BROKEN VOWS

Marriage is a sacred bond.   With over seven billion people around the world, Calmness Montemore were granted to have only one person to be her chosen life-long partner. As with every failed relationships, people would tell her that she just haven’t found the better half of her soul, the significant other who shared the same heart, or as some liked to put it,  her twin flame. Carefully choosing a partner was an advice that she would hear from her elders like a broken record. For years, they’ve nagged about how her single and miserable as a twenty eight year-old without a lover, but what made up for her lackluster romance was hope. Hope that someday, at the right time and place, Calmness hope to be married to the perfect husband who would love and cherish her as a wife for the rest of her life.   Perhaps Calmness were just truly meant to be married to the man that she have grown fond of since they were young. Because his and her fathers were practically brothers by virtue, their unyielding friendship had now led her to this day, wearing an immaculate ivory gown in an expensive garden venue, to marry the perpetually handsome Zivan Mikhail Stavros .     Calmness had not seen him since the day it was announced by her father that she were going to marry his best friend’s only son. The whole marriage preparation was rushed, with everything else coordinated by the people hired by Zivan’s father to ensure that the wedding would be as perfect as it should be albeit done in haste. her weren’t exactly opposing the idea, but Calmness were worried that Zivan might not be in complete agreement to be forever tied to a woman he didn’t love.   On the contrary, his grandmother told her otherwise. “Darling, he is excited to see you” for hours and hours, she called her with reassuring words as she stroked Calmness hair, eyes gleaming of delight from the mirror’s reflection. It seemed that she has noticed how nervous her were for this big day. “That young man couldn’t sleep. He must be overwhelmed.”   Inaudibly to Calmness, a sigh of relief rolled off her lips. At least, She's glad to know how he felt about today’s ceremony. She have only ever heard from her father that Zivan had consented to the wedding, but Calmness were spared of the other details for the past few months by being convinced that everyone was busy and that the only thing she needed to worry about was picking the perfect wedding dress.   “I probably should’ve spoken to him before the wedding just to make sure that he’s fine with everything, Nana.” Calmness voice mused, staring at her airbrushed face and silently admiring how glamorous the make up artists and the hair stylists made her look today. “Why? there is no need to worry about such a thing. I guarantee that my Zivan is ready as ever. He’s blessed to have a woman like you.” The crease on his grandma’s forehead lessened the more she smiled, but a cough soon erased the gentleness on her face as she rubbed her chest for some relief. With Calmness older brother standing next to her, she caressed the old woman’s back and guided her into tucking a porcelain floral headpiece just above her braided.   “Ah, look how stunning. I’ll bet my buttons her two will give me the most beautiful grandchildren.” Heat suffused Calmness cheeks at the thought of having her own family with Zivan. As part of a married couple’s life, the product of her love would be represented by the children that she would soon bear for him.   Still and all, Calmness stomach was in knots when she stood at the far side of the aisle with all eyes on her later that day. Calmness delicate fingers fidgeted as she held on to bouquet, anxiety filling her heart at a dangerous rate.   The garden was filled with people that she knew from her relatives, friends, to her other acquaintances. On the other side was Zivan’s own guests and perhaps some really important people in his life, even shareholders and investors, who were all waiting to see him finally tie the knot.   “you know, sweetheart. I was nervous when I married your mom, too,” Calmness dad offered a joke to lighten her anxious state after noticing how she tightened her grip around his arm. She shouldn’t be nervous when the garden that held her sacred exchange of love was the most enchanting floral paradise that she haven’t seen in her life. Red Roses flora covered the trellises, pastel shades colored the seats, ornate candelabras decorated the credence table, all combined with the redolence of vanilla and jasmine that greeted Calmness nose with a creamy, velvety smell.   Timeless elegance and utmost sophistication was how Calmness would describe her wedding day as though she were a modern-day Cinderella without a midnight time frame into being a princess. Chic, refined, coordinated in pearls and pastel palettes—she were left wonderstruck at how pristine everything was.   As Calmness made slow strides towards the altar, she saw her older Brother,  Tranquil, smiling on the corner, unknowingly reminding Calmness of her words this morning. “It may be arranged and all, but I hope you’ll have the happiest marriage. you deserve it.” And then Calmness saw him.   Standing at the far end of the aisle was Zivan Mikhail Stavros whose Raven hair was neatly styled in a natural pomade. He donned a classic three-piece tuxedo with a tie of the same color and satin lapels in champagne silk to emphasize the elegance in his look. The man radiated regality like a monarch of ancient times. His appearance was princely enough to make her heartbeat run faster than it already has and she wondered if she elicited the same feeling from him after seeing her on her wedding gown.   