The Princess Swap

16.

“Seriously, Zion, what’s this?” I complained as he continued to pull me away from Callan.

“We need to talk,” He growled. I pushed him away, angry at his intrusion. I finally got to spend time with Beta Callan and he came from nowhere like an evil conjuring to ruin it with his ugly personality.

“We don’t need to talk. Not unless you stop being a jerk.” The harder I pushed, the more my arms ached but he did not slide an inch. He backed me into a wall. The gesture so similar to one Xavier had pulled on me so many times, it made my chest clam up and my breathing shallow.

“Will you stop shoving me and listen for one darn second!” He snapped, words bleeding into each other in a low growl.

I froze.

Yeah, being without a wolf didn’t mean I couldn’t understand an Alpha’s order when I heard one. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart.

He can't hurt you, Selene. No one would hurt the princess.

I repeated the words over and over to myself, feeling his breath too close to my skin as he too tried to get himself under control. When I got my heart to stop pounding, his jaws still ground together with his left eye ticking and arms creating a barricade around me.

Such fragile control. 

 My earlier words had been out of spite but then, I wondered if he really would make a good king. With what little leash he had on his temper, we could very well be on our way to havoc as a kingdom under his reign.

“Ok, what? Talk,” I said, feeling the tightness in my gut tightened further.

“You’re driving me crazy.” He breathed, one hand quickly raking his hair from his face. I stared at him, resisting a scoff. Well, that made two of us.

“Is that why you manhandled me here and have me backed into a corner? I’m driving you crazy? Well, that makes two of us,” I said. “It’s a miracle I haven’t run mad already. All your nonsense is enough to have driven me crazy.” He blinked at me. Then he smiled. That dratted smile that felt and looked like mockery. A smile that didn’t soften his eyes but hardened them.

“You’re the one who backed me into a corner with that stupid stunt you pulled the other day.” He let his hands drop from my sides, using them to push his hair out of his face. “Are you really not going to let me out of this engagement?” He asked, hands still holding his hair away from his face.

“If you want out, then pull out. Either way, you’re the one who suffers the consequences.” I shrugged, tucking a hair behind my ears. I felt my heartbeat start to calm.

We stood there for a while, him just staring at me and me feeling my skin prickle from his stare, standing put with the knowledge or the conviction he wouldn’t let me go even without his hands barring my exit.

He started to pace, pulling at his hair. “I don’t know. I don’t know. Stop that. Goddess, I said I don’t know! Will you shut up now?” He pulled harder at his hair until his face reddened. “No, don’t think that. Why – Goddess, what is this life?” I started to tiptoe away, feeling the budding of his anger. “Shut up!” I froze. He whirled on me and I fought the urge to curl into myself.

Harsh on his wolf.

I added that to his list of jerky moves.

“You’ve grown a backbone,” He accused. Yes, accused. His words dripped with venom. It doused the dread in my stomach in a flash.

“About time don’t you think?” I quirked a brow, folding my hands at the undecipherable look in his eyes.

“Who would have dreamt?” He laughed quietly. “This is the worst time for this.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, pacing to a nearby window. He walked back, standing a foot opposite me.

“I’m curious. Why now?” He asked. I shrugged for the umpteenth time.

Because I wished for this life and you’re the barrier between me and enjoying the luxury of royalty.

“A girl gets tired of so much crap after twenty years. I got fed up. Deal with it, Zion.” With his anger gone, I felt my bravado return.

“It’s still weird hearing you say my name,” He muttered. “It’s infinitely better than hearing you say silly things like ‘dearest Prince’ and all other nonsense your mother got you up to saying.” He paused while I continued to stare at him, alarmed and relieved not to be facing the anger I thought he would be stewing in.

“Tell you what, I’m as curious about your newfound boldness as much as I am tempted to break this stupid rebellious streak.” Again, he got too close for comfort.

“You say rebellious streak, I said fed-up of Zion and his bullshit. And Zion, I’d love to see you try. I’ve seen worse, had worse. If I didn’t break then, then there’s no breaking me. Ever.”

“I want to believe you but if you’re truly fed up, you wouldn’t be marrying me still. I want to believe you but then you open your mouth and say things that make it sound like you’re possessed.”

“Hey, maybe you can rest now. Maybe you’ve broken me. Maybe that the reason I’m speaking nonsense. You never know.” I studied my nails while spying on him from beneath the Princess’ thick lashes.

His hair stood up at awkward angles as his hands ran through them, jaw tight.

When he didn’t respond, I took it as a way to get away from him but he stopped me before the thought fully formed.

“About the things you said the other day,” He began, voice tight and hand holding back his hair.

“No,” I interjected, knowing where this was going.

