolhyun to talk to her, I held her wrist to stop her and she was already crying. I feel really bad hurting her if I could just help her so the pain will fade away, I'd do anything but I am the cause of her distress and that's awful.

"Hey Seol, please let's talk?" I softly requested.

She turned her face to me and wiped her shedding tears though she's struggling to keep her tears silent "There's nothing to talk about Taeyeon, it's all clear now," her voice was shaking.

"I'm sorry Seolhyun," I sincerely apologized. It wasn't my intention to give her pain.

Her tears exploded onward like water from a dam, dripping down her face. She was trembling, she couldn't control it. As much as she tried to keep it in, the pain came out like a fuss from her throat like a quiet scream.

"I'm not mad at you... but I'm hurt," she managed to say while sobbing hard.

"It also hurt me to see you like this Seol," I said pursing my lips.

Then crimson, gloomy eyes stared back at me, with watery streaks falling down her face "Mrs. Hwang is engaged and you just met her, you don't know her yet so why are you so sure that you love her and she loves you?" She challenged.

"I feel special connection with her, this connects our feelings as one. Me and her as one," I answered.

Slow desolate tears ran from her unblinking eyes and dripped steadily into her face.

"That's not a reason, it takes time to call it love," she countered.

"Love is unconditional and as I said, I'm not rushing things with her but I know that this feeling is real and it's love," I pointed out.

"It's just infatuation! Mrs. Hwang is really beautiful and has a nice body, all of the students are infatuated by her," she claimed.

I scowled and shook my head.

"You know what I think to Mrs. Hwang?" She dared asking.

"I think she's smart and independent woman. Her fiance probably has a professional job as well. They are perfect for each other, a perfect family. And you are just her student, she's a straight girl experimenting with you," she blurted out as she heaved. That slapped me hard in my face, it hurts me like s**t.

"Maybe you're right, they could've perfect family like a simple and secure life but Tiffany confirmed that she just love her fiance like a friend. I love her and she loves me, I trust her. I know it's kinda selfish but we can't just pretend and lie to y'all because if we continue those lies, all of us will be just hurt in the end," this was too much to handle. I was holding back my tears.

Seolhyun covered her eyes with her hand "I love you Taeyeon, why can't you just love me?" Her shoulders were trembling with sadness.

I stepped closer to her and hugged her, she buried her face on my chest. Tear drops fell from her eyes, drenching my shirt. She sobbed into my chest unceasingly, hands clutching at my shirt.

I held her quietly and rocking her slowly to comfort her.

"I should've told you how much I love you before, I was scared. I'm so stupid not to tell you earlier. Maybe this wouldn't have happened," she murmured.

I shushed her softly "I love you Seolhyun... you know I love you."

"Not as much as you love her and not the way I love you," she confirmed as her grip tightened.

"I hope I could help you to ease the pain," I said guilty.

Seolhyun slowly pulled her face to look at me "You can help me."

"How? I'll do everything that I can," I adamantly stated.

"Kiss me," she simply replied.

I frowned in confusion.

"Kiss me," she reiterated. "Kiss me and let me feel you one last time. Please," she begged.

"But-"

"You're not cheating, you said you and Mrs. Hwang aren't dating yet. It's just a kiss, a closure?" She insisted. "Just one kiss Taeyeon, this will help me a bit."

I sighed. I didn't want to but I have to.

This was the only thing I can do for her, to grant her request.

I held her face then she leaned to it and felt the warm of my palm.

"It feels so good," she smiled but pain was obvious to her voice.

I wiped her tears then slowly, I was leaning forward to her. I wanted to help her so I should do it right. I wanted her to feel that I care for her and I'm here for her even just a friend.

This kiss will be our closure.

Then I felt her soft, warm lips against mine. My heartbeat was just steady, no malicious things that swarmed in my head. This was just a platonic kiss.

Seolhyun suddenly pulled the back of my head to deepen the kiss and she roughly moved her lips to mine as she used her tongue.

It caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react. It felt very uncomfortable and disturbing. I tried to break the kiss but she wrapped her arms around my neck guarding and kissing me forcefully.

I could feel her tears were streaming down our cheeks as we kissed, that made me stop resisting.