His hands were buried deep in his pockets as his ash gray eyes locked with hers in front of a smiling audience. It was typical for a groom to feel overwhelmed upon seeing his bride. Memories of his relationship with her would flash before his eyes and, most times, it would make the groom cry with the thought of finally spending his forever with her.   Zivan didn’t have all of that with her.   Calmness couldn’t tell what thoughts were bubbling inside his head as she joined him at the altar. Even though his face reflected a genial smile, his eyes couldn’t veil its emptiness. His hands felt cold when she held it. His visage remained impassive even as they faced the pastor who would be blessing their sacred marriage. It was clear as day that being in here with her was the last thing he ever wanted.   For a bride who was getting married to a man of such saintly features, Calmness certainly didn’t expect that her would have a broken heart on the day of her wedding. In an exchange of vows and I do’s, Calmness were awakened to the thought of how this wedding was a torture to Zivan’s soul. He was masking his blues with an insincere smile, standing centimeters apart while his heart was miles away.   Even at that, Calmness remained poised as she listened to the officiant’s words, taking every word deep into the vastness of her heart just like any woman who valued marriage as an important part of her life. she couldn’t possibly put the marriage to a stop, not now and not ever. Not when all eyes were fixed on the both of her, having spent the time and energy just to be in attendance to this special day.   “Zivan, do her promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect Calmness, forsaking all others, and holding only unto her forevermore?” When he took a moment to answer with a blank gaze, Calmness could feel tiny pricks being sent straight to her heart. Just a mere glance at his stolid mien was enough for her to believe that he was going to call off the wedding and run away.   What else did she expect? He clearly didn’t want this as much as Nana nor his and her fathers made it seem. It shouldn’t surprise her if he took a step back and announced that he couldn’t go on in making an oath to offer the rest of his life with her. That he would rather get out of this hell hole and be somewhere else than to proclaim a love that was being forced out of him.   But he didn’t. The soles of his leather shoes remained intact on the ground. “I do.” he professed, despite the inner turmoil that plagued his head. Being surprised by his conclusion to proceed with the marriage, Calmness made the bold to decision to also continue and return her own “I do” for when the pastor asked her of the same matrimonial question.   “Bride and Groom, you have heard the words of love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings. It is at this time that I now pronounce you husband and wife.” the officiant declared. “you may now kiss the bride.”   As Calmness turned on her heels to face each other, her groom slowly lifted the veil off her face where she had a clear view of his ash gray orbs that trailed down on her lips before he leaned in to seal this marriage with a kiss.   It was brief with his warm lips barely brushing against hers, but affectionate enough when he held her cheek along with it. The millisecond of having her lips enveloped on each other made her frozen in her spot as she absorbed the very idea that this marriage was indeed bonafide. The rings, the vows, the kiss. And when he pulled away, he was gazing at her with eyes that spoke a million words left unsaid. There was no turning back now.   From this day forward, her were officially his and he was hers.   Calmness would give credit where it was due. As much as her presumed that her groom didn’t like this marriage, Zivan was surprisingly a gentleman throughout the reception. He did little things that made her feel like she were an actual couple prior to the wedding—be it with the way he placed a hand on her back during her first dance or how he would scoot closer so her could whisper on his ear as she sat in front of curious eyes—quite the simple gestures, but enough to make Calmness heart flutter.     Even though Calmness known him for years, she have never really had a remarkable amount of interaction together. they remained as neutral acquaintances throughout her innocent childhood, merely greeting each other whenever necessary, but unexpected that her would end up having to marry each other as grown adults. To some extent, it might be a little expected. Calmness father knew about her longtime crush on him back in high school, but never did she think that the day would come where he would coordinate with the guy’s father to make sure that this marriage would happen.   Zivan was a very close family friend. Other than both of her fathers being the best of friends, her mothers were also from the same circle. Photographs of them hanging out since college were enough proof of how small the world was and how everything seemed to have connected to her and his parents to each other.    Ironically enough, they both shared the same fate, too. Due to a terminal illness, Calmness mother no longer existed in this world while Zivan’s parents were divorced for reasons she chose not to stick her nose into. Zivan’s  mother was alive, but no longer by his side after having remarried another man. On a similar note, he now had a stepmother who took care of him since he was eighteen.   It was also mainly the Stavros that wanted this arranged marriage because Nana favored her by a significant advantage. Nana has been fond of her since her father would take her to their mansion as a kid, claiming that her were the granddaughter that she never had. The thing was, Zivan’s grandmother was battling through the downsides of old age which might have left him with no choice but to comply to her last dying wish of welcoming her into their family.   Calmness were aware of how Zivan loved her with every fiber of his body because she was the only blood-related maternal figure that he had left. She could only imagining how he would chastise himself for not fulfilling her wishes before it was too late. they were pretty much on the same page, too.   She grew up with very strict parents which ultimately became the reason why She had very few experiences when it came to men. At her current age, it was a true shame to see her friends settling down while she were still claiming to be an independent career woman as an excuse to her lack of romantic relationships. None of the guys Calmness dated ever earned her father’s approval until She no longer had anyone chasing her because they must have realized that her weren’t worth all that trouble.   Clamness were the youngest between her and her Big brother who was happily married by his own choice. Unlike her, Calmness didn’t really have anyone that pursued her the way her husband did for fifteen years.    Such dedication paid off with earning her dad’s support and respect.   Calmness father thought that she were better off married to someone he knew, henceforth became the very reason of hers and Zivan’s marriage.   At least, in her point of view, Calmness hoped that it could work. She have already had a prior attraction to him during her teenage years so it was easy to fall back into that abyss of overflowing romantic emotions for the sake of her marriage. She were willing to be the best wife that he could ever ask for, only if he was ready to accept her.   “Congrats, you two.” A woman with long brown hair approached her and her husband during the reception. She recognized her as Lee Roi, one of Zivan’s closest friends since high school. Calmness were quick to greet him kindly in return. “I can’t believe you’re married, Van”   The man stood high, peering around the ballroom to see the multitude of guests that filled the place. “I can’t believe it, either.” his response was rather monotonous, not giving anything away.   Calmness tried to speak her mind and looped an arm around his, smiling gently as she looked at his angelic face. “I’m actually surprised that he showed up.” Rather than acknowledge her, he seemed all blasé about her words by simply turning to his best man, the dashing Elite Ross, who was walking behind Lee Roi.   “You are getting wasted at my wedding?” Zivan joked. exchanging fist bumps with his best friend. “I’m the one who should be drinking.”   Elite’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he shot her a friendly smile. “Hey, Calmness.” he greeted before facing her husband. “you can’t drink, you scum. you have a long night ahead with your wife. They say honeymoon stage is the best.”   He was teasing the newly wed by wiggling his eyebrows that garnered hers and Lee’s chuckles. On one hand, Zivan was holding his breath with a face that concealed his distaste for the thought. His countenance was what forced her to withdraw her arm that was loosely hooked around his, judging on his reaction and noticing the way his Adam’s apple rose up and down.   Before Calmness could say anything else, he snatched the glass of whiskey from his best friend’s hand and took a swig in heavy gulps. “I just wanna get this s**t over with.”   She started the day with a half contented heart. She were made a fool for thinking that Zivan was looking forward to being married to her because She were gullible enough to listen to hers and his family’s words. Of course, they would tell her that he was excited even if he was far from it. Why would they ruin a special day by telling her that the reason they kept Zivan away from her for the past two months was because they knew he would tell her just how much he despised this wedding?   There was no doubt that he was only being civil in front of her families. He would hold her hand, walk side by side with her, and even smile at her—but through it all, there was a thin line between being genuine and simply acting. It was obvious in Zivan’s Ash gray eyes that he was doing the latter.   Every time he noticed that no one was looking, he would brush her hand away and walk three steps forward without looking back. He would glance at her with a sharp gaze, never truly looking at her to notice the pain that painted her face in dejection.   Zivan must have dreaded this day too much. Even as the reception ended and both of her families sent her off to a black sedan as newlyweds, Zivan was building an impenetrable wall that bordered his intentions and hers in a way to wake her up from her daydream.   Life was not a fairytale, and he was the reality that pulled her back to her feet.   “You probably couldn’t wait for this day to happen, didn’t you?” his question reeked with disgust as they sat on the backseat of the sedan. He had his arms crossed and back reclined against the backrest, staring at the view of the city like they were of better interest than his own wife.   Calmness tried to swallow the weakness in her voice. “Zivan, I-I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I knew that you didn’t want it.”   For the first time that night, he turned to look at her face with eyes that bore heavily into hers. “What makes you think I ever wanted it?”   He didn’t hold back from saying those venomous words regardless if they sent knives to her aching heart. He looked even more bothered at the fact that his personal driver could hear just how revolted he was with her, exposing how this marriage was nothing but forced out of his will and that she were responsible for all of this. When Calmness dreamed about weddings as a child, she didn’t picture out that she would be fighting with her husband on the first night.   