The Princess Swap

14.

I smoothed down my dress for the hundredth time, clasping and unclasping my hands on my thighs as one of the Queen’s maids poured us tea. She remained composed with a smile while my hands shook as I reached for my cup. I pretended not to feel the burn of the liquid as I took a sip. Anything to occupy me while the Queen thanked the maid.

“I have looked over someone suitable for you.” She took a sip of her tea. I readjusted my fingers gripping my cup.

“Someone – someone suitable? “ Like a new groom? Did – did I just ruin Princess Ariana's engagement? I hoped not!

“Yes. Your mother and I think you should take some etiquette lessons.”

“Oh.” Myself and your mother. Without asking you, we went ahead and decided for you and now, we have found the perfect person to make you perfect.

I reminded myself to be grateful. These people cared about me – or well, the Princess. I couldn’t allow myself have an identity crisis by considering myself as the Princess. I shouldn’t spite their help or abhor their concerns. Even though I felt like I was being treated like a child yet again.

“You don’t seem too excited about it,” She said, still smiling. “You didn’t come to see me as I asked. I planned to introduce the lady for you to determine if you liked her or not. Although I feel you should.” Her smile widened as she dropped her cup. I mimicked her gesture, hands trembling.

Could I hope that she hadn’t heard what I just did to her son? Marcella would flip, maybe even throw a table and while my heart had fallen to the ground at having the Queen wait at the entrance for me, she didn’t scold me. Yet. But she seemed to be biding her time.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up in –“ I trailed off. I got caught up in the overwhelming emotions of the Prince and how they pulled me in, almost as if – “I’m sorry.” I settled on. She nodded, looking the least bit offended.

I wondered how she could be like that. It was an insult to decline an invite from a royal. It was an even bigger one to accept and then not show up. She must have been waiting for me and I never turned up but rather than pick offence, she went on with her easy-going life.

I wondered how such a woman could birth someone like the Prince. Goddess knows he would have made a fuss worthy of numerous headlines if I stood him up.

“It’s fine. You should start lessons whenever you feel like this week.” She crossed her legs at her ankles and fixed me with a stern face. “Speak to your mother, Ariana. Whatever is going on between you two doesn’t seem pleasant to either one of you. She has burdened herself with preparing for your wedding, please don’t shut her out now.”

I looked away, biting my lips.

One day, I would understand the deal with Marcella but today, I focused on not angering two of the most powerful people in my world.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” I bared my neck while she nodded in recognition.

“I suppose we must now address the elephant in the room.” My heart fell. Her voice remained neutral but her smile had vanished.

If we must then I could not object.

I took in a deep breath, sat up straighter and crossed my legs.

“I’ve been told that you humiliated Zion in what was to be a last-minute scramble for the people to see him in a different light.”

Well, when she put it like that, I suppose I should have felt sorry for my actions. I didn’t. I felt uncomfortable sitting there while she said it without mincing words.

Sure, I humiliated him. It tasted like ripe, juicy mango. I wouldn’t and couldn’t regret it. She never called me in to have a chat all the times he humiliated me. I could bet a limb she didn’t call him in either to have a chat after he spoke to me like a second class citizen, unworthy of breathing the same air as him.

“Oh, yeah. He was asking for it,” I said with a shrug. Then I closed my mouth with my hands in horror. “I mean –“ That could not be the right this to say to the Queen about her son, no matter how true they were. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Your Majesty.“ I tried to stand to show her how sorry I felt. Not for telling Zion off but for the chance she felt insulted.

“Don’t be.” She broke into a smile as she said this and for a second, I blinked at her, expecting my eyes to be playing tricks on me. Did I hear her – “He deserved it.” She chuckled, the sound a carefree sound that sounded as angelic as her smile looked.

“He – he did?” I noted my tea had gone cold and bland as I raised it to my lips. But anything to keep my hands busy. They quivered as I placed the cup down.

The woman sighed, standing from her seat to stare out a small, high window in the room.

“You expect me to be on his side as his mother. But Zion is a grown man and I’ve seen the way he treats you.” She paused then – “Will you forgive me, my Princess?”

Okay, things weren’t going where I expected them to. She sounded almost like Marcella. What did she need forgiving for? Asides from raising a son with no compassion, the queen stood blameless.

“Forgive?” I blinked at her. She still had her back to me, a dainty hand holding the curtains ajar. When she finally turned, I was surprised to see a frown on her face.

“It seems I haven’t raised him the right way,” She mused, fingering a simple necklace she always wore. I held myself from blinking a hundredth time.

