Forever Finding You

8

I was barefoot walking through soft grass by a small silent stream. The sky didnt look like it was day or night, but it was illuminated by a soft silvery light that felt calming. I wasnt scared or tense here.

A figure appeared next to me, but I couldnt make out what or who it was. It didnt feel like Wesley, but it didnt feel like the other one either. The other figure Ive seen before in other dreams frightened me. This one felt like an old friend.

We walked silently together for awhile and I took in the scenery.

"You dont remember me." The figure spoke. His voice was deep and kind as he spoke.

I looked back at it, still unable to make out its shape.

"Am I supposed to?"

I saw his head move as if he was shaking it.

"No. Not yet at least." He whispered softly almost sounding sad.

We walked in silence again till we reached something blocking our way.

A large white double sided door stood in front of us in the grass.

The figure stops walking next to me.

"Take a peek." He whispered again.

I hesitated before I approached the white door. Where would this lead me to?

"Where does it lead?"

"Home."

"I dont know where home is."

"You never do." He answered solemnly

I opened it just a crack, enough to be able to peek at what was inside.

Inside was a woman in a hospital bed. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily. Her legs were up in stirrups with a doctor placed at her feet and encouraged her to push.

The woman was my mom.

I wasnt shocked by this image though. In fact I felt a weird sense of Deja Vu.

"Ive been here before." I whispered.

The figure doesnt answer me and I turn around to make sure he was still there.

"How many times have I been here?" I asked.

"Enough."

I clenched my hands, still unsure of what all of this means.

"Who is Marie?" I asked him.

The man sighed almost happily.

"You were so happy as Marie.

My stomach turned into knots hearing him say that.

"Im happy as Layla." I told him. I knew who I was and I wasnt going to to let him tell me I who I am.

"For now." He whispered. "You always forget."

I stared at him as I heard my mother yell out in pain from behind the door, but I didnt look.

"Why do I forget?"

"Because you have to."

"Then why am I dreaming and having visions?"

He didnt answer me that time. Like he couldn't explain or didnt want to explain.

I thought of the man who is missing from my dreams. He was always here.

"Where's Wesley?"

The man did something I didnt expect then, he snarled.

Yet, I didnt feel afraid.

"Wesley, hes the reason this happens to you again and again."

Then the figure pointed at me and a strong gush of wind pushed me into the open door behind me.

My eyes shot open and I sat up looking around. I was still in my room at home. No one was here but yet I felt like I was being watching.

I jumped out of bed and flipped my light switch on. Allowing the light to fill the dark corners of the room.

"It was just a dream." I repeated to myself over and over as I tried to regulate my heartbeat.

The mans words clung to my brain like blue. I was trying so hard not to think about it, but it kept coming back.

'Enough'

'You were so happy as Marie.'

'Wesley, hes the reason this happens to you again and again'

I sat on my bed letting out a shaky breath. Who even am I? Am I Layla or Marie?

Hours passed and I still sat on my bed, unable to stop thinking about the dream. I decided to text the dream I had to Britt just to get it off of my chest. Chances are she was going to sleep in today, it was Saturday. I wanted to sleep in to but I couldn't shut my brain off.

I couldnt doubt any of it anymore. All of this dreaming and my visions were real. Wesley was real. I dont know who that other guy was, but he must be real to.

The only way I was going to get answers was to find Wesley, but how?

Ive only ever seen him in the coffee shop, one time. I had no way of finding him and I didnt know his last name.

If he shows up again unexpectedly, I will have no choice but to confront him If it turns out that Im just crazy, I will make look crazy to a really cute guy. But then I will never see him again and I could move on with my life.

It saddened me to think that but I cant just keep having these dreams and not knowing anymore.

Maybe he has a social media account.

I pulled out my phone and went to Google.

I typed in Wesley, my town, and state into the search bar.

I clicked on every link searching for anything that might point me in the right direction. No profile accounts looked like him or employment profiles.

I wasnt even paying attention to what I was clicking anymore.

An obituary page opened up and I was about to click out of it when a strange feeling made me scroll down.

I froze at the picture staring at his brownish hazel eyes.

It was him, just he looked slightly different.

I read more as I scrolled down more.

'Local man passed away in tragic accident. Born December 4th 1982 Died June 20th 2008"

He died 18 years ago.

I tried to read more but there wasnt much added afterwards. No family history about his parents or extended family. He was 25 years old when he died.

I scrolled back up to the picture and stared at it some more. It had to be him, but it made no sense. He was standing in the coffee shop just 2 days ago.

I stared at my phone screen awhile longer.

I backed out of the obituary to Google and typed into the search bar again

'Marie, my town, and state.'

I began clicking on links again look for a photo that resembles me. But I found nothing that caught my attention and went through 5 pages before I ran out of links to click.

I dropped my phone and groaned from exhaustion. Researching just gave me more questions than answers.

How could a guy thats supposed to be dead, be bothering me so much?