“You didn’t let me finish.” He growled, annoyance showing his wolf eyes.

“I don’t regret it.”

 He looked away and for an insane second, I thought I saw vulnerability in the way his shoulders hunched forward. It must have been a trick of the lighting. He turned back to me with his usual aloof stare.

“So you meant it then.” His eyes didn’t meet mine as he spoke. I looked around to check if he was still speaking to me. His words were low enough to be only for his ears but even with my unranked ears, I could hear them.

“Yes, I meant it. I’m not calling this off. You do the honours,” I said and then gave an exaggerated wink to his turned face. “Take one for the team.”

He turned back to me with an exaggerated exhale. “You went from perky annoying to moody annoying,” He muttered. I rolled my eyes, feeling my nose wrinkled with the disgust I felt.

“And you went from jerky annoying to jerkier annoying. You honestly make my head hurt by breathing in my direction.” I countered.

“It must be pounding now.“ He snorted.

A haunted look cast a shadow around his eyes. I glared at him, hating to be concerned. “Why did you drag me here anyway? I was having a pleasant conversation with Callan before you came with your unsavoury personality to ruin it.”

“God, sometimes I wish you were never born!” He exclaimed, pacing again. Yet another display of his lack of control over his emotions. Even I knew better. I knew to keep my emotions in check. Letting everyone see them, letting my actions be a blank book for others to read my emotions meant making myself vulnerable. People exploited vulnerability.

Sometimes I wished I wasn’t born too. But I think I wish my father was never born more than I wish I wasn’t. Without him, there would have been no me. Without him, my troubles would have been less.

“Me too.” The words slipped out before I knew it, so used to being self-deprecating, I didn’t give them much thought.

“Great. You’re back to your signature wretchedness.”

I took a step away from him. Then I shook my head. Enough of this. My legs weren’t tied down. I didn’t need to stay put and listen to someone insult me when they would never listen to me.

“I’m sick of this. Goodbye, Zion. Find someone else to tolerate your overblown ego.” I made to leave but unsurprisingly, he stopped me.

“I wasn’t talking about the betrothal.”

“Then what –“

“Do you really think I will make a bad king?” He muttered, his brows meeting in the middle, eyes narrowed.

I paused to choose my words. Ryker said I spoke without feeling sometimes. Once we had an exercise where he got me mad then counted down the seconds until I blew up and threw his insecurities at his face to be as hurtful as possible.

‘You’re a good person, Selene, but words – Don’t always try to out-insult those who insult you.’

In this scenario, I felt satisfaction rather than shame for letting my anger get the best of me. For saying things I neither meant nor understood. Yes, they hurt him. They hurt him a lot judging by the fists balled at his sides.

“Do you think you will make a good king?” I asked rather than assuage him like he wanted. His fists balled tighter as his shoulders fell, not getting the answer he expected.

A good king, in my opinion, was one ready to put his kingdom before himself. Kingdom first. Self second. Zion would always put himself first, his ego second and his horrible temper third before looking for where to put the kingdom. How good of a king could someone like that be?

Remembering how he held up the emissary from the South, something pricked inside me. He had been so angry. Angrier than I had ever seen anyone, my father included, get. The memory still made me shiver. That man was a kinsman. His Subject and if I had not shown up, not called his name after which he let the man drop, before storming off, he very well could have caused serious damage to the poor man.

He put his temper first.

“I’m willing to try, to put in my best to make sure Karriel thrives under my reign. I’m willing to marry you to ensure peace with people who have held on to a thirty-year-old grudge, sacrificing my happiness in the process.” He recited like a mantra he had practised over time. “What else do I need to be a good king?”

I almost laughed. Almost. But it was too sad to laugh. If all it took for Karriel to thrive was a ‘willingness' to put in effort and marry a pretty bride, Karriel would never have any problems.

“If you think that’s what it takes to be a good king then I’m afraid you’ll be way worse than I imagined.”

“The kingdom comes first to –“

“That’s so easy to say but so far we haven’t seen it. You’ve done nothing to show you care about anything or anyone but yourself. The only time we see you as someone who isn’t completely caught up in himself and his wars is when you come out with the princess and we’re made to believe you’re a man capable of love. Even that turned out to be fake so I don’t know,” I said.

“And there you go, speaking like you’re possessed, Ariana. I’m hoping something has changed about you but it’s starting to seem more and more like a nut is loose in your head. Why in god’s name are you referring to yourself as ‘the princes?’”

I felt my skin heat up at my slip up.

“And there you go neglecting my words for –“ He suddenly grabbed my hands and started pulling me again.

“As my queen, you must help me be a better king.”

“Hey. I thought you said –“