“He’s twenty-seven years old. I’m sure he can take credit for acting like a jer – for acting the way he does.” I saved myself before I crossed the line. I had been toeing it too hard. “This is all on him and has nothing to do with you.”

Rather than smile, she looked even more dejected. Prince Zion, no doubt, grew up spoilt. I couldn’t get the image of him drinking before his father at the breakfast table out of my mind. How his father had laughed at such blatant disrespect.

They let him get away with too much. Maybe they were to be faulted. But then again, at twenty-seven a man can’t blame his parents for his faults.

“Maybe you’re right. He knows what he’s doing. Do you?” She asked, sitting back down to look me square in the face.

She could be unnerving when she chose. With her steel-grey eyes and thin lips. They could be both beautiful and lethal. It bothered me that she still found a way to look neutral in this situation. I needed a clue as to how she felt. What she taught of me being rude to her family, disrespectful to her by extension

Did I know what I was doing?

Oh, yes. I was putting an end to the superiority complex of Prince Zion. Did I know what it meant for the Princess? Not entirely. I couldn’t be so brazen or unthinking to call off an engagement that wasn’t mine. I would hate for him to call my bluff and ruin the Princess’ marriage and probably her life. I hoped he didn’t.

Did I know what I was doing?

By the Moon, maybe I didn’t. Hell, I almost felt bad now. Almost.

“I’ve been told you’ve asked him to call off the engagement.” I looked away, feeling the intent of her gaze overwhelm me. “Is that what you want?”

“I – I just – It’s not my place. I just want –“ I trailed off as she raised her hand. The gesture so like her mate’s, I stopped speaking at once.

“I – we are not so selfish not to think of your happiness in all this, Ariana. No matter how much it seems we care only for our son and what we stand to gain from this marriage. I have watched you grow, knowing I would get to call you my daughter-in-law one day. You are my daughter in a way. It’s your place to call this off. If you don’t love him, then we will have an announcement tomorrow to end this betrothal.”

I felt trapped. Like I dug a pit and stumbled into it. This – I had no say in this matter. I wish I could find Ariana, wherever it is she had vanished to. It would be so much easier to adapt knowing I had her words as guidance.

“O – okay.” I swallowed. Then realised I could do better than that. “It’s not like –“

“Do you love him?” If I blinked anymore, she would think I had something in my eye.

“O – Of course, I do.” I shifted in my seat, swallowing louder than appropriate. Bile rose in my throat at loving a man like that. Who would love someone who had no respect or regard for them? Only a fool.

“Ariana, I think you’re perfect for my son,” She started, her smile returning. “I’m even more convinced of it now. I don’t know what changed with you, maybe you’ve gotten fed up with him, but I’m glad it did. He needs someone to put him in his place and you’re the perfect person to.” She paused, her smile fading. “I may sound biased if I say you should stick with him so I won’t say it. It’s your choice. Don’t let anyone enforce their decisions on you, Princess, not even your mother.”

“Oh, Okay.”

“Yes. It is something you will have to learn if you decide to be Queen. A lot of people have ideas, many opinions on how a kingdom should be run. But you only know your interest, Ariana. This is where decisiveness comes into play. Whose advice will you take and which will you trash? I have watched you grow up, allowing yourself to be influenced by every decision except yours. I’m glad to see the end of it.” She reached across the small table separating us to hold my hands. “If you so please, you will make a great Queen for Karriel.”

It was the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. It would have been nicer if I didn’t wear the skin of someone else. For the first time, I felt like an impostor. A liar.

°°°

 Marcella stopped pacing when I pushed open the door. Her eyes were red and swollen. Kohl ran down her cheeks and her hair had been let down to be pulled at.

“You called off the engagement?” Were her first words. I didn’t think the princess would look this wretched if I actually called off her engagement. She looked worse than Anika did when her childhood sweetheart left her for his mate.

“I didn’t call off the engagement. I only let him know that he had the option to if he so pleased. I got tired of him lording it over me.”

“I apologized, didn’t I? I did. I shouldn’t have hit you. No one hits the Queen. Do I have to get on my knees for you to see I am sorry? Why would you say that to him? Are you trying to kill me? Is this my punishment? Why, Ariana? I’ve tried my best in raising you well. Why must you punish me this way?” She screamed loud enough for the entire castle to hear.

“This is not about you,” I said, surprised. “I can’t believe the Queen understand me better than someone who is supposed to be my mother.” I muttered.

Muttering.

It always got me in trouble.

“Oh, what game is that w***e playing with me this time!?”