Her kiss became soft and gentle, I could taste her pain through this.

Unconsciously, I kissed her back.

I wanted to take the pain from her. I wanted to feel it. I wanted it to just fade away.

Seolhyun is kind person. She deserve someone who will love her the way she does. It will take time but I hope that she will find her happiness soon.

We both slowly pulled away breaking the kiss.

"Thank you Taeyeon," Seolhyun gave me a small smile. "That's a wonderful kiss, I will treasure it forever."

"Taeyeon?" Someone called me and I'm familiar with that voice. Yoona.

Me and Seolhyun both turned to her. She was shocked gaping at us. She looked afraid and worried.

"Yoona?"

I noticed that she was looking passed us, she eyed me hinting that I did something I might regret.

I slowly turned my head to see what Yoona was staring at, to my dismay, there... she was standing with blood shot eyes glaring at us. It was Tiffany.

My heart beats to its limit like I would've an heart attack. Did she see us kissing?

"P-Pani?"

Then Tiffany didn't say anything then walked away, I wanted to follow her but I couldn't move.

"Taeyeon, follow her. Maybe she saw us kissing, it will give her wrong impression," Seolhyun concluded.

I nodded and finally, I moved my hands and I could control my body again so I ran to follow Tiffany.

I was running like my life would depend on it, I didn't care if I was tired or my legs felt numb. All I could think was to find Tiffany.

Thank God, I saw her so I quickly ran to her. She was about to get in the car but I stopped her by holding her arm.

"Wait Pani," I was panting. "Please... let's talk."

Tiffany closed the door of her car then she snatched her arm away from me, I stared at her and noticed her teary eyes.

"There's nothing to talk about Taeyeon," she coldly said.

I shook my head "What you saw is just nothing, it meant nothing, I swear," I justified.

Tiffany sarcastically smirked "I'm not dumb Taeyeon, I saw you kissing Seolhyun. You were kissing her," she emphasized the last sentence.

"But it meant nothing, I swear," I argued.

"Of course, it meant something! Oh yes, you are nothing cheating on me. We're just nothing, you can do whatever you want and I'm so stupid because I'm willing to give up my relationship with Minho because of you," her face scrunched up as she sneered at me.

My whole body was shaking, I was afraid that she might change her mind just because of what happened.

"I just did that as a closure, she requested it so I kissed her for the last time. I realized that I don't have feelings for her anymore, it's just normal feeling like a friend," I clarified.

"So if she requested to have s*x with you, you would just do it?" She countered.

"Of course not, I would never do that!" I retorted.

"You already broke my trust Taeyeon," she sighed heavily. "I can't do this anymore. You don't love me and I think you're not ready for a relationship."

"I love you and I'm certain with that! How could you question my feelings for you with just one kiss?" I asked dubiously.

"Because if you really love me, you will never do that," she sternly said then she opened the door of her car again.

"Where are you going?" I also held the door of her car.

"It's not of your business," she flatly said.

"Pani-"

"Don't call me that! Call me Mrs. Hwang and I'm going to meet Minho tonight!" She accidentally raised her voice. I was shocked and she also was but she covered it with a disapproving glare.

That instantly broke my heart.

"Are you going to talk to him?" I asked hopefully.

Tiffany smirked "Do you still think that I will break up with him after what you've done? Full of yourself huh?" She shoved my hand away from her car's door then got inside the driver's seat. She banged the door and locked it immediately, she buckled up her seat belt.

I tried to open it and knocked on her window but she didn't bother to glance at me. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine started up.

Her car started to run so did I, I kept slamming my palm on her window but she just ignored me. I ran till her car was on the road leaving me hopeless in the middle of the road.

Tiffany left me.

My mind couldn't register it, I felt kinda numb inside. Tears were uncontrollably streaming down my cheeks as my shirt got drenched.

All was blurred, sounds were disappearing and I was like falling in deep black hole.

Then I heard a very soft and low horn, I didn't know where it came from but I couldn't move my body. Suddenly, I felt a hard thing crushed my back and there was unexplainable pain that hit me.

Just a flash then the scary darkness took all over me.

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Second.