But for what it was worth, he didn’t really consider her as a wife. Only by contract did this bond make her a legal partner, not through his personal feelings nor his own wishes.   “I’m sorry.” Calmness didn’t know why she said those words in silent acquiescence. she didn’t know if she were saying it to him or to herself for being oblivious to the reality that awaited her.   He didn’t care. He stepped out of the car without looking behind to see if Calmness caught up with his long strides. He didn’t speak another word as she got inside the elevator to his upscale apartment building, later entering the penthouse that she now called her home. Such a home almost emitted a gasp from her the minute her entered the topmost apartment. Everything was luxurious—from the high ceilings, the lush furniture, to the infinity rooftop pool. The glass panels offered a gorgeous view of the Central City skyline and she stood mesmerized by the cityscape that reflected a constellation of different lights.   “Are you gonna keep standing there or what?” Calmness got out of trance at the sound of Zivan’s voice who stood outside of a bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt with a moue on display. “I’m just- Is this where you live?” Calmness inquired, following him inside the room where a king-sized bed was laid in front of her. “Yeah.” He answered. While Calmness stood meekly on one corner, Zivan had already gotten rid of his shirt to be completely bare-chested and she didn’t expect that he was that toned under his clothes. The man may be her husband now, but she felt awkward around him at a situation where he would walk around half naked like she have seen all of him before.   “your stuff’s in my closet if you wanna change.” she gave him a small nod. “Okay.”   What do married couples do on the first night? Calmness were panicking on the inside as her made she walk towards Zivan’s walk-in closet that housed a significant amount of expensive corporate suits and ties. The right side of the spacious wardrobe was where all of her clothes and shoes were neatly organized, seemingly done by the housemaids back at her father’s house.   It just started to fully sink into her that she were actually married and this setup was what she considered normal now. In two years, five years, or ten years from now, sharing the same living arrangement with Zivan would no longer be considerably new to her. She would be accustomed to his daily routines in her domestic household, perhaps with kids running around the house in a year or two.   For now, the biggest challenge was her own husband. The same man who grabbed her by the wrist and pinned her against the wall, staring down at her in scrutiny. The look of intent that he sent her was close enough to be a glower, one that brought her sudden fright and increased the speed of her heartbeat.   “Z-Zivan.” her mumbled. pulling her wrist away. “What are you—” He lightly cupped her jaw and Calmness could feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest that signaled his growing ire. His gaze was sharp and unforgiving, ready to ruin her entirety even with just his rancorous words. “Let’s set things straight here.” he spoke in a domineering voice. “you and I will never work.”   There was no point to restrain her emotions with no one else around to play pretend. In spite of that. Calmness held onto the ring around her finger to try and clear her intentions. “I know you’re not happy with this- but I wanna try.”   “Try?” he scoffed, leaning in closer until her could feel his warm but minty breath against her cheek. “you’re the one who forced this marriage, right? Since you had that stupid crush on me for f**k knows how long and no one else wanted you?”   Calmness immediately shook her head in denial. How did he even the get that impression?   “Th-That’s not true.” she stated firmly. “I’d never force anything! I was just complying to our dads’ requests just like you did.”   His eyebrows furrowed at her claim. “Bullshit. Why did you say you’ll pull out all of his investments if I didn’t agree to marry you?”   Calmness eyes widened at the newfound information because never did it cross her mind that her dad would even do such a thing. Moreover, it wasn’t in his character to give an ultimatum of that scale for the sake of marrying off his youngest daughter. Was he bluffing? With those facts alone. Calmness refused to believe her husband’s words. “My dad wouldn’t do that. He would never say that.” “Whatever, then.” Zivan’s frown lessened, but the hand that held her jaw remained still. “If you really wanna try, then stay the f**k away from me when no one’s around. Get it?”   Calmness couldn’t understand this. No, she were failing to grasp why she were being subjected to such hostility when she had no ill intentions when she agreed to this marriage. Had she known that Zivan would treat her unfairly for it, She never would have agreed. Calmness would have continued her life as a lonely woman in her mid-twenty’s without a husband who was ready to give her hell.   The antagonism in his stance induced a faint tear on her eye as her searched for the minuscule kindness in his. “Why do you hate me so much?” Calmness asked, chest heaving from the oncoming surge of tears. “you weren’t like this before.”   While he released his hold on her, he spat out words that stung her heart with fatal poison. “you married me.” it was his simple answer. “that’s why.”   He was already walking away before she could respond. He was already stepping on her heart, thrashing it, pulverizing every artery before her could even think of living in bliss at the false pretense that he could learn to love her just as how willing her were to love him.   “you can sleep on the couch.” he offered, apathetic to the pain that swallowed her inside, “I’m not sharing a bed with you.”