I didn’t sleep the night the news dropped... or maybe I did but only inside the scream... the kind of sleep that doesn’t rest anything... only exhausts you deeper... the kind where your body is horizontal but your brain is pacing like it’s late for a fire drill and someone forgot to install exits... Jack was there... still there... quiet, warm, constant... he didn’t try to solve anything... he didn’t even ask what I needed... he just stayed... like he’d already decided my chaos was worth making peace with... and I hated how much I needed that... hated how much I didn’t hate him anymore...
Because Ryan was nowhere... not physically, not emotionally, not in the corners of the apartment where his ghost usually lived... he hadn’t texted since he said he didn’t know if it was real... hadn’